Art Credit: @artist_in_drag on Twitter

So yeah, we were wrong about the date of posting this chapter. But in our defense, we were busy and this chapter is a little long compared to the last few. 

• MARVEL

SCENARIO 1

-Fury thinks that Percy is a terrorist. I mean, look at him, a regular teenager, wearing a bright orange t-shirt, cuffed jeans and a blue AHS Swim Team hoodie? How can he not be a terrorist? 

-He shows Percy's file to the Avengers. No one knows where he got those papers from, and no one knows where they go either. Our guess is probably not the recycle bin.

-*cue fangod Thor* 

-What would any logical person do in such a dire situation? Send the Avengers after him of course!

 -You actually had the audacity to think he sent, like, one agent? Oh sweetheart, it was the whole team of the Avengers. 

-The seven are dead, every time. Even the comment sections are out of tears at this point. None of them are even fazed.

-Percy is in a graveyard. 

-The Avengers arrive, they fight, Percy wins. 

-Fury shouts at them for losing.

-They capture Percy and interrogate him. Guess who's the bad cop.

-For no good reason, Fury asks him to join the Avengers.

-Guess his common sense is now temporarily babysitting the 2.5 kids. 

-Random monster (mostly Kelli and Hellhounds) appear, the Avengers cannot defeat them (yet literal children with mommy and daddy issues, and a load of other trauma can, but that's a different story). 

-Percy comes in dramatically and saves them. 

-Percy tells them his life story.

-Random villain barges in (mostly Tartarus) and does his emotional monologue. 

-*cue Percy getting tortured in his sleep for ten chapters straight* 

-They fight, no one dies (apart from the villains, duh), and they live happily ever after like a huge family, with grand dinners and flying weapons.

SCENARIO 2

-Percy comes back from camp, Sally and Paul are dead, because the authors obviously did not undermine the absolute power Sally and Paul have despite being mortals, as definitely not seen in the Battle of Manhattan.

-Tony is Sally's long lost brother, so, naturally, he adopts Percy.

-*cue the rest being suspicious of Percy for, like, half the book*

-Percy goes to the pool, falls asleep, they think he drowned.

-SIKE! 

-Percy wakes up, tells them that he can't drown (and neither can his pancakes but that's a story for later).

-The rest are suspicious for another quarter of the book. 

-Kelli and the hellhounds™️ are back. Percy defeats them.

-He tells them about his life.

-*cue Tartarus monologuing and torturing Percy for another five chapters* 

-He goes to camp, the rest follow him, spend like five days there, Tartar sauce attacks.

-They win without a single casualty.

SCENARIO 3

-Fem!Percy's life has been too quiet lately, so of course Zeus decides to mess it up. 

-He wants to be allied with the Norse.

-He arranges a marriage between her and Thor. 

-They go on a date. 

-Then go to the tower, where Kelli and the Hellhounds™️ (hmm this could make an amazing band name) are back for round three. 

-She tells him about her life.

-She and Thor fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. 

-That's it.

-That's literally what happens in the entire book.

SCENARIO 4

-It's... Poki time! (Please appreciate the wonderful ship name.)

-Percy is banished. Zeus gives him to Thanos. 

-He meets Loki. 

-They fall in love. 

-Loki gets captured by the Avengers. 

-Percy saves him. 

-Kelli and the Hellhounds™ are back at it again. 

-Percy defeats them. 

-Tells them about his life. 

-You'll never guess what they do next.

Should we tell you?

They live happily ever after. 

LA FIN.

• HARRY POTTER

SCENARIO 1

-The Seven, plus Nico, Will and Reyna are invited to Hogwarts.

-*cue the comment section arguing about which houses Percy, Annabeth, Nico and Will should actually be in*

-They don't tell the others about their own world of bibbity-bobbity-boo for reasons we may never understand. 

-Voldy-Moldy thinks it's the perfect time to magically reveal that he's actually not dead.

-Harry sees their SPQR mark and decides that they are Death Eaters despite it being on the wrong arm. 

-They explain. 

-Defeat Voldy-Moldy. 

-The end.

SCENARIO 2

-Percy is Harry's brother.

-For random reasons he gets transported to Sally.

-He is also a demigod for no apparent reason.

-Voldy-Moldy was disappointed in the last fic so he decided to become Taylor Swift and rose up from the dead while hissing Look What You Made Me Do. 

Nagini was both proud and annoyed. Mostly annoyed, though.

-Harry finds out Percy is a demigod.

-Harry finds out they're related.

-*cue the emotional scenes*

-They defeat Mr. Nose-rings-are-beneath-me.

-They live happily ever after with their respective wives and their 2.5 billion children each.

SCENARIO 3

-Sally and Lily are sisters, therefore Percy and Harry are cousins.

-It's basically the same thing as the scenario above.

-No seriously, there is hardly anything new here.

SCENARIO 4

-Percy is Voldemort's grandson. (Thankfully the 'no nose' part wasn't genetic.)

-Harry is very OOC and hates him.

-Harry is jealous of him. 

-Harry thinks he's better than everyone just because he killed Mr. Who-Took-My-Nose. 

-Well, Kelli and the Hellhounds are back at it again, except this time it's in the Hogwarts grounds. 

-SPQR/Death Eater thing happens again. 

-Voldy and Kronos are alive.

-Percy kills both of them.

-They became besties for ever.

-Boom, the end.

SCENARIO 5

-Hecate told Percy to teach at Hogwarts, so now he somehow has the qualifications. 

-Percy arrives on Blackjack, and suddenly Pegasi stop existing in the wizarding world because it causes an uproar.

-The usual "Harry hates him, SPQR/Dark Mark, Kelli and the Hellhounds, Mr. Miss-my-nose is alive" plot line. 

-Percy defeats him.

-What? 

Why are you still here? 

It's the end.

Goodbye.

Oh, and, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!