The Transferee

By: JamRavilo

Genre: Young Adult Romance

Rating: 2.75/5

Reviewer: ThoughtfulSushi

Review:

This book has an interesting yet classic start. I like how you are exploring what it's like to be a sexually confused teen. Jem starts out heartbroken by a girl and is slowly developing feelings for his new roommate who happens to be a male.

I love that you have made their relationship progress slow and in a realistic fashion. Often times authors get excited about creating a romance between characters and they rush into it, making it feel forced and not natural. It could greatly enhance your story to ease back on the internal dialogue of being attracted to each other in a sexual way and focus more on being drawn to each other and enjoying spending time together.

At the risk of putting my foot in my mouth, I think it's incredibly brave and ambitious of you to write in a language that is not native to you. I certainly can't do it. I can see that grammar is a bit of a struggle which is natural, English isn't easy by any means. I do feel that a lot of depth was lost because of this, but with time and more knowledge of the English language a lot of that will work itself out.

Your story has great potential, keep up the great work! And don't be shy about editing your work constantly. The more you update the better your chances are of being seen!