Two years had passed without me being Squad Leader. I had two years to dump those wretched memories into a dark abyss. And I've almost succeeded.

Until, Erwin gave his orders yesterday. Now they've resurfaced plunging me back into that horrible fold of nightmares. As I sit upon my horse, gripping the reins I do my best to purge those thoughts.

I kept my eyes firm on the gate to the outside world, dismissing the commotion around me. I was reliving a nightmare worse than placing myself at risk for humanity.

But what good would it do if I were to show it? Or even dwell on it? All that matters was I keep everyone safe.

I barely felt the gentle tap upon my shoulder as I was too much into my thoughts. Turning to my left I was greeted with a small smile of a young Cadet. I couldn't help but narrow my eyes.

"Why aren't you with your squad?" I question rudely. Edward doesn't seem to notice the bitterness of my voice and shrugs.

"We got ten minutes," he observes. "I wanted to tell you good luck."

"Tch, I should be telling you that, Cadet," I scoff while shaking my head. "Just a reminder, this is your second time out the walls, not mine."

"I know," Edward said naturally. "But you look like this is your first time out the walls." He points to my face, his lips tugging into a frown. "You're pale."

An irk forms over my temple. My brow twitches and I grit my teeth. I turn away with the click of my tongue. The audacity of him to point it out.

"You're delusional," I snap. "I'm not scared if that's what you're thinking."

"I wasn't," he assures. "All I'm saying is good luck. Your Squad members have faith, you know."

I bite my lip, the weight over my heart becoming heavier. Despite the aching sensation radiating through me I take a hesitant look over my shoulder. Elise, Daniel, Sean, and Nat meet my troubling gaze. To my surprise they all give me an assuring nod. I manage a curt nod before turning back.

"Nat told me how excited she was to be in your squad." I look at Edward who gave me a smile.

I knew he only meant it in a good way but, I couldn't see it like that. It only made my insides twist and turn. I don't return his smile.

"What about you?" I ask instead. "Are you excited to be on Levi's squad?"
Edward grimaces in response. I huff at the strained smile of his. I figured as much.

"I mean, it's cool and all to be with the strongest man in the regiment," he admits awkwardly. "But Levi scares the crap out of me!"

A smile tugs at my lips and shows without my approval. I don't bother hiding it, seeing the glint in Edward's eyes stopped me.

"I'm the only Cadet in that squad, you know," Edward sighs. "It's kinda annoying."

I don't respond. I didn't have the heart to tell him his position was last minute. I take the chance to look over his shoulder.

I see Eld mindlessly looking around as he attempts to ignore Oluo's obnoxious remarks. However, my attention wasn't on them for long. My eyes graze over to Petra who was talking animatedly with a bright blush coating her cheeks.

I wasn't surprised by how glued she was to Levi's side. It was no secret she had strong feelings for the Captain. But when my eyes land on Levi I notice a ghost of a smile painting over his lips. A sour taste suddenly greets my mouth and I twist my face into a scowl.

"Do they really have to act so close before the mission?" I seethe. Oblivious of my anger, Edward glances over his shoulder.

"Ah, yeah," he agrees solemnly before turning back. "That's another annoying thing I got to deal with. You don't know how annoying it is."

Levi catches my stare and that small smile I've witnessed was now replaced with an accusing frown. I don't hold his tight gaze longer than needed and turn back with scoff.

"Believe me, I know," I grumble. A loud cranking fills my ears and I see the gate of Wall of Maria slowly rise. Edward notices too and sighs.

"Damn, here we go."

I glance to my left. Edward's eyes were firmly on the gate, his smile cracking at the edges. He tries his best to mask his fear as most do before a mission.

I release a heavy sigh and place a firm hand atop his shoulder. He jumps at the feeling and looks at me with wide eyes.

"You're one of the best Cadets I've seen," I say approvingly. "You're strong and agile. Just don't make it a plan to die, alright?" He blinks a few times, his jaw clamping together as he bears a wide a grin.

"Wasn't planning on it, Em! You keep yourself alive, I still don't know much about you." I huff and retract my hand.

"I'll make a deal with you. If we're both alive by the time we make it to the castle ruins then I'll answer three questions you have about me."

"That's barely nothing!" He complains with a pout. "I've got a lot, you know."

"Then, make sure to ask very good questions." I listen to him mutter a list of complaints, I suppress my laugh.

"Alright, fine!" He caves. "You better keep your end of the deal, then."

He leads his horse back to his squad. I don't fail to hear the scolding Levi gave when he returns. With my eyes back on the opened gate I found my fear to be a distant memory.

Those dark thoughts still lingered but I wasn't oppressed by them anymore. Instead, my mind was filled with Edward's assuring voice and gentle smile. I huff to myself while shaking my head. I must really be a coward if simple words calmed the rough waves crashing within me.

\/\/\/\/\/

Two hours passed. The ride across the grassy plains seemed shockingly peaceful. I didn't spot any Titan nor did any other group according to their smoke signals.

"Don't you think this is kinda strange?" I hear Daniel question thoughtfully from behind. "We're about twenty-five miles away from the walls and we haven't seen a single Titan."

Sean scoffs on my left. "What, are you itching that badly to slay one?"

Daniel hesitates as though he wished not to answer. "W-well I'm not that eager to."

"Can't you just enjoy being out the walls, Daniel?" Nat sighs. "You're spoiling the mood!"

"Am not!" He defends childishly. "Lieutenant Wolfram, tell her I'm not spoiling anything and I'm just observing!"

I've come to realize he was speaking to me. I glance over my shoulder to meet his hopeful gaze. Yet, Sean's eyes were coated with nervousness as he locks eyes with me. I never realized how reserved they were when they speak to me.

I release a heavy sigh, "Just keep your eyes peeled, alright? We can't let our guard down."

When I turn back the talking stops. I catch a few murmuring here and there but never heard what they said. I could care less, they can talk crap all they want but it won't change the fact we're in Titan territory.

I continue to lead in silence, failing to converse with my fellow members. I didn't see the point in it if any of us could die any moment. Especially those led by me.

"Lieutenant Wolfram!"

I jump out of my daze and perk to the sound of my title. I look to my left to see Nat staring wide eyed before us. I follow her gaze, every muscle in me stiffens at the sight.

A Titan was approaching us. I click my tongue hatefully. And so it begins.

"What are the orders?" Nat shouts as she rides by my side.

Quickly, I analyze the situation. No one in our ten mile radius had shot a red signal which meant we're the only ones to see a Titan. I stare at the horrible monster and it's open mouth.

"I'll take it out," I tell Nat firmly. I let go my reins and grab hold of my blades. I hear Nat panic beside me.

"By yourself?" She exclaims. "Shouldn't we do this as a squad?!"

"No!" My tone has caused the young woman to flinch but I didn't care. She makes no move to rebuke my statement. I look the Cadets who now stare at me worriedly. "You four stay on your horses! Elise, fire the red smoke signal!"

I press the trigger and launch my wire into the Titan's flesh. I ignore everyone's request to fight as well and feel myself being pulled into the air. No matter how much they wanted to fight, I wouldn't let them. I had little trust in in myself to protect them while in battle.

As I got closer to the Titan I swing myself behind its legs and slice the back part of their knees. I hear its roars of pain and feel a deep satisfactory at the sound. When it falls to the ground I launch myself into the air preparing for the final attack.

Its nape was completely exposed and it made no move to fight back. I was in the clear. Bringing my blades behind my head I propel myself downwards and swing my blades outwards. I slice the nape clean off hearing the last roar it'll ever make. Landing atop its head I nod in satisfaction.

"Not bad considering I couldn't slay one in the last four months," I mutter to myself. I flick the blood off my blades and hear the rushed clopping of horses nearing me.

"Lieutenant Wolfram! Two o'clock and eleven o'clock!"

When I meet Elise's anxious gaze and pale face a wave of confusion washes over me. I turn around to face those directions. My heart plummets to my stomach and I let out a string of curse words. Two Titans charge towards me, hands out ready to grab.

"Damn it! Where the hell you're coming from?" I shout with my blades ready. I didn't want to admit how rusty I was when I took down the last Titan. Taking two down may be pushing it.

"Everyone break formation!" I yell. "Avoid these Titans the best you can!"

I expected a firm yes ma'am, but such noise never filled my ears. Instead, I hear someone use their ODM gear. Popping from left and right I see Nat and Sean launching themselves towards the Titans. My insides lurch inside me while my heart pounds thunderously.

"You idiots!" I scream. "You'll get yourselves killed!"

I could only watch, my body failing me at the worst possible moment. It was happening again. I could feel that memory about to replay itself.

I grip my blades when I hear a battle cry. Nat had sliced off the arm of her respective Titan before aiming for the nape. It falls to the ground not long after

Sean sent the other to the ground as well. I was stunned into silence. I stare at the dead bodies and the steam emitting from their wounds.

"With all do respect, Lieutenant Wolfram. . ." I notice Nat hop off the Titan before locking eyes with me.

Her short, onyx hair was matted to her forehead. Sweat gleamed across her face and her chest rising and falling rapidly.

"We were trained for this," she tells me sternly. "It's the reason why we joined the Survey Corps."

"Yeah, have a little faith in us." I turn to Sean who now made his way towards Elise and Daniel. Both stationed themselves besides me and the dead Titan. He grabs his horse's reins.
"We're on a squad and we should fight like one. Not shoving you into battle alone."

No fighting words came to mind. I lost the will to even speak for I was too stunned by their proclamation. My mouth became dry and I silently jump off the head of the Titan. I walk towards my squad, I could feel their heavy gazes on me.

"We'll fight alongside you, Lieutenant Wolfram," Nat asserts with a small smile. "There's no need to tell us to stay away from the fight. We're capable of fighting too."

I bite the inside of my cheek. They don't know what I've through. They don't know the terror I was consumed with in that moment.

But as I look at each of my squad members and got a sense of their confidence. They proved their strength as well as their calm, cool collected attitude in battle to me. They were Cadets but still, they were determined to fight.

That was something I hadn't seen in a while. It brought a small smile to my lips.

"Just call me Emma." I give them a smile of a comrade. "You guys proved your fighting will to me. Good job."

A short period of silence passes though us. I watch the way they all look at each other with blank stares. Until Daniel sighs loudly with a grateful grin.

"We won't let you down, Emma." He smiles. Everyone follows his lead, sending me their friendly grins. I nod to their smiles, my lips tugging upwards in their trust in me.

/\/\/\/\

Is it just me that kinda ships Edward and Emma so far?

I'll get to Levi fluff soon! Promise!!
>.<

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