The Mafia's Revenge

By: 4lairr

Genre: General Fiction/Romance

Rating: 4.75/5

Reviewer: ThoughtfulSushi

Review:

This is definitely a mature book! The first chapter starts out very poetic (is it meant to be poetry?). I grabbed my attention and never let go. I wanted to know what the main characters deal was since its implied but not quite defined until chapter 3 or maybe 4.

Grammar, spelling and all that is decent. I did notice that there are spots where it could use a re-read. I suggest combing through the chapters you have posted and editing them so they are consistent. Since your book is very mature and a bit dark I think it's important that it reads that way too.

The only other thing that caught my attention was Ella's cursing. Your story is dark and mature. It detracts from the story when she uses words like friggin. If she's too afraid or timid to curse then I wouldn't have her do it.

That's pretty much my biggest concern with your work so far. It's obvious you have put effort into it and would love for it to be perfect! Like I've stated in past reviews, I won't read the whole thing if I don't like it and I read all that you have posted!