SIRIUS BLACK'S CHILDREN: REALLY NEGLECTED ORPHANS?
Written by Rita Skeeter
Astrid, Taylor, and Tristan Black: Padfoots_kids

Following my interview with the ever-so-breathtakingly-handsome Sirius Black, I decided to interview his three children- Taylor, Astrid, and Tristan Black. Yes, reader, I am as surprised as you are. I know what you're thinking: Sirius Black has children? Apparently, he does and has failed to inform me about them. (How could you, Sirius? Did you think that I'd stop loving you just because you already have children?)

Their mother is the late Marlene McKinnon, member of the Order of the Phoenix. I am not jealous at all that Sirius had chosen another woman when I'm right here. Been here all this time, so why can't he seeeeeeee? He belongs with meeeeeee? (haha Muggle song reference)

(Above: A picture taken of young Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon, taken outside of Number 12, Grimmauld Place.)

After their mother's death, they were left under the care of their father. When asked about their father, the children, especially Taylor, have informed me that he wasn't there for them, due to his imprisonment in Azkaban. As a result, the three children have been put under care of other more responsible guardians. They have stated that they have felt abandoned several times, often feeling like neglected orphans.

Has Sirius Black's lack in parenthood cause his children to move in the wrong direction towards life?

When asked whether they have considered becoming Death Eaters, the children look at me with an expression of fear and guilt on their not-so-innocent faces.
"NO!" says Astrid quickly, trying to hide her guilt with a false look of surprise.
"Not at all!" blurts Taylor, the truth practically hidden in the denial.
"I'm not the right person for it. So no," mumbles Tristan hesitantly.

Here, we must interrupt this interview with a friendly reminder from the wonderful and esteemed Dolores Umbridge, "You mustn't tell lies, children."

It's quite obvious that these children do not follow Dolores Umbridge's philosophy, for they have lied to me, straight to my beautifully flawless gorgeous face that does not look a day over 30. (*cough*you hear that, Sirius?*cough*)

We, the fabulous readers of Rita Skeeter Weekly, know the real truth, don't we? Obviously, these children are secretly undercover Death Eaters in Training.

(Above: A suspected photo of Taylor, Astrid, and Tristan Black in Death Eater attire.)

We can only hope that Sirius Black's children change their minds on joining You-Know-Who's side.

If you suspect that anyone in your community is a Death Eater in Training, do not hesitate to contact the Auror Department in the Ministry of Magic. But not before you contact Rita Skeeter Weekly. ;)