Warning: I'm grieving. This is about a loss I have gone through. Please don't read if thinking of loss will bother you.

Missing someone isn't easy in any circumstances. It's an emptiness, a cold that settles deep into your bones and writhes and screams for them to be here, now. It demands to feel them close, and will only ever leave when you get to feel their warmth when they wrap you in a hug, or squeeze your hand in theirs, or gently drag their nails over your arm in a gentle, relaxing touch.

Missing someone is hard, but at least it's manageable when you know they're coming back. When you know the cold will be replaced soon with their bright smile, their warm soul. It's easier then, because you know the aching cold won't last.

Missing someone who can't come back is different. The painful cold can't be warmed, and it won't ever go away. The cold might be dulled by other warm presences, but they will never be the exact same warmth as they were. They will never fully warm the empty cold.

So I'm stuck. Cold and aching down into my hollowed bones. I'll never be fully warm again. I'll never stop missing.

But at least I can dull the cold. And that is what I'll count on.