hoseok focus
swinging his burgundy denim jacket over his shoulder and holding onto the yellow rose in his hand, hoseok walks into the nightclub hired by the committee of the gwangju illegal races and grins at all the females and males eying him up, recognising him. but although he flashes bright grins at them all, his attention is somewhere else completely. his attention focusing on a certain small boy who "makes both his heart and dick swell double the size".

his eyes hurriedly scan over the crowd, looking for yoongi but it's difficult to see someone as small his boyfriend so hoseok gives up within five seconds and instead runs a hand through his newly dyed orange hair.

turning to jimin by his sides, hoseok yells over the bass heavy music; "when's yoongi coming on?"

jimin checks his phone lockscreen and looks up, yelling, "fifteen minutes! you gonna go see him?"

nodding, hoseok pulls away from the boy and shoves a hand lazily into the pockets of his jeans before turning around to meet the group of 'fake fans' following him. these fake fans perk up immediately, sultry looks are applied on their faces as they show off their best assets — be it their butt or chest or tiny waist, hoseok is intrigued by neither.

still, he doesn't disappoint fans so rather than straight out tell them he's taken, he winks at a couple and fixates a playful grin on his face. "be right back, ladies and gentlemen!" he shouts over the music before making his way through the dancing crowd and ignoring the piles of sweaty bodies attacking him and the stench of sweet alcohol and sweat that assaults his sense of smell.

having left taehyung and jungkook back at the hotel (both of them had decided to nap after their bath and refused to wake up even after hoseok loudly sang twice's 'cheer up'), hoseok picks his way through the crowd alone, heading over to the conjoining corridor where several doors are set into the wall, all labelled with artists names on a whiteboard. it's not simple to just walk in and ask for an autograph thought — stocky bodyguards are situated around the opening of the corridor, all black suited and wearing strict looks on their faces.

hoseok strolls over to the one by the door assigned to 'suga' and grins, holding up a hand for a high five. the bodyguard who's incredibly familiar with hoseok's and yoongi's relationship (he's stood outside the door several times whilst they've had loud sex inside), rolls his eyes and slaps hoseok's hand away before moving to the side so the boy could access the door.

"ill keep it down today." hoseok sing songs, winking at the bodyguard who simply grunts out: "you got fifteen minutes tops. be quick."

hoseok grins harder as he enters yoongi's dressing room, filing in and immediately spotting yoongi standing by the large, open window, silently gazing out at the bright nightlife of gwangju with hazed eyes. hoseok smiles at the dazed boy shuddering in his thin clothes.

"babe?"

yoongi looks up at hoseok's voice, mumbling out a raspy "hey" as he makes his way towards hoseok. the younger opens his arms out for the small boy and wholly engulfs him when yoongi walks into his embrace and mumbles something like "so warm".

"and you're so cold — why're you standing by the window?" hoseok murmurs, resting his chin above yoongi's soft mop of hair.

"i needed to wake up and coffee's not cutting it for me. the cold air's sorta working." yoongi explains tiredly as he languidly points at the yellow rose in hoseok's hand, "this for me?"

"you know it is –– who else do i buy ugly yellow roses for?"

"yellow roses aren't ugly." yoongi argues as he takes the single flower from hoseok and rubs the pad of his thumb over one of the gloriously coloured petals.

"they're an eyesore." hoseok retorts.

"you're an eyesore."

"real mature, yoongi, real mature." hoseok rolls his eyes.

yoongi chuckles softly, "m'joking baby. thanks for the rose." he murmurs, giving hoseok a soft kiss on the cheek. hoseok smiles at the kiss and leans his head down to rest his forehead against yoongi's, humming out, "excited for your performance?"

"mm." yoongi murmurs, sounding uncommitted as he twirls the rose slowly in his hand. hoseok pulls away from the smaller, frowning at the boy's reaction. usually yoongi's hyped before a performance, hurriedly practicing his lines whilst sorting out his appearance out in the mirror with the fancy light bulbs lining the edge.

"what's wrong? you not feeling well?" hoseok queries, sounding concerned as he bends his knees slightly to come face to face with yoongi and examine his rather pasty complexion. growing a tad bit worried, he presses a hand to yoongi's forehead, attempting to check his temperature but yoongi pushes his hand away gently.

he shakes his head, sighing heavily. "im just worried about haneul."

"what do you mean?" hoseok questions, straightening up and frowning down at yoongi.

"earlier, when jungkook and taehyung were talking after the fight, haneul kept eyeing them up and she looked really curious — i dunno but, i think she'll try to do something." yoongi explains, exasperated, "i don't want her to break jungkook again, not when he's just moving on."

"mm," hoseok hums as he folds his arms over his chest, "knowing her, she'll try something but. . . yanno," hoseok grins, "taehyung and jungkook aren't as brittle as you think, yoongs. because even though taehyung looked scared shitless today and jungkook got angry yelled at him, the both of them ended up cuddling up to each other in the next hour."

"yeah?" yoongi sounds unconvinced.

"yeah," hoseok presses firmly, "whatever haneul does, im sure they'll power through it. and what makes you think jungkook'll let haneul go anywhere near taehyung? the kid's around taehyung 24/7." hoseok chuckles quietly.

"good point." yoongi comments, turning on the balls of his feet and walking towards his lit up dressing table. standing by the mirror, yoongi looks at hoseok through the mirror with a heavy sigh escaping from his pink mouth, "but—"

"yoongi, don't worry about them." hoseok cuts in, watching yoongi gnaw on the inside of his cheek as he sets the bright flower down on the oak table's surface.

"it's hard not to." yoongi replies, tugging the hood of his raincoat over his dark hair, "but whatever, i gotta prepare. are taekook so busy snuggling up to each other that they couldn't come to my stage?" yoongi asks dryly as he fixes the bright red raincoat settled on his shoulders. hoseok laughs in reply, indicating that yes, taekook is missing his fucking performance.

"damnit, i was really excited to show taehyung too — i feel like he'd enjoy it." yoongi mutters to himself as he examines his reflection.

a knock on the door makes them swivel their heads round to see the bodyguard from before poking his head through the door, muttering, "sorry to interrupt but sir, you're on in five."
with that, the bodyguard recoils away from the door, closing it behind him with a soft click.

"it's showtime." yoongi mumbles to himself as he grabs the microphone from the table and slots the earpiece hanging around his shoulder into his ear.

"ill record you on my phone and send it to them to watch later," hoseok grins, pushing off the wall he was leaning against so he could walk towards the door. whilst walking, he wishes his boyfriend: "good luck, babe. you're gonna kill it as always."

"as always." yoongi repeats, looking over his shoulder to see hoseok and smiling hard.

haneul focus
it's amazing how, at every night on day one of the three-day racing event, the basement of QUEEN'S HOTEL comes alive — left and right, scantily dressed people file into the large underground space excitedly and hurriedly pick up brightly coloured alcoholic drinks from the long stretch of a bar lining a wall. some choose to stay at the stylishly decorated bar and chat with the flirtatious bartenders and/or animatedly watch them perform tricks with the drinks. some choose to wander with friends onto the space cleared for socialising, dancing along to the loud music blaring out of the speakers connected to the dj, who stands on an elevated platform where his decks are situated conveniently, enthusiastically rocking along to the thump of the bass heavy tune.

the whole place is bathed in a soft red glow, making it horribly difficult to make sense of some objects but sharp eyed haneul can make out many tasteful aspects of the rather classy nightclub; the walls are rustic and unpainted red brick which create a laidback look many people enjoy, the bar is finely supplied with transparent glass cabinets holding up a ton of alcoholic beverages, the floor isn't tacky but expensive and glossy tiles and—

"haneul, are you listening?"
haneul's gaze snaps onto the pretty girl she had 'befriended' (more like complimented once, and somehow made the girl feel, i don't know? special? well, thinking she was now special to her, the girl now persistently trails after haneul like an irritating parasite) recently.

"sorry, what was that, honey?" haneul drawls, fixing a sweet but fake smile onto her delicate features as she simpers under her friend's gaze.

"jeez, where's your mind at? i asked you if you're excited for tonight's performance. suga's rapping." her friend mutters, rolling her eyes, and haneul finds herself having to physically restrain herself from curling her lip in distaste.
instead, she opts for an apologetic, slightly dazed young girl look, widening her eyes slightly and forming a small 'O' with her lips. "oh! yeah, super exciting. rap isn't exactly my sorta thing but these performances always get me hype."

"hm. ah, i forgot to ask you — is junghoonie okay? he looked pretty hurt earlier on." her friend asks, using that hideous nickname she's formed for him specially and suddenly biting her lip, looking all concerned for haneul's boyfriend — well, friend with benefits, but still.

haneul gives another false smile, "he's back in our room, relaxing and playing overwatch." she replies.

"but you're out here partying?" her friend tsks, shaking her head disapprovingly, "if i were you, id be waiting on junghoon and making sure to take care of him. he might need help."

"hm? well, it's a shame you're not me then." she responds curtly, eyes hardening and cutesy, innocent facade dropping completely. ive had enough of this trash.

her friend looks momentarily shocked at the look of contempt of haneul's face but she speedily regains herself and coughs out, "m'gonna g–go pick up a drink from the bar".

"okay." haneul shrugs, donning a satisfied little smirk as she looks away, uninterestedly glancing over at the stage constructed especially for the artists tonight.
now feeling much less crowded and irritated, haneul calmly takes a sip of the iced drink in her hand (offered to her by a group of pretty good looking boys) and spins round on her heels, walking into the busy throng of partygoers and not bothering to apologise when she steps on people's feet.

making sure her drink doesn't spill over her wine coloured leather jacket, haneul makes her way to the dj, climbing up the metal skeleton of a staircase leading up to his risen platform and smiling flirtatiously at the male.

"hi honey, mind if i stand here for a little while?" she hums in his ear when he takes off his clunky headphones, grinning blearily at her. he nods excitedly, not bothering to speak because he's too busy maniacally jerking his body to the beat and smiling like a high drug addict.

flipping her shorn black hair off of her shoulder, haneul smiles and walks to the thin railing surrounding the decks, leaning over the metal poles with her drink slightly sloshing around in her cup. there's a reason why she's conducted herself to stand at the dj's platform; the heightened space allows her to easily access the crowd below and let her hazel eyes drag over their faces, trying to identity one as a familiar redhead and her ex-boyfriend.

but it's to no avail — thousands of people crowd the basement space, all pushing and pulling into each other and the red soft glow doesn't make it easier. haneul doesn't let up though; she scans the people's blurred faces at the bar silently and tilts her head to glance at people who dance below her — really wanting to find out about this mysterious redhead and label the relationship he has with jungkook.

who is this guy and why did jungkook look so concerned about him earlier on? is he a family member? a friend? a boyfriend of jimin's? or is he kook's boyfriend? if he's his boyfriend then wow, kudos to you, jungkookie — you really did manage to move on and find someone else. how unexpected, she thinks, chuckling softly as she takes a sip of the sweet concoction in her glass.

and +5 points to jungkook for choosing a real looker, haneul muses, remembering back to the dispute between the jeon twins earlier at the quarry — she had noted taehyung's rather handsome presence after the racing proposition was made, when jungkook had stormed off and immediately headed over to the boy, speaking earnestly with him. whilst watching them converse with interest swirling inside her, she turned to one of junghoon's men and murmured, "find out about the redhead." the stoic man had nodded before moving away.

now waiting for the informant to get back to her, haneul takes her time to try and identify the male herself. only it seems that neither jungkook nor the redhead are here tonight — she easily spots their friends; hoseok and jimin had just entered the club with an entourage following after them, and she knows yoongi the performer is here, but where is jungkook and that guy?

sighing in, perhaps, defeat, she half heartedly watches people in black uniform hurry all over the impressive stage, fixing up equipment pieces in the last minute before showtime. the stage constructed especially for tonight's artists is spacious and large, big enough for the singers and rappers to move about freely and interact with the audience should they wish to.

haneul taps her manicured red nail against the glass in her hand, the tinny tapping noise drowned out by the r&b music pouring into the nightclub's atmosphere. suddenly though, the aforementioned music is cut off then, disarraying the ditzy clubbers who all crane their necks to look at the back of the club where the dj is situated and where haneul stands, confused herself. she turns around to see the dj lifting a microphone to his wide mouth; "y'all put your hands together for the almighty suga!" he yells, elongating the word 'suga' and punctuating yoongi's stage name with a happy fist pump into the air.

haneul raises an unimpressed brow at this before turning around to look back at the dance floor where the audience breaks out in a frenzy, all swivelling their head round just in time to see white tendrils of smoke caress the stage floor, creating an ethereal and solemn appearance.

as soon as the start of the song, a steady roll of drums, sounds, the audience gives a fresh new wave of excitement; screaming and rushing to crowd the stage when a popular figure rises from the middle of the floor and mutters "suga" into the microphone, utterly unfazed by the crowd's searing volume.

haneul rests her elbow on the railing and cups her cheek, smirking at yoongi who lifts his hands in the air, beckoning for the crowd to scream some more. you can't see his face (it's shrouded by the oversized hood of the red raincoat he wears alongside black ripped jeans, a black shirt which is accessorised lazily with a couple of thin gold chains) but you know he's smirking at the roar of his audience.

blinding white strobe lights fly around eagerly over yoongi's and the crowd's heads, adding just the tiniest bit more of excitement with its quick movement.

haneul starts cheering when yoongi brings the black microphone to his mouth, wets his lips and starts up a rapid fire rap that meshes well with his soundtrack, causing the people to scream loudly once again. now she and yoongi might have enmity between them ever since she first started dating jungkook, but she can't deny the fact that yoongi's performance are highly entertaining and his enormous stage presence is just incredible.

her admiration for yoongi's talent gets abruptly halted when her phone vibrates against her side. looking down and pulling out her phone from her pocket, she swipes right at the notification sent to her by her informant. her lips quirk upwards as she patiently waits for the message to load.

YOU HAVE ONE MESSAGE FROM 'K'
OPEN MESSAGE?

YES | NO

K: from what ive gathered from the hotel's room service (i had to threaten and kill someone — might wanna do something about that), they're "a pretty loved up, young couple."
K: i also found this interesting link.
K: [attached weblink]

curious, haneul clicks on the weblink and sips at her drink as she waits for the webpage to load. seconds later the screen loads to reveal a news article's bold headline and starring photograph, a photograph which makes haneul's eyebrows raise in surprise as she stares at the pixelated image.
"oh wow, kookie."

LOADING . . .

+
[THE NEXT MORNING]

taehyung focus
"so what's on today's agenda?" taehyung asks excitedly as he slips into a free seat at the dining table.

"m'glad one of us is cheery." yoongi mutters under his breath as he paves butter onto a piece of perfectly browned toast. hoseok hums in agreement, halfheartedly massaging his forehead. jimin, sitting by taehyung, gives up with breakfast and just lets his head drop onto the glass table, creating a dull thud.

taehyung frowns at the state of his hyungs, "what up with all of you?" he asks lightly as he helps himself to pieces of toast piled high onto a plate.

jimin, body still slumped forward, mumbles out; "whilst you stayed in like a smart kid, us hyungs were out getting shitfaced and partying like crazy." jimin drawls tiredly before narrowing his eyes at something on taehyung's neck. "though it looks like you and kookie had a little party yourself."

taehyung stops mid-chew at jimin's words, looking at him confusedly. "huh?"

"you got a hickey on your neck."

taehyung freezes completely. because jimin's totally right: there's a purpling bruise the size of a penny marring his warm tone skin, located just below his jaw and looking utterly eye catching to the intrigued hyungs who grin at him.
this hickey caused by none other than the one and only, jeon jungkook.

"the real question here is what base they got to." a sleepy yoongi points out, lazily prodding the butter knife at a startled taehyung who discreetly glances over his shoulder, thinking about escaping from the smirking hyungs.

yoongi seems to have other plans in mind. waving the butter knife in front of taehyung, yoongi slyly asks the following, eyes lidded but glinting shamelessly with curiosity; "so taehyung-ah, tell me what base you two got on to. jungkook's always been stingy on letting out his sex life details."

"that because i believe sex is a private thing that's done between only me and my partner." jungkook smoothly states as he walks into the kitchen and passes by the table where they're all sat at, blinking at him blankly. "meaning that, unlike you, hyung, no one needs to know what we do except taehyung and i."

"what do you mean by 'unlike you, hyung'?" yoongi retorts, "for your information, im very protective about my sex life."

in the process of raiding the refrigerator, jungkook snorts at yoongi's comment, looking up and quirking an eyebrow. "hyung, you told jiminie hyung that you like to rile up hoseok hyung and make him mad during sex. and hoseok hyung here, told me he has a secret cross dressing kink ever since you wore that maid outfit last halloween."

"is that why you keep bringing up your exes during sex? to get me pissed off?" an incredulous hoseok asks yoongi, brows drawing together in disbelief.

"is that why you kept that maid costume in the back of our wardrobe?" yoongi asks slowly, tired eyes widening in realisation.

cue yoonseok to publicly argue about their kinks.

"oh my god, you two are horrible at keeping your sex life to yourself." jimin chuckles tiredly, lifting his head up off the table and biting into a piece of toast with a grin on his face.

"horrible." jungkook repeats, laughing and agreeing with jimin.

taehyung's just too mortified to make a comment so he sits there, awkwardly heating up like crazy and glowing a bright shade of red as he gulps down mouthfuls of orange juice. in the peripheral of his gaze, an embarrassed taehyung notices jungkook shooting him a small smile as he pulls out a milk carton from the fridge — now, normally, taehyung'd flash a friendly smile right back but today, the older, feeling incredibly shy after last night's deeds, looks away and hurriedly gnaws at his crunchy toast. jungkook looks away to pour milk into his bowl of prepared rice kripsies whilst smiling knowingly about taehyung's change in behaviour.

+

they're under the lush foliage surrounding QUEEN'S HOTEL, lying beneath the multiple evergreen trees and gazing up at the sight of sunlight poking through the dozen branches interlocking with each other, creating a mosaic effect consisting of bright yellows, greens and browns. the october air surrounding them is chilly but kitted out in thick hoodies, jeans and socks, they're willing to stay out here for a little while longer and brave the cold.

lying besides taehyung on the ice cold bonnet of the jeep, jungkook smokes the last of his cigarette, staring up at the trees and thinking; beautiful. beautiful is what jungkook thinks. beautiful is what jungkook thinks of the accumulating moments spent with taehyung. beautiful is what jungkook thinks every time he looks at his boyfriend — every time the boy speaks, laughs, frowns, cries. taehyung's just so incredibly beautiful, he concludes as he tilts his head down slightly to look at the said boy sleeping peacefully on his left bicep.

flecks of gold and amber seem to embed themselves into his skin, making his tan skin tone all the more attractive as he lies there with jungkook on the bonnet of the jeep, under the warm october sunlight. his thick, dark lashes line his closed eyelids prettily and his red hair falls delicately over his eyes, tickling his eyelids. his pink mouth is parted slightly and jungkook can hear the boy inhaling and exhaling deeply, indicating that he was fast asleep.

so fucking beautiful, jungkook thinks one more time as he looks away to stub out his lit cigarette on the gleaming paintwork of the jeep. crushing the flame and marring the dark green coat of the jeep with a small burn mark, jungkook drops the cigarette butt into the now empty plastic container — the container originally holding up shop bought strawberries which were hurriedly demolished by the two lovestruck boys. the ridiculously tasty strawberries have tinted jungkook's lips a soft rosy shade of pink also similarly painting his fingertips after eating the fruit with taehyung earlier and spending his time aimlessly chatting about the most randomest of topics.

disposing his cigarette, jungkook turns to look back at taehyung and in the midst of internally cooing at how well the boy slept (like a little prince), he tilts his head down slightly to press the utmost softest kiss on taehyung's parted lips, tasting strawberries and cigarette smoke. he pulls away seconds later, aiming to not wake the boy up from his seemingly deep slumber.

sighing contentedly, jungkook gazes up at the patches of the sky peeping through the branches and smiles to himself, feeling utterly relaxed and calm; something he hasn't felt much the past year.

finding how the majestic evergreen trees surrounding them remain laden with emerald coloured leaves even in the autumn season when usually its time to see toned down reds and burnt oranges litter the ground below, jungkook's peaceful thoughts are abruptly halted when his phone rings, the loud, dissonant chime alerting jungkook about an oncoming call. hurrying to not startle taehyung awake from his nap, jungkook swipes right with his thumb, answering the call without taking a glance at the contact name displayed on his screen.
"hello?"

"it's been nearly two months, kook. i told you to take your time but damn, i didn't think you'd take this long. what's up? is there a problem? is kim acting difficult? did you get hurt? you haven't been updating me recently."

jungkook, who's been blatantly avoiding namjoon these days, is stunned at the audio of his hyung's sudden grainy voice on the other side of the phone and gulps hard, removing the device from his ear so he could read the caller id imprinted on the screen of his phone.
it's hyung, jungkook thinks, reading the contact name with a repressed sigh.

"uh. nuh–no, nothing's wrong." jungkook coughs out as soon as he presses his phone against his ear again.

"are you sure? you took a lot of seconds just there to answer me back so simply." namjoon muses out loud.

"im just a little busy that's all." jungkook hurriedly replies, clearing his throat when his voice awkwardly breaks midway his words.

"if nothing's wrong then where's kim? where are you? also, there's been a slight change of plans; don't come down to the arranged meeting place, that's way too far away from me at the moment — come directly down to gwangju—." namjoon stops abruptly to talk to someone behind the phone in a foreign language jungkook cant make out. waiting for his hyung to finish talking to someone on the other side of the phone, an agitated jungkook bites his lower lip, stressing out slightly as he does so.

"right, where was i? yeah, okay, come down to gwangju. we'll meet up at QUEEN'S and exchange the money and kim, alright? i need the kid whilst he's still racking up headlines and worrying his family's business. you know how these superficial families work; if something fucks up their business profits, then they'll do anything to sort it out. so make your way down to gwangju—"

"uhm. . . im actually at QUEEN'S already. with taehyung, hoseok, jimin and yoongi. ive been here for about. . ." jungkook holds his breath, "two days."

"what? why didn't you tell me before? i could've easily made my way there and met up with you. god, kook, what're you doing?" jungkook doesn't reply to namjoon's exasperated question. "fine, whatever. it's okay. ill be at QUEEN'S the day after tomorrow — we'll meet up and talk."

no.

no no no no.

say something, jungkook, before he decides to come down here and take taehyung away. "uh, hyung, there's a tiny complication—"

"look, jungkook-ah, if it's a tiny complication, then surely it can wait until we meet? im sorta busy here what with going through all these motherfucking security checks at the airport."

"y–yeah. um, okay, we can talk when you arrive."
wait, no—

"alright, see you in a bit, jungkook. take care of kim for me."
shit.

internally groaning at his weak attempt to talk to his hyung about his and taehyung's new relationship, jungkook sighs and mumbles a short "see you soon. have a safe flight here" before cutting the call and sighing heavily. he looks back up at the evergreen trees and suddenly they don't look so majestic to him. they're no longer just trees — they're tall beasts that loom over and seemingly entwine their hands over and  around jungkook, entrapping the panicked boy and closing off any possible escape route.

the reason why jungkook's so definite on the idea of namjoon taking taehyung away is because he knows his hyung won't take the idea of him falling in love with his captive warmly. as the renowned leader of south korea's largest underground group, namjoon has specific ideals set for his seemingly perfect men. one of the many ideals being an incredibly taboo one; do NOT fall in love with your captive. falling in love with your captive is considered a bad thing in the criminal world. and namjoon, a respected higher up, can't let (even if he or she is a close friend) a person who's fallen to that ideal, stay in his group for the following reasons.

1. it sets a hideous example to his other subordinates.
2. it's disrespectful to him — the rules he's given have been broken and the person who's in the wrong will have to face certain consequences.
3. also falling in love = weaknesses and distractions, and that weakness/distraction could be targeted specifically by rivalling groups or enemies — making the couple an obstacle to namjoon's job.

because jungkook's one of namjoon's favourite men, the penalty for falling in love with taehyung is him perhaps getting roughened up by the second in commands and simply losing his place in namjoon's gang, which isn't a problem for him 'cause he's got money safely stacked up in the bank but what worries him is what'll happen to taehyung.

if taehyung and jungkook weren't dating and if taehyung didn't know jungkook's identity, namjoon'd probably bruise up taehyung, maybe break a limb, and then send him back to his family after receiving extortion money. but because taehyung and jungkook are together and because taehyung knows jungkook's identity, he'll mostly likely be killed. perhaps in a merciful way if jungkook pleads.

so keeping the above point in mind, jungkook frets over taehyung and namjoon frequently in the next two days, panicking about what he'll have to do.
hyung's gonna come and take taehyung away, a powerless jungkook ducks his head, reaching up with a hand to claw at his dark hair, frustratedly tugging at his thick locks.

no. no, hyung, you can't take my happiness away after only just finding it. that's too cruel, hyung, too cruel. i, i c–can't go back to how i was, i can't go back to hating myself, to distancing friends, to drinking and smoking away precious hours–– i cant. i want to, no, need to stay with taehyung. i don't wanna leave his side. i dont want to.

i don't want to become alone again.
jungkook feels sick.

i don't wanna lose a loved one again. (ive lost both my parents, junghoonie and haneul — isn't that enough already?) don't let me lose another.
jungkook now feels really, truly sick—

"jungkook?" taehyung.
taehyung's voice breaks him out of his suffocating thoughts, shocking him into tearing his widened eyes away from the evergreen trees to look down at taehyung. his taehyung who looks effortlessly beautiful lying there on his arm with his soft red hair sticking up in tufts and smiling lazily at jungkook, completely oblivious to the younger's heavy heart and desperate thoughts.

"what're you thinking about?" he yawns out before nuzzling into jungkook's side and playfully swinging his leg over the younger's body — absolutely latching onto him like a kid would do to its mother. the simple feeling of taehyung (literally) grounding him down pulls a panicking jungkook back to the present moment, pulling him away from his rather hurtful past and the painful memories consisting of his parent's and junghoon's presence.

noticing jungkook's lack of answer, taehyung dismisses the boy's silent reply and wordlessly wraps his arm closer around him before burying his face into his shoulder, receiving his daily dose of jungkook's scent (something that he's become freakishly obsessed with recently) ((literally anytime of the day, you'll find taehyung burying his face into the junction where jungkook's shoulder meets with his neck, sniffing his boyfriend like a crazed scent-aholic)) (((if there's such a thing))).

"you're freezing." he mumbles out. jungkook, recovering from the feeling of sickness coursing throughout his entire body, breathes out heavily and mumbles "yeah" against taehyung's coloured mop of hair, closing his eyelids and trying to enjoy the other's, his happiness's, warmth. just now, it feels like the older's pushed past the locked branches that curl around and suffocate jungkook — creating a wide enough passage for him to crawl through and free him from his own thoughts.

"hey, bun?" realising just how much he needed taehyung to touch him to awaken him, jungkook mumbled the aforementioned quietly as he curls his arms around taehyung's waist, firmly holding onto the boy's lithe frame.

"mm?" taehyung hums, smiling against his boyfriend's shoulder at the nickname jungkook's adopted especially for him.

"just wanted to say i love you."

"w–what?" a startled taehyung pulls away slightly to stare up at jungkook, "y–you, you can't just suddenly drop that bombshell on me!" he exclaims, "i, i have to be ready when you say that!!"

jungkook confusedly chuckles, getting distracted from the miserable dark cloud that hands over the future of their relationship. "what do you mean 'ready'? you don't need to be ready to say i love you, just say it if you feel it, tae."

"just–just, i have to be ready, okay?? saying those three words is a big thing, it's something precious and totally special! you can just go around flinging it at me and expect me to say it back so easily," taehyung whines, embarrassed by how inexperienced and extra he's being, "that sorta stuff makes me shy so you gotta give me a heads up, jungkook!"

jungkook, now full on laughing, gently pushes taehyung's too long fringe out of his distressed brown eyes, totally disbelieving the boy's demand to give him a 'heads up' when he wants to tell him he loves him.

"alright, alright, baby." jungkook chokes out, struggling to hold back his laughter after seeing taehyung frown (rather cutely) at him laughing. "am i allowed to say the three words now or do i need to give you a five minute break? or maybe a ten minute break would suffice?"

taehyung, growing beet red with embarrassment, shakes his head, mumbling, "no. m'ready now."

"okay." grinning, jungkook leans in closer to an increasingly hot taehyung and whispers, "i love you, taehyung."

taehyung reddens and mumbles out "i love you more" as he fidgets nervously, refusing to meet the younger's eyes.

"that's not possible." jungkook hums in reply, taking one of taehyung's fidgeting hands and lifting it slightly up into the air above them. smiling, he presses their cold palms against each other and locks their hands in place by entwining their fingers.

"yes, it is possible," taehyung murmurs, squeezing jungkook's hand, "my feelings are proof."

"oh?" jungkook arches an eyebrow. "then what about my feelings?" taehyung chuckles quietly as they both gaze at their interlocked hands hovering in midair.

things like taehyung glowing crimson with embarrassment, taehyung's warm hugs, saying 'i love you' one more time, holding hands together; this is all what jungkook lives for. these small moments, feelings, expressions — they all make jungkook's heart swell, making him momentarily forget about the thought of namjoon forcibly taking taehyung away. only thinking about his boyfriend before him, a consoled jungkook gives taehyung's hand a small squeeze and starts up a meaningless conversation with the older joining in brightly and smiling widely at him.

smiling back at taehyung as he listens to him attentively, jungkook decides to ignore namjoon for the day — spend every moment you have with taehyung today and fix up a fucking solution for namjoon hyung tomorrow. it's not about haneul, junghoon, the media, the police or namjoon — for now, it's all about taehyung and i.