**CONTENT WARNING** Sex scenes, reader discretion advised.

Sometimes you stop and I want to go

Can't we move on, just go with the flow

Don't tell me your lies

Your sorry goodbyes

You make me so pissed

I just want the tryst

Don't stare too deeply into the void

Stare too long and you'l become soiled

Realizing I need this thing

Even if it will sting

This bitter Hell I gladly embrace

Just slow down and let me give chase

I won't hurt you, not very much

Or at least I tell myself such

Don't make me wait

Don't agitate

Say farewell to caution

--the song Farewell, lyrics by Orion Bauwens

"Orion. Orion."

Orion jumps, opening his eyes. They focused on myself and Ben as he yawns and stretches. Confused, he looks out the window. We were in front of his house. He then blinks back at us.

"C'mon," I said, tilting my head towards our houses. "We're home."

Ben got out first and then me. Orion was half asleep. He slipped on some ice and grabbed onto my arm. I steadied him.

"Yo Ben," I said. Ben stopped and looked at me. "I'm gonna make sure Orion gets in okay."

"Alright. See ya."

"See ya. Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year."

Orion is shivering against me. I wrap my arm around him, holding his hand, making sure he doesn't slip again and eat cement. He fumbles with his keys on account of his shaking.

"F-f-fuck it's cold!"

"Hey, at least you didn't fall asleep out in it like my dumb ass," I smirk.

Orion finally gets the door open. We hurry inside and the first this he does is rush over to the thermostat, cranking the heat up.

"Alright," I say. "Just wanted to make sure you didn't eat shit on the ice. I'll see ya--"

"Wait."

I cock my head to the side. The expression Orion has on his face is...unusual. I can't quite place it. He looks almost guilty? Or maybe it's apprehensive? I can feel my brow furrow.

"What's up?"

He looks down a second and then looks back up at me. "Um. I'm kinda lonely. Um. Do you think--do you think maybe you might stay?"

I'm a little caught off guard. "Oh...sure. I'll be here when you wake up, okay? I'll crash in a room upstairs--"

"That's not--that's not what I meant."

He's suddenly blushing.

"I'm confused," I admit.

Orion takes a deep breath and then walks forward. He looks at me a moment with his deep brown eyes. Then he gently cups the back of my neck, leans in, closes his eyes, and kisses me.

I want to be pissed. I want to shove him off me. And maybe it's the hangover, or maybe it's that I'm tired and am still stunned over how I had spent my New Year's Eve...but I don't give a fuck. So instead of screaming at him I wrap my arms around his waist and kiss him back.

Before long he's tearing at my clothes and I'm letting him. We don't even make it halfway up his carpeted stairs. He's raking his fingernails down my sides, and he's sucking on my neck, and holy fuck did it feel good. Then he starts kissing my collar bone, grazing his teeth against it. Without even meaning to, I buck my hips up. Kissing me deeply, Orion begins to fumble with my belt buckle.

"W-w-wait," I tell him, sitting up.

He looks hungry. He also looks slightly annoyed. He looks fucking sexy, his snowy cheeks flushed. "What?"

I know I'm already red from being turned on. But I can feel myself blush at the words that are stumbling out of my mouth. "I don't know--I'm not--I'm a--"

Orion chuckles, taking the opportunity to properly unbuckle my pants. He flicks his eyes up as he does, smirking. "Jake, I know you're a virgin. I don't care. Relax."

Once my belt is unbuckled, he swiftly unbuttons my pants and unzips them. He licks his hand and I gulp. He stops though, hand hovering over my boxer-covered erection, not touching me. He looks at me seriously.

"I don't want to fuck this up for you," Orion tells me quietly. "If I do anything you're not comfortable with, stop me. Understand?"

I gulp again and nod.

I had nothing to worry about though, because all he did that first time was give me a hand job. Even so...it was a new experience, and I loved it. When I climaxed I was a babbling mess. He was growling in my ear about how I better cum for him, his hot breath cascading down my ear and neck, and it was the single hottest thing I had experienced.

I wanted to do something for him, but I didn't know what, and I was spent. Orion wasn't looking for much in return though, luckily. He simply straddled me while I was still in my haze, assaulting my neck with kisses and sucking, licking my collar bone, masturbating until he came--which didn't take long. When he was done he collapsed next to me on his back, arms outspread, staring up at the chandelier that hung above our heads with half-closed eyes.

Once we both recovered we looked at each other. For a long while we didn't say anything. It wasn't an awkward silence. It wasn't an angry silence, or a regretful silence. It just...was.

Then, breaking whatever spell we were both under, Orion got to his feet. "Sorry for the mess. Uh, you can--you can grab a towel or something."

I looked down at my shirt. "Er...can I use your washing machine maybe?"

"Oh. Uh, yeah. Sure. It's in the--"

I smile. "Basement. Yeah, I know."

"Right. So, uh, I'm gonna go--"

"Orion."

He looks at me, bewildered.

"Um..." I get to my feet myself, unbuttoning my shirt and then looking down. "I'm really tired from last night. Could I, um, maybe, crash here for a few hours?"

Orion smirks, a rather cocky look. "Only if you sleep in my bed."

So I spent the rest of the morning on that New Years day spooning Orion, sleeping.

~

"Jesus Christ, dude, what happened to your neck?"

I feel myself blush furiously. Ben is laughing at me. It's now the third of January, and we've all gathered to work. We're at Orion's house.

Self-consciously I lean my palm against the side of my neck and glare.

Ben is still laughing. "That does nothing. The whole other side is covered in marks."

I glare at Orion. Orion holds his hands up. "Hey--I'm not saying anything."

I'm pleased with that response, because I'm sure from Ben's perspective it was a, 'hey, don't glare at me' type of thing. But Orion knows damn well why I glared.

I roll my eyes. "Ben, grow up."

He grins though. "Did you get some?"

"Obviously."

"Was he good?"

I raise my eyebrows. "Who says it's a he?"

Ben looks intrigued. "Oh, a woman?"

"He was very good," I reply. I catch Orion covering his mouth and looking away out of the corner of my eye. "Now get off it."

"Hey, I'm just happy you finally got some."

"Alright guys," Orion says now, rolling his eyes. "Business now, please?"

Ben salutes him. "Aye aye, captain."

But when I look at Orion, he smirks at me. Now I'm the one who has to cover my mouth.

"So, we need to find a recording studio..."

~

I've gone into the master bathroom upstairs during our break. As I'm situating myself back into my shorts the door opens, and I shout in surprise.

Orion slinks in. He closes the door quietly behind himself and locks it, index finger to his lips. He then comes over to me. I roll my eyes, flushing the toilet, and move to the sink to wash my hands.

"What are you doing?" I whisper at him. "Ya could've kno--"

Orion cuts me off by kissing me. Deeply. For a moment I stand there stupidly, washing my hands, making out with him. Finally he shuts the water off for me. I don't even get a chance to dry off my hands before he's unbuttoning the jeans I just buttoned.

"What're you--"

But he cuts me off with a kiss again, stroking me. I moan into his mouth. He giggles, shushing me. Once I'm hard, Orion gets down on his knees. My eyes widen.

"Orion, you don't have to--"

But then he takes me into his mouth. He does things with his tongue I never even imagined. It was amazing. It doesn't take long before I can't hold back any longer, and I'm biting down on a towel to try to keep myself somewhat quiet. Afterwards I can barely stand and Orion is grinning up at me.

"Holy fuck..."

Orion stands, pressing himself to me. Just like two days ago, he pleases himself. He goes easier on my neck this time, but it still is the object he focuses on. This time he's sure not to make a mess on me, instead turning to the sink. When he's done, panting, leaning against the counter, I wrap my arms around him, nuzzling against his ear. He chuckles, patting my arm.

"We should get back," he tells me then.

As he cleans up, I can't help but watch him.

"Orion..."

He looks at me.

"What--"

"Don't," he tells me.

And like that, he's gone.

~

We're on our next tour. Orion and I have yet to discuss how... physical our relationship has become. It's this weird, unspoken agreement. When one of us feels frisky we'll mess around. Otherwise, it's friendship as usual.

I have no idea what I'm doing--and I don't mean because I'm inexperienced. I want to know what the fuck we're doing. I want to pick it apart into microscopic pieces that I can analyze from every angle under a very strong microscope. But I instead just follow Orion's lead; just go with the flow.

That is, until...

I'm on the bus, dicking around on my phone because I can't sleep. I'm in the main section, by the seating. Ben and Gloria are passed out in the seats. No hotel for us tonight--we need to make ground.

It was Orion's turn for the bedroom. I look out the window, trying to see anything outside. Cupping the sides of my face, pressing my nose against the glass, all I see are road markers. I have no idea where we are currently.

When I look back, I'm surprised to see Orion there. He waves at me, signalling me to follow him. As quietly as I can, I follow him into the back room. He shuts the door.

The bedroom is plain. At that point it wasn't strictly his yet, so it's not black. It's just white with a bed with his black sheet and pillow on it.

"Can't sleep?" he asks me.

"No. You can't either?"

He looks at me briefly and shakes his head. He then sits down on the bed, so I sit down next to him. Orion looks at me seriously.

"How've you been?"

I laugh. "What do you mean?"

Orion rubs his hands against his pants. "With... everything. The band, fame, touring."

I give it some honest thought. "I'm good. Yeah, Orion, everything's good."

"I can't believe we're on our second tour already..."

"Are you okay?"

He looks at me. Orion smiles, and it looks like he might cry. I don't want him to cry. "I don't know. Maybe."

I inch closer to him. "Why maybe?"

Orion scratches at his neck a moment, and then his forehead. "I thought I'd be happier, you know?"

Wordlessly I take his hand into my own.

"This is what I wanted, what I dreamed of. And now that it's here, now that I have it..."

"You're not happy."

Orion sighs. "What am I doing?"

"Hey." I make him look at me. "You're doing your best."

"What if my best isn't good enough?"

I don't know what to say so I just kiss him instead.

I had meant it as an innocent gesture, but then he kisses me back. It quickly gets heated. I urge him on, begging him not to stop. He's pulled down his pants and I'm naked over the bed. It takes a long while, but he's so patient and tender with me.

It's on that night that I let him do more than just give me a hand job or a blow job.

"Sing to me," I tell him at one point, barely holding on.

He pauses his thrusts, panting. "What?"

"Your voice is fucking sexy. Sing to me, please."

So Orion does. And it's choppy from the sex, but his arousal is making him naturally sing in his deep, signature airy voice. It's exactly what I needed, him panting directly in my ear, and he only gets a few measures out before I cum. He tells me to be quiet and I try my best but...Well, I'm loud, and he felt so good. He finishes shortly after me.

Afterwards we lie together. He's drawing random patterns with his fingers on my chest. My chin is on his head, and I'm content for a while merely breathing in his scent. It reminds me of olives, but not in a gross way. It's sort of tangy and sweet but salty. I love it.

"Orion?"

"Hmm?" he asks, sounding half asleep.

I don't want to ask what I'm going to. For multiple reasons. I'm enjoying lying here with him, my arm draped over his side, enjoying the silence. I'm afraid he's going to get angry for some reason. Even so, this discussion is long overdue.

"What are we doing?"

Orion sits up and looks down at me. When he doesn't answer, I continue.

"Okay, here's a better question. I know what I'm doing--what're you doing?"

"What are you doing?"

I narrow my eyes. God, he can be so fucking infuriating sometimes! "Orion."

Orion draws his knees to his chest. As he puts his chin on his knees, he starts to rock slightly side to side. "I meant what I said a while ago. I'm not looking for a relationship. I don't like you like that. But you're hot and--"

He drops his eyes. I think he realized how shallow that sounded. I frown a little.

"Uh, also I'm just a guy with needs but I don't want to end up with an STD here out on the road?" He glances at me, looking embarrassed. "What are you doing?"

I smirk a little. "Having fun."

Orion lifts his head. "Is that--is that all?"

I smile. "Yeah, that's all."

He breaks out into a grin.

I feel shitty for lying, but..I vow that I'm just going to bury my feelings and enjoy the physicality of the relationship. Because it is fun. And something is better than nothing.

And fuck me if he isn't really good at sex.