Something was driving me to the riverside. Intuition told me it was him.

I had been pushing him out of my mind since we'd parted ways the day before over a "Please just go." and an "Okay. I hope all goes well for you, Tallahassee." I was hoping he'd be there, but I didn't want to hope for anyone. Hope led to let-downs, and let-downs led to disappointment, and disappointment led to heartbreak, and heartbreak led to the thing I needed less than anything: more depression.

So I was forcing myself into a state of indifference, but if nothing ever mattered or made a change, I would've yearned to see him again.

However, everything mattered. So while I genuinely cared, and I cared a lot, I was pushing it to the dark recesses of my mind, where short-term emotions roamed free. All my emotions were for the long-run, except possibly the uncontrollable beast of depression. He was always whispering in my ear that I couldn't escape him, that I couldn't function without him, and it was true, I couldn't. I just wished more than anything that I could.

Slipping out the front door, I heard a quickly uttered, disinterested, "Be back before midnight," from my mother before I pulled the door closed behind me. It broke my heart every time. I missed the overprotective mother I used to know.

As I headed for the area, I wondered how far away his house was. Have I already driven past it? Is it miles away?

I shook the unhealthy thought from my head. I didn't even know him and I was trying to picture his location. I was going there for me, not him.

What a lie that was. I was captivated.

I pulled to a stop. There were no cars nearby. I smothered any signs of disappointment before contemplating whether or not to even exit the car. You're not here for him. You're not here for some stranger.

I climbed out of the car, ready to spend the night alone, perhaps even without the blades I carried everywhere.

Spending so much time here had left me unafraid of the dark and the things "lurking" within. I had far more unnerving things to fear.

I stepped between the trees. He was there. I felt a way I shouldn't have about that.

He sat cross-legged in front of the still water, as if contact with it would burn him. I wondered why.

When he turned, his face lit up for just a moment, but he masked whatever emotion he had reflected with a small smile as quickly as it came.

"Tallahassee," was all he said, my name rolling perfectly off his tongue. He didn't say it like everyone else said it, like a burden hanging on their shoulders. He said it almost like a statement of reverence, something sacred he took caution not to overuse.

"You," I responded, half-dumbfounded. "Why don't you tell me your name?"

He stood up, looking at me as if I were something fragile and...valuable. Little did he know what a mess I was.

"It's Aven. Nothing special like Tallahassee." A small, contagious smile reached across his face, failing to stretch his skin. I pushed mine away.

"My parents," I said with a wary slowness, "honeymooned in Miami. That's the indirect reason." I had no idea why I was saying this to him, except because he was so kind to me I thought I finally had someone to talk to, someone to open up to instead of keeping all facts and opinions buried inside of me.

How foolish of me. No one was that reliable.

But my TNT was close to detonating, and I was unable to bottle everything up for much longer, bound to explode soon, and he--Aven--had gotten the explosion going. He had showed me a sliver of light in the dark, windowless room I was in, and I couldn't for the life of me understand where that light was coming from, and how it failed to snuff itself out.

Presumably, light cannot darken itself. Darkness can only tread on light.

"Earth to Tallahassee?"

I looked up. My name flowed from his tongue like it did no one else's. Then again, only teachers said my name at school--and the occasional mocker or passive pitier. My parents rarely even acknowledged me in such a direct and intimate way as with my name. Hearing it work so well in the sound waves that emerged from his throat felt better than it should've.

"Aven?"

His hand dropped from its position in the air down to his side. "Thank goodness," he said with a smile. "I thought you'd left me." My heart did something it had never done before, leaving me with an all-over heat I'd only ever felt before when I was mortified. It was unexplainable.

"I...what's the catch?" I was tired of being messed with. When he was done with his little performance, I knew I would be left feeling worse than ever, like I had had a little taste of what I'd always desired deep down but never wanted to covet. I didn't want to rely on other people; I didn't want to desire the hospitality and care of others; it would only end up backfiring in the end.

"What do you mean, Tallahassee?" The roll of my name was becoming familiar. I pushed that familiarity away.

"I mean, why are you being so nice to me? What do you want?"

The way Aven looked at me then made that unexplainable thing resonate inside my heart before it spread out to the tips of my fingers and toes. The way he looked at me made me realize what he was doing wasn't an act. He wanted nothing.

"You're crying," he said.

No. I hoped for the life of me that he was lying, because crying in front of another, especially someone I hardly knew at all, showed vulnerability and weakness, as if I were but a twig next to a large tree in a fierce windstorm bound to push me over.

My fingers found my cheeks and came away wet, and I was disgusted with myself. I needed to hurt. I needed to bleed.

"Please go, Aven."

He hesitated. "What is it? Did I say something wrong?"

No, goodness no. I hadn't met anyone righter in what felt like forever.

"No, I just...want you to go."

"Forever?" He asked with a certain somberness adding a soft quietness to his voice. The sensation returned.
I stared at him, wonder spreading across my face. Why was he so...perfect?

"No."

═══════════════════

Author's Note

*evil grin* We all know what "no" means. It means the story is beginning!

Okay, so I am currently in the process of Aven IV and should be done before Tuesday, but I will still publish it on Tuesday to give myself enough time to have Tallahassee IV done by two Tuesdays from now. If I get far enough ahead, I can publish both POVs in one Tuesday!

Either way, I'll see you on Tuesday! Until then, I will have to find something else to do with my time. ~_^

Feedback is great, feedback is nice. I'd be honoured to receive your advice!

‹ ☼☔︎ ›