Insecurities...
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https://youtu.be/iyMLZwHGDgQ
Mikasa was known for being strong and powerful. To look a threat dead in the eye before throwing a punch and not caring if she had to fight every enemy in the world by herself to protect those she cared for.
She was known as the soldier worth a hundred men, a number growing with each passing year.
Been seen as confidence and full of herself due to keeping her head held high and not bothering over the little things that might effect others.
She was weak emotionally but she had her friends who'll protect and defend her with all they had from such attacks. By her side to comfort her if she's ever emotionally hurt and showing her the good in life once more.
But Mikasa was still human.
She gained insecurities like anyone else.
Might not gain as many as others or have them as often as others but she still had some of her own.
Normally she'd fight to overcome any and every insecurity that fills her head or move past them as they didn't deem as important with whatever big event happening in her life at the time.
It was the simply moments where a few would sneak into the back of her head and try to make camp for however long she allows them to stay.
Like tonight, Queen Historia was holding an ball for all close friends and soldiers with high enough rank to thank them for being so loyal and working so hard to defend the people within the walls.
Mikasa had gotten a pretty dress, one she had liked and was complimented on by Armin who went dress shopping with her. She'd gone suit shopping with him after gaining her own dress, both having tried to pull Eren along but he'd been growing distant from them for some months now.
Mikasa felt pretty in the dress, knew it wasn't as fancy as some other dresses other worse but it made her feel good. And that's all that mattered to her at the time.
But now she was playing strip poker, a game she's never lost.
Her father was raised in an household that liked to gambler and while her father hated any and all card games due to his upbringing. He made sure to teach his daughter how to play and make sure she was never cheated out in the game or would so easily lost.
A skill Mikasa has kept and her talents had only grown as she caried on practicing during her life. She's even taught Armin, wanting her friend to be able to hold his own in a game of cards if he ever got pushed into playing.
Like tonight, a group of Military Police decided to play a few games in one of the rooms within the castle that was away from the ballroom. None of them would be easily found but wouldn't be too hard to be found if needed desperately.
Armin and herself was pulled into the mess, regiment pride was on the line and Armin wasn't going to let all those who have lost their lives to get them this far to be stepped on by a bunch of pigs living in the safety of the walls all along. Armin had pulled Mikasa to the side, explained what the captain's had been saying in private and asked for her help to strip them of their pride, and leave them ashamed for all to see at the ball.
Mikasa took great pleasure in joining the game.
But now she was left fully dressed, the other men all down to just being in their underwear or a few still clinging to a sock or two. Armin only having lost one shoe and his gloves so far beside her while she stayed perfectly dressed still.
The doors were opened, allowing any who were sneaking out to leave early to peek in and spot the embarrassed men being stripped by two "Scums" of the Survey Corps.
The men were growing angrily with each lost but more spooked and ashamed with each bit of clothing removed from them. Armin had happily been piling every bit of clothing by the open doors, making sure they'd all have to walk around in such state to collect their clothing later.
And when people are upset or drunk, they speak rude or say rather mean things. Just as a few of the men mentioning that it was worth the "lost" due to not having to be scarred by a body like Mikasa's. Commenting over her muscle mass and most likely ugly scarred body.
They did start with a few sexual comments when the games first started. Hinting over being able to undress one of the strongest soldiers so easily. How they'd get a free strip show from her and have some eye candy as they win.
But as soon as they started to scarily lose every game, they grew to be snappish and cruel. Insulting Mikasa more and more, laughing whenever Armin asked them to stop and act like actual gentlemen.
Mikasa wasn't normally self conscious over her body.
She knew she wasn't as frail as other women but she admitted her muscles. She worked and trained hard for them.
She accepted her scars as medals collected throughout life that proved she had survived a bad turn of effects. Each scar proving she's lived long enough to save another life or protect those she cared for.
She's never been ashamed or embarrassed over her body before.
But insecurities snuck into everyone's mind and played cruel tricks on the brain.
Leaving Mikasa to question if she truly was an eye sore.
She knew others have grown crushes on her but they've always fallen for her rare beauty or due to her rumoured strength. She's never had someone fall in love with her as she was and the person she chose to be.
"Wasn't my one rule tonight was to not add to my paperwork, brats?" Levi asked as he stood in the doorway, unimpressed over finding them gambling and escaping the ball. More so when he was left trapped in the ballroom without an escape so far.
"C-Captain Levi. We haven't shown a single coin, gambling is forbidden but a game of cards isn't" Armin hurried to say as he stood up, showing the table they'd all sat around held not a single coin. Proving no forbidden gambling was going on.
"I don't remember a lack of clothing being in the rules for any card games.." Levi drily commented as he glanced towards the military police members and shown a face of disgust over their lack of clothing state.
"Well, almost everyone stripped of their clothing" Levi corrected himself as he glanced to the two members still dressed.
"They merely got a little too hot headed and needed to cool themselves down" Mikasa simply explained with such an obvious fake excuse. Not caring over how false it sounded, she wasn't going to try hard to protect the pigs from being scolded.
The pigs all glared towards Mikasa who merely raised an eyebrow, daring them to come up with an excuse over them all currently playing strip poker and see how well they do. All silently cursing in their heads and clearly wanting to pick a fight but not daring to do so right now.
Instead Mikasa collected the cards once more, nodding for Armin to still the Captain still in two socks, one of his socks as payment for losing. Armin happily walked round the table, squadding down and smiling innocent as he stole the man's sock. A skip in his step as he headed over to the pile of clothing and dropped it on top.
"Another round, boys?" Mikasa asked as she tapped the gathered cards on the table, completely relaxed and ready to play another round if they felt brave enough.
"Or would you like to bite your tongues for the rest of this war?" Armin asked with an overly sweet smile, ready for the men to never speak an ill word over the Survey Corps again.
Levi merely raised his eyebrow, wondering what the pigs had said to gain the wrath of the blonde. Enough of his wrath for him to send Mikasa on them so openly. No one seems ready to speak over the issue just yet and Levi would try pulling one of the two in his regiment over to the side to ask another day.
For now he watched as the rest refused another game, complaining over Mikasa cheating and standing up to collect their clothing. Armin stepping out of the room, nodding towards someone and soon enough a handful of staff members, some who the mps have been rude towards before, all came in and collected the clothing. The staff members walked out of the room, not giving the clothes back and earning the mp's to hurry after them.
"Mind cleaning up without me? I really want to see their flustered states once they end up in the ballroom in their underwear" Armin asked as he glanced to his childhood friend, not wanting to dump clean up on her but not wanting to miss out on the jerks reactions either.
"Go ahead. Get Jean to draw their reaction for me later" Mikasa smirked back, nodding for him to be going already.
"Will do!" Armin cheered back, hurrying after the panicked mp's ahead. None noticing they were heading towards the ballroom full of guests just yet.
Levi stayed hovering in the doorway and Mikasa silently tucking the chairs back under the table and collecting any glasses to gather togehter. Her expression more sad than she'd normally show as she kept glancing towards her reflection in the expensive mirror that hanged on one of the walls.
Levi sighed, wondering what fool had said something dumb towards the most beautiful women known. Inside and out, all of Mikasa was pure beauty. Even her flaws held a beauty to them as it showed she was only human like the rest of them. She was perfectly imperfection to him and he only wished she could see herself through his eyes.
"You looking stunning enough to marry" Levi confessed as he stepped in to help her clean up the room. Knowing that any would be lucky to marry such a women and none would ever be worthy of her love.
"Wha-" Mikasa gasped back, her eyes growing wide as she lifted her head to look at him.
"You keep glancing towards your reflection. Something has been said. They were wrong, forever will be" Levi gently admitted as he placed the last glass with the others, knowing the room would be better cleaned by the staff later.
"Thank you" Mikasa whispered softly, her eyes truly held a black hole within them that hid all the stars in the universe inside.
"I can carry on if you need to hear more" Levi offered, feeling as if that was all too easy.
"I know you won't lie to me. You've spoken more words than ever in that sentence alone" Mikasa admitted as she knew she could trust his words, knowing she was perfect how she was. He'd never lie to her over an insecurity, never has before.
After the War...
"You're still handsome" Mikasa promised as she sat on the park's bench, looking to where she'd parked him in front of her while they took a break from their walk togehter.
"I'm a broken toy" Levi scoffed back as he rolled his eyes, knowing he wasn't some charming prince anymore. He was no longer humanity's strongest and that left him no longer wanted.
"Broken just means well loved" Mikasa pointed out with a soft smile, not seeing a single thing wrong with him in her eyes.
"Leave me to be grumpy" Levi grumbled back as he's fought long enough to be allowed to be a grumpy man for the rest of his dull life. The scars helped to scare others away from bothering him now and the lost of fingers meant enough people didn't want to risk being chained down to him as an carer.
"For the rest of our lives" Mikasa agreed with a light nod, grinning goofily over the agreement they'll come to share.
"I want my spare key back" Levi commented as he didn't want such positivity bugging him forever. He wanted her to live her own life, to move on from their past and find her own future. She didn't need to waste time keeping him company anymore.
"That's fine, we can just live with one key between us" Mikasa offered up as she tiled her head to the side, thinking it over what type of home they could buy together. Stairs were a no go after all.
"Don't be a fool, Brat. I may be an asshole but I'm still a gentlemen. I won't risk rumours floating over you by having you moved in with me outside of marriage" Levi mumbled back with a frown as he knew that those type of rumours would ruin any chance of a love life ahead.
"Good for me that you're still marriageable. And you're even as handsome as my future husband is pictured to be. Could even be his twin" Mikasa perked up as she grabbed at his hands, looking him over as if he was a look alike to her preferred husband to be.
"You shouldn't waste your life with me. I'm barely half a man anymore" Levi warned with a grimace, knowing she deserved better.
"I'm not. I'll be finally living my life with you instead" Mikasa warmly promised as she pressed a kiss to his hands, slipping a ring into his palm as she slipped her hands away, leaving him to stare down at her offer.
He just sighed before slipping it on and knowing it was time for him to find his best suit and get it cleaned again. He wondered if he should look into buying her wedding dress for her, having had some money saved for a future he never thought he'd be able to live.
"Fate must be wanting us togehter since it's let me kept my wedding finger at least" Levi huffed back as he raised his hand, showing the ring fitting him perfectly.
Maybe marrying the damn brat wasn't going to be complete torture for the rest of his life. She'd be able to reach his tea bags on the top shelf whenever he needed to refill his tea tin. And it'd be nice to actual lose at a game of cards for once too.
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