"Ah, no, definitely not. I'm just- no. " Sirius yelped, covering his eyes and nearly dropping his phone. He and Remus were out for dinner once more, and he'd gotten a notification on his phone from an unknown number, and he being the curious person he is, opened it straight away, but he quickly wished he hadn't.
"Hm? What's wrong?" Remus looked up from his three slices of pizza -Sirius had been able to convince him to eat lots- worriedly. Sirius' facial features (not including his eyes of because they were still covered by his hand) were now distorted in a horrible and somewhat traumatized way.
Sirius silently pushed his phone towards the concerned friend, although he very secretly wished for more, with his eyes screwed tight.
"OK, never mind. Er, I changed my mind. I kinda don't wanna see that at all." What's funny though, is that you'd never really see two 21 year olds act so terrified because of a titty pic.
"I thought you'd be OK with it! You've seen breasts and are like... Down for them, I believe." Sirius rambled, pausing for a few seconds to think for the rest of his sentence.
"Do you think I want to see that right now? I don't even think..." Remus' breath caught in his throat, like a fly in a web. He was letting his tongue do the dirty work, and was hardly thinking, so perhaps what he was about to say was just a trick of the mind. Yes, that was it. He certainly didn't crave rough actions, hairy legs and prominent Adam's apples at all. He knew this, for sure. But then why was he thinking so hard about them? This was too confusing and Remus didn't want to make Sirius confused, so he carried on with what he was saying.
"Just, I'm eating, at the moment. She said she was meant to send that to her boyfriend, did you not catch that? She did write it in all caps." It was a wonder that no one else could hear them, because although they weren't being the loudest, they, for sure, were not being the quietest.
"Oh, did she? Good. I don't even like looking at random people's dick pics."
"People have tried to?" Remus raised an eyebrow. It wasn't everyday that someone texts you with a dick pic by accident.
"I didn't tell you that time I signed up to a dating app, did I?" Sirius smiled, a fantastic story he knew he forgot to tell Remus springing to his mind.
"Um, apparently not? I thought we were friends Sirius!" Remus said, faux disappointment clear in his last dramatic sentence. He very abruptly went back to his normal voice, "Seriously though, how have you not told me this?"
"When you left me for the weekend to go to this new, rising author's event in Surrey. I was bored so I just signed up in hope for some lurve. Never happened. An event I like to call 'Flyswatter' occurred instead."
"Is this storytime with Sirius? Ooh, this is going to be fun! Disappointed that this isn't the appropriate time to start sipping tea though, have to admit." Remus instead brought his lips to his glass filled with water, yes, water. Not some fizzy drink concoction Sirius had made consisting of eight different drinks, one of them being their joint favourite Vanilla Coke. Remus was convinced that his best friend was still a six year old child at heart.
"Sometimes I think you're the gay one."
Remus, needless to say, turned a light shade, that Sirius would like to see on a jumper, of pink.
"Get on with your story, will you?"

"On one boring and lifeless Saturday," Sirius began in a voice that you'd hear if you were to listen somebody voicing the start of a children's book involving princesses and shit. Don't ask how I know that, because I don't. Definitely. Why would I? Heheh...
"Sirius Black was feeling atrociously bored because the only wonderful person who makes his day feel brighter than it actually is, had went on a trip for some authoring shit, which he, if he forgets to mention, was very proud of how said person is getting on with his writing. Clap, clap for him. And..... We're getting off track aren't we?" He cleared his his throat, "So, cutting to the main bit, he was bored and made himself a dating account within five minutes so it was pretty bad. His name on it was even 'Family Disappointment'. He scrolled on it for ten minutes until someone messaged him. Completely unsuspecting, Sirius was delighted and opened it, only to be greeted by a fellow cock. Below the horrifying picture which Sirius truly tried to ignore, a flirtatious comment of 'hey, daddy *insert tongue and eggplant emoji*' was typed too, causing Sirius to wrinkle his nose. He did not like this man's ways. He decided to check his profile, and learnt that his name was Bryant, a 33 year old man, who was texting him; a then twenty year old kiddie. Insane, right? Sirius was baffled, but thought it would be a good idea to have a little fun. It would make his day much more interest, right?"

Sirius continued on for a good half hour, telling Remus all about how he had pretended to work in a mansion for a rich family as a flyswatter. He'd told him that he convinced the man that he had to do this wearing only rainbow speedos with tassels on both the front and back (Bryant obviously made comments on how he would love to see on Family Disappointment in those). Remus was beginning to suspect that Sirius was pulling his leg by the time he got to the bit where he supposedly told Bryant that he made penis balloons and had to pleasure the mistress of the house with them, but he saw the messages that Sirius screenshotted, and was forced to believe him. By the end of it, Sirius was flushed in the face and wondering how else he could've ended his conversation with Bryant instead of pretending to send him his e-mail with the @YourAFuckingSicko.I'm Twenty.Com as his '@'.

"I'm actually annoyed that I went without that story for so long. When I have children and I finally let them have social media, I'm telling them that just to raise awareness. You and I will share children, so you can chip in too." Remus hardly realised what he said until exactly three seconds later, when Sirius smiled ever so sweetly. Yet still, he didn't want to tweak what he said. He just smiled too.

"I really want to take an Instagram photo here." Remus looked down the cliff where he, Sirius and Charley -the black Range Rover- were. The view was enticing, the pinpricks of light from the many houses below very bright in the near black sky. You could still see trees and bushes below too, logs and leaves everywhere.
"Holy fuck, that's gorgeous." Sirius breathed and sat down behind Remus, who was now being very cautious as he swept his knees over.
"I... I well, need your legs in the photo too because... Fuck, well, they're aesthetically pleasing and people could look at them for days and just... Argh, will you?" Remus stuttered, extremely awkward and embarrassed. Sirius tried his hardest not to smile too widely, but he didn't know if he succeeded or not.
"I would love to, my kind sir."
Sirius did the same as Remus and sat beside him, having to be really close so he would be in the shot too.
"That's how you know when you've found a millennial. They'll do anything for the Insta. Just anything." Remus laughed as he snapped a few photos so he could pick the best one and post it.
"And what's so bad about that, huh?"
"One wrong move and we could fall to our deaths." Remus said, looking down again but the fondness no longer there, he just shrugged, his face unreadable.
"Better get you to move then." Sirius shuffled back, pulling the shoulder of Remus' especially long shirt too to gain his attention. Remus followed, but stood up to fetch a book from his bag. He sat down next to Sirius and opened the first page of his book. He'd read two books already on this trip and he was rather proud of himself, because not only could he read in fresh air, his eyes were happy because they didn't have to be in the near pitch black anymore. Sirius rested his head on the taller one's shoulder, to do so he had to move a little more closer, and read along with him. Both read at roughly the same speed, so Remus could flick to the next page at his free will, but if Sirius did need to time to catch up, he would just gently press it back down, making Remus smile delicately.

"Freedom? That's such a strange thing if you think about it." Sirius said, breaking the silence that had been going on for some time now. Freedom was a big part of the book, so it was constantly cropping up. Remus tilted his head, marked his page with the ribbon that was flying in the cool breeze, and closed it with a quiet snap.
"You're right. I mean, in my opinion anyways." He admitted.
"You're never actually free. You're always going to be planted to the ground, never free free. The world's just too cruel for that to ever possibly happen, as sad as it may sounds." Remus had never heard Sirius look so deep in to a word before, but once he did, it made you think. Hard.
"We're judgmental bastards, quite frankly." Remus smiled, but there was no humour in it at all. Just sad, truthful shit.
"Technically, yes. If you think about it hard enough, so much makes absolutely no fucking sense. Seriously. Just think!"
"Love?" Remus mumbled, in was so inaudible that even Sirius couldn't hear.
"What?"
"Love. What about that? Does it even exist?" Remus swallowed, he forced himself to look in to Sirius' eyes. The silver coins.
"It has to. Somewhere at least. It's just... Not very common. You'll be lucky if you find it. You can only fully love one person, if you know what I mean. You can marry and think you love somebody, but they weren't exactly made for you. Still, it's definitely a tricky thing. But then again, what do I know? I'm a mindless 21 year old."
It just seemed so right. Like it had to be done. Not forcefully, but just because it was so clear. Remus' fingers grazed Sirius' cheek bones. The space between them becoming increasingly smaller. Kisses are often described with sparks flying, but in this case, memories were flying. It was short and sweet, and when they broke after five seconds, both didn't feel the need to hide their grins, cheesy and all. Sirius put a hand on Remus' shoulder and reconnected their lips, purposely driving Remus mad with his passion, smiles evidently on them. Being semi annoyed of his shortness, Sirius put his legs on either side of the boy-who-he-was-kissing and stood on his knees, giving him the extra height he needed. Remus' fingers found their way in to Sirius' crowned glory, and damn, it looks like his lavender shampoo was doing him some wonders. He could feel their breaths mingling, and he found the contact with Sirius so comforting. He was in the present, the past no longer making him shy and nervous to get romantic with anyone, because he knew they would forget him or simply find someone better. It was perfect. Both desire and lust dripping from both lips as they moved in sync.
"Was that spur of the moment or...?" Sirius asked breathlessly.
I hope it wasn't. But there's one thing I'm definitely sure of. I'm not straight for sure. Oh my god..."

hehe, said i'd make it up for the last one. um, so before we talk about my shitty kiss writing, can we talk about bryant? like, honestly, i tried to make sirius' story with him funny for dat lil bit of humour but i'm more confused how i managed to pull out of my noggin. ok, so now for my shitty kiss writing. don't ask me. i haven't even had my first kiss yet so i have to judge on what i've read. lol, single life. just kidding, i'm crying.
see you next millennium.