Like guns all around us

You were too kind

I was too blind

Always on the hunt

With piercing precision

Looking for more time

You're a surgeon

Slashing with your scalpel

Lick my cynical mind

Do I taste like murder?

Took a head full of muck

Sold it for a buck

Say my name

Like you can't get enough

I've gotten under your skin

A rash that won't leave

Back when we couldn't conceive

This horror

Like guns all around

You were frantic

And I was panicked

When the world gets too much

We can slow down, no rush

You were too kind

I was too blind

Like guns all around

We never made a sound

--The song Static Weapons, lyrics by Orion Bauwens

"You're a snot nosed, entitled, little fucking brat!"

"And you're a crotchety old man! Blow me!"

"No!"

Orion slams the door to our studio, the larger one where we perform and record as a group. I like this room, with it's blue acoustic walls and the various instruments strewn everywhere. The floor is tiled white linoleum, and comfortable black chairs are scattered about. Music stands are littered around, reminding me of small metal trees.

Ben and I freeze, gawking at him. Orion is fuming. We don't say anything as he paces back and forth, occasionally growling (literally), face bright red. When he finally sits, I raise my eyebrows.

"Was that Paul?"

"Yeah."

"So that's not a thing anymore?" Ben asks.

"I'd imagine not," Orion tells Ben, glaring at nothing.

"Uh," I say, "that sounded intense--"

"Yeah, it was, and I don't wanna talk about it."

"No offense, but I think half of EMI heard you two..."

Orion glares. So I drop the subject and shrug. "Whatever. It freaked me out because he was way older than you, anyway."

"That's why I was with him." He glares. "He was experienced."

"Okay, I did not need to know any of that," Ben says, shuddering dramatically, "Let's just not talk about this anymore, okay? Let's talk about OUR SOLD OUT SHOW TONIGHT!"

"Dude," I say, grinning and shaking Orion, "with the money from this, we'll have enough to buy our own tour bus for when we go on tour!"

Orion smiles faintly, so I continue to shake him. "Come on! We won't have to rent one like we had planned!"

"That means more money in our pockets!" says Ben.

When Orion still doesn't seem like himself, I kneel down in front of him. "Hey. Who needs that crotchety old man like you said, yeah? You're fucking Orion Bauwens. You just had your first sold-out show. We have another one tonight. You can have anyone you want."

He smirks at that. I knew stroking his ego would work. After a second he nods.

Orion grins. "Thanks Jake. You are absolutely right."

~

Maybe it was because he was working out his frustration with Paul. Maybe it was knowing he was singing for literally thousands of people. Whatever it was, the concert we gave that night was superb.

It was energetic, we played wonderfully. The crowd was responsive, loving, frenzied. Orion mid-show took the time to do a quick impromptu Q&A. He even went to the edge of the stage, squatted down, and cupped his ear so he could hear people. And when that didn't work, he said, "Shut the fuck up everyone," and surprisingly they did.

It was everything I had ever dreamed of and more. I was bewildered as to why rock stars did drugs. This experience was a drug in it of itself, I wasn't going to need anything else. I had definitely found my calling. We had most certainly found our calling.

So you can imagine my confusion when we went home after the concert and Orion started drinking. We were still living at Orion's parents, and when we got home in the early morning hours, Orion grabbed a six pack before we headed to his room.

"What's wrong?" I ask him quietly as I take a seat on his bed, not wanting to disturb his parents in the next room over.

"Wrong?" he asks with a quiet laugh. "Nothing's wrong. I'm celebrating!"

I roll my eyes. "You really shouldn't do that..."

Orion downs the rest of his first drink before shaking his head. "I'm just trying to get some liquid courage."

I cock my head to the side. "For what?"

Suddenly Orion is before me, and after looking at me for a moment he closes his eyes and kisses me.

I'm stunned. I freeze. I don't even close my eyes. Once it registers in my brain what he's doing, I shove him off me.

"Dude!"

Orion looks surprised. "Sh!"

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Uh. Kissing you?"

I'm furious, and it's really hard to stay quiet. So I scream-whisper at him. "What the fuck happened to, 'I'm never going to feel like that about you'?"

He's starting to look panicked. "Uh--I changed my mind?"

I cross my arms. "Oh really?"

"Maybe?"

I glare and get to my feet. "I don't know what the fuck all this was about--I don't know if you're wallowing over Paul or some shit--but I just wanted to thank you for ruining an otherwise perfect night."

I yank open the door to the basement where I've been sleeping. Orion looks pained.

"Jake, wait--"

But I don't. I flip him the bird, glare, and go into the basement for the night.

~

"So! What kind of tour bus do you guys want?"

Orion is in Business Mode. But I don't care, barely paying attention. I'm sitting across from Ben and Orion at the long faux wood conference table, arms crossed, swiveling back and forth in my chair, glaring at the grey and purple carpeted ground. I'm still fuming over Orion kissing me the other night.

We haven't spoken since. He tried to, but I've absolutely refused. If he thinks he can just do that to me, he's wrong.

It's honestly made me question our friendship, which really sucks. We just made it with Saturn Mutants and he had to go and screw that up. He just completely and utterly over stepped a boundary.

Then again, I guess I did, too, back when I kissed him a few months ago. Now I understand why he reacted how he did. Which only makes me regret doing that even more. Had I never kissed him in the first place, I wouldn't be in this predicament now.

"Are you listening, Jacob?"

I look up. Orion has his eyes narrowed on me, looking completely unamused. I glance at Gloria and Ben; they both look slightly worried. I look back at Orion and give him a smile.

"Yeah. Sure, that's great. I agree. Whatever you want."

Orion outright glares. "Could I have a word with you, privately, out in the hallway?"

I don't respond. Orion gets to his feet, palms on the table. "Now?"

I swallow thickly and get to my feet. I can feel Gloria and Ben watch us as we leave. Very calmly Orion quietly shuts the door behind us. I lean against the wall, looking up and down the corridor with blue carpet, light blue walls, and conference rooms. On the walls are various pictures of people who work for EMI.

"Look," Orion says sharply, drawing my attention. "I get it. That was a shitty thing of me to do. I'm sorry, I get it."

I purse my lips and he glares.

"But do not let what happened interfere with work, got it? Work is work, interpersonal is interpersonal. The two cannot overlap."

There's so much I was to say to him. How can we keep the two separate when we live together and work together? How can this not overlap when you kissed me? How am I supposed to be able to concentrate on anything else, because every time I look at you all I can think about is how angry I am with you?

When I become lost in those thoughts, Orion moves to go back into the conference room. I grab his wrist, stopping him. Orion looks at me, surprised.

"Why? That's all I want to know," I tell him quietly. "Why?"

Orion pauses a second, and then answers honestly. "Because I'm attracted to you. Sorry, it won't happen again."

And before I can answer he slips away.

~

"This one. I want this one."

Orion is over the moon. It was a nice bus. When you first board there's six rows of seating on either side, three seats deep. Near the back is the first bathroom. Past that is a living room type area, complete with off white rug, a beige couch, a beige armchair, and a table. Beyond that is another section which has a mini-bar consisting of a blue counter top which rests on top of the cooler (on our side it's black, but when you go around the cooler is clear so you can see all the drinks). The wall behind it is blue with metallic silver flakes. Finally in the back is another bathroom (this one slightly larger with a sink and standing shower stall), and a small room with a bed.

That's where we are currently. Orion has his head sticking out of the hatch he found in the ceiling that leads to the roof. His upper body strength is admittedly impressive as he holds himself up. He sounds like a little kid on Christmas.

"This one is so cool." He looks down at us. "Can we afford this one Gloria? Please tell me we can. It's perfect! And to be fair we can even rotate nights for who gets to sleep in the bed!"

Gloria laughs. "I wouldn't be showing this to you if it wasn't in the budget, pumpkin."

Orion clambers down. He looks so hopeful, grinning at Ben and I.

"What do you guys think? Huh?"

Ben looks at me. It's... okay. But then I look at Orion again.

It's been a few weeks since he kissed me and honestly? I'm still pissed at him. I'm pissed because I was trying really hard for a long time to just be his platonic friend, but now here we were, and I felt like he was toying with me. Shaking my head to clear it, I tried to just focus on picking out a bus and not what I was going through with Orion. Like he said--business is business.

I could see how much hope Orion had in getting this bus, which made me want to agree to the purchase. Furthermore, knowing what kind of shitty life he was coming from, I would give him the world if I could. Yet a part of me wanted to say no to the purchase just out of pure spite.

I couldn't dash his dreams like that, though.

I smile. "If you like it then I like it."

The smile disappears from Orion's face. "That's not what I asked..."

"Whatever you want, Orion. Seriously."

He narrows his eyes. "Jacob."

"What?"

"That was a diplomatic as fuck answer."

Ben is looking between us. Gloria has her head craned down to look at her tablet, but I can tell she's not actually doing anything.

"What, I can't be nice?"

"You're not being nice, you're being weird. I asked for your damn opinion."

I poke him in the chest. "You're the leader Orion. Do whatever you want." I glare. "Lord knows you do anyway."

Before Orion can lose his shit Gloria steps in. Literally. She shoves herself between Orion and I.

"Guys!" she snaps. "I don't know what beef y'all got going on lately, but we resolve this now. Right now. I've seen this shit tear bands apart so come on. Out with it."

"It's personal," Orion says, crossing his arms and looking away.

"Remember? One of the hats I wear is HR?"

"Yeah, not for this," Orion says.

"Fine. Then I quit."

"What?" the three of us shout together.

Gloria looks at us. "I love you guys, but I'm not going to manage a dysfunctional band that just limps along because they have to when they hate each other's guts--"

"Orion kissed me!" I blurt out, panicked over losing Gloria.

Orion looks pissed. When he opens his mouth though, it's not for the reason I expected. "You kissed me first!"

"That was months ago!"

"Well you put the idea in my head!"

Out of the corner of my eye I can see a very uncomfortable looking Ben, and a completely bewildered Gloria.

"I don't give a damn what I did, you said you weren't interested!"

"Because I'm not!"

"Then why did you kiss me?!"

"I don't wanna date you!"

"Oh, so what, you just want to sleep with me like Paul--"

Ben sits down, looking like he wished the sky would open up and strike him down.

"Guys," Gloria growls.

We ignore her.

"What? No!"

"Then what do you want Orion?"

"Guys," Gloria says a bit louder.

"Because seriously, that was a really shitty thing you did! If you don't want to be with me, and you don't want to sleep with me, then what the fuck do you want, Orion? Or are you just fucking with me because you're bored?"

"I don't know what I want, okay?" Orion shouts at me.

"ENOUGH!"

We all look at Gloria. "Aye dios mio, si hubiera sabido estaba caminando en una telenovela, yo no hubiera tomado el trabajo..."

She shakes her head and then glares at me and Orion. "Work and romance do not work, got it? That's why most places of work strictly forbid it. It rarely ends well, it just makes everything awkward when things go south, and it would make everything especially awkward and weird and terrible seeing as you'll be stuck on a tour bus together. For months at a time."

Orion and I are looking at our feet. I can only imagine how poor Ben is doing. After this I'll buy him whatever he wants, or do whatever he wants. I have to make this up to him, it's got to be really uncomfortable.

Gloria is looking between us. After a moment she puts her hands on her hips. "Well?"

I jump at her voice. I look up at Orion. He's looking at me shyly. I look back down. "You're right. Stupid idea."

"Very," Orion says.

"Alright. So, stop canoodling each other and everything will be fine. Clear?"

"Clear," we say quietly together.

"Good. Now." She sighs heavily. "Are we buying this damn bus or not?"