Chapter 2 - Darkness is my friend.

(You can skip this, guys. The important part is at the last end. You can just start from there.)

Iris' POV

And all the people say 

You can't wake up, this is not a dream 

You're part of a machine, you are not a human being 

With your face all made up, living on a screen 

Low on self-esteem, so you run on gasoline

The familiar song plays on the radio. The sad truth of the reality it tries to portray. The singer Halsey has a smooth singing voice. I admire her, and the theme of the song I can relate to a level.

You can't wake up this is not a dream

The truth of my life. My pathetic, Grimm life.

I should be a Grimm's tale character due to my sad and dark existence. I could make millions writing my life.

Pathetic, Weak, and Sad.

Always fucking Anxious about nothing

Which would be a great story to tell. Seeing as society Romanticed mental illnesses so much it became a fucking trend.

They don't know real anxiety and mental disorders until one day you wake up in a hospital bed, Getting diagnosed bu the doctor to some anti-depressant pills.

I let out a grim sigh in the quiet train. The air heavy and the metal edged of the train shook slightly.

My existence shouldn't even be in this cruel world...

It's a joke.

The song ends. The people still on their seats. Still minding their own business, unaffected of the weight the song's meaning.

I was on the train, sitting to the side seat of where people enter. It was a mediocre normal day for everyone else. Except for me.

the old lady upfront still petted her cat. She carassed her hands lazily into the yawning cat's upper back.

the kid with headphones on. Listening to what the younger generations listen to these days, I suppose. She was still in her own little world until the song ended.

The man in the cargo pants in front of the seat where I was, He was still asleep. Dreaming about the things other people wouldn't imagine.

It was still a normal day, normal life for everyone.

No one mourned or got sad of the song's lyrics. Maybe someone,  but they weren't here.

I wish the world mourns with you. That it stops for a while to realize the sadness and damage people felt and lived. Once.

But no, The world didn't function like that. Not for me anyway.

I look down at the ground. Where the metal floor shook to the machine's work,  the train working for it's intended purpose. To transport people to where they want to go in this place.

It's the same as other things, really.

Books transport to you to the world where you've never been in never lived on.

Music transport you to unknown feelings, feelings you so want to oppress until you hear it. it can make the most people void of feelings to having nostalgic feelings.

When your happy, you dance to the rhythm. But when your sad, you understand the lyrics...

The train stops, waking me up from the trance. I look around, everyone was about ready to leave.

The lady carried her cat, tucking her inside a tote bag and carefully looked inside the bag, checking whether the cat was comfortable. She stood up and hurries to the exit.

the child took off her headphones and held her mother's hand, who smiled at her gratefully, happy that her child behaved.

And the man in cargo pants woke up from his wife's gentle shake. The woman whispering somethng in his ear and they took off too.

Everyone started getting out, and as the people lessens, I start getting up and took my bag from the side. I went to the where the glass doors divided and got out like everyone else.

Like everyone else.

If I felt like everyone else, That be great.

I wouldn't have to feel like this every day.

I avoid tripping at my own feet. Avoid colliding to other hurrying individuals. Not causing any ruckus to home.

I went up to the stairways and met the busy street. Cars honk and people cross the streets. The vendors busy shouting their products. The restaurants and shops full of life, tons of customers bustling inside.

I walk to my right and went to the same path I take every day for the past 3 years.

Wow. It's been 3 years.

3 years of mourning

36 months of constant living in this world

and 144 weeks of agonizing pain.

******

As I went home that evening from my daily work, which was a normal employee at a laundry shop. I shower slowly, the day taking its toll on my body. I finished 20 minutes later and dressed up. 

I dry my hair with a towel and took an apple at the fridge. I went straight to my room, still eating the red apple.  I lay in my Totoro themed bed, I plug my phone to the charger and stared at the white ceiling, Like always.

I could always remember how that night happened. How it was still so fresh like it happened yesterday. Like brunch with friends or dinner with family. Being repeated on my mind and existence.

I remember how it played. I sprawled on the ground, My world crumbling. My dreams shattering and my fears of being the one everyone pitied in town. Who everyone gossiped in school. lived in a small town back then so it was no wonder how everyone knew everyone.

The dilemma and irony.

Everyone hated me. Everyone blamed me. Said it was my fault.  The popular girls picked on me after school, always repeating the same thing. I can't fight back. Because, deep down, inside my heart...

I knew something went wrong that night.

I didn't know what really happened that night. I was so curious, I asked my mom, my teachers, my therapist. But no one seemed to give me the right answer.

They told me that I was seeing hallucinations. That what I saw was just a figment of my scared mind.

But I never believed it. No, it couldn't be something I imagined.

This thoughts always leaves me stressed and more deranged. I would wonder at night about the same things, the same people, and Kevin. 

What really happened that night? There was something more to the truth I was given.

But also, at nights. I blamed the other person who also was involved at the incident. 

Me

I blamed myself for what happened. What if I could have done something? What if I escaped and ran? What if I was strong enough and fought back?

What if I prevented all of it if only I didn't go to that party?

I cried myself to sleep thinking about this what if's. Imagine yourself being in the same situation. No sane person could still be sane after that.

As my mind wandered, my eyes closed tiredly.

****

At around midnight or dawn, I don't know but I do know is that it was still night when I woke up to the ringtone of my phone.

Who would text me at this late night?

well, I could think about a lot of things. My neighbour having a complaint for me to gobble up. Mrs Burkley who called in to fire me or death finally claiming me into its cold embrace. The latter is something I welcome wholeheartedly. It could end my misery much easily.

I took my phone from the side table and opened it. Immediately, I was blinded by a very bright white light.

This better be worth it...

I squinted my eyes, looking at an unknown text.

'We can help you. We know what  happened that night.- David Walsh'

My eyes widened. Who was this person? How did he know?

Either this is a prank by a person from my old town or another therapist who is trying to help with his kind and understanding soul.

you could see my sarcasm on that last part.

I didn't reply because for one, I was too sleepy and two, I was too confused and puzzled.

Nonetheless, though, my mind reasoned but my heart had another thing going on. My heart bounced and plummeted to 180. It soared and dropped. falling at a height of the Empire State building.

On another part of me. I was afraid. and Terrified. and scared. all of that in one combo.

But another part. A part where there was still hope. It blossomed. and flew. I still hoped this person could actually help me. 

This David Walsh

This mysterious person who texted me at 3:25 at night.

I never thought could be an important person to my insignificant life.

Or Maybe am just overthinking this again, Who knows.

I went back to sleep.

My mind calculated.

And my heart hoped

Hoped for this person.

Because that's all I could do at the moment,

Hoped.

****

It's a long ass story but thanks for reading all that drama and mediocre writing style. I appreciate it.

If you didn't read it, It's fine. Not everyone is patient and ok with it. 

This is my first story ever written. So it's understandable. 

I hoped you liked that segment. I will be sure to upload another in maybe another year. (joke)

Goodbye, Goodnight, Goodmorning, Goodnight Evening or Good afternoon. I hope you have a wonderful day.

See you next time on another Author's Note!