The World and More

By: artsy_jassy

Genre: Young Adult Romance

Rating: 4.25/5

Reviewer: ThoughtfulSushi

Review:

This book is very well written! Good job! There are not many grammar/spelling mistakes which allows me to get sucked in and read the whole thing! That's a huge compliment in itself!

Josie is very well written in the beginning, I love her dialogue and how authentic she feels. Once she starts obsessing over Mike caring about her though her character seems to deteriorate. Whether this is done on purpose (love can have that effect on people) or unintentionally (we all let our characters slip, trust me) I'm unsure. I also noticed that Mike is almost a male version of Josie. You show his depth a tiny bit in his PoV but not enough all around. People are creatures of habit. He's very wishy washy with how he treats Josie in the beginning to each of their fights.

Swearing is fine in a book, I do it in my own but be careful with it. Does it fit the characters personality? Does it sound natural in the sentence? Because of Josie's background (religious mother) and her gentle personality, it feels very unnatural for me when she screams and curses. Characters can be angry without swearing :) Said is dead, Google it and look at the pictures. Set a tone for the dialogue using character appropriate words.

Contractions are okay to use. I found myself making them as a read so I'd suggest making your can nots into can'ts, did nots into didn't and so on to improve your flow.

To end on a positive note, like I said above I did read everything you have posted, which is a huge accomplishment on your part! Remember, every great novel wasn't completed in one draft so keep doing what you're doing. Plus those edit updates get you seen more. 😉