This chapter is dedicated to romanticeunacorn - thanks so much for all your support so far :)

14 - The Graveyard

Rena's POV 

Working with Pam was very exciting and I found myself missing the challenging responsibilities and the buzzing office during my off weeks, making the care for Noah almost a burdensome task. I resented feeling this way, blaming myself for being a rotten mother.

To compensate, I started to attack Charlotte when she was taking my son to Virginia during her visits, claiming that she would be incapable of keeping her husband away from him in their own home. I caught myself calling her phone a couple of times a day in the hopes that Ryan would pick up and I could bust her, but unfortunately, I never found any proof for my suspicion which at some point turned into something close to paranoia.

In the middle of August, both Kade and Noel finally had enough of my constant complaining and whining, suggesting for me to accompany Noah on a visit to make sure he was okay. The thought of spending any time in Quantico where I had once been happy with Brent was unbearable, but Doc felt it could be another "therapeutic" exercise and convinced me after a couple of sessions. Pam called my probation officer and filed a motion, so that I could officially leave the state for the week, and my father felt generous enough to pay for the flight, even though I had managed to save up a nice chunk of money.

With Kade in tow as my chaperon, I took off on the early morning flight to Alexandria and was amazed by Noah's calmness during the flight while I was hanging on to the armrests for my dear life during turbulences. When we landed, I swore that this would be a once off, and after the humidity hit me like a brick wall, drenching my shirt within minutes despite the early morning hour, I silently cursed Doc, ready to return to Chicago. If I hadn't been so scared that the judge would take Noah away for good if I cancelled the visit, I wouldn't have left the airport.

Kade rented a car and an hour later, we pulled into the driveway of the Park's residence. Nothing had changed except that everything was in full bloom and Charlotte had hung up a basket of colorful asters over the porch instead of the evergreen wrath for Thanksgiving. I was just getting out of the car when the front door slammed shut and Ryan stormed down the driveway with a sullen face. He hesitated when our gazes met and I could tell he was about to explode. Grumbling something under his breath, he jumped into his car before taking off with screeching tires.

"Wow, someone is throwing a tantrum," Kade smirked with raised eyebrows.

I giggled, unhinging the car seat from its brackets to carry Noah inside. He was kicking his little legs, laughing with little dimples in his cheeks. If I didn't know better, I would think he was making fun of his grandpa.

I rang the doorbell, but there was no answer. Uncertain of what to do, I stared at Kade who slowly turned the doorknob, his forehead wrinkled in a deep frown. I had seen that expression before - it was his look when he was really worried. The door swung open with a low screech. With my heart pounding in my chest, I edged forward, my eyes trying to adjust to the dimness in the foyer.

"Charlotte?" Kade's voice echoed through the empty house. "It's Kade Fallon. Are you home?"

A low shatter came from the kitchen like a dish had crashed to the floor. Shuffling feet approached and Charlotte's frame appeared in the doorway. She was still wearing her bathrobe and her hair was sticking into every possible direction. Slightly red eyes gazed at us - she had undoubtedly been crying, her cheeks streaked with wetness.

"Oh, Kade, Rena." Her mouth curved to an automatic smile. "Hi." She bit her lip, a flush coloring her cheeks. "I didn't expect you for at least another hour. Please, come on in." The tears were wiped off her face with the sleeve of the bathrobe.

It was the first time I felt sorry for her. Seeing that she was still living in her own personal hell was painful and a harsh reminder that a little over a year ago, I was in that same position.

Kade took the car seat from me and carried Noah into the kitchen with me on his heels, placing him on the kitchen counter. He unbuckled the belt and lifted the baby out.

"Come here, little fella," he cooed in a high pitched voice.

Charlotte and I exchanged a glance and I almost burst out laughing. She snickered before her face twisted into a painful grimace.

Kade sat Noah on the floor who immediately got on his hands and knees, exploring the kitchen. I kept an eye on him as he crawled towards the recycle box.

"Okay, Charlotte," Kade said, his voice slightly trembling. "Where does it hurt?"

Fresh tears filled her eyes. "It's nothing."

He shook his head. "I'll be the judge of that. As a physician, I took an oath and I won't walk out of here until I've examined you." The firmness in his voice was no match to her feeble attempts to sweep her injuries under the carpet.

"I think I cracked a rib." She opened the robe and lifted her shirt a few inches, just enough to uncover the lower part of her ribcage.

"Please, take off your shirt," Kade demanded as he began to rummage through the space under the sink until he found what he was looking for - Charlotte's pack of thin sterile gloves she used for cleaning.

Noah had reached the recycle bin and sat upright next to it, grabbing at a newspaper. I rushed over and gently untangled his chubby fingers. "I don't think so, pumpkin," I scolded softly. "Those can give you paper cuts." I cringed at the explanation, still finding it odd to have to justify my actions to an eight month old, but I learned in my parenting class that it was important to respect children from a young age and give them reasons for the do's and don'ts.

He gave me one of his irresistible smiles and began crawling into a different direction. Grinning at his eagerness to learn about the world, I turned my attention back to the adults in the kitchen. I gasped when I saw Charlotte's back which was covered with welts and bruises. Those were belt marks - there was no doubt - I had seen them on my own body before.

Kade was examining her side, his face twisted in anger. His lip was tucked firmly between his teeth and he was about to explode. "I can't tell if it's broken. I would advise you to go to the hospital and have then take an x-ray."

Charlotte let out a small moan when his fingers left her skin and she quickly covered herself with the bathrobe. "I'll stop by my family doctor later today. Thanks, Kade."

I found Kade's eyes, we both knew she was lying. "Will you be okay with Noah?" I asked, reluctant to leave my son behind since I was not even sure she could pick him up to change his diaper.

The robotic smile was back on her lips. "Don't worry, it'll fine," she assured and her eyes said it all - 'I have been here before and somehow I'll manage. Now get out of my hair.'

Sadly, I knew she was right - she was probably a pro at handling pain, barely remembering a week without it. A silent bond formed - in that moment, I would have liked to help her, yet I was realistic enough to know that I was the last person she would ask.

Kade cleared his throat and her head snapped around. "Rena and I will be staying at the Faremont Inn for the week, so if you need anything, call me. We all know Noah can be a handful, so if you want us to babysit, we're around."

She nodded, but I was sure she wouldn't call - this would make her look bad in court.

Kade signaled me with his head that it was time to go. I bent down, kissing Noah on his hair. "Bye, honey. Be a good boy for Charlotte and I'll see you on Friday. Mommy loves you."

His big blue eyes sparkled mischievously, drool running from the corner of his mouth as he babbled incomprehensible words in response. He was so cute and for a moment, a sharp knife sliced into my heart that I had to leave him behind. I sighed, tearing my eyes away from him before following Kade with slumped shoulders.

Before I got into the car, I took one more good look at the home where Brent had grown up and wondered how many tears had been spilled in that house. He might had been a totally different person if his father had never beat him, though Doc had explained to me that he still had had a choice to break the cycle of violence. Apparently, not as many children of abuse turned into abusers themselves as I originally thought, and child abuse still didn't justify turning into a monster.

"Let's go to the hotel," Kade said.

My eyes lingered on Brent's bedroom window. "Not yet. I want to make one more stop first." This was not only a trip I had made for Noah - it was my time to close this particular chapter in my life by making my amends.

xxxx

I remembered the small church from my Thanksgiving vacation; Brent had pointed it out on the way to the beach. The graveyard was adjacent to it, lined by old trees that sheltered the plots from the burning sun. The air was still and peaceful, a slight flowery scent teasing my nostrils. There was no sound other than the cheerful chirping of birds.

I pointed at a bench by the first row of graves. "Could you wait here for me?"

Kade gave me a crooked smile. "You sure?"

"Yes." This was something I had to do on my own. I walked along the gravesides, my eyes scanning the headstones for the familiar name. The plot was in the third row in a corner right next to the wooden fence with a fresh bouquet of flowers placed in the center.

'Brent Franklin Parks - taken from us too soon. You will always be remembered in our hearts.'

The inscription on the tombstone drove tears to my ears - seeing his last resting place had so much finality to it. As the guilt washed over me, I fell down on my knees, a few stray tears breaking loose.

"I'm sorry, Brent." A sob shook my body. "I never wanted any of this to happen." My voice was no more than a whisper but still seemed to echo in the graveyard. As the tears kept rolling, my fingers traced one of the engraved roses on the grave's marble lining. I wondered if he was up there in heaven - if there was even such a thing - or down somewhere with Lucifer. After all, he did kill our unborn child and was just as guilty of murder as I was.

I wiped the tears off my cheek with my palm, chuckling bitterly. I didn't come here to blame him.

"So, I'm sure your mom brought Noah by to visit. Isn't he beautiful?" I almost felt stupid talking to a headstone, but it gave me relief at the same time. Our son was the one good thing resulting from our relationship. "He started to crawl and even babbled a few words - I could swear he said dada once." A wail sprang from my lips when I realized what I just said. "I'm so sorry that you'll never get the chance to meet him."

I wanted to ask for Brent's forgiveness but couldn't get myself to mutter the words. How could I ask him that if I hadn't truly forgiven myself? I kept tracing the roses in front of my knees, one by one, a few tears splattering on the white marble stone.

"Well, I'll better go." There was so much more I wanted to say but not sure how to. I played with my bottom lip, not quite ready to leave his side. "For all that it's worth, I have forgiven you and I just hope you'll be able to do the same one day."

My fingers enclosed the little velvet box in my jeans pocket and I pulled it out, opening it up to take one more look at my engagement ring. I still remembered when Brent had slipped it on my finger - it was maybe the happiest moment of my life. Back then, I had never wanted to part from him for even one day.

My hands began to scoop out a little hole above the lining and I placed the box inside when it was deep enough to hide it. The ground was moist and I leveled it out when I was done - there was no hint that I had even been here. It was time to let go.

"Good bye, Brent. A part of me will always love you." As soon as the words rolled off my lips, I realized they were true. He was my first love - and no matter what had happened between us, that fact would never change. With the back of my hand, I wiped new tears away and exhaled slowly, allowing for the clawing tension to leave my body together with my breath. I felt free again.

I rose, glancing around, my eyes coming to rest on the grave next to his.

Jared Benjamin Parks - beloved son and brother. May the angels watch over you for eternity.

I squinted at the dates, Brent's brother had been five when he had died. Brent had said it was an accident - I believed he had fallen down the steps and broken his neck. For a moment, a horrific image flashed in my mind - what if Ryan had something to do with it? The thought was quickly discarded - even he was not capable of such malice.

I walked back to Kade who jumped up as soon as he saw me, concern in his face. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, feeling better than I had in a long time. This visit had been good for me - Doc had been right once again - and a heavy burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Every breath I took was easier, my steps lighter. I had gotten a glimpse at peace but there was a lot more I had to do before I could find my redemption.

We drove to the hotel in silence and I rinsed off after checking into the room. Kade had told me he would meet me down at the restaurant for a small brunch and I was starving, looking forward to some bacon and scrambled eggs. He was already seated at the bar when I arrived, sipping a cappuccino.

I grabbed the menu. "I could eat a whole pig," I teased, scanning the selection. They had fourteen different kinds of pancakes and my mouth watered when I imagined warm chocolate morsels, melting on my tongue.

"Excuse me, are you Rena Cooper?"

My attention shifted to the woman who had appeared in front of me, trying to figure out how she knew my name. She was dressed in ripped jeans and a revealing tank top, displaying well formed, muscular arms, and didn't fit the appearance of a hotel employee. Her hazel eyes bore into mine with an even expression that didn't hint whether she was a friend or represented danger.

"Yes," I answered with a frown.

Her smile didn't hit her eyes. "My name is Alex Mancini. I work with Ryan Parks for the FBI. I was wondering if I could talk to you about your court case."

My arms folded over my chest. "I'm not sure if that's a good idea."

Kade's head bobbed up and down next to me in agreement, but her eyes did not falter from my face, her expression still unreadable.

"I'm here to offer my help," she said.

I squinted at her, not sure what to make of that. "And why exactly would you wanna do that?"

The blank eyes turned vicious. "Because a few years ago, I promised myself to take Ryan Parks down. I think that's something we have in common and joining forces might be in our best interest."

Now she had my undivided attention. With a grin, I pointed at the bar stool beside me. "Why don't you join us for brunch?"

I sure was interested in what she had to say. If she was sincere, she would be a good ally to have and with a little bit of luck, I might even be able to get the Parks out of my life for good.

Another glimpse at Charlotte's life - Ryan doesn't ease up - and Rena made some amends with Brent. I hope the graveyard scene was not to sappy, it was important to show you her state of mind since it's part of her journey.

I would love to hear from you in the comments and please don't forget to vote if this chapter deserved it. Hope you are still enjoying Rena's story and thanks for reading :)