Grey Burgers And Tri-Colored Rainbows

Revulsions, compulsions, silent rotations

We'll visualize this death like a sweet spring rain

Cauterizing the pain

That's kept you dead all these years

You'll discover I'm disposable

The fevered emotions hard to pin down

So sell me a lie

Something sweet like a lullaby

For me to rest my weary head on

--From the song Infinity, lyrics by Orion Bauwens

FRESHMAN YEAR

I hate this. This is lame. And this stupid school song everyone is singing is even lamer. I'm refusing to participate, looking around at everyone.

I can't believe the enthusiasm. This isn't even the fucking first day of school and everyone is brainwashed already. They taught us this stupid song, in this stupid auditorium, and now everyone is singing it like their life depends on it. Or like they might win a medal or something. Honestly I'm getting a headache from everyone's scream-singing.

"I could write better lyrics than this..." I mumble to myself, crossing my arms.

"I know, right?"

I look to my right. Sitting there is a boy my age. Well, of course he's my age, because we're the incoming Freshman class. Duh.

I'm intrigued immediately. First is the fact I've never seen him before in my life. A majority of the kids here I recognize. Our stupid ass school district in Michigan isn't that big...so either this guy is a total new transfer, or he went someplace that wasn't Dunham.

Which would be crazy. That would mean he came from Treegrove, which is on the other side of town and is a shit hole. Most people who come from there end up dropping out of high school when they're old enough.

Secondly I'm surprised by how this guy looks. His hair is long-ish, stringy, hanging in his eyes. It's black--freshly dyed. His eyes are some of the darkest eyes I've ever seen. You can't really tell the difference between his iris' and pupils. He's dressed head to toe in black to boot.

He's also pale. Like, a porcelain doll pale. Like--is he gonna faint?!--pale. As I can't help but stare, I notice how red his lips look on account of his paleness. It's then I notice he has a lip ring. I look back up to his eyes, and I can't tell if he's wearing light eyeliner or if that's just an effect from his black lashes against his white skin.

The boy looks at me, smiling softly. He's slumped in his chair, as low as he can be without falling out of it. His arms are crossed, too.

I smile. "Pretty terrible."

He sits up a little straighter, his dark eyes looking at me brightly. He seems...happily surprised I'm talking to him. "I'm sure we could sneak away. I wanna smoke."

My smile slips away. "I...don't smoke."

The smile leaves his face, too. He then shrugs nonchalantly. "Suit yourself."

I watch in awe as he somehow manages to slip away through a crowd that is a couple hundred people deep without being noticed, just a black ink smear against the background.

~

"Jacob Larson."

"Here," I say immediately raising my hand. "Please call me Jake."

"Alright," my bio teacher says, pulling the pencil out from behind her ear, "let me make a note of that on my chart...Orion Bauwens?"

"Here."

A boy near the front raises his hand. I can't help but stare. It's the boy from the previous Friday, at orientation. The one all in black that I sat next to.

"It's ori-on," the boy continues. "I know, that's not how you fucking say it, it's supposed to be o'ryan, but my parents are fucking idiots, what can I say?"

The class cracks up, myself included. For a moment the teacher just gawks at him, not knowing what on Earth to do. After blinking several times, she exclaims.

"Orion!"

"It's ori-on," he corrects again, causing more laughter.

"Do you want a detention before we even start the first day of school?!"

Orion turns his head right, looking at the clock. "Technically, Ms. Ketter, we have started school..."

Her mouth flops open and closed as everyone is in stitches. Her face goes red then, and she points to the door. "Out in the hallway! Now!"

Orion sweeps up his backpack (black, of course), and saunters towards the door. As he passes, she glares. "And you had better stay there. I'll be out once I finish attendance."

"Can't wait!" he says chipperly, waving, before slamming the door behind himself.

I can tell already it's going to be an interesting year.

~

"Are you stalking me?"

I lift my head from where I had been looking at the ground. I just walked into music class. Lo and behold, it's Orion.

I grin immediately. He's already giving me a wolfish one. I like how when he smiles his eyes get all small and squinty. He's sitting on a chair (improperly, of course, his feet in the seat with his ass balanced on the back of the chair), guitar in hand.

I rush over. "I can't believe you did that in Ketter's class! Are you insane?"

He nods to a chair. "Take a seat."

I do as he's told me, but I sit like a normal human being does. "What did Ms. Ketter say to you?"

"The usual," he replies, looking down at his instrument and strumming it gently, tuning it. "I better shape up the rest of the year, it's going to be a good year, blah blah blah."

I can't help but raise my eyebrows. "'The usual'? How often do you get talks like that from teachers?"

Orion looks at me, grinning. "You don't wanna know."

I laugh. "I'm Jake, by the way."

"Bytheway? Damn, that's a long last name."

I laugh. "Ha ha, very funny Orion," I say, pronouncing it how he told our teacher to. "Nice lip ring."

Absentmindedly he sucks it into his mouth. "Thanks."

"Did it hurt?"

"Not too bad. I did it myself, so I saw it coming and could brace myself."

I nearly fall over. "You pierced your own lip?!"

He gives me a sidelong look. "Yeah...All I did was heat up a safety pin and jab it in..."

I wince. Orion shrugs and goes back to tuning.

The warning bell rings--one more minute until class starts. "Where do you come from?"

Orion shakes his head, smirking. "Earth."

"You're a smart ass, you know that?"

"So I've been told..."

"Seriously."

Orion sucks his ring into his mouth again, but this time it has a nervous undertone. "Uh...if I--if I tell you, you have to promise you won't think any differently of me?"

I grin. "Promise."

"I went to Treegrove..."

I shrug. "Nothing wrong with that."

He looks at me in wonder. "It's a veritable shit hole."

"Veritable? Sorry, I don't know what that means."

"It's a shit hole, Jake."

I shrug as the bell rings, the last few people rushing into class. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. It's a school for low-income families--so? I like you. You're nice."

To my surprise, a blush explodes over his cheeks. Embarrassed, he looks down, fringe falling over his forehead and obscuring his eyes. "T-thanks..."

I don't even mean to say what I say next, it just slips out. "You don't hear that a lot, do you?"

His head snaps up, red lips a small 'o', eyes wide. "N-no..."

I could barely hear him. He blinks profusely, and then kinda shakes his head as though to clear it. He nods to the front of the room where the teacher now stands. "Sh, class is about to start."

I smirk. Since when does he care about class?

~

"Okay, that's it. Now I know you are following me."

I turn just in time to see Orion walk past. He drops his lunch tray onto the table with a loud clatter, slumping in his seat. He leans his cheek against his palm, immediately picking apart his burger with a disgusted look on his face.

I laugh. "Hey, Ori."

He raises his eyebrow at me and then flicks his eyes back down, still deconstructing his burger.

"Orion, this is my best friend Ben."

"Hi," Ben says, his usual kind self.

Ben extends his hand and without even lifting his head, Orion shakes it.

"Are we supposed to eat this shit?" Orion says as disgusted and offended as he looks.

Ben is already halfway done with his burger.

"So Orion and I are in music together," I tell Ben excitedly, twisting in my chair to face Ben. "He plays a mean guitar."

"Seriously," Orion continues, now ducking down to view the underside of the patty, "this thing is grey."

"It's not bad," Ben tells him around his mouthful.

I roll my eyes. "Anything compared to your mom's cooking isn't bad, Ben."

To my astonishment, Orion takes the patty, palm up, raises his hand three times. Then he looks around quickly and flings it into the air. All of our necks snap up. My jaw drops open when it sticks to the ceiling.

Orion looks smug, shaking his head. "Yeah, definitely not eating that..."

As he picks at the floppy lettuce and nibbles on the tomato, I continue to gush at Ben.

"He's like a musical genius," I say.

Orion turns bright red, ducking his head. "I am not..."

"How long have you played for?" Ben asks around his food again.

"Uh. Like...two years now?"

"Nice!"

"I play viola..." he mumbles then, looking a little embarrassed. "I've played that longer..."

"Oh," Ben says, "so you already know music."

"Oh yeah, definitely. It's my escape."

I can tell he didn't mean to say that. He looks away timidly, cramming the top half of the bun into his mouth.

"We have a band," I tell Orion excitedly. "I play guitar and Ben does drums."

Orion looks mildly interested. "You guys any good?"

"We've been practicing all summer."

"Mmm. Sounds fun."

"You should totally join!"

Orion crams the other bun into his mouth and shrugs. "'Aybe."

"Do you sing?" I ask.

Orion's eyes become a bit larger, his cheek a huge puff from the bun. He looks funny, and I can't help but laugh. He shakes his head at me.

Ben's shoulder's slump. "Oh. Too bad. We need a singer..."

Orion washes the food down with the entire carton of milk...which he then chucks behind his shoulder. Without looking. He wipes off his hands.

I watch him as he then takes his tray, slipping it under the table. He dumps the plate and uneaten fries under the table, bringing up his empty food tray...which he then slides down the table. A few people protest and he merely flips them off.

Ben blinks. "Er. I would've eaten the fries..."

Orion winks at him. "I'll remember that for tomorrow."

"You're kinda a jerk," I tell him brazenly.

He looks at me, blinking a few times. I can tell he's weighing how to respond. Finally he sighs, slouching down and putting his cheek against his palm.

"No, not really. Just bored."

That makes Ben laugh. I roll my eyes.

"So," Ben asks, "what's with the black?"

Orion sits up. "Huh?"

"Your clothes. You think you're edgy, or the next Johnny Cash?"

"Oh!" He laughs a bit. "Neither. I'm colorblind and it's easier for me to just go with one color."

I can't tell if he's serious or not. He seems serious. But this kid seems like a bit of a firecracker. "Wait, are you serious?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

He screws up his face. "Why would I lie about something like that?"

"That's so cool!"

"Uh, I--I guess?"

"I've never known anyone who's colorblind! What do you see?"

"There's actually different kinds of colorblindness..."

I can feel my eyes go huge. "Woah."

"Mine is tritanopia. So, uh...hmm. How to explain this..."

He scratches his head a moment. "So like, I can see red really well, and blue really good, but... that's about it? I mean, I see shades of blue and red, and dark colors look either gray or black, and purple looks black, and yellow I can't see correctly at all, I see pink."

"Pink?"

"Yeah." Orion laughs, but it's this strange, high-pitched, almost stuttering laugh. "Now do you see why I always wear black?"

"What's it like going your entire life not knowing what purple looks like?"

Orion laughs again. "Uh, I d'no? Because I've never fucking seen it, Einstein?"

Ben and I laugh.

"Wait--" Ben says, "you said dark colors look black, and then purple looks black...How can you tell black is black when you pick clothes?"

Orion rubs the back of his neck, mumbling. "I have to go shopping with my mom to make sure I'm grabbing the right clothes..."

He obviously expected us to make fun of him. However, Ben and I aren't like that.

"How did you figure out you were colorblind?"

"I couldn't learn my colors."

Ben punches me in the shoulder. "Duh."

"How do you know about purple and yellow if you can't see them?" I ask, rubbing my shoulder.

Orion sighs. "I know there are colors called that? Like I know mustard isn't actually pink, it's yellow, whatever that means."

"We can stop talking about it," Ben says earnestly. "Didn't mean to make you sigh."

The side of Orion's mouth turns up into a cute little smile. "Naw, it's okay. I just explain this a lot."

"Seriously, we'll stop--"

"But," Orion cuts Ben off, "I've never had anyone ask so many questions. It's nice."

"So then what about the sun?!" I say.

"Dude," Ben says, his eyes going wide. "What about sunlight?"

Orion laughs at us. "Well... it's pink."

"Pink?!" we say together in disbelief.

"Yeah...So like, let's say we were to go outside, right now."

"Yeah?" I ask eagerly, practically on the edge of my seat.

"And like, we'd go to that courtyard that has all the trees."

"Uh-huh?"

"So where the sun is really bright, and where the sunlight hits, like the leaves and stuff, it's this really bright pink. And then everything else is kinda, well, green? I guess? Like green-blue?"

"Woooooooah."

Orion chuckles.

"What about water on a lake?" Ben asks excitedly.

"Pink in the light. Otherwise blue-ish?"

"Trees?"

"The bark is kinda muted, kinda grey, and then the leaves are pink, assuming they're in light...If not then the leaves are grey-ish? I see a lot of shades of grey, guys."

"A rainbow!" I chime in.

"Red-white-light blue," he answers immediately.

"What?" says Ben.

"Does the sky look different?"

"I think so," Orion says. "People tell me there's this color called...well, sky blue. But to me I guess it's what's called teal?"

"This is so wild," Ben says with a huge grin on his face.

"If you're really that into it, Google it...there are plenty of pictures online."

"Totally doing that when I get home!" I say.

"Does it make you sad?" Ben asks suddenly.

Orion gives a lopsided smirk. "Naw. It's all I've known. I have a lot to be sad about--being color-blind isn't one of 'em."

Before either of us can respond, there's an audible thwack!. We all jump, surprised. Orion makes a face as the burger he had thrown at the ceiling landed on his head. Ben and I crack up as Orion picks bits and pieces out of his hair, looking disgusted.

"You totally deserved that," I tell him.

Orion flips me off, but he's laughing with us.

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