To every one who asked for an update. To you who are reading this now...

This is POL, after years of silence - let us reassume the journey where we left off. ♡♡

Mohabbat

Tuj pe aaya dil
ya dil pe aaya tu
Heraan hum hai,
Ke dil pe aaya tu

Gauri felt the warmth of sun on her cheek as she slowly drifted into wakefulness. She kept her eyes closed, suddenly overwhelmed with an unfounded fear. Had last night been a dream? Had Omkara really approached her and said all those heartfelt things? Or had her distraught mind conjured up a new illusion to plaster her bleeding heart? Will she wake up curled beside her bed, dishevelled and bruised from the latest heartbreak?
An ache shoot up along her neck as she moved, craned into an uncomfortable position all night long; Gauri realized she couldn't move, there was a weight stop her head, gentle yet unyielding. She held still, eats straining all senses now on alert. There was a soft fabric beneath her palm. Though their scalded skin still stinged she had gathered a fistful of that fabric in her sleep. The side of her cheek was pressed against something warm and solid, as she held still it moved in gentle rises and falls; like breathing. There was no mistaking of the scent that was faintly of mint and spice but lot more of Omkara himself. In her ears, dimmed now by the pounding of her heart, poured in the slightly muffled background score of Tom and Jerry.
When did she fall asleep? Gauri tried to catch her breath, calm it into a pretence of sleeping. But her heart was on her throat, choking her. Most importantly when did she curl up against him? And he? Why was he wrapped in her; she could feel one of his arms around her shoulders, the gentle press of his chin on her hair. Had they always been so naturally fitting? As if she was made to fit into the gaps left out by his much larger frame - two pieces of puzzle finding each other?
Involuntarily her fingers curled, bunching up what she now realized was Omkara's shirt. And then somewhere very close to her ear a camera went 'snap'!
"Rudra - tu kya kar raha hai?" Shivay tried to sound disapproving, but he couldn't help the smile that sneaked its way into his voice or the warming of his heart at the sight before him. It had been quite a long time since he'd seen his Om without the perpetual darkness that lurked around him. Even though he had his reservations about this entire episode of Omkara's marriage if it paves way for Om to find himself, for him to unburden himself - if Gauri whatever be her reasons could bring that Om back to them - he'd do anything to keep them together.
Shivay had been awoken to Rudra's incessant shaking. His younger brother had then proceeded to keep a finger on his lips and after mutely swearing him to silence had taken him creeping (like thieves along their own halls) down to the TV lobby. It had been the bluish hours of dawn - around six am - and they found Omkara and Gauri asleep in each other's arms, a nonstop set of Tom and Jerry running in the background. Until that moment he had been quite grumpy about having to wake up a long time before his secretary would dare to call him for the days briefing. But now Rudra stood before him chest puffed out with pride at his own achievement. So he asked unable to help himself as his younger brother took that embarrassing snap.
"Rudra - tu kya kar raha hai?"
"Wohi toh main sochun," Rudra said dramatically. "So much was happening - History was being written - O ki love story ka poora naksha badal raha tha - and what was I doing? Do you know Bhaiya if I had not woken up for a snack - and suddenly- suddenly realized that I was out of my favourite snack and came down for a refill - yeh raaz - raaz hi rehe jaata." He said solemnly. "Nobody would know -"
"I could still kill you and nobody would know - dumbbell Oberoi," Omkara said sleepily. Rudra jumped a little not knowing he had woken up and was exchanging glares with Shivay the entire time. His ears were tainted red, otherwise he seemed unaffected at having been caught by his younger brother. All the while he spoke he did not move, did not try to wake Gauri, instead he shifted easing her into a more comfortable position against him.
This was an advantage of having lived for so long with Rudra for a brother. It took a lot more than getting caught embracing your fiancee to embarrass an Oberoi.
"Aha! But I came with witness-" Rudra pointed out his eyes on Shivay. "And -" he waved the mobile in his hand. "The most important evidence is recorded in my phone. You know O - electronic evidence?"
"I could give you a hand in killing him -" Shivay added wickedly, smirking at the frozen smile on Rudra's face. "Khanna would see to your electronic evidence. Kya bol ta hai Om?"
"Body ka kya karange?" Omkara asked seriously. It took all Gauri's will power not to laugh. She could hardly resist her urge to crack one eye open and see what expression Rudra was wearing at both his elder brothers getting on board with the idea of his murder.
"Let's shut it in his wardrobe," Shivay suggested nonchalantly. "His room normally stinks like he's hiding a body, nobody would notice."
Omkara's chest rumbled with laughter beneath her. It was a pleasant sound and it filled her with warmth. His arm tightened around her as Rudra whined.
"Aap dono bhai ho ke kasai?"
"Chal bhaag!" Shivay was saying, laughing as Rudra said something more - their voices drew distant as they walk away.
"They left," Omkara said after a moment. "Gauri, I know you are awake."
She opened her eyes slowly, reluctantly. Omkara shifted again, pulling away from her. His eyes remained watching her. Gauri felt her cheeks warming yet again, breath hitched in her throat. She wasn't sure what to say - how to say it. Everything had been easier the night before. Her pain had been so raw, her Hope's so crushed - that she did not care what flavour her words carried. But a lot had happened since then. Finally, it was Omkara who saved them both from that peculiar awkwardness. Automatically one of his hands came up to tuck her hair behind her ear. It felt so natural for the tips of his fingers to trail across her face.
"Good morning!" His voice was thick with sleep. It stirred something inside her that had Gauri gulping.
"Hmm," she said unintelligible.
Omkara took her wrists with gentle hands and examined her palms. Those burns still stung, but the process of healing had begun. He traced the uninjured part of her palm with a finger and her fingers curled at the sensation.
"Dardh ho raha hai?" He asked her softly. Raising his head he caught her eye and mutely Gauri shook her head. "Will you allow me to take you out today?"
"Where?"
"Hai ek jagha." His voice was shrouded in mystery. He drew closer and dropped his head. "A secret place." He whispered.
"Hum ajnabi logo ke saath anjaan jagao pe nahi jaate," she whispered back. It thrilled her, how they put their heads together to whisper - like they were two children once again.
Omkara's eyes glittered in laughter.
"Achcha ji?" He said in all seriousness.
"Haan ji," she replied. Then unable to help herself she laughed.
Omkara allowed that sound to wash over him, allowed his heart to soak up the involuntary happiness. He hadn't asked for this - this miracle of a girl - hadn't known she existed yo prag for her - but still heavens had found it right to put her in his bleak life; like a prism that scattered rainbows everywhere.
"Chalongi?" He asked again.
She nodded now, beaming, cheeked flushed in happiness.
"What should I wear?" She asked now and he could detect a hint of insecurity. Omkara guiltily reflected back to the times he had branded her a gold digger, social climber who tried to grab every opportunity to fluent her new status. He had willingly blinded himself to all that Gauri was - all those endearingly wonderful things that made her who she was, without the pomp and polish his family tried to give her.
"Kuch bhi," he said shrugging. "Even this is good."
"Arrey - this is a sleepwear," she exclaimed and then shook her head. Finally extracting herself fully from his embrace, she stood up. There was nothing sleepwear - ish about the kurti that she wore, complete with a dupatta that hang haphazardly from one of her shoulders now. Omkara pursued his lips having enough good sense not to point that out.
"Wear something comfortable," he told her. "Something that doesn't make you feel stifled."
He was yet to shake off her words from before. Gauri had told him that his world made her suffocate. He did not want to hold on to something that made her feel so restrained. Gauri smiled, a little wistfully.
"Hum abhi aate hai," she promised softly and went away, back towards her room.
*
"We are taking the train?" Gauri's voice was alight with a childlike excitement. To complete the picture she even had her hands clapped together. Omkara nodded and held out his hand to pull her abroad. She clung to him, pressed to his side in the crowded compartment. This was not his usual morning train and it was fuller with people commuting to their workplaces during the rush morning hour.
"Teek ho?" He asked her, once when she stumbled and fell against him, hitting her forehead against his shoulder. Omkara steadied her and covered her with his body to stop her from being shoved again. He rubbed her forehead with his fingertips.
"Koi dekh lenga," she muttered, shoving his hand away. He shook his head. No matter how many classes they gave her she was still a stranger in his world.
"No they won't," he said. "People see what they want to see Gauri. They don't expect Omkara Singh Oberoi on a train so they don't see me, even if I take this train three times a week."
"You do?" Her eyes were rounded with surprise.
"Not this precise one. But yes, I go by train. Aaj tak no tabloid got a wind of that."
She seemed to think about it and slowly nodded.
"Relax," Omkara told her. "We won't end up in any newspaper."
"It's not that -" Gauri said in a low voice. "Woh right mein jo auntiji hai -" her voice trailed off and Omkara had to drop his head lower to listen. "Aise ghoor rahi hai jaise-" she pushed him with a gentle hand. "Doorr raho!"
"Kamal hai!" Omkara snatched hold of her hand, entwining their fingers together. When the next shove from the crowd came he pulled her closer, looking defiantly at the offending older woman. "I'm travelling with my fiancee and -" Gauri stumbled right into his arms and he muttered the rest of his sentence into her ear. "Usse mirchi lagi toh main kya karoo?"
She giggled, there were tears dangling from her lashes as she dug her head into his shoulder and continued to giggle. The older woman shifted in her seat and turned away, looking out of the window with a resolute frown, not before muttering something which looked suspiciously like badtameez.
*
The sea was giggling, a sound that drowned all else. Omkara breathed the salty freshness in the air with relief, his fingers still entwined with Gauri's. Their feet dug into the wet sand and left a trail of footprints when they moved towards the caves.
His half finished artwork awaited them, gentle ripples lapping at the feet of the white marble idol - as if washing Shivji's feet with milky white foam. He did not have time to come here, work on finishing the idol. But as he woke up that morning Omkara had felt such an undeniable urge to be here - a call he could not unheed.
Gauri's hand slipped from his as she clasped them together in utter devotion. Head bowed and eyes closed in prayer. He watched her in silence, overcome by the peace upon her face. It was a half finished artwork for him, but she saw God there - and in her - he realized with a jolt - he saw what his work was lacking; faith.
"It's the most beautiful thing I've seen," she told him with tears in her eyes. "Thank you, for bringing me here."
He took her hand in his, realizing how he sought for that contact.
"There's another place to go." He said guiding her back away from the shore. "We didn't come to see that."
"No?" She asked him. "Then what did we come to see?"
"Me," he couldn't quite meet her eye as he said that. They had come up while talking, she could very well see the bord that spelled out the name of his rehab. Omkara stood there, suddenly numb, suddenly struck with second thoughts. He did volunteer there, taught an art class when they wanted a step in for their regular instructor, went to their charities, donated to their fundraisers, did their artwork pro - bono, but still this was different from all that. This was baring himself, all his ugly scars - all his fears - to her. This was giving Gauri a power over himself that Omkara never allowed anyone.
But then, this was the truth that she deserved. He felt her squeezing his hand. When he turned to her, those soft eyes were brimming for him.
"When I was fifteen - mom and Mr. Oberoi almost separated. Mom started to drink and he - he started seeing Svetlana. It was the year Shivay went abroad and I was left to my own devises. I wanted not to think of everything going downhill - and before I know it everything spiralled out of control."
They sat on one of the benches. The garden was blissfully empty and Gauri did not let his hand go. She didn't disturb him with questions as he told her the story of his darkest years, of how running away from problems had landed him in a pit of hell. Omkara couldn't look at her. He knew that if he did - her eyes would render him mute. Sk instead he focused on their entwined hands, laying on his lap and continued in a flat voice.
He told her how he went from curiosity to addiction. From harmless fun to pleasurable pain. His words shook as he told her of the vivid corset that filled his vision, of hazy oblivion that he was fond of. And he told her of the overdose.
"I don't remember much. Mom was crying - crying - I- I couldn't bear it any longer. I wanted to close my ears. I wanted silence. And I- I felt useless. I was seventeen then. I could have died. I almost died. I was in a coma for little over three weeks. The doctors had said - Shivay told me - they said I was in the hands of God. But even god didn't keep me long."
At this he turned to look at her. There was a trail of silent tears draining down her face. She made no effect to wipe it off. Instead her eyes flickered up and held his. Gauri knew what he was going to say before he said anything.
"I came back. But I had lost a lot. My hands shook terribly. I couldn't hold a pencil for over a month. My speech slurred and my mind was scattered. My memory wasn't complete." He paused. "Some of it never came back. I think all the bad - sad things did, but the good was lost forever. Just like the good in me was gone, leaving a rotten blackened me instead."
His thumb drew circles on the back if her palm.
"I don't remember you Gauri."
Her eyes fluttered closed at that, tears draining away.
"I don't know you were writing to me until I got all your letters recently. Choti mom had kept them. But -" he pressed on. "I don't know why I didn't write to you. Why I didn't think of reaching out. I don't remember- I can't even give an excuse."
Omkara hung his head.
"There's a lot wrong with me. A lot that a childhood friendship can't smooth off. If you are still holding on to that - Gauri - you should let go."
"I know you are not the boy I knew a long time ago Om," she said finally. The shortened version of his name slipped from her lips like a benediction. "Itna paagal chireyya bhi nahi hai hum. I knew it the day of the roka itself that there is a lot more to you. I came here knowing that it isn't going to be easy. I don't want you to change yourself for me. I just -" she exhaled. "I don't know myself what I want. But I want you. I want us. I want to think that I did not make a mistake by loving you for so long."
"Gauri hum -"
"Humse pyaar nahi karte," Gauri filled the blanks for him. "Patha hai. I'm a stranger to you Omkara ji, it would be strange to fall in love so fast. Especially when someone else had broken your heart. Yeh jo humara pyaar hai woh humara problem hai. You don't have to worry about it. Aap hum par biswaas karna shuroo kiya hai that's enough for now."
"Vishvaas," Omkara said automatically.
"Haan wohi," Gauri made a face. She had a hard time with tutors correcting her accent that she grimaced at the lapse into her normal speech.
"I appreciate you told me this," she continued. "That aap ne muje isski laayak samjha." She took his hand with both of hers, her voice solemn. "Hum yeh biswaas kabhi tootne nabi denge."
Unable to help himself Omkara reached across and kissed her forehead.
"Bohot achchi ho tum," he murmured.
"Hum kuch mangenge toh dedenge?" She asked.
"Maang ke dekho."
"Food!" She said with a flash of a smile. Omkara blinked.
"Huh?"
"Haan," she said. "I'm starving." Then for extra effect she wiggled her fingers. "And injured. Toh apne haato se khilana bhi parenga!"
**
I don't even know people are still around to read this. I can hardly hope. But if you are here - leave a word so I can know.
A big hug for staying around and keeping your faith in me. Love you!
Thanks for reading!