I got tagged so here

1. Do I like someone?
If fictional characters count. If not then maybe the tiny internet crush I have on this one girl counts..?

2. Do they like me?
Doubt anyone likes me like that

3. Middle name?
Unimportant

4. Single or taken?
Single, like I said doubt anyone likes me

5. Last person I texted?
My mom.

6. Last song I listened to?
Currently listening to this (lots of cursing in it by the way)

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

7. Battery?
56%

8 & 9. Best friend?
Sammi

10. Fave OTP?
Currently Moxiety bc it's really sweet

11. Why you made your account?
Thought fanfic was cool, ended up writing my own

12. Current lock screen?

Lock screen:

Home screen:

13. Birthday?
September 13th

And I don't tag people, so I'm done. Yay

I'm gonna talk for a bit now and rant a little bit, but before I do I just wanna say I'm not trying to worry anybody. I'm going to be fine. Just..... feeling a little frustrated with myself, and life.

Now that I've said that, here we go. One more warning-may talk about some triggering things, so don't read it if it'll bother you. I am sorry.

So..... look, my week hasn't been bad. I've had a lot of fun hanging out with family, and I'm actually somewhat excited to move down to Florida. So it's not like I'm saying my life is terrible, it's really not. Which is why I can't really figure out why I'm still so...... sad, and angry 

I guess there are a couple things I'm angry at myself for. One being that the hole for my nose ring is gone, because I'm a fucking moron and couldn't get my nose ring back in. The other being that I'm probably going to be stuck with regular braces because I couldn't keep up with the Invisalign trays because I'm forgetful and sometimes just lazy. I'm mad at myself for being mad at myself too, cause that makes sense right? I mean, I'm just so frustrated and I don't know why and that makes me even more frustrated.

Because I've been feeling so bad lately..... I almost scratched up my stomach and legs again. Which is what I used to do all the time when I was frustrated. I don't want to, but at the same time I'm just so angry and I feel like maybe I deserve it because I just keep screwing up over and over again with so many different things

(Again. I won't. I'm trying my best to keep it together so don't worry too much. Not that anyone really reads this)

I'll be honest. The only thing really keeping me from feeling too bad is knowing that when I get back home 1. I get to see my dog, and 2. I get to talk to my friend.

And I know that rather than venting on here to pretty much only one person I should probably be like, actually talking to someone. But I feel annoying, and I mean it's not that important right? I'm not that important. And I know someone might think otherwise but I also know that even though some people might not think I'm annoying other people do. I mean, plenty of them have said it to my face. That they felt like I only went to talk to them when I had problems. So I just.... stopped going to people about anything. Because I don't want to throw my problems on to other people. And I didn't think I did that, but clearly I did it enough to be annoying. And I don't want to be annoying. I don't want to bother other people.

I just wish it were easier for me to deal with my problems on my own. Then I wouldn't be venting in here, and I wouldn't have to bother other people.

Anyways. Before I cry anymore and my eyes get red and puffy I'm going to stop. I don't want anyone finding out I've been feeling bad-then I'd just ruin my families moods or they'd pretty much just tell me "stop being sad" and then leave me alone anyways.

Thanks for listening to me, if you read this far. I guess getting it out kind of helped maybe a little bit. I'm gonna go distract myself with something else now I guess. Bye-Oliver