44- MASSIVE CRACKFIC (FT. YOU GUYS)
Art Credit: @kattertams on Instagram
A/N Hey guys! Yes, we know we promised like two or three more chapters before this but as you can see, we're kind of dead inside with no time whatsoever to do anything. We're both kinda stuck with exams at the moment and other stuff like finding and shortlisting universities but we really wanted to finish this book.
The last few chapters had been somewhat covered in other chapters in this book or in our other books anyway, so if you want a chapter reveal: they were about lgbtq+ rep, grammar and tones, and the Kane siblings. We've already covered the basic types of fanfiction tropes found in this fandom minus like... the smut ones but to be honest I don't think either of us wants to go through badly written smut and traumatize the 8-12 year olds reading this. We're really sorry for eliminating chapters like this but we hope you understand!
A little background before you start reading:
Amber and I asked (almost like a year or two ago because we thought this would get over way sooner 💀) exactly 32 of our readers for a crack paragraph (out of which 4 couldn't do it and 1 never responded but that's cool) because "we couldn't come up with anything" and "we need your help".
But the thing is, we didn't need help. We've done our side of it. The last chapter was all about you guys unknowingly writing a massive crackfic together.
To the ones who figured this out already, congratulations. You get a gold star: ⭐
Amber and I are currently dead on the floor from compiling all of this because it's too funny.
(everything after this is written by you guys, from the title and summary to people licking themselves so don't blame us)*
A Totally Random and Cliche PJO Story
by (you)
AN: Sorry guys I haven't updated and I'm gonna give you guys a really long chapter today to make up for my absence. 😞
Percy: Are you our maker?
(Insert random name): No, a troll with the name of Rick Riorden is
Summary: The weird OC son of Poseidon comes to the camp
Percy gets betrayed
And uh... stuff
He becomes the guardian of the hunters of Artemis by Zeus
THey fall in love
Epic battle with a reincarnated Gaia and Kronos
They win
get married
the end
PROLOGUE
"So you rose only a year after me, Mom?" Kronos asked Gaia.
"Yes, I thought they wouldn't expect another attack so soon after your attempt to rule over the world!" Gaia explained to her son.
"Honestly, they shouldn't have known what had hit them!" Kronos exclaimed. "But those pesky demigods managed to beat us!"
"IKR!" Gaia agreed. "The mortals keep changing their language, it's annoying, and now they're all "texting" each other saying "IKR" which means "I know, right?". Honestly, they need to be taught a lesson! A grammar lesson!"
Kronos shook his head. "You'll always be the best at grammar, mother," he promised her.
Gaia smiled. "Thank you, darling. Why were you trying to take over the world?"
"Well, the mortals have terrible fashion sense nowadays," Kronos confessed. "No more chitons! Just coats and jeans! I had to knock some sense into them, didn't I?"
Gaia nodded in agreement. "Together, we could have made the world a much better place, with no more grammar mistakes and correct dressing." She said.
"Atlas wanted to take on the project of waking the god Pan. Making sure there was no more pollution. And his own daughter fought against him, even though she was a huntress and loved the wild!"
Gaia shook her head. "I don't know what got into everyone. We're just trying to help!"
"It's as if they thought we were tyrants trying to take over the world just because we wanted more power!" Kronos said.
"Wait..." Gaia said. "What if it was?"
"Impossible." Kronos disagreed. "I mean, I made it very clear that I was doing it for fashion and the wild!"
"And me for grammar!" Gaia exclaimed. "Honestly, those pesky mortals just don't appreciate decent deities these days!"
Kronos shook his head. "Someday, we'll show them, mother."
Gaia nodded.
"Someday."
~•~•~•~
Y'alleth. It is the Arrow of Dodona that speakeths to thine intelligent mind, thine shiny orbs and thine perfectness, from yonder the grave. My dear acquaintances, I have come forth as my prophetic forces has't been tingling for some timeth now and dictateth me to spew forth a... prophecy.
Please, granteth my request for the most cherished drumroll.
THOU SHALT GO TO THE NEAREST RESTAURANT
AND NOT ORDERETH A PIZZA, BUT RICE.
THOU SHALT MEET A RICH AND GREEDY MERCHANT
WHO IS NOT WHAT YOU WOULD CALL "NICE".
NEXT, THOU SHALT HOP IN A BLUE PORSCHE
CONVERTIBLE, MIND YOU, AND SMARTLY THOU WILL HAVE STARTED.
THOU SHALT DRIVETH TILL THE END OF TIME'S NICHE
AND REACH BEFORE YOU HAVE DEPARTED.
Well, well, well. Enjoyeth and give Lester Papadopoulos mine utmost love.
Laughing mine own rampallian off.
CHAPTER 1!
Percy and Annabae were getting married. "OMGZ! YOURE GETTING MARRIED!" Cried Piper, while madly scribbling down Percabeth fanfic and texting Aphrodite. "Iv, like, SO got to help you buy the dress!" So Annabae, Piper (still writing fanfic), and Calypso ( Hazel is babysitting Grover and Juniper's 2.5 children) went to New Rome to buy the dress. They shopped for 888,888,888,888,895,664,467,74542.5 hours, but nothing worked. Then Poseidon popped out of nowhere and gave Annabae the most amazhang dress ever. It was a spaghetti-strap dress that was yellow like sand on top with an ocean-blue skirt and a seashell crown. Then he gave her his blessing and disappeared. The next day, every1 came to CHB's beach and Annabae wore the dress Pozeidon gave her. Everyone gushed all over it. Then the ceremony began. The bridesmaids were Piper (STILL writing fanfic) and Calypso (Hazel's still in Narnia with Gruniper's kids). Chiron was the priest. The next day, Annabae got pregnant. It was going to be twins! Nine months later, the babies (1 girl & 1 boy) popped out, delivered by Will, Apollo, Artemis, Asclepius, Eileithyia, and every other medical god in existence because none of them had anything else they'd be far more likely to be doing. "What are u going 2 name them?" Everyone asked. "Zoe Bianca Silena Lou Ellen Water Trident Coral Pearl Jackson and Luke Charles Castor Octavian Ethan SuperGod Ocean Bob Jackson." Percy and Annabae responded proudly. "Because who cares about Sally?" They decided to hide Zoe and Luke's divine heritage from them despite it making zero sense, and them growing up knowing lots of other demigods and legacies. One day, a minotaur broke into the house and killed Percy and Annabae (because they TOTALLY aren't capable of defending themselves from it). So Zoe, Luke and the children of the other five members of the Seven (who also got killed by the minotaur) went to CBH and saved the world and all fell in love an' stuff.
ANNABETH'S POV
Oh my gods! Where is Percy! He better not be with any girls, or boys for that matter. He's MINE even though we're not dating or whatever. He appeared on top of the Zues cabin with a random girl and I marched up there and threw her off into the lake even though it's a really long way away. I grabbed his shirt collar and slammed my lips into his even harder than on the mountain and he didn't kiss back. "How dare you throw Lightning off the roof. He yelled. Why is he defending her?! He probably kissed her too. Just as I thought that, I started crying because she was claimed by Zues. of course he probably wants a much more powerful demigod. I jumped of the roof without breaking anybones and I ran to cabin crying waterfalls. Then I remembered Aphrodite's scarf that we found on our first quest. I poisened Charon so he wouldn'y catch me and had to fight an Emposiai first even though we're in camp. I took it and stuffed it infront of his face. "I am a daughter of ZZues she said loudly and legacy of Posiden and Hades. I created a storm of water wind, lightning and death. HE RAN TO LITTLE BUG OR SOMETHING AND KISSED HER. I cried so hard and then became a hunter so I didn't have to look at them.
Percy and Annabeth started to hate each other. Then Nate River came and kissed Annabeth and Percy got mad so he confessed his unwavering love for her and they ran away together. Nate kidnapped Annabeth and Percy went on a grand mission to save her. Percy and Annabae kissed and adopted the 2.5 kids and made Jason Pan's godfather, Diana's godmother as Piper, and Leo as Gerald Jack's godfather because Hazel and Frank are stuck on Atlantis even after multiple attempts to save them.
The next day, Percy sobbed into his hands next to a teary Jason.
Annabeth and Piper broke up with both of them for each other.
Then Nico walks in out of emo boredom, and they instantly fall for him, their tears and pain vanishing to Tartarus along with their development.
"I have something to tell you two. I just caught Will with Travis, so I figured this would be the best time to say it." Nico says with a small blushy-wushy on his pale face. "I'm in love with both of you!"
He instantly runs out the door, tears falling from his earth-green orbs.
Percy and Jason follow him to the monster-infested forest, but all the monsters apparently went to Tartarus too, because none show up at all.
They stop Nico and hug him, telling him that they love him too, and they have a big make-out session.
But they don't know that Annabeth and Piper can see, and the lesbians suddenly aren't lesbians and are mad that their boyfriends are dating another boy. So instead of doing the responsible thing and moving on, they make a plan to kidnap Nico and take their boyfriend's back.
~~~Time skip, because what even is plot anymore?~~~
Nico is tied to a chair, and a wild Will suddenly appears in front of him with tears coming out of his blue orbs.
"I never cheated on you, Travis came onto me! But you cheated on meeee!" Will whines.
Will, golden retriever boy supreme, gazed into Nicos beautiful deep blue orbs.
"Nico..."
"Kiss me baby ." Said Nico, pulling Will in and crashing their lips together. Despite the fact that this was the first time that they'd ever kissed, they immediately started a full our make-out session.
Since it's only now relevant to the plot, Nico realized he was sitting on a bed in the infirmary of Camp Half-Blood.
Will say down on the bed beside him; pulling his head into his lap.
"How long have I known you for again?" Mumbled Will under his breath, which Nico found incredibly hot for some reason.
"Well..." Nico did the calculations in his head. "This is my first day in the infirmary, so nine hours, thirty-five minutes, and six-now seven seconds."
"Cool. Be my boyfriend."
"Of course baby."
They resumed their make out session.
That is; until doctors work called Will from the room.
"Sorry baBe." Will said, "I have to go. But two more days here, k?"
He gave Nico a roguish wink as he walked out the doors.
BRITTANY POV
I walks into the infirmary, looking for the haWt boy that has been there. When I found him, i kisd him pasionatly (consent is still in Atlantis) until Will walked in on us, conveniently for the plot.
"Nico how cud u??" He cried.
"No baBY!!!!!!!!! I only love you!!!!!!!" The hot boy with dark orbs said; before looking at me. "Brittany, im a gay smol bean ok? go away."
With that; he kissed his boyfriend passionately, whom he had only known for the past nine hours and fifty three minutes and thirty two seconds.
I was flung into tartar sauce by the power of the gæ and have been here ever since because Aphrodite doesn't like I tried to break up one of her ships.
But then I came back again for plot purposes.
Sadie said, "Carter you're so nerdy!" and ha-di'd (or whatever the spelling is) him. She then saw Brittany Buttercup make out with Walt and ran to her room crying. Walt then ran after her and kissed her (Consent has a whole blooming business in Atlantis now) and wiped her tears.
Meanwhile, Luna woke up in an island with lots of trees and plants surrounding her. She looked straight ahead to see a girl talking to Nico. * she gasps" how dare she talk to MY Neeks?!? She walked over to them, slapped Nico and threw the girl into the ocean. She turned to nico and screamed "NICOLO Di Angelo! how dare you do this to me?" * Dramatic gasps* She channeled all the power given to her by Poseidon and drowned Nico. * Insert slow-mo Evil montage * But then all the Olympians show up * le gasp * * Dramatic entrance*
Zeus: Luna moon, YOU-
Luna: shut up! I'm trying to do a montage!
Arty: that ain't mine
Apollo: 0 Oh-Woah- Oh! Its a cruel summer!
Hermes: It's Winter
Apollo: Whateves
Luna: What do you want?
Hades: you almost killed my son, but poseidon saved him. B-
Luna:" blah blah blah" just livin mah life yall. Peace, chill, Alabama bye!
She watersurfs back to camp
Hades: What the tartarus just happened
Apollo: You know I Love London boy -
Arty: Shut up!
Meanwhile, Percy and Jason are being persued by Pipabeth, despite saying they both moved on and love Nico. Then Annabeth is so smart, she lets it slipped that they kidnapped him, he's being heald captive by Kronos, Will betrayed Nico, and gives exact coordinates to Kronos.
So Jason and Percy push the girls away, kill Will, kill Kronos, save Nico, make love, and then libe happily ever after with kids Nico somehow birthed, because adoption doesn't exist!
"What the f-" Percy said, only to be interrupted by Hazel.
"PERCY, LANGUAGE!" Hazel yelled, glaring at him. She actually looked scary for once- something that no one had ever really seen because she was always a total cinnamon roll, which was actually her entire character dynamic.
"-uuuuudgesticks?" Percy changed the end of his statement, and a hellhound suddenly pounced from behind because plot convenience. Surprised, he uncapped Riptide and barely managed to kill the monster. As he delivered a final blow, he got a cut on his arm.
Hazel stared with wide eyes, then screamed, "Oh my gods Percy!! Are you okay??!!" Because, as implied before, she freaked out over every tiny thing, and training in New Rome had clearly not benefited her in any way.
Then Percy realised he was injured, and instinctively said, "Oh shi-"
"LANGUAGE!"
Lightning Aqua Darkhole's POV
I woke up and my caramel brown locks looked liked a birds nest. I went into the shower and used steaming hot water because I can't feel heat at al. I started crying because my parents were dead and I never met them because no one can ever have parents. I heard my really mean step-mom call my name to clean the whole house in under 1 minute. As I heard her walk up the stairs I fainted because of all the pressure to be perfect and my bright midnight blue orbs fluttered shut.
I was called to the Big House and Charon the centaur told me to go get this really powerful demigod from Boston, MA hospital because all the satyrs disappeared and joined Grover, Juniper, their 2.5 kids, Hazel, Frank (even though they're not here yet) development, and consent in Atlantis. I got into the water and got into the sea and willed the water to take me to boston. When I got to her she was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She's more beautiful girl I've ever seen. Her dark red eyes were so strikingly beautiful. Then they turned yellow. They flickered all the colors of the rainbow very slowly and I drowned in them. I suddenly stranported her to camp even though shadow traveling is Nikol's thing.
I looked at the view of Camp Half Blood and fainted. When I woke up I looked up into Percy's dreamy sea green orbs and he looked back into my aqua marine blue purple blue ocean orbs. His perfect six pack of abs was hard as a rock against my 3 inch waist. "W-what h-h-h-h-h-happened?" I asked, trembling.
"You fainted and I had to catch you." Percy said in a deep voice.
Then I met my nemesis Alyssa.
Alyssa was this stuck-up daughter of Apollo, who thought that everything revolved around her, just like her father. Her Cabin 7 baseball cap hung low over her light blue eyes. A few strands of her chestnut brown hair had escaped from their Dutch braids and messily framed her face. She was rather pretty, and she did her makeup really well. But what escaped my understanding was why she bothered with me. She was 16, four years older than me, and she didn't usually bother people below her age. Why me, then? She wasn't as bad as Drew, but Alyssa was persistent, which made if difficult for people to do whatever they wanted to do. Usually, her words didn't bother me, but today she was being unusually smug. I killed her with my signature smirk and then went off to meet my bestie Annabelle.
-- Flashback because we need Annabelle's origin story----
Annabelle's POV
A guy with a horse body came up and bowed to me and so did the other people. "Lady Annabelle Maria Christopher Xing Ping Thunder Peacock Waterball Cornetti Spear-Owl Shine-Moon Toolbelt-Love-Stol(l)e-Winey Pooh Wham-Bam Xa, with all the hyphens and brackets, you have been claimed by all the gods. Therefore, making you the most powerful demigod in existence, powerfuller than Zeus, the powerfullest." (A/N- eep, sotnger tMy name is Annabelle Maria Christopher Xing Ping Thunder Peacock Waterball Cornetti Spear-Owl Shine-Moon Toolbelt-Love-Stol(l)e-Winey Pooh Wham-Bam Xa, yes, with all the hyphens and brackets (A/N- ahee, you SEA what i did thereee? All the gods name from Zeusyy to Dinysuss, Ikr!) and I am 14 years old.
I have luscious blonde hair and sapphire blue orbs which reflect the ocean when I cry and represent the galaxy when I eat. I have a blinding smile that is perfectly white and shines like the sun. My skin is soft and silky. (A/N- ahoy readerzzzz thiz actually reprezents my doggo Conrnyyyy)
Apparently I have to save the world, which I don't want to. But I absolutely have to. That's so unfair! I mean, why does it have to be me?! (A/N- Bcz ur a demgiod duhhh!)
Anyway, it all started when my best friend revealed to me that she was satyr. A satyr! She then quickly explained to me that I was demigod, and we ditched school to go to this camp for people like me. She gave me a bracelet that can turn into every weapon imaginable. She also said the prophecy to me:
She shall save the day, against all odds.
The hero will be claimed by all the gods.
A beautiful heroine she will make the important decisions,
Or else, the world will fall into a fissure.
I like, don't understand. What does this mean?!
When we were almost there, we got attacked by a hellhound. But I defeated it without any problem and without any weapon, even though this is my first time battling one!
The hellhound exploded in yellow dust and stained my torn-dirty clothes (my stepdad is like, so abusive. He won't buy me designer clothing and didn't even buy me barbies). Everyone from camp came out and looked at me in awe, becauze apprapently, they do not have anything to do.
This one really handsome guy with green eyes came up to me, leaving behind a really dumb looking blonde with ugly grey eyes. OMG, he's like, really hot! Is he going to ask me out on a date or something? But he suddenly stopped and stared at me. Everyone stared at me. What's wrong? Is it because I'm really ugly and stuff?
han the Godzz, i wish i'd be this, who of you do wish, comment; eep --->>)
Like, OMG! I totally didn't see this coming. I guess I really am special.
They carried me on their shoulders and chanted my name several times. Then a donkey in agym costume came to me, and said "DIE! Welco-DIE-me to the cam-DIE-p cup-DIE-ca-DIE-DIE-DIE-ke" (A/N- guess who guyzzz?) ugh, animals aree sso wierd. Then everything went balck.
A/N- okay, i will not uptade tis buk until i get ezactly 69 comments here... The nesxt part is intersetinggggg ;) ;) ;) only 69 comments guyzz, i know you can do tis.
Lightning's POV
Then Annabel and I merged into one person because we are special and not like other girls
Then Leo Mcshizzle Valdez took us on a date at a CANDLELIT restaurant, and we had spaghetti, and it was sooooooo romantic but then dumb Calypso popped out of the spaghetti bowl and stole away by HOT husband, so I grabbed my sword and twirled it fashionably and decapitated her SUPES cutely, because we are really adorable, then Leo said he wanted us back, but I turned around and saw this hot guy with water powers, and he was like "were going to get married, because my annabae doesn't love me anymore" Then he BURST into tears, and I decapitated Annabae too, and the rest of the seven showed up, except Frazel (who even IS Frazel, they must be really unimportant to the plot). Anyway we got married and had 44 kids, but they weren't blue which made Percy mad so we painted them blue, and lived happily ever after!!!!
AN: CLIFFHANGER! I"M SUPER EVIL I LOVE PERCABETH and it will happen. Rachel will come again and I hate her and Calypso for ruining it but don't hate Reyna even though she liked Percy to. There's gonna be an awesome plot twist coming next week.
Calypso looked down at her African violets, then at the sun. She then prayed to whatever god was listening that the few moments outside to re-pot the plant wouldn't burn it. It took too long to find a suitable soil match for the damn flowers. If they die now, Calypso will die.
Leo was angry. Festus had stolen his Cheerios, and he was ready to declare war. He recruited Annabeth, but she was busy declaring war on Piper because she took her hair clips. So, he tried to ask Percy to come with him on his Cheerio recovery mission. He agreed. They lay their trap, which consists of a box propped up on a stick. Their dragon is caught in seconds, but there are no Cheerios in sight. Percy had took them. Percy was a double agent.
MEANWHILE...
Reyhan fell. Fell from what? Well a cliff of course, he was trying to get to consent who's right now underwater because of climate change (THANKS AUTHOR). Now, I would continue this, But Reyhan has been unconscious for almost 3 days now. And I don't know what to do. Oh, he's dead.
POST THE BACKGROUND POC CHARACTER'S DEATH...
In the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix...
"VOLDEMORT HAS A WHAT?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!? Asdfghjklzxcvbnmforuigypqgiwhajksfngbujjuhbbjfbgjhfjjdodasn!!!!!!!!!!", cried Harry.
"Voldemort has a grandson." Dumbledore said calmly. (hArRy dIdjA pUtJa nAmE iN tHe GoBlEta fIyA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!)
"JHVUSgdhwojbsjoadjsvdbhsjkadsivJAIdhsvfibsof hbasfobbussfsvbsffjksvjkjakmnsbdioiaue!!!!!!!!!!! I BET HE'S EVIL LIKE HIS GRANDFATHER!" (Jeez Mr. Caps Lock, chill out)
Time skip where Dumbledore somehow managed to convince Harry, Ron, and Hermione to go with him to pick up Percy
I'm too lazy to write this part, but they go to Percy's house, Sally welcomes them in, they talk to Percy about the wizarding stuff while Harry glares nonstop at Percy, and they take Percy to Number 12 Grimmauld Place.
Oh, and Hermione is blushing.
I should mention that.
But I think she's not his type.
Etc.
---Time skip brought to you by Kronos---
Percy POV
I- I can't believe it.
Everyone is dead.
The seven were killed by Gaea in Greece, and Annabae- *swallows* she-
THE END?
Nah
A/N (no not an actual A/N): Hey guys! Isn't Percy so hot? I can't wait for the next chapter when Persassy comes out!! Sorry for not posting in a while, my parents poisoned me and I ran away and lived in the woods for 3 years but now I'm living in a dog kennel so I can update!
Persassius Sassmaster Jacksasson was the god of sass (le gasp ultimate plot twist!) and blue cookies (you never saw that coming, huh?). he lived in a tiny seashell at the bottom of the ocean with his wife Annabae Baelicious Baes, goddess of, um, something. yeah. Annabae Baelicious Baes, goddess of something.
they loved each other very much.
one day they had a fight.
they got divorced.
( AN omg I'm so DAM evil MWUHAHAHAHA)
Aphrodite shipped them though.
so they got remarried because they miraculously fell in love again. (like they fell into Tartarus MWUHAHAHAHA) (thank Olympus for Aphrodite btw hahaha)
they invited everyone in the world to their wedding.
Jasey was Persassius's best man because Grover was chilling on Mars with his fam.
(i said world, not universeeee)
Pipesy was Annabae's bridesmaid.
Magnus ordered a million falafels (apparently money isn't a thing) and ate them all in two bites. "I love falafels more than anything in this universe."
Alex got jealous and decapitated him and destroyed the falafel cart.
Samirah crushed everyone's windpipes.
Amir made more falafel and Magnus ate that too.
Kelli and the Hellhounds crashed the party, almost killed a few peeps, died, and then sang for the wedding.
the cake got smashed though.
everyone was sad because the cake had been pretty and they had wanted to eat it.
Alex solved the problem by beheading everyone.
~•~•~
Jason was watching as everyone praised Percy. Why was Percy getting praised? Well, the author's of the fanfics had no other ideas on how to make Jason jealous of Percy. And, like everyone else, they usually forgot the fact that Percy was a demigod, NOT a god.
Piper stared at Percy and Annabeth making out in public. She wished she and Jason could be like that. Doing PDA wherever they go, acting like the perfect couple. He wAs sO uNrOmAnTiC!! He never kissed her and never told her I love you, because apparently girls can't make the first move. Let's just go ahead and disregard all the times they told each other "I love you." in the series because OH WE NEED AT LEAST ONE JEALOUS COUPLE.
Piper looked among the guests at the party when some idiot named Dylan asked her to dance. Forgetting the fact that she had a boyfriend and she has just complained about him being unromantic 5 seconds ago, she accepts.
Jason of course is on the other side of the party making out with bricky as usual, like that's not weird at all. He runs over to the dance floor and sees Percy and Annabeth dancing. Cue him being jealous of how good looking Percy is and how all the girls are drooling over him. It's not like the real Jason doesn't care about that stuff at all. It's not like the real Percy and Jason are actually friends. Then of course Jason walks up to Percy, acting all friendly. Cue the exchange of "bro's" and then they start slow dancing together, Annabeth leaving to do her makeup with Piper.
Meanwhile Piper's still dancing with a random dude, rather close now. Annabeth gasps in horror," PIPER YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND. " Piper breaks away from Dylan, looking guilty. Then she looks at Percy and Jason, now completely giving off gay vibes and not caring that their girlfriends are RIGHT THERE waiting for them to stop.
Anyway Jason then moves away from Percy and leaves.
~TIME SKIPPY~
Piper goes upstairs to find Jason and some random girl, totally not named Drew, making out. They were kissing passionately with- I can't write this.
Anyway Piper dramatically storms in screaming JASON at the top of her lungs, attracting attention from everyone. Piper of course goes to slap Jason but Annabeth, popping out of nowhere just comes in punches his lights out, no one stopping her. Long story short, Jason and Piper break up, everyone ignores Jason, Jason ends up being a homeless delinquent, and proceeds to move on in a relationship with Stapler. Piper suddenly turns gay without any implication of it whatsoever, unlike in the books where they were many, and makes out with some random girl named, yep you guessed it, SHEL! Percy and Annabeth grow up, have 50 something children and live in a beautiful mansion designed by Annabeth. Where's Leo you ask? Heck I don't know! Maybe dancing with all the girls at once because apparently he's suddenly a ladies' man.
THE NEXT DAY...
"Who the fUCK-"
"Careful, you might just wake the wrath of Annabeth Chase in all her morning glory," Drew snidely commented. "I'm evil and hate everyone," she stated.
"Have you guys seen my Nemo plushy?" Percy barged in, panting from running from his cabin. "It's gone and I need it for my nightly Nemo watching, otherwise all the blue fades away-"
"But again, I ask, who the fuCK TOOK ALL MY DARKNESS? I SHALL KILL-"
Now Will appeared, in full doctor's clothing, including round glasses that helped him be aesthetic. He literally glowed and blinded everyone around him. Then he grabbed Nico's wrist and dragged him away, muttering about how his dark little baby boy shouldn't stay out of bed for more than a second. He was the perfect boyfriend.
"What am I if not character development for Jason?" Piper mused, picking her bright pink nails. Then she shot up, feeling Solangelo was happening. She squealed, and her boyfriend appeared magically next to her, squealing too. "Our ship is sailing!" They continued squealing for the rest of the day.
Once again, tears filled Annabeth's grey oRbS as she thought of her very very abusive and tragic past. She never mentioned it to anybody, and even Rick Riordan didn't mention it to anybody, but it was indeed a very big part of her life. She got up from her suddenly summoned silk couch and declared, I am not like other girls. because the author doesn't know about internalised misogyny, or how to write quotations.
Annabeth cradled Pervy in her arms, unravelling his yellow and black tie and setting it aside. Percy giggled and licked his hand. "I think I like Carter" he mumbled.
Annabeth just nodded along, as if understanding it and went on about how Helen was the worst.
Then everyone got married again because why not and they all lived happily ever after.
EPILOGUE
Annabae and Kronos walked through the green fields of Hell. Birds were singing, the trees had perfect shade, and Annabae was here with her true love, Kronos.
"Kronos?" asked Annabae.
"Yes, bae?" replied Kronos.
"I love you."
"Love you too."
Annabae took Kronos hand as they continued to walk through the fields of hell, stopping for a kiss along the way.
LAST UPDATED: 20,000 BCE
Credit for these totes beautiful storylines 🥰😍😩👏 (A/N say hi when you see your name our exploding cathedrals <33)(dm or comment for username change because we noted down the usernames like a year or two ago oops):
*Don't miss the emotional authors' note right after this chapter!*
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