[ somewhat philosophical wandering thoughts ]

   Earlier, I was in our car.

   My dad had turned the music up. I love it when I get to be in a car with a nice sound system, not because of any particular affinity with the music, but because I just love the feeling of the vibrations pumping through my bones, my body, my entire being. I've just always liked that, you know. I've always been the one standing right next to the speakers at a dance. I love being able to sort of feel the music through the ground beneath my feet. I love how the beat carries all the way through my body all the way up to my heart and my rib cage seem to pump outwards in time with it.

   So I was sitting there, in my seat, feeling the music, and at a point, I turned my head to look at the side mirror. I unfocused my eyes, and the landscape zoomed by, switching from road to grass to road back again.

   When that happened, I thought about how the whole world was rushing past me.

   I see only as far as the horizon allows me too, but in reality, the entirety of the globe that is the Earth is rolling by me.

   It made me feel sort of small.

  And then I thought of how there's always that one cliche in books, about how the realization of the Earth's size makes one feel tiny and insignificant in the face of the world and fate. 

   But really, it doesn't make me feel insignificant. Small, yes. But no, not insignificant.

   People go on and on about how we don't matter in the course of time, but we actually really do, because it's not the world that matters, it's your world and my world. My world isn't made up of the universe, or at least, not the physical one that comes to mind first.

   I am the center of my universe, and it's not a matter of selfishness or brattiness; it is fact, no matter if I wished or pretended it were otherwise. The bodies that revolve around me are not planets, but are people and places and events. And the center of the universe is the most important thing to any universe, and so I am not a mere stitch in the fabric of time, but the governing body of my entire world.

   And yet, even though I think so much about this, I still can't figure out if there's any point to life and existence.