This chapter is dedicated gabbyxnicole - thanks for your support :)

29 – Heart to Hearts

Rena's POV

I don't know how long I sit alone in the dark, but at some point, the door opens and a familiar face pokes his head in.

"Hey."

I squint, making sure it's really him before leaning back against the wall with a sigh. "What are you doing here, Doc?" Secretly, I'm thrilled to see him.

"Sam called." His thumb hits the light switch and I pull the blanket over my head when the sudden brightness of the florescent light stings my eyes. "He said you had a panic attack and I should come over as soon as possible."

"Total meltdown is more like it." I keep my face covered, too embarrassed to look at him. "I made a total fool out of myself."

"I don't think that's true." He lowers himself on the floor next to me. "You wanna talk about it?"

Not really, but I know him well enough to realize he won't go away until I at least made an effort. "Ryan scared me and I lost it. End of story."

"Hmm." There's a moment of silence. "I think there was more to it."

I hear him rummaging through his pockets and pull out something, the crunching of a candy wrapper making me grin in my hiding place.

"Want some chocolate?"

The offer is tempting—he knows that bribing me with sweets usually draws me out of my defensive.

I peek at him from underneath the blanket. "What kind is it?"

"Snickers."

Of course he got me my favorite. "What do I have to do to get it?"

"What makes you think you have to do anything? I could have bought the candy out of the goodness of my heart."

This almost makes me laugh. "You don't do anything out of the goodness of your heart." I fully pull the blanket off my head to get a good look at him. "You're mean that way."

"It's scary how well you know me." He searches my face with raised eyebrows. "What happened to you? You got a big bruise on your cheek."

"I got into a fight."

His eyebrows arch higher. "With Ryan?"

"No, with this girl. Marcus set me up."

He breaks eye contact, a muscle twitching in his cheek. He usually is not one to judge and takes accusations like this with a grain of salt.

"Why don't you tell me what happened with Ryan?"

I stretch out my hand. "Candy bar first."

He surrenders my treat with a small smile. "I want details."

"I get that." I tear the wrapper open and take a small bite. The chocolate melts on my tongue and I suckle on one of the peanuts, temporarily fading out my surrounding. This candy bar is good. Before I give him what he wants, I take another bite, purposely taking my time to roll the chocolate in my mouth. When I swallow, I actually feel better.

"So Ryan showed me these baby pictures of Brent and claimed that Brent made all the abuse stuff up. Ryan claimed he was a model father and the abuse was a figment of Brent's imagination." I swallow down the lump in my throat when I remember Ryan's eyes. "Total bullshit, if you ask me."

His head bobs up and down, a sign that he is listening. "But that wasn't what caused the panic attack."

It's a statement—not a question—and I almost blurt out "no shit, Sherlock." "No, that wasn't it."

He allows for a few more bites of my candy bar before he continues to probe. "What was the trigger, Rena?"

I decide to stop playing games, sooner or later, he'll get the truth out of me anyhow. "He got really angry and his eyes were just like Brent's before he beat me. I guess I got scared."

"That's totally understandable."

My head drops and I bury my face against my knees. "It has been almost two years, Doc. When will it stop?" Tears rise again. "When will I be able to look at a man again without imagining how he'll hurt me?"

"I honestly don't know. Everyone heals in their own time. You've been under a lot of stress lately, so getting upset over small things it totally natural."

I keep my face hidden when wetness settles in my eyes. "I'm scared I'm gonna crack up in here. You have to get me out."

"I'm not sure if I can." He shifts positions, the floor can't be the most comfortable spot to have a heart to heart. "Look, the hearing is set for Monday. That's the earliest court date Noel could get, considering that Charlotte is in the hospital."

My head snaps up. "What happened to her?"

"She was mugged."

My head falls back down—that's total bullshit.

"I know it's four more days, but there's nothing I can do before then. You have to hang in there."

That's easy for him to say. He doesn't have to be in this hellhole.

"Rena, look at me."

I slowly raise my head—the concern in his eyes is balm for my soul. We have had our ups and downs, but ever since I met him, he has given me this odd sense of security.

"Sam wants to put you in solitary—he thinks it's better for you. In order to do that, I have to give a medical diagnosis that there's a risk of self-harm. How do you feel about that?"

Suicide watch means 24/7 surveillance, but the girl and her minions are waiting for me back in general population. It's a screwed up situation either way. I chew the inside of my cheek until the biting taste of metal floods my mouth. "I guess solitary is okay."

"Fine. I'll get the paperwork started and Sam will take you over. I'll stop by tomorrow and check on you."

My smile is feeble at best. "Thanks, Doc."

With a small grunt, he heaves himself up and I smirk—is he getting rusty there? I notice the fine lines around his eyes and a few silver streaks in his hair that weren't there before.

"Good night, Rena." His face is tense when he spins around to leave—this is taking a toll on him, too.

It doesn't take long before Sam reappears. "I have to take you over now."

I slowly rise. My jumpsuit has dried, but I still fell incredible filthy "Can I still take a shower?"

"Sure."

I flinch when his hand comes to rest on the small of my back and he pulls away as if he touched the top of a hot stove.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles under his breath.

That was stupid—he must think I'm a total nutcase.

Half an hour later, I'm alone in a small cell. The shower wasn't much of a relief and to add insult to injury, they dressed me in paper overalls—the new standard issue for inmates on suicide watch.

I stare at the ceiling, the small light that never goes off covering the cell in a dim light. My eyes turn to the camera which records my every move. I feel lost and abandoned—the imagination of spending years behind bars giving me the chills. Biting back the tears, I turn to my side and pull the blanket closer around me. My eyelids twitch when sleep descends upon me until my body finally surrenders to utter exhaustion.

~~~~

A loud scream wakes me up. My body is covered in a layer of sweat and every muscle aches from tension. I run my fingers through my hair, scared to close my eyes again. The last thing I remember was a cigarette burning into my skin while Brent's vicious eyes glowed with satisfaction. Come to think of it—it could have been Ryan's eyes. Truthfully, I can't tell the difference anymore.

The key in the door turns and Sam's frame appears on the threshold. My head returns to the pillow. I don't want to talk to him. Maybe if I pretend that I'm going back to sleep, he will take a hike.

He steps into the cell, closing the door behind him. I hug my knees and turn my back to him—he shouldn't be in here that late at night on his own. Either ignoring or not noticing my discomfort, he walks over to the cod and squats next to me.

"Are you okay, Rena?"

"Uhum,"

"You screamed."

"So?" With a long sigh, I shift on the bed. "I had a nightmare. No big deal."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I almost snap at him, but don't need another enemy. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Oh, I think there is."

I turn around and glare at him. "What do you want from me, Sam?"

"I want you to make me understand. Things were going well for you, so what made you decide to risk it all and hide your son?"

"I'm trying to keep him safe." A big lump builds in my throat. "Ryan is a monster. You can't even imagine what he's capable of."

"Even if Ryan is abusive, breaking the law is not the answer. Your son doesn't need a mom who's locked up."

I couldn't agree more. My dad and Kade never considered that they could throw me in jail and I regret not talking to Pam about the repercussions before I consented to their insane idea. "Going to prison was never part of the plan."

He pinches the bridge of his nose, exhaustion carved in the lines under his eyes. "I guess I shouldn't blame you for panicking." His gaze flicks to the camera. "Say, do you know 'The Old Man and The Sea?

I almost gasp. "The one by Dickens?"

"Yeah." A small smile plays on his lips. "I never read it but heard it was pretty good."

"It's really good." I return a goofy grin. Of all people, I never expected him to be Alex's mole who has been helping us from within the FBI. I'm not sure why he chose to reveal himself to me now with the agreed secret code about the old classic by Hemingway, but maybe he wants me to feel better or remind me that I'm not alone in this.

"Well, I'll better let you get some rest."

My hand slides on his arm when he tries to stand. "You asked me about my nightmare." I open my palm. "This is just one of fourteen burn scars my boyfriend left on me. Ryan might not have done this, but if he had never hurt his son, Brent wouldn't have turned into an abuser. Knowing this, I'll do anything to keep Noah away from Ryan, even if that means I have to go to jail for the rest of my life. He can never turn into someone like his father."

He stares at my hand, all color drained from his face. When his thumb traces the burn mark, I want to pull away, but somehow, the expression on his face paralyzes that part of my brain that usually sends commands to my muscles.

"I'm sorry this happened to you." His eyes find mine. Distress—and a deep sadness I cannot explain—burn deep within them.

After he leaves, his presence stays long with me. It's comforting to know that he is watching me—it feels more like protection than surveillance. I'm glad to have him in my corner and for the first time since I set foot into the jail, hope flairs again that things will work out in the end.

Sorry for the long delay in updates - I was moving and changed jobs, so was mad busy. I know this was also not the most exciting chapter, but I needed to get you prepared for the big finish stretch and thought you needed a break before things heat up.

Next chapter will reveal a new plot twist and also marks the quiet before the storm - after that, better be prepared for a fast and steep descend. 

I hope you still found this chapter deserving of your vote and please leave feedback if you like. Thanks for reading and have a great weekend :)