Alana didn't seem particularly thrilled about being on tour, but there was nothing I could do about it. Cherry was just happy to be with me. And honestly I was happy she was with me. I had kept Cherry off my Insta for the most part, but a couple days after everything was finalized I shared a selfie I took with her and announced that she was officially mine. I was too excited to keep it to myself, besides the fans would find out eventually. All of the comments were people saying congratulations and how cute she was and how they couldn't believe I had a kid. To be honest I couldn't believe it either.
"Alana, this is my brother Sebastian." I introduced her and she waved and smiled. "This is Daniel, our bass player and Andrew, our guitar player. Austin, the merchman, Matt the photographer." She waved at them all and pulled the sleeves of her sweater down over her hands. "Guys, this is Alana." After introductions she got in her bunk. Which is where she stayed and listened to music for most of the tour.
"And she's here because?" Sebastian asked. I cleared my throat and then smiled sheepishly.
"I'm fostering her." He nodded and sat down on the couch.

———

   The days went by as they always do on tour. Driving and set up, vip and concerts. Meeting the fans, taking pictures. All that good stuff. I tried to every day sit with Cherry and work on her letters, numbers, shapes and colors. I didn't have school books for her or anything, just picture books. Her favorites so far were Dr. Seuss's ABC's and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. I read both of them so many times I could recite from memory within just a few days. But they helped her recognize her letters.

———

   As always on tour everyone has limits and everyone else likes to push them as far as they can and then get upset when you get upset and push back. I usually did pretty good with keeping my temper under control, but what are siblings for if not to irritate you? As per fucking usual Sebastian and I got into a fight after a concert in the first two weeks of the tour.
   I don't even remember now what we were fighting about, but we'd both had a bit to drink and we'd gotten physical. Mostly just shoving with the occasional punch. Alana and Emerson were sitting at the table with their earbuds in ignoring us. All I really remember was yelling at him and him yelling at me and then Emerson yelling at both of us. Now, for those who don't know, Emerson doesn't get mad often so when he does you know it's serious.
"Shut the fuck up! Both of you!" He yelled, pulling his earbuds out. Shocked, Sebastian and I both stared at him. And then we started doing that childish he-started-it-no-he-did argument. "Shut up! Cherry is hiding under the table right now! Do you know why?" Neither of said anything. "She's scared of you." He pointed at me.
"What?" He gestured under the table. I crouched and what I saw hurt. She was sitting on the floor with her arms and legs wrapped around Emerson's leg.
"Stargazer." I reached out to touch her and shrieked.
"No huwt me! Pease!" She pushed herself further into the corner, still holding tight to Emerson. I looked up at Emerson and he gave his I-told-you-so look.
"Cherry I will never hurt you. You know that. Please. Come out from under the table. Please." She shook her head.
"No!"
"Please." I pleaded with her. I didn't know what to do. And so in my tipsy state of mind the most logical solution was to blame Sebastian and start fighting with him again. Which is exactly what I did. After we yelled at each other for another ten minutes Emerson yelled at us again and Sebastian went his bunk. I followed suit.
   Cherry slept with Emerson that night. I beat myself up about for a few hours before falling asleep.

———

   The next morning when I got up Emerson was already up. He was only wearing pajama pants, holding Cherry, who had her arms around his neck and wasn't looking at me, while he tried to make her a piece of toast.
"Cherry?" I asked around a yawn as I rubbed my eyes. She looked over at me and stuck her fingers in her mouth. "I'm sorry about last night." She looked away from me and I sighed. After trying and failing to get her attention I went to take a shower. After my shower I talked to Monica for a bit. She tried to cheer me and gave me some advice. When I went back to the front of the bus Emerson and Cherry weren't there. The only person there was Alana, who sitting at the table eating a yogurt cup. I made a cup of tea and joined her at the table.
"Agh, I fucked up." I rested my elbows on the table and put my head in my hands.
"She's just scared. If she's anything like the other foster kids I've met she comes from a bad background. Trust doesn't come easy." Alana said, not at looking me.
"I know she's scared. She's scared of me. I didn't mean to scare her." I took a drink of my tea. "Where did she and Emerson go?"
"His bunk." I nodded and took another drink. Then I stood and pulled the curtain back on Emerson's bunk. Emerson had gone back to sleep, but Cherry sitting beside him playing a game on his phone.
"Hey, Stargazer. Can I talk to you for a second?" She looked at me for a second.
"Otay." She said softly. I held my hands out to pick her up and she scooted closet to the edge of the bunk. I picked her up and pulled the curtain closed. I sat her in my bunk and then sat down facing her.
"I didn't mean to scare you, Stargazer. I was just upset with Sebastian, but I shouldn't have yelled."
"I's scawed you gonna huwt me like otha Deedee. Sowwy."
"Oh. No, Stargazer you don't have to be sorry. I'm sorry." She stuck her necklace in her mouth and started to hum. "Can I have a hug?" I asked her. She crawled over and sat down in my lap. We stayed that way for more than an hour, talking. There's nothing weirder than having a conversation with a four year old. But those conversations gave me memories that still make me smile.

Not my best. Sorry.

On another note would you guys be interested in a story about Sebastian and Larisa? I've got one in the works that I'm thinking of publishing soon. (Even though I already have three stories on the go).

Avery L.