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2K SPECIAL!

THE REDHEAD AND THE BLOND

(No, not you, Clary and Jace.)

by Selene and Amber

Octavian POV

I was kicked out of the Legion. Reyna and the others decided that this Nate kid was a better augur than me. And just like that, I was kicked out, with only my ceremonial knife as a weapon. I was stripped off my everything, my title, my power, even my teddy bears. That had been the worst insult. I might as well have been shot out of an onager.

I felt tears stinging my pale blue orbs as I took out the only teddy bear I had managed to keep, Mr. Snuffles. Its button orbs seemed sad, but not as sad as I felt on the inside. I decided to take refuge on Mount Olympus. Surely, Apollo would welcome me with open arms, and possibly a few teddy bears, so I can become his personal, and favorite augur! I would show those Romans what I was capable of. They would bow down to me and Mr. Snuffles!

~time skip~

After a long, tiring journey, I finally reached the magnificent Mount Olympus. As I was walking through the Empire State Building, I bumped into the graeca Oracle scum.

Wait, what was her name again?

Raquel?

Rach?

Rachel? Yeah.

She glared at me with her enchanting green orbs, a fire raging in them. It was like watching the Garden of Bacchus light up on fire. I shuddered and I felt like my stomach had turned into teddy bear stuffing. I wanted to cower in fear, but I had to do something to show her who was the boss. I T-posed, trying to assert my dominance, but Rachel T-posed right back, and I laughed bitterly.

"You're smart for a Greek," I said, spitting out the word "Greek" like it was venom.

"You're dumb for a Roman," she spat right back.

I chuckled light-heartedly, "Ooh," I said in a mocking tone, which must have made Draco proud, "getting a little feisty, are we?"

Her cheeks tinted a shade of red brighter than her gorgeous red locks that had been tied into a messy bun.

For the first time, I took her all in. She was dressed like she was going to a Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, except she had paint everywhere. Somehow, that made her look even hotter.

"Shut it," she growled in a low voice, that made me feel things for the first time in the eighteen years of my hard-working and stressful life. I'm sure all of you would feel equally stressed if you had to sacrifice stuffed animals to the gods, create diabolical plans about killing all Greeks, actually murdering your own companions, and watch people you don't even care about almost die everyday while you enjoy a nice hot bath with your teddy bear who is second-in-command in your army of true Romans.

"So, where are your Roman friends?" Rachel said, putting her hands on her hips, almost looking like that one "Persassy" drawing I had found and liked on this strange thing called the internet, until I realised it was about the graecus scum, Percy.

Tears sprang into my orbs once more, as I ran my thin, pale fingers through my equally pale hair. I didn't have any more Roman friends to serve me, and I had heard rumors from the traitor Praetor Reyna that Rachel had liked Percy at some point.

I couldn't help it. I started sobbing tears of pure agony and pain. I looked at Rachel with my best broken eighteen-year-old face, hoping she would take pity on me. I could already imagine myself taking the sixteen-year-old in front of me to a Build-A-Bear workshop and then stabbing the bears together while planning to rule the world, no matter what the 2.5 cult said. I could even imagine having little teddy bear obsessed children of ours, running around the house with real knives, as I made more children with my wife, who probably never gave me the consent, because it was still in Atlantis.

But the stupid graecus scum had to ruin everything. How was I supposed to make children with the hottest redhead when the fish dude was strutting about like he owned everything?

Rachel POV

OMGZ HE'S, LIKE, TOTES ADORBS, LIKE, I JUST WANT TO KISS HIS PALE LIPS, AND LIKE, LOOK INTO HIS CERULEAN BLUE ORBS ALL DAY, LIKE, THAT IS EVERY GURLZ DREAM OMG.

BUT I ALSO HAVE TO KEEP UP MY QUIRKY ATTITUDE AND BE A STRONG WOMAN.

BECAUSE, "THIS IS MY FIGHT SONG".

BUT 4 REALS THO, HE'S, LIKE, SO HANDSOME AND THE FACIAL FEATURES ARE, LIKE SOOOOOOOOOOO FINE-

EVEN WHEN HE'S CRYING, HE'S SO PRETTY

PERSASSY JACKSASSON WHO?

I THINK I'M GONNA FAINT!!!!!!!!!!

Oh hey, I fainted. LOL.

Octavian POV

Well, she fainted. Time to be a hero and pick her up bridal style, and magically carry her to Camp!

~time skip~

Rachel POV

I woke up in my cave, to see a very hot blonde dude staring at me.

Was he real?

I must have been dreaming.

He was floating close to me, like an angel, or so it was seeming.

This was weird.

But a good weird.

I've never seen a face as beautiful as-

"Would you like to stab some stuffed toys?" he asked, grinning.

"...what-? Also, what's up with your eye?" I said, noticing the big blue spot growing on his eye.

"Nothing, just that blonde son of Apollo who thinks he can glow like a street lamp on steroids and punch me in the face because I accidentally stabbed his annoying traitor boyfriend."

"What?!"

"Yeah, and then his boyfriend tried to injure me too but I ran away to you."

"This is outrageous! How dare they! I thought they were my friends!! How could they hurt you!!!"

"Why would you care, I'm j- oomph"

I kissed him passionately, and we made out for five hours.

When we finally pulled away for air, I stomped down to the infirmary to find Solangelo while muttering Fight Song under my breath, where Nico was loosing a lot of blood from his chest. Will was trying to heal him the best he could.

I strutted up to them, slapped them both, yelled at them, before running off to make out with my new boyfriend.

It wasn't my fault he was so hot.

~time skip~

We moved out of Camp Half Blood and the gods gifted us our own brand new mansion with 100 floors and 10 cars of our own.

~time skip~

We did the naughty. Oh hey I'm pregnant!

~time skip~

We were married now, with a billion children, who were obviously better than Gruniper's 2.5 kids.

Yeah, I'm too lazy to say their full names, I'd rather just refer to them with their ship names instead.

Anyway, we grew old and then died together on a quest due to a bad case of backstab-itis.

THE END

*As you can see, all of this is obviously non-cliché.

Dear Octavian apologists, please pardon us. Thank you.*