Art Credit: @markiehh on Tumblr and Instagram

(THIS IS NOT HOW WE WRITE WE PROMISE, WE'RE JUST QUOTING HOW A NORMAL PERCY VS. JASON CHAPTER GOES DOWN IN DEMIGODS REACT OR WHATEVER FICS THAT HAVE THIS)

CAST

Selene as The Jason fangirls™

Amber as The Percy fangirls™

Random Fangirl as Random Fangirl

Apollo as the Pre-Lesterized Version of Himself

Annababe Chihuahua as the Entitled and Problematic Fanfiction Version of Herself

Time Skip as the Timed Skip in Time

Fanfic Authors as Fanfic Authors in their Evil/Cringe Era

and Ensemble (ignored characters that do not get the appropriate credits because we were lazy)

~•~•~•~

HOW FANGIRLS ACT- A Conceptual Drama

Random fangirl: HAI! OMGZ LIKE, OKAY, LIKE, WHO'S, LIKE, TOTES BETTER?? JASON OR PERCY, AKA MY BOO?

Selene: JASON!

Amber: PERCY!

Selene: Oh yeah? Give me one reason why.

Amber: Percy fell into Tartarus for Annabeth, he held up the sky for her, he told her his Achilles heel, he went on five quests with Annabeth and he has great powers-

Selene: So, his worth is only because of Annabeth?

Amber: Wha- n-no-

Selene: Mhmm...

Apollo: *falls out of the sky* JERCY-!

Austin: *all the way from the Apollo Cabin* DAD! It was supposed to be top secret, remember?!

Apollo: *clears throat* Right, um oh yes! SOLANGELO IS TOTES ADORBS, BYE LOSERS! Oh hey- is that Nico?

Selene: 

Selene: ...That's Danny DeVito-

Apollo: ASDFDFGFDFGFD-

Mr. D: *pops up from Amber's Diet Coke can* ASDFDFGFDFGFD-

Selene: ...where were we again?

Annabeth: *pops up from under the table* *wannabe Hermione accent* Honestly, you two are arguing over who is better. Bye, I'm leaving, you thickheaded baffoons.

The real Amber: HELP- I'M TRAPPED IN THE BODY OF THE PERCY FANGIRL™- MMMMPH-

Amber: What was that- yeah, anyway let's continue. Give me a few reasons as to why you like Jason more.

Selene: Well, he is a great leader, innocent, yet mature at the same time, may not be sarcastic or sassy but is funny in his own way, risked his life multiple times for his friends, usually considers everyone's opinions, fell into the Grand Canyon for a girl he didn't know-

Amber: But did he fall into Tartarus?

Selene: W-Well-

Amber: *slams fist on Buford the table, causing Phil the potato and Steve the bread to go flying* 

Amber: bUt dId hE fAlL iNtO tArTaRuS??

Selene: *sighs* No-

Amber: *smiles victoriously*

Selene: But-

Nico: Uh but-

Will: Uhm excuse me but-

Amber: *slams fist on the table* NO BUTS.

Amber: Percy is better and you know it. He is the best leader around, he is sarcastic, sassy, funny, risks his life regularly for his friends and does heroic stuff on a daily basis. 

Selene: Jason is more mature-

Leo: GIRLS, GIRLS, we all know I'm the best, all da ladies luv Leo! :D  

Amber and Selene together, in a robotic voice: All da ladies luv Leo!!!  

The real Amber and Selene: Dear lord, now we're trapped in the bodies of Leo fangirls™-

Jason: What about guys though?

Leo: What?

Jason: What?

Amber and Selene: ...

Camp Half-Blood: ...

Camp Jupiter: ...

Remy the rat: ...

Taylor Swift: ...

Donald Duck: ...

Hotel Valhalla: hMmMmM fRuItY-

Brooklyn House: *records everything*

Fanfic authors, bursting in through the fourth wall: pRePoStErOuS!!!! *explode everything*

Apollo: *comes crashing in* UHM ANYGAY- #TeamApollo

The Lesterized Apollo: NO. *smacks old Apollo* Shut your trap, please and thank you.

Apollo: *flips hair aggressively* Excuse me, young man, I was here first.

The Lesterized Apollo: I know, but I'm at least better than you!

Apollo: Oh yeah? Well, I can sing better than you!

The Lesterized Apollo: At least I can make better haikus than you!!

Apollo: *huffs* Oh yeah, well, well- *looks around* *spots Lavinia* I can- uh- DANCE better than you. TAKE THAT! *starts doing the Macarena*

The Lesterized Apollo: PFFT please, I can die better than you!!

Will: *mutters* Not the best brag-

Apollo: OH YEAH, I CAN DIE SO WELL, THAT MY GODLY SIBLING THINKS I'M ACTUALLY DEAD!

Magnus: Um, that's not-

Frey: Shush, child. Just let it happen.

Apollo: *spots Frey* *starts drooling over him*

Annabae Cheese, popping out of cheese: yOu dRoOl wHeN yOu sLeEp.

Piper Mc-not-so-Lean: *squeals*

Everyone else: ...

Time skip: It's my time to shine, folks. *flips non-existent blonde hair that are tied in a messy bun*

~time skip as Fight Song plays in the background~

*After the real Amber and Selene were rescued by Gerald Jack, Pan and Diana* 

Selene: Why do people always fight over who is better? I mean, I know we know Percy better, but- 

Amber: -Jason has known about the godly worlds longer, so he has had more time to do heroic acts. 

Selene: Exactly! While Percy led the Battle of Manhattan, somewhere else, Jason, who was only fourteen at that time, led the Romans to defeat Krios and destroy the base of the titans. Plus, we don't even know much about him.

Amber: They are both children of the Big Three and equally powerful. While Percy has been a great demigod and done so many brave acts, Jason has also done the same. 

Fanfic authors:

Fanfic authors: That's stupid. *blow up the universe*

Random Fangirl: *sobs* THEY FORGOT ABOUT ME! Anyway, I'm gonna go find, like, Nico so I can stare into his obsidian orbs and make out with him, and then find Leo so I can, like, marry him, after which I'll go find Persassy, so I can make, like totes adorbs children with him-

 THE END.

~•~•~•~

*Our sense of humor is broken- help-

Anyway, important note for the readers: Please do not start a World War III in the comments. Please. 

Thank you.*