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Why was feelings so complicated. 

Did their heart really need to be such a Bitch all the time, couldn't it give them a rest day or something. 

Clearly not because Levi was being tortured by his own heart that won't listen to single damn word it said. 

Sure, he might had this sudden punch to the heart coming since he had it closed for so long but who could blame him. 

He loved his mother and she died before him. 

He was close to having a new home with Kenny but he just taught him to survive in the underground and to throw away any attachments. 

He gained a new family, Farlan who became a brother to him and now he was gone too. 

Than Isabel, a sister he gained without noticing until she was dead as well. 

He's watched soldiers after soldiers die by the hands of Titans and he learnt that feelings only got you hurt or killed. 

Could anyone blame him for building up walls, closing down his heart and chose to never find an attachment with someone again.

And yet, here he stood with a beating heart for a certain someone who caught his eyes.

Sure, there first meeting wasn't the best and she impressed him by wanting to smash his head in before the judge as well but stopped as a friend yanked them back. 

He would never admit standing in front of the judge a little sooner when they started tainting her name, acting like she held no feelings and yet she almost looked like a doll making him wonder if the rumours over her were true.

Of course he had read her file, he read all recruits files and check them over to know who he should keep an eye on. 

That's why when he learnt of a titan shifter, he was shocked since it seemed impossible but he found someone much more fascinating than being a titan shifter. 

Her!

Her kill count, her strength, her skills and her file was breath taking and she was much like him. Maybe not on his level but she was slightly better, unlike him who skilled straight to survey corps by Erwin hand, she had gone rough all the basic soldier training and stood at the top. Yet, she didn't boast over it, she seemed unbothered over herself completely. 

True, she held an emotion attachment to both Eren and Armin but they were all she had left, he could understand such a special and rare bond, he once had it. 

But now, as he saw how much she could improve why never wanting to change a single thing about her, his eyes just never left her. 

He would always spot her in a crowd, in the distance and even just her name his ears would pick up within second. 

It was driving him insane, he was never one for crushes but he clearly held one for her. 

She even lowered her guard around him, no longer glaring at him or insulting his name as much. He didn't blame her, even he knew he was a bastard sometimes. Plus, he may have gone overboard with the whole kicking the living shit out of Eren but in his defence, he was angry over the boy at the time. 

Mikasa was almost god like, she deserved everything and yet she would never accept anymore than just having a place to belong. 

She was breath taking, not in beauty but as the person she stood as. 

She knew her faults and her strengths, she was so much more than an empty doll that could fight. She held heart, held feelings and she had fears just like them all but they were buried deep within her walls that barely crumbled to anyone. 

He was in love with her and he hated it. 

He was sure she knew as well making it worse.

He would keep his cold act but whenever his eyes met with her own, his feelings leaked out .. she saw past his walls and yet she spoke no words over the man he was. 

She didn't hate him nor did she leave him, she just stayed silent, standing in reach but never holding out her hand to him. 

She was just there for him and he wondered if she would be the one to stay until he took his last breath or would she leave him first just like everyone else. 

Love was truly complicated.

He didn't wish to play this game anymore, he wanted to give it up and leave himself to become numb once more. 

But she wouldn't allow that, whenever he held hope of crushing his heart and letting numbness take him, she would show up. 

She wouldn't storm in like a knight in shining armour but she would stand before him. 

She was give him hope, give him the warmth of love once more.

He held hope she felt the same, standing as scared as he was but he could never find it in himself to ask. 

The most complicated game in life was love and he no longer wanted to play it. 

.

Yet, he will carry on playing it until only one was left standing alone or he could finally call her as his own.