He found Saudah in the lounge, cuddling Tommo to her. She had changed into a pair of pyjama pants and a shirt- something she hadn't worn before. He didn't know how much time had lapsed since he left her in bed, but he knew it was far too long for her.

"I don't really want to talk to you right now, Riyaadh." Saudah turned away from him.

Why was it so difficult to just tell her how he felt? To just tell her everything.

His mind was blocked by an impenetrable shield and he couldn't dig his way out no matter how hard he tried. Those five years with Farhana had done more to him than he had ever dared to acknowledge. Her cruelty went beyond just hitting and burning... it sunk deep into his soul where he couldn't free himself of her.

She hadn't just hurt him. She had shamed him, and she had broken him down into pieces only to shape him into the way she wanted. Riyaadh had become what she needed him to be. He had become pliant and weak. He didn't know how to be anything else and the more he tried to run away from it, the more her claws sunk into him- even though she had long since been gone.

There were so many times that she had used sex against him. Every time she had burned him or scratched him, she would soothe him and use her body against him and then she would hurt him all over again. Deep- so deep- in his subconscious, he had begun to associate sex with pain. She wouldn't never sleep with him unless she had hurt him and knew she had to try to make up for it.

But even in bed, she couldn't hide her malevolence. He was always left with deep scratches down his back that he didn't much care for. There were times she would bite him so hard that he would have to push her away to get her to stop or hold onto him so roughly that she would bruise him. 

Even having sex with her left its marks on him and he didn't know how to tell her that he didn't like it...

Because she always made it seem as if she were doing it out of pure love.

"I'm sorry, Saudah."

She shook her head and buried her head deeper into Tommo's fur. "Please just go away."

He had to try though.

He couldn't let her think that it was her.

He walked around the couch and bent down before her, chucking her softly beneath her chin. "I need you to understand something."

"I kind of understood enough." She shifted, dropping the cat when he shuffled out of her hold.

"You're wrong." He stood up, moved to stand in front of her once more and bent down so he could look at her.

She looked up; contempt evident in her eyes. "I hurled myself onto you and you literally shoved me off your lap and ran away. What am I wrong about?" she rubbed her hands over her face, jumping off the side of the couch so she could escape.

"Just wait." He caught her arm, drawing her closer to him. "Please."

"I'm really embarrassed okay. Please don't let me relive that again." Saudah pushed his hand off her and made to move once more.

He grabbed both of her arms, and held her close to him. "Saudah, just stop!"

Her eyes widened at his tone.

"I just need you to understand." He pleaded once more, irritated that he lost his cool.

"Understand what?" she shrugged out of his hold once again and folded her arms in front of her chest.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he tried to say what he was supposed. But in that moment, all of his explanations had simply evaded him.

"What, Riyaadh?"

He licked his lips, hating the dryness that had consumed his mouth.

"Okay, I can't-" she lifted her hands and shook her head once more before she walked away from him.

"I think you're sexy as hell."

She stopped cold.

"I do. I think you're adorable and you're beautiful and you're cute and you're heluva sexy. And I hate that I made you feel as if there was something wrong with you."

She turned around; surprise etched onto her face.

"I asked you to marry me, remember." He took a step closer to her. "I would never have asked you if I wasn't attracted to you."

Another step closer.

"I know I don't always show it and I know that I sometimes make you feel as if I don't really like you, but I do."

Another step closer.

"And what you did back then took some serious balls."

She smiled as she rubbed the back of her neck.

"One more thing."

He was right in front of her now.

He reached for the top button of her shirt and pulled it carefully out of the loop.

"What?" her voice was rough, and she cleared her throat before asking him again.

He unbuttoned the next button, then the next...

Then the next...

All the while watching the way her face flushed a deep scarlet and her chest that rose and fell far too quickly with each shallow breath.

Till the last button was undone and he shrugged her shirt off her shoulders.

"Don't ever be ashamed of this." He ran a finger down her side, scratching lightly at the waistband of her pants. "This is just- You are just-" he rolled her waistband down till it sat low on her hips.

She gasped prettily as his thumbs brushed against her stomach as he stroked his way up her ribs till his knuckles barely grazed her bra. "You are insanely hot, okay."

"Okay." Her voice was a hoarse rasp as he teased the hooks of her bra.

"And what happened earlier was on me. It had absolutely nothing to do with you."

She nodded her head, as she leaned closer to his touch. "If you don't kiss me right now, I think I'm going to explode."

He chuckled. "Always so direct..."

He kissed her once, twice, three times... short, little kisses as if to tease her about the first time she kissed him.

She clicked her tongue at him but a smile still escaped her lips. "What am I going to do with you?" she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

Riyaadh shrugged and hugged her back.

He felt her breath along his collar bone and only then did he realise that he had never actually hugged her before.

"This is nice," she said almost as if she read his mind.

"It is."

She leaned back and looked up at him. "I'm going to bed. Do you want to come back with me?"

He hesitated for only a second.

"I promise I'll keep my hands to myself." She teased, wiggling her fingers at him.

"Promise?"

"Uhm hmm."

He nodded once before he tugged her towards him by her drawstrings. "Do I have to do the same?"

Her mouth opened and closed as she swallowed.

"Do I?"

She shook her head.

"Do you want to go figure it out?"

She took his hand and led him to their bedroom. "Definitely..."

And he closed the door with a soft thud before the kitten could follow them in. 

A/N- okay first things first- they did NOT have sex.

Just before anyone gets confused.

Next- I know Normal with You is a pretty hectic book but if you want to understand Farhana, you could give it a look-see.

Okay! Hope you enjoyed it!