Finally isn't a tag but I am gonna be complaining (nothing too serious or anything I'm just being bitchy but like if you have dysphoria that gets worse when reading about other people's dysphoria don't read this)

So like. Periods. They're the absolutely fucking worst.

The whole bleeding part is bad enough. Then on top of that there's just gotta be the unbearable pain of cramps that won't go away, which is topped with even worse back pain than normal

Which means that I can't bind, which means dysphoria over periods is also linked with chest dysphoria because there's nothing I can do about my chest, and I also can't pack like I usually do for bottom dysphoria either so like. Got the whole fucking thing of dysphoria all at once.

Then of course, the absolute worst part of periods, somehow even worse than awful dysphoria-fucking emotions. They're all over the place. Like, one second I'm cool and relaxed and everything's good and then one thing happens and suddenly I've got actually tears in my eyes that I'm trying not to actually be seen with (which causes even more dysphoria bc unfortunately I can't help but associate crying with being weak and unmanly, even tho that's stupid). It doesn't help that while I'm lying here in pain my mom keeps randomly saying my name loudly(loud yelling or loud sounds in general spike my anxiety), and also keeps telling me to get up and do something and like yeah okay maybe I should but I'm in pain and it's the weekend anyways so why can't I just have a day to myself where I get to do my own thing why do I have to be bosses around especially when I'm feeling like shit

Ugh I'm so annoyed and I'm so embarrassed at the fact that I get to moody and shit on my periods. It's so stupid and I feel like nothing I feel even matters anyways cause it's all caused by my period but it still feels awful

I don't really know what the point of me writing this here is but I'm just so annoyed and I felt like getting it out somewhere. I just. Wanna cry and curl up in a ball and go back to sleep. But I can't sleep, because I'm trying so hard today to fix my sleep schedule so I can actually get sleep at night instead of all fucking day like I have been. Agh, I'm just gonna go read something and distract myself