Trigger Warning

//

Drug and alcohol use; marijuana.

Wait to start the song.

Josh laid in bed, staring at his ceiling. It had been a week since he went with Brendon to that party, and a week since he'd seen Tyler. It seemed like, outside of that environment, Tyler didn't exist. There was no sight of him around town, and anyone who might've known him didn't mention him or act like they did. Maybe Josh had actually gotten drunk off those two drinks and he hallucinated him the whole time.

He would probably believe that if that kiss Tyler left on his mouth didn't feel so real.

Brendon had gone out to another party tonight, and, true to his word, didn't invite Josh this time. Hayley had said last time that he was more than welcome to show up whenever they were having a party or even if they weren't. They liked Josh, and they liked that he knew how to limit himself and that he had goals. They thought it was really admirable.

But Josh really wanted to see Tyler.

Since last week, he's been on Josh's mind in the form of daydreams, passing thoughts and even dreams that crept up on him in the middle of the night. Josh felt like he was going crazy, but he rationalized his feelings as just an infatuation with a mysterious boy who didn't care that he was a square. Tyler saw him as a normal person, just like everyone else, regardless of what he did or didn't do.

His mind was running at a hundred miles an hour as he sat up in his bed, running his hands over his face. He looked at the clock, the green numbers facing him almost in a mocking manner as he stuck his feet in his shoes and grabbed his car keys, calling to his mom that he'd be back tomorrow before leaving the house with not a clear plan floating through his mind.

* * *

There were about the same number of cars and people floating around Hayley's as last time when Josh pulled up. He looked at the house, sighing to himself before killing the engine and leaving the car, heading up the sidewalk to the front door. He didn't knock before entering, no one ever really did, and he immediately went on a search for Hayley or Brendon. He walked around for a moment before finding Hayley on the back patio talking to some of her friends. When she made eye contact with him, her face lit up and broke into a wide grin as she made her way to him.

"Josh!" Her voice was loud and high pitched, and Josh could tell she was already tipsy as she wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. "I thought you weren't coming! Brendon said you weren't, anyway."

Josh shrugged gently, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Nothing else to do, you know," he said with a soft laugh. "I don't work on Sunday's so I figured why not show up? I don't have anything going on tomorrow, so.."

Hayley laughed gently, nodding as she took him by the hand. "Let's go get you a drink, then." He allowed Hayley to lead him to the kitchen and hand him a drink from the fridge. He twisted the top off and took a small drink, watching Hayley laugh as he didn't grimace this time. "Looks like you're getting used to it now, huh?"

Josh laughed and nodded as he took another small sip. "I guess so."

Hayley nodded looking around the room before leaning closer to Josh and dropping her voice. "Tyler's here, you know?"

Josh felt his body shiver at the mention of the boy's name, looking at Hayley with shy eyes. "Is he?"

Hayley smiled knowingly, tipping her head back as she finished her drink and grabbed another one. "I know that's why you're really here," she said as she popped the top off and took another drink. "He's asked about you."

That really surprised Josh. Some part of him didn't think he meant enough to the boy for him to be asking about him. "He has?"

Hayley nodded. "He's here almost every day," she said. "He asked if I knew much about you, and I told him I didn't, just that I know you're friends with Brendon." Josh nodded as she smirked again. "I told him you were a nice boy. He just said 'I know.'"

Josh felt his face flush, trying to hide it as he took another drink from the bottle in his hands. He tried to picture Tyler and Hayley talking about him, but he couldn't. The only things he could picture were Tyler's face and how he looked when he laughed. Beautiful and wide eyed, like he didn't care about much of anything. Maybe he didn't, and Josh kind of liked that. "Do you know where he is?"

Hayley smiled and jutted her head in the direction behind him.

Sure enough, when Josh turned to look behind him, Tyler was leaned against the door frame leading into the kitchen with a small side smirk on his face. When Josh turned to look back at Hayley, she had disappeared and he cursed her lovingly in his head. He turned back to see Tyler standing right at his side, head titled and his smile a bit bigger. "I was hoping you'd be here," he said softly.

Josh smiled back, trying to play off his nervousness. "You were?"

Tyler nodded taking Josh's bottle and downing the rest of it before taking his hands and pulling him to him. "Come dance with me," he said softly, invitingly.

Josh laughed. "I can't dance."

Tyler shrugged. "Me neither."

Josh allowed Tyler to lead him to the living room where there were actually loads of people dancing, swaying back and forth to the music filtering through the speakers. Josh really didn't know what he was doing, but he just followed Tyler's lead as he turned and put his back flush to Josh's chest. No one was paying them any mind, as they were all drunk or high and in their own worlds as Tyler started shamelessly grinding on Josh's front.

Josh didn't object or try to find a mold to fit into at this moment, just allowed himself to do what he thought was right. His hands found their way to Tyler's hips and he gripped tightly, his lips pressing to the shell of his ear when he dipped his head back and continued moving. He felt Tyler let out a pleasured sigh before turning around and pressing his chest against Josh's as he continued to sway.

Josh's hands never left Tyler's hips, his grip adjusting and readjusting to fit how Tyler was moving. After dancing for a while Tyler led Josh back to the kitchen to get another drink before leading him down the hall to the back room where they went last time. The room was much different than last time, however. There was a light azure hue to the room due to the switched light bulb in the fixture above their heads. The music continued to filter through to the back room as they fell onto the bed, Tyler falling into Josh's lap as both of them laughed gently.

There were a few other people in the room, but rather than buying joints from Tyler, this time they passed one to him and told him it was their payment from the last one he gave them. He nodded and fished for a lighter from his pocket, putting the spliff to his lips and igniting the end. Josh watched in fascination as he pushed the smoke out from his lips and in through his nostrils, holding it for a second and then blowing it straight passed his lips.

Tyler put the joint back in place between his lips and turned to look at Josh, who's eyes were still on the spliff. Tyler took it out and motioned it towards Josh who looked a bit apprehensive but nodded softly. Tyler leaned in slowly, as if to give Josh a chance to back out before the joint was between his lips and he was taking a small drag. He immediately coughed it out and Tyler laughed gently, patting his back. After Josh finished coughing he looked to Tyler with shy eyes, watching him smile back.

"Here," Tyler said before putting the joint between his lips and taking a small drag and inhaling it. Josh wondered what he was doing before his hand was under Josh's chin, guiding his mouth to his slowly. Once their lips were connected, Josh felt Tyler blow the smoke into his mouth, and when he inhaled this time it didn't hurt his throat or cause him any discomfort. When Tyler pulled away, he smiled softly. "Better?"

Josh blew the smoke out in a thin, steady stream before looking at Tyler with a confident smile. "Much better," he said softly. "But, uh.." He paused glancing back at Tyler's lips gently. "Can we try that again? Without the smoke this time?"

Tyler smiled widely, full row of teeth showing as he nodded, already touching his lips to Josh's. "Hell yeah, we can."

Josh immediately decided that he liked kissing Tyler. He also liked when Tyler shotgunned the marijuana smoke into his lungs, and he even liked the small rush that the high gave him. He never imagined getting high before, but he was positive he wouldn't have wanted it to go any other way than this. The two of them went through a whole joint together before heading back into the kitchen, where Josh immediately made eye contact with Brendon.

"Josh!" Brendon said happily, walking over to hug his best friend. "When did you get here?"

Josh smiled back at Brendon softly. "A couple hours ago, I think," he said, unsure as he let out a soft laugh. "Maybe longer, I don't know."

Brendon smiled wider as he squinted at Josh's eyes. "Joshua Dun," he started, "are you high?"

Josh didn't even try to hide it, smiling widely and nodding. "Very much so."

Brendon cheered before hugging Josh again. He pulled back abruptly and his look of happiness turned to one of excitement. "You've gotta smoke with me, now!"

"Unless you're shotgunning with him," Tyler cut in from beside Josh, "he'll cough his lungs out."

Brendon laughed loudly. "Oh man," he started. "I remember my first time, dude. It was about that bad, too. Fine, but tomorrow, you and I are going to practice hitting a joint. I gotta get back to Ryan, poor baby's so tired and just wants to cuddle me and go to sleep. Take care of him, Joseph. I'm counting on you."

"I got him, Bren," Tyler answered softly.

Brendon nodded, telling them goodnight before jogging off to his and Ryan's room.

Tyler looked at Josh with a soft smile. "What about you, Joshua?" He had one arm drape around Josh's shoulder as he looked up at him. "You about ready to fall asleep, too?"

Josh let his hands find Tyler's hips again, holding onto them gently. "Only if you're going with me."

Tyler bit his lip, smiling wider. "Couldn't think of anywhere better to be."