THE CONCEPT OF home was one that Mariah had, for the longest time, refused to alter. Home always made her think back to New York, Kai, her adoptive fathers — anything but L.A and the suffocating warmth she couldn't stand. She missed the nippy winters and people minding their business, and even the worst parts about the city were superior to the worst parts about her current living arrangements. Los Angeles was not home, it was a temporary solution, and if it wasn't for Kai and Mateo, she would have had absolutely nothing to remind her of better days.

The latter of the two was, however, exactly who had made it his mission to help the woman adjust. Even after all the time she had spent in the city, her apartment had stayed the same — a bleary, undecorated place for sleep. To Mateo, there was nothing more outrageous than letting a perfectly fine home, or even the substitute of one, go to waste.

That was why, on Mariah's day-off, the man was striding to her place with boxes of trinkets, plants, posters and decorative pillows.

"You miss New York, I get that. Sometimes, I miss New Mexico, but moving here was the best decision of my life. After coming out, of course", Mateo rambled while shoving Mariah's couch against the wall and admiring his work for a beat. "If you still want to move back when your case is closed, then you go right on ahead. But until then, you can at least feel comfortable in your own apartment, don't you think?"

Frowning from the dining table with her feet dangling over the edge, Mariah supposed he had a point. In truth, she was scared that by the time she'd be able to go back home, she would no longer want to — she wasn't ready to adjust to Los Angeles, but she feared that she would; that her old life was but a memory and would never become anything more again.

"Oh, hey, did the whole Lux thing work out? Sorry for getting a little out of control. That's what I get for not having Curly Fry to look after me", Mateo contemplated out loud before shooting a grin at Mariah, "I really do love having him around." At that, the Rose finally smiled, delighted that two of her dearest friends had grown so accustomed to one another. It had been a great risk to take, but one that proved sometimes they were worth it.

"No, we scrapped that plan", Mariah cleared her throat, unable to stop wondering whether or not Ella kept going to Lux on her own. Nevertheless, she had begun to look into other ways of finding her man of the hour — between Izzy keeping watch over the hotline and Mariah starting interrogations with the people they had arrested, something was bound to work out.

"Aw, not even Benji found anything?" Mateo sighed while slumping onto the couch and giving Mariah an apologetic look.

In return, he got a confused one. "You're friends with him, too?" she snorted, unsure why she was so surprised that Mateo would find a companion in someone so... chaotic.

With a sheepish grin, the Ruiz hummed. "You remember that one time years ago when I needed you to bail me out, no questions asked, after a particularly interesting one night stand?" he recalled thoughtfully, and with her eyes widening, Mariah delivered a hesitant nod.

Chaotic, indeed. And yet, Mateo was always the one person to bring her solace and stillness, not to mention the hope that maybe, she could tolerate L.A for the time being.

—————

MARIAH, UNLIKE KAI, was not a big fan of interrogations. That wasn't to say she wasn't good at them, but when it came to being a detective, she liked the quiet, background work that amounted to something conclusive and big in the end. Her best friend had always been talented at snarky jokes and rambling the suspects into a corner, but to Mariah, there was nothing more heinous than sobbing people or trying to get the toughest ones to crack by showing emotion herself. That was why they had made a solid team back in New York — he had done most of the talking while she had sat there, looking intimidating enough to pull confessions from the pressured suspects.

But now, as the lead detective on her biggest operation yet, she had no choice but to dig through rows of criminals on her own. She wasn't quite sure if it was better or worse knowing the people on the other side of the interrogation room were people she had pretended to befriend for months — people that had supposedly had her back, and vice versa. She had never forgotten about her true goal, the reason she got up each morning, but when the time had passed with no other company, the lines between ally and enemy had undeniably blurred together.

With a sigh, Mariah stepped out of interrogation with her files in one hand and the other running through her waves as she approached Kai's desk. At the sight of her, he was perking up and tugging on Ella's sleeve, the two of them sharing coffee by his computer and discarding any gossip they had once Mariah was joining their company.

"How was it?" Kai asked with a look so wary he could have been waiting for a death sentence. Dismissing him with a shrug, Mariah placed her files on his desk and pondered what to say — there was enough evidence to incriminate most of the people she had arrested, but none of it felt like good enough until she'd find the missing man in charge. With him still out there, he could very well start from scratch and recruit new idiots to work for him, and that hardly gave Mariah the necessary confidence.

"They're mad at me", Mariah chuckled, "I got 'em, though."

With an impressed grin, Ella smacked an encouraging hand against Mariah's shoulder. "That's the spirit! And we'll find your guy, too. Edwards, right?" she recalled, and nodding grimly, Mariah confirmed her memory wasn't failing her yet — Edwards was what the other leader of the operation had been known as, the trusted right-hand man of the woman Mariah had managed to arrest on that fateful night. They were equals in many ways, but Edwards reigned superior in the manner that he was still walking free.

"You're kidding me!" Kai cried out, utterly unimpressed as he gestured at the file Mariah had left in front of him. "You're telling me this intimidating, charming hunk is called Eddie? Boy, if we were living in a movie, I would so not be scared", he huffed before giving Mariah and Ella a determined look, "he looks more like a Switchblade or a Hellfire to me."

Although Mariah questioned just how accurate Hellfire was to the suited man she had been looking for, it did remind her of Lucifer. Suddenly alert that the Devil might be lurking around any corner, she glanced over her shoulders and then back to her friends with a doubtful look.

"Haven't seen Lucifer today", she acknowledged, indirectly presenting a question that both Ella and Kai recognized effortlessly between the lines.

"Something about an old ex in town, I think. She's somehow related to Chloe's case, too, so she's basically chasing after him with Dan", Kai snorted at the thought of her girlfriend playing cat and mouse with Lucifer, as always. Mariah, on the other hand, struggled to see why he gave the Morningstar so much lenience, but at the mention of Detective Espinoza, she decided to pick something else apart.

"What's Espinoza's deal, anyway?" Mariah wondered while crossing her arms over her chest, a thoughtful pout twisting her lips as she sighed. "I'm not sure what to think of him yet", she added, her need for answers only expanding when her two friends exchanged silent, knowing looks.

With her characteristic smile fading to nothing, Ella gestured at Dan's abandoned desk where, next to the photos of his kid, sat one more framed picture of a brightly grinning woman. "He fell in love and... well, you know", the Lopez muttered uneasily, and with a sad nod, Kai backed her words up. "It hit us all hard, really. I haven't been on good terms with the Big Guy because of it, and Kai...", she went on, only for the Nolan to cut in with a weak, unamused smile.

"I was there. But she meant the most to Dan", he pointed, unwilling to elaborate anything more as he glanced at the photo on the Espinoza's desk and then ducked his head away. Remembering his cemetery visits, Mariah was so close to regretting her prodding, but then Kai decided to speak up once more with a genuine snort as he nudged Ella with his elbow. "Remember that time Dan got demoted?"

Knitting her eyebrows together, the Rose observed the duo snickering to themselves and cleared her throat. "Demoted?" she repeated with doubt, and vehemently nodding, Kai flashed a smile from behind his coffee mug.

"Yeah, something about stealing a gun from evidence and whatnot. I mean, he was forced to do it, I think", he summarized with a casual shrug, as if it was no big deal. The frown deepening on Mariah's face suggested that she did not agree, though.

"Let me rephrase, only demoted?" she scoffed, any hope she was holding out for Dan officially gone with a snap of fingers. If the stories she had heard rang true, it wasn't his first time playing fast and loose with the law — otherwise, his brother surely wouldn't have been pouring drinks at Lux. But he was, and Dan was still a detective, earning a roll of eyes from Mariah as she glanced at her watch and prepared to make her well-timed exit.

Ella seemed to notice her feet itching to walk away, so before Mariah could disappear in a cloud of smoke, the Lopez was landing a gentle hand on her arm. "Hey, I was thinking, we don't really know each other enough. I mean, I know you're a badass undercover detective who doesn't drink and detests hugs, but I thought it would be nice to actually talk", she suggested with a polite smile, one that was so warm and inviting that it almost pained Mariah to shoot it down. Almost.

"Sorry, I have an appointment", she interjected before Ella could get any more excited, and after receiving a knowing nod from Kai — who had been the first one to recommend the right person — Mariah was stepping away with an apologetic half-smile. "Another time", she insisted, though none of them were quite sure how much she meant those words.

Reluctantly, Mariah kind of hoped she'd keep her word on that one.

—————

FULL TRANSPARENCY AND Mariah did not mix well. She wasn't dishonest, but she was hardly an open book, so opening up about her experiences or feelings with someone that wasn't family was rarely, if ever, on the table. She knew that to make friends, she needed to communicate — she simply considered herself equipped enough when it came to company, there was no need for more.

That said, she did realize that the movie cliché of a hardened detective drowning their sorrows in whiskey and dirty money was not the way to go, so regardless of how difficult it was, she was forcing herself to face her problems head-on. Kai had spoken mighty highly of a Dr. Linda Martin, and despite how nauseating the thought of sharing about her undercover days to a shrink sounded, that was what Mariah had buckled up for.

The annoyingly warm L.A air kept her company as she waited outside the therapist's office building, rocking back and forth on the heels of her boots. Linda, at the very least, had earned herself some points by agreeing that there was no need for them to sit in a silent office and stare at each other — she had been more than happy with Mariah's proposal to take a walk outside, instead.

Why exactly she had insisted on needing some steps, anyway, Mariah didn't know. At least, not until the short blonde was waddling out of the building, a hand resting on an obvious baby bump while she greeted Mariah with a delighted smile and pushed her sliding glasses up her nose with her free hand.

"Oh, you must be Mariah! Pleasure to meet you. Kai told me great things about you", Linda beamed while acknowledging Mariah with a simple nod, rather than wringing the woman into a bumpy hug or a clammy handshake. Appreciatively, the Rose returned the nod only for her relief to be washed away by the tall, brooding man suddenly standing beside Linda with a stern stare aimed at Mariah.

"I don't know how you usually do things, but I'm... not up for group therapy", Mariah declared awkwardly, eyeing the muscular, dark-skinned man with the worry that they'd have to get to holding hands and gazing into each other's souls.

Laughing, Linda shook her head. "No, this is— he's my, uh—", she tried to form the right words between gesturing at her belly and then back at the man. "Amenadiel, please. I'm sure Miss Rose won't throw me in the back of a van as soon as you turn away", she addressed the man with a disgruntled tone, one that didn't sound quite right coming from such a wholesome woman, but Mariah didn't doubt that she was capable of defending herself.

But, just in case... "I promise, as far as I'm concerned, both the baby and the ma will stay in one piece", Mariah swore with a hand on her heart, and she supposed that Amenadiel deemed her honest enough — and so, begrudgingly, the man thanked her before stalking away.

His absence, however, reminded Mariah that now that it was just her and Linda, she needed to talk about herself and her own problems. There were plenty, after all. The feeling of inadequacy with Edwards still out there, her struggle to trust people, the insomnia that came with being far from home... All of that mixed together made for a very unstable Mariah Rose, so cool and composed on the outside but so gravely desperate and hurt on the inside.

"So", Linda faced Mariah with a smile, "I hear you've had a long two years."

With a genuine laugh, she nodded in agreement, shoving her hands into her pockets while they began somberly strolling along the hot pavement. Of all the therapists in L.A, Kai had clearly found the best one — there was no pressure, but rather, Mariah found herself feeling oddly at ease while walking by Linda's side even under the irritating rays of sunshine.

"You could say that."

—————

BACK AT WORK, Mariah felt unbelievably invigorated by her session with Linda. She had never doubted therapy as effective; instead, she was one to encourage her friends to seek guidance if necessary, but she simply found difficulty in sharing about herself. With Linda, though, it had been almost effortless, like a genuinely safe space that continued to warm her heart even as she made her way back to the precinct.

Just as she had gotten settled by her desk to go over the statements she had taken earlier in the day, Ella was emerging from her lab once more, her colorful shoes headed straight for the Rose. By now, Mariah was not surprised by the addition to her company, but for the first time, she couldn't help but smile while looking up at Ella who smacked a board game right next to her keyboard.

"Dare I even ask?" Mariah wondered with a fond eye roll, and in return, Ella chuckled but pulled up a chair to confirm she was there to stay.

"You said you used to play board games with your parents. I said I could beat you at Operation", Ella challenged with a lifted eyebrow, and for a second, Mariah stared at her, weighing her options. But eventually, the impressed swing of her heart convinced her to pick off the top of the box and crack her knuckles to prepare for a quick, albeit competitive round of her favorite game.

Before they could begin, though, she landed a hand on Ella's to stop her from grabbing the tiny pliers. "Two adoptive dads. My parents, I mean", she clarified, surprising Ella with the little piece of information — even more so when she kept going. "I'm a Taurus. I'm allergic to citrus fruit, I do not like the L.A heat, I have two tattoos and I'm pansexual", Mariah listed and made Ella smile in the process.

"Thank you", the Lopez promised that her sharing wasn't taken for granted. "I'm from Detroit. I have five brothers. Uh, I used to steal cars, and ironically, I was in an accident when I was a kid", Ella returned the favor, but before Mariah could inquire if she was okay, she added a cheeky grin, "I'm gonna need to see those tattoos one day."

Stifling a laugh, Mariah dropped her stare to the game, unable to explain how Ella made her feel so at home. Even more unexplainable was the wonder in her heart as she silently thought about whether or not Ella would be into women, too.

»»»

Author's note

AaaAaAAAAA. I got some good stuff coming you guys omg. I took my sweet time with Chloe and Kai so this fic won't be as much of a slowburn and I'm reaaallly excited about that (': And now Mariah has met pretty much everyone!! (Apart from Trixie and Eve but all in good time) Anddd the next chapter takes place in 4x05 which is probably my favorite s4 episode so I'm hyped to get to writing that one (:

I finally decided to name my bad guy, he's gonna stay in the background for the most part but considering he's a big part of Mariah's storyline, it felt easier to just go ahead and give the man a dang name. So, when you see the name "Edwards", we talking Mariah's main suspect!!

Thank you tons for reading. ❤️