A/N: Ike is Hispanic because I said so thank you for listening

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Ike <3<3

Zelda: I wanna watch movies come over

I: sure
I: fuck my phone fell

Z: dumbass

I: shut up
I: I can't find pants

Z: did you put a shirt on before pants?
Z: you don't wear pants to bed???

I: before you say anything else I wear underwear to bed

Z: how'd you know I was gonna go to the extreme

I: oh idk you're just really original Zel

Z: AHAHAHA

I: OOOO

Z: found pants?

I: found pants

Z: I'm so proud of you

I: and for your information I do put pants on before shirts, I just found a shirt first

Z: we're you actually mad about that
Z: were

I: I'm not mad, just defending my pride

Z: what
Z: pride months over
Z: anyway why are you taking so long I thought you found pants

I: I can't find my slippers

Z: ... have you not turned the light on?

I: ofc not
I: I don't want my eyes to burn

Z: but you're already staring at a phone

I: at its lowest lighting thing
I: light setting
I: you see, I like to take care of my eyes

Z: who cares about slippers just come over

I: I don't wanna touch that cold ass marble floor in the hallway with my bare feet

Z: oh my goddessssss I'm gonna kill you

I: okay okay I'm coming over
I: I'll sacrifice my feet for your random movie marathon

Z: how very honorable thank you

I: you're welcome
I: I'm bringing chips cause I'm hungry

Z: fine
Z: are they spicy

I: no

Z: damn I wanted a reason to cry

I: white people I swear

***

Robbo <3<3

R: what should I make for breakfast tomorrow

Claude: Robin it's 3am what

R: I can't sleep

C: I can

R: no talk to me
R: I'm bored

C: ugh

R: so what should I make

C: idk
C: eggs?

R: Marth is intoleggrant though

C: what the hell did you just say to me

R: what?

C: intoleggrant
C: is that supposed to be egg intolerant but merged into one word
C: what goes on in your brain at 3 in the morning

R: sleep deprivation

C: was it at least a typo

R: no
R: anyways more ideas

C: that fruit salad was pretty good ngl

R: we're out of fruit
R: pit also liked it
R: a lot

C: ah
C: how about I make breakfast then
C: I've been craving a taste of home, so I could cook up something if you want

R: great my scheme worked

C: what

R: I'm not actually that sleep deprived I'm about to pass out
R: have fun making breakfast tomorrow ily

C: I hate you <3

***

Al 🧛‍♂️

Samus: alucaaaaard
S: wanna come over
S: and like
S: live here

A: why would I ever
A: is it not three in the morning for you, why in the world are you up?

S: says the half vampire

A: at least i sleep
A: at times anyway

S: you speak so fancily

A: I am from the 1400s can you blame me

S: tru
S: anyway come over

A: no I have a perfectly good village to take care of actually
A: and I would rather not live with a bunch of rowdy and loud people

S: you are aware of how ironical everything you just said is right

A: I am
A: anyways, no, I am not coming over

S: phooey

***

Roy

Shulk: you know Roy
S: sometimes I feel like I'm forgotten. Like no one acknowledges me. We used to hang out a lot, and I mean we still do, but I feel like things just aren't the same yk. Maybe it's my fault, maybe I've been distancing myself, but it also feels like no one is trying to reach out to me. Or support me. I feel like I'm just... there. Like I'm just some random side character no one cares about. Like I'm worthless
S: maybe I'm just overthinking things but it's really upsetting. I wanna hang out with you guys, but it feels as though I've been reduced to this silent character that appears and gets the spotlight sometimes. That spotlight doesn't even last for a while. Or happen often.
S: sorry for just dumping this out of no where I've been watching sad shows lately and I wanted to try out trauma dumping like all those comments on tiktok do
S: it seemed fun

R: I'm not reading all that
R: but congratulations
R: or I'm sorry

S: thanks

***

Peachy <3<3

Marth: so George am I right

P: SO TRUE BESTIE

***

Lady Palutena

Pit: can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars 💜💙

Pal: you've been hanging out around Roy too much

Pit: I can't really read

Pal: I know

Pit: eef

***

Lulu

Lucina: why are you on feh at 3am

Link: why are YOU on feh at 3am

Lu: farming orbs
Lu: Marianne looks immaculate
Lu: her face scares me a bit but yk
Lu: could be worse

L: haha gay

Lu: shut up
Lu: why'd you stop playing

L: I'm talking to Zel's bro

Lu: haha gay

L: so creative

Lu: hypocrite

L: anyway he might be coming over soon
L: to live with us

Lu: is he pretty

L: is all you care about looks

Lu: yes

L: well at least you're honest
L: he wants it to be a surprise to Zel tho
L: so don't say anything

Lu: mama didn't raise no snitch

L: you don't have a (canon) mom

Lu: you don't have (canon) parents at least I have dad

L: at least my parents were hot cause look at me
L: I'm sexy as hell

Lu: why'd Zelda break up with you then
Lu: you ugly as hell boy
Lu: and don't go saying it was because of your personality you're just roasting yourself at that point, and you'd be right

L: you're making me really self conscious yk /j

Lu: oh bohoo the poor little elf is sad waaaah

L: *cries, wipes tears* YOURE SO MEAN TO ME *blows snot into sleeves* I can't believe... I loved you once *sobs, falls to knees, has a mental breakdown*

Lu: you... you love me? 🥺🥺🥺 omg, I... I love you too
Lu: all that gaslighting and manipulation and in general toxicity were because I... I was
too afraid to love you
Lu: not because I am mentally ill and a horrible person

L: omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 does that mean... we can kiss? 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Lu: of course, babe *makes out*

L: *makes out back, then pulls away, our tongues unbattling for dominance* I 🥺🥺🥺🥺
I love you so much, Josh

Lu: I love you too, Emma *makes out again*

L: *makes out again*

Lu: god fucking dammit I got pity broken by a damn brave Ephraim
Lu: he has decent fodder at least
Lu: oh wait nvm I forgot about four star special shit
Lu: pirate camilla boobies here I come

L: HAAAA

***

Notes
Dimitri's check list

-Call professor
-check in with dedue
-try not to kill people
-listen to the daily waltz
-have a quick asmr session with Zel
-make sure not to scare peach
-make food for everyone
-don't make the food too salty
-or too spicy
-go sparring with Ike
-play chess with Robin
-let Marth do your make up

Message from Claude: go to sleep

Dimitri: how did you know I was awake

C: the light's on in your room

D: how did you know my light was on...

C: my wyvern eyes tell me everything
C: they see everything
C: even your deepest, darkest, secrets

D: I don't think that's true

C: take a joke, your highness
C: robin woke me up and I can't sleep now so I'm getting those ice tube things we bought earlier
C: want me to bring you one?

D: I'm alright, thank you
D: I think I'll be going to sleep now
D: good night Claude, sweet dreams

C: good night to you as well, Your Kingliness