It was raining. I could smell the dense aroma the forest gave off. It was fresh and strong but, it wasn't something to be happy about outside the walls.

Rain meant unknown possibilities. It meant danger. It meant death.

Still, I gripped the reins of my horse and keeping my back slouched while my horse speeds through the plains. My cloak did little to keep me dry, I was starting to shiver.

"How many more miles till we reach the forest?"

Someone had galloped beside me. I glance over to my left to see a young man, he was my age, and his beautiful green eyes were upon me. His name was Chris.

Chris Downfall.

He's been such a loyal Scout to me ever since we started. Something leaps inside me, like my heart doing some sort of flip. But I push that feeling aside and clear my throat.

"About fifteen more miles, approximately." I reply. I turn my gaze back to the scenery ahead.

I listen to the gallops behind me. Twenty scouts. For the first time I was leading the charge.

Despite giving me a small number of Scouts, it was still a big risk and heavy responsibility. My mind lingers to hours before this mission, back to when Erwin and I argued till he could no longer say no. I was fervent and determined.

I knew more than he did, I scored higher than him in the academy when I decided to look at the records. Hell, I believe I was a better Commander than him. Despite being Captain, I wanted to prove myself even more.

He said this forest is swarming with Titans. It would be suicide if we travel through it. It was better if we went around.

I knew he was just scared to take a risk. We both knew it was the quickest way to reach the checkpoint we marked on our map. I estimated it three hours through forest and five going around.

When I made this point he had no choice but allow me to make a test run through the forest. If minimal Titans were spotted then we could travel through it. Everything depended on me this very moment.

I'll do everything in my power to prove how right I was. I began to see trees coming into view. They looked foreboding in the rain, a strong sense of caution started to well through me.

"Everyone, stay alert!" I shout. "Disperse into your respective squads!"

A firm yes ma'am was made and I glance over my shoulder to see everyone getting into position. Chris stays by my side but moves closer. My other members stay close behind.

"Emma, you're sure about this, right?" He asks me in a hush tone. "Is this worth it?"

His question was full of doubt, I could sense it. Despite the tough front he put up, I could see the doubt in his eyes. He glanced at me, his lips set to a firm line.

"We'll live, right?"

I nod immediately, my heart swelling when I see the hopeful smile coming across his lips.

"You know, when we go back into the walls," he starts with a sly grin. "We're telling people about us."

An amused chuckle vibrates within my throat. He's been quite set on revealing the news to everyone recently. I wasn't sure what has gotten into him but, seeing that little glimmer in his eyes had me grinning like an idiot.

"You're not going to drop that, are you?" I muse.

"Not until I get what I want," he replies with a wink.

"Of course. And that's to make me feel flustered as ever," I say with a shake of my head.

"Obviously," he laughs. "You're quite cute when you blush. In fact, that's my favorite—"

"TITANS AHEAD!"

I never realized we were already in the forest. There was minimal light, the rain not letting up and only becoming worse. But I could hear the running.

I could feel the ground move as my horse ran. Through the misty fog, I made out three Titans. Two seemed to be at least twelve feet, the other nine.
I curse loudly as I take out my blades.

"Squad Vincent, handle the nine foot one! Squad Lara, take the the twelve footer to our left! Squad—"

"Captain Wolfram! There are four more!" One of my members shouted. "Two o'clock!"

Turning to that direction I see the Titans running at us. They were huge and ran fast. Abnormals.

Currently there were seven Titans, more than the four squads currently with me. I click my tongue, I knew this would happen. But, that didn't mean I was about to give up.

"Alright! My squad will handle those abnormals!" I shouted, steering my horse to their direction.

"Caden, handle the eight foot titan! When you kill it, head for the abnormals too!"

The young captain shouts his confirmation before stewing his own members away. As I lead my squad towards the Titans I listen to the curses and prayers my members made. They unsheathed their blades, standing on their horses to get ready to use their ODM gear.

"Everyone, this shouldn't be different from our previous fights! Back up one another, don't underestimate these Titans!" I yell before shooting my wires to the branches.

I was launched into the air, attempting to gain enough momentum. I caught the attention of two Titans, quickly I aim my wires for ones shoulder and zoom over to them. I create a nice, clean cut on it's nape while diving down to avoid the other.

I was able to cut off its ankles but, it wasn't enough. Despite falling to the ground, it was still moving. It was crawling faster than I ever seen any other Titan. I swerved left and right, trying to launch myself back into the branches.

"Hey, I got this one!" Chris throws out a battle cry before down to meet the Titan. He does a three-sixty spin, slicing the nape clean off. I take it as a chance to shoot myself upward towards safety.

"Jeez, you were quick," I breathe while landing atop a branch.

"Well, you did teach me how to properly maneuver ODM gear," Chris smirks.

Our little break was short-lived, there was a scream heard in the distance. Turning our heads we see a Scout being pulled into a Titan's mouth. She becomes limp once it clamps its mouth over her. Watching the blood gush out of her body brought a shivering sensation down my spine.

"We have to make this quick," I say. "I don't want to see anymore casualties."

Chris nods, "Agreed."

With that we both dove into battle. Just like everyone we fought for our lives. But no matter how many we'd kill, the hoed continues.

I had lost count of the Titans I killed as well as many that's showing up. I began to realize how right Erwin's suspicion was. I wasn't sure how many Scouts were killed, all I could hear was their screaming.

It filled my head, and I became helpless. I was trying to save everyone but, they kept dying. I was unsure of what else to do.

My chest felt heavy as well as the blades in my hands. Landing on a nearest branch, I could sense all my blood rushing out of my face.

The scene was relentless. God, there was blood everywhere. Body parts thrown about, more than a dozen Titans flooding into the scene.

I drop to my knees, shaking to the core. My god what have I done? I stayed there watching in horror as my friends were being eaten alive. I wasn't sure how long I stayed that way.

"EMMA!"

My head automatically swerves to the direction. Chris was on a trunk, swinging his blades like a madman. Three Titans surrounded him.

He screamed and howled, hoping someone could help. No one came, not even me. He attempted to escape upwards but he was too slow.

He was seized by a Titan's hand, he screeched in terror. Turning to me he yelled for me to help him. He screamed and screamed but I couldn't move.

I could only watch. I wished he stopped screaming, it only made me want to scream too.

A sharp gasp escapes me, waking me from my horrible nightmare. I jolt in my chair, staring wide eyed before me. It took me only a moment to realize I was in the safety of my office and not in the dangers out the walls. Sweat had coated my forehead while my lips were chapped.

It was just a nightmare, I kept telling myself. It was a nightmare.

My hands shook viscously as I brought them to my face. I could almost feel the blood soaking them. It was happening more often now.

I dreaded each incoming night. Night meant terrors and wretched memories I wished to conceal. It meant remembering what I did and who I killed.

My hands trembled even more, I wrap arms around myself in hopes in stopping the shaking. It did nothing. My lip quivers while tears stream down my face. I wasn't like this.

My nightmares weren't as bad when I used to spend time with Levi. When we used have a thing, it was him that was constantly on my mind. Now, that I barely see him and only during times when we worked was difficult.

His touch, his voice, his everything placed me at ease. It was one of the reason why I came to like him. But now, I was alone.

My memories were now rushing back in like a flood. It was terrifying. A picture of Chris's horrified yet heartbroken face comes to my mind.

It brought my stomach to churn. He was dead because of me. My first love, my childhood friend died by my hands.

I didn't even try to save him. A stifling sob vibrates in my throat. When I tried to resist it came out like an ugly hiccup.

I cover my mouth with my hand as I attempt to silent my sobs. I squint eyes shut, hoping everything could stop.

"I'm sorry," I cry. "Chris, I—stop looking at me like that. I know I did wrong."

I felt his presence and the broken expression across his face. It was haunting. He was a ghost that I could never shrug off. No, he and the nineteen other Scouts will forever haunt me.

"I'm sorry!" I burst into tears, shaking violently. I weeped longer than I wished but I was feeling it all over again.

The fear, the pushing weight atop my shoulders, and the blood that will forever stain my hands. It was a sensation I wished to forget but Chris was making all too clear that he wouldn't let me forget him.

Why was I fool two years ago? How come I was an obnoxious, know-it-all girl? I should've listened to Erwin and I should've realized the dangers of the mission I up-took.

I was blinded by my cockiness and my stupid desire to prove myself. I was terrible, worse than any murderer imagined. I was a devil who belonged back in the pits of hell.

Why did I deserve to live while I watched the I one cared deeply about die before my eyes? The more I thought the more I wept. And the more I wept the more terrified I became.

My memories were too livid as they replayed in my head. I almost felt as if I was truly back in that moment. I could hear the endless screams in my head.

No longer could I drown them out anymore. Was I screaming too? I couldn't tell.

The screams of my fallen comrades were louder than anything else in this world. I held my head between my hands tightly as if I could squeeze those screams out of me. My throat began to hurt, I knew I was now screaming too.

For how long I don't know. But it I think it was long for me to hear pounding. Was it in my head?

Was it me trying to escape my horrors? The pounding a become louder, it only made me scream more. I wanted everything to end. I wanted everything to go away.

"Leave me alone!" I scream desperately. I shake my head violently, wishing myself dead than ridding in my own guilt.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

/\/\/\/\/\

So far, how do you enjoy Emma's character and part of her backstory?

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