**TRIGGER WARNING** Discussion of abuse.

You look at me

But what do you see?

A walking cliche 

To keep at bay

I open my mouth

These words tumble out

Uniquely designed

Concubine

Little devil is out to play

My coping skills are lacking

It's not due to my slacking

It is what it is (As they say) [3x]

Are you a skeptic?

Sure I'll just wreck it

This path isn't clear

So let's move against fear

What the scholars taught

I thought I had bought

What went wrong

When I wasn't strong

Is it calling you too?

Cover your face

Smell this distaste

It is what it is (As they say) [3x]

--The song Screaming Skin, lyrics by Orion Bauwens

Orion has no idea the following conversation happened. Even to this day, practically two decades later. If he knew I know he'd be pissed.

I don't know why Orion doesn't want people to help him. Is it because he's embarrassed? Maybe he doesn't want to burden people or some ridiculous crap like that. Or maybe it's because if he allowed people to help him, he'd have to admit something was wrong in the first place, and I know he doesn't like that.

A few days have passed since I saw Orion last. My dad is on the road, so it's just my mom, my sister, and I. I've been avoiding my mom because I don't want to have this uncomfortable conversation with her. At the same time I know I have to.

"Hey mom?" I ask, leaning against the door frame of the kitchen.

She looks up from the Sudoku puzzle she's doing and smiles. "Hi sweetie."

"Um, could we talk?"

"Of course," she says, not even batting an eye.

I come and sit across from her. I can't look at her in the face. "Um...I had a question, about how something works."

"Of course."

I scratch the nape of my neck. "What do you do if you think a kid is being abused by their parents?"

My mom takes in a quiet, sharp intake of breath. She then let's it out slowly. "Why?"

"Well," I say, looking at her. I then get nervous again so I just look at my lap. "I think someone I know is in a bad situation, but I don't think they can do much about it, but I wanna help them." I glance at her and I can feel my cheeks redden.

"Do you think this person," she says gently, leaning against the back of her chair, "would be willing to stand up for themselves and admit that they're being abused?"

My shoulders slump. "No."

"Unfortunately that makes things more complicated."

I look at her.

"I would speak on behalf of you. I would go to the police. There would be an investigation. Child services would probably get involved. But if the person being abused refuses to speak out against their parents, it's not going to go anywhere."

My forehead wrinkles and I suddenly feel like crying. I'm not anywhere as emotional as Orion though, so I don't even let tears form in my eyes.

My mom looks at me sympathetically. "It would become burden of proof, and it would quickly unravel into he said she said. What's worse is once everything settled, the parents probably wouldn't let you speak to their kid anymore."

I look back at my lap.

"And if you're coming to me with this, you obviously care about this person a lot."

I nod.

"And," she says gently, which honestly is just making everything ten times worse, "if these accusations were made, it unfortunately would probably make it worse for the kid at home. I can only assume the abuse would ramp up, even if just for a short while."

I nod, and now it is hard to see. But I'm really not the crying type so I just blink it away.

My mom tilts her head down so she can look at me in the face. "Jake, can I ask you something?"

I look at her and nod.

"Is it Orion?"

I look down.

"It's Orion, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not surprised." She sighs and shakes her head. Then, as a soft afterthought. "He's such a sweet boy..."

"We really can't do anything?"

"Unless Orion is willing to stand up for himself, no. We could, but like I said already it probably would just make things worse."

"That's bullshit!" I shout. I can't help myself. Normally I'd get in trouble for the language but my mom lets it slide. "You saw how his parents were at the office! That lady smacked him and they didn't even flinch!"

"I know." She reaches across the table, squeezing my arm. "The best I can suggest is talk with him."

I shake my head. "This is such bullshit..."

"Regardless, please let him know he can come over as often and for as long as he likes."

I look at her. "Do you mean that?"

"100%. Whatever keeps him safe. He can sleep here for all I care."

"But that's--that's another mouth to feed."

"So? It would just go back to as though your father was around more."

"But--where would he sleep?"

My mom smiles at me. "There's a couch. We can get an inflatable bed for the basement."

I get up and go to her. I squeeze her tightly, putting my head on her shoulder. "Thanks, mom."

She kisses my cheek. "Talk to him? Okay?"

"He probably won't listen," I tell her, pulling away. "He's stubborn like that. He doesn't like help."

She sighs again. "Please try."

"I will."

~

"So what's your band name? You never told me."

"It's Asshats"

I raise my head from where I had been tuning my guitar. Stacy is standing by the open garage door, grinning. I flip her off.

"Hey!" Orion says. He goes to her and gives her a brief hug, which she returns.

It makes me smile. They're not so awkward around each other anymore. I also think maybe something happened recently, because they walk hand in hand over to a cooler and a lawn chair which they sit down on. I look at Ben and raise my eyebrows, but he merely shrugs at me.

"Seriously--what's the name of your band?" Orion asks again.

"Astronauts," I reply, finishing up my tuning.

"No," Stacy says, grinning again, "it's Asshats, like I said."

"I think I like Stacy's name better," Orion says, laughing.

"Fuck off, both of you."

"So we're thinking about doing Battle of the Bands this upcoming school year," Ben tells Stacy and Orion.

"That's cool," Orion replies.

"What do you guys think you'll be playing?" Stacy asks.

Ben and I look at each other. "What, like a set list?"

"Well yeah," she replies, "you guys need to decide like, now, what you're going to play so you can practice it all summer and make it perfect."

"That's actually a really great idea!" Ben says.

Orion groans besides Stacy. "Were you guys seriously going to just go into the Battle blind?"

"Well, no..." I say, feeling myself color. "We'd figure it out once school started..."

"That'd only leave you a couple weeks!"

"That'd be enough," Ben defends, but he doesn't sound convinced himself.

Orion rolls his eyes. "You also can't go into it with a lame name like Astronauts."

"Hey!" I snap, glaring. "What's wrong with that name?"

"It's boring," he says immediately.

"It's lame," Stacy says.

"There's no substance."

"It leaves nothing to the imagination."

"It just--"

"Sucks," they both say together.

"Well neither of you are even in the damn band," Ben says, "so it's not like you get a say, anyway."

Orion narrows his eyes. "Just change the name before the contest."

Ben looks at me, and I can already tell we're going to be changing the band name.

~

The four of us hang out all day and into the night. Ben, Orion, and Stacy stay for dinner. The entire time I keep a sly eye on Orion and Stacy. They're acting differently, not only with each other but around each other. I'm hoping to get Orion cornered at some point, but they never leave each other's side.

No one goes home until ten PM. Ben's mom picks him up, and Orion and Stacy leave with him. After I say goodnight to everyone, I remember I have to take the trash to the curb for tomorrow's pickup. I go through the attached garage, because it's easier to wheel the bins out from the side of the house. As I walk my head is craned down, dragging the wheeled bins behind me to the curb out front.

When I'm done putting them out, I pick my head up. I'm surprised to see that Orion and Stacy are still on my porch, illuminated by the faint light. They have their arms wrapped around each other, kissing, completely oblivious to my presence.

I smile and quietly slip back into my house the way I came.