75| Neat little bow

Alyssa
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I wake up expecting to see Max beside me, but find an empty space instead. Panic sets in, and I'm already convincing myself of the worst when the front door clicks. Max walks into the living holding a bakery bag filled with the scents of warm pastries and freshly brewed coffee.

God, I'm an idiot.

"Hey," he says softly, walking toward me. I get to my feet, still wrapped in blankets, and let him kiss my forehead. "I went and got breakfast. I didn't want to wake you."

"I thought maybe you'd changed your mind about us," I murmur, breathing him in. "Either that, or Justin had kidnapped you."

He nuzzles my neck, and it feels so good that I'm reluctant to let him move. "I'm never changing my mind," he promises, "and I'd like to see that twig try." He breaks away from me, a less than innocent look in his eye. "Get dressed while I set up breakfast. If your mom catches us like this, I'm a dead man."

Even though he's right, I can't help but pout. He grins, tilts my chin with his thumb, and gives me a quick kiss. "Go and put some clothes on for both of our sakes."

"Fine." Still wrapped in the blanket, I pick up the clothes I left in the living room and hurry upstairs to shower. By the time I return to the kitchen, preened and ready for school, Max has set out a breakfast spread fit for the gods: pastries, bacon, hot coffee, and a single red rose in a vase like it's five-star room service.

Walking behind him, I gently kiss the side of his neck. "Are you trying to win over my mom with pastries?"

"That depends," he says, turning around until facing me. "Will it work?"

I laugh at how hopeful he sounds. "My mom hates carbs, but she'd appreciate the gesture." Stomach growing, I sit on a barstool, picking up the coffee and a croissant. After a big bite, I say, "Mmmm." Max circles the table, and my eyes don't leave him as I take another bite. "So delicious. So warm."

His jaw tightens, clearly amused. He stands close, thumb brushing my lips, eyes darkening. He's about to speak when my mom walks in and clears her throat.

Max moves faster than I've seen him, stumbling over the bar stool leg before catching himself. I swivel to look at my mom properly, feeling my stomach knot. She looks a mess, her tousled, eyes weighed down with fatigue, and it hurts to see her like this.

"Morning," I say softly, motioning to the food. "Max got us breakfast."

She offers him a tight smile. "Thanks," she replies, taking a seat at the barstool. She pours herself a hot coffee, her gaze fixed on the rising steam.

The room fills with the sound of forks and quiet sips. "So, you don't have to worry about Justin's dad anymore," I say to break the silence. "Or the money you owe. Whatever happens with Justin, I'm pretty sure he won't throw his dad under the bus, and they'd be stupid to risk trying anything again. I guess the only thing we need to decide now is what happens next."

I hold my breath as my mother looks over. I can see her mentally preparing herself for the conversation, the weight of her decision evident in her gaze. After an eternity, she says, "I think we should sell the house."

I don't say anything for a long time. Even though I knew selling the house was inevitable, I was still unprepared to hear her say it. This house was her dream house, the same one she spent years trying to perfect, and now, she's willing to give it up. "Are you sure?"

She nods as if she's thought this through. "You're moving to college soon," she says softly, fingers clenched around her coffee. The tips have turned so white that I know she must be anxious. "I can't stand to be in this big, empty house. If it's okay with you, I'd like to move out of the Palisades and find a smaller place closer to Stanford."

Honestly, I'm relieved. I loved growing up in the Palisades, but I know it's time for a change. "I think that's a good idea," I say, reaching across the table to squeeze her hand. "What about dad?"

My mother takes a long, drawn-out breath. Until now, I'd avoided bringing him up in conversation out of fear it would make her further withdrawn, but right now, she doesn't look depressed.

She looks determined.

"I don't know where he is or what he's doing," she says slowly, "and I don't care." She pauses, running a thumb over the handle of her coffee mug. "I've already spoken to a lawyer. I'm planning to divorce your father."

Under the table, Max's fingers find mine. He gives my hand a firm, reassuring squeeze, a silent promise to be here no matter what. I hold him tightly, fighting the lump in my throat. Even though my father left weeks ago, and we were broken before that, this news scares me.

My mother stands, glancing between us with what I think might be hope. "I think I'll head upstairs for a little while. Alyssa, it's okay if you don't want to attend school today. After last night, I'm sure you're exhausted."

"I am," I say, still half in shock, "but I need to go. The longer I stay away, the more out of control the rumors will get. I need to show my face."

I feel the look she gives me deep in my soul. "Sometimes I forget just how brave you are." Then, without another word, she heads upstairs. I lean into Max, resting my head on his shoulder, holding my warm coffee cup. What a week.

"Are you alright?" Max asks.

"I'm fine," I say, not sure if I mean it. "I just didn't expect to feel this sad about everything. He's been gone for weeks."

"You've been dealing with a lot," he says, kissing my temple. "Sometimes it takes a minute to catch up with you."

I don't say anything for the longest time, struggling to describe how I feel. Eventually, I say, "I know he's probably busy living it up on some tropical island, but I just want to know he's okay and that I don't have to worry about him anymore. I guess that sounds silly when he doesn't seem to care about me."

"It's not silly. I felt the same way when my dad bailed. All I wanted was to hear from him one last time, and then I knew I'd be able to let go."

"And did you?" I ask hopefully. "Hear from him?"

He tucks back my hair, torn between wanting to protect me and not wanting to lie. "No, but I learned to deal with it."

My heart sinks. "How?"

"I told myself not everything ties into a neat little bow," he says. "Life has loose ends. Sometimes maturing means knowing you'll never get the closure you want and moving on anyway."

I run my fingers back and forth over his, surprisingly comforted by this. "Just for the record, if you ever move on without me again, I will hunt you down."

He smirks and kisses the tip of my nose, sending goosebumps along my skin. "Believe me when I say you never have to worry about that. Speaking of violence, have you told your mom about the fight tomorrow? I figured she'd at least be pissed about it."

"Technically, no," I say. "It might be too much for her to handle right now. I want tomorrow to be about me. I don't want to have to worry about her."

He nods like he gets it, and I know he truly does. He understands me like no one else. Standing up, he helps me to stand as well. "I need to head to work in a minute, but I'll stop by again tonight. You sure you're going to be okay at school?"

"I'm sure," I say, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him. The truth is, even though I used to be terrified, I'm no longer scared of the rumors. I don't care what people think. I used to think the worst thing that could happen to me was falling off my pedestal, but now I see that falling was never the problem; it was the pedestal itself. For once, I'm happy on the ground.

***

Justin's arrest is all anyone can talk about. I keep my head up and steer clear of the crowds, but my efforts are tested when I hear the nasty rumor Marnie's spreading. Supposedly, I invited Justin over and then called the cops, accusing him of breaking in, all because he confessed his feelings for her.

As if.

"It's the dumbest rumor I've ever heard, and Marnie has made up a lot of dumb rumors in her time," Tiana says as I sort through my locker. I'm not searching for anything specific. but after a morning of disputing said rumors, determined not to let Justin worm his way out of trouble, I need a break.

"I'm not even mad," I tell my locker mirror. "I feel sorry for them." The truth is, all I see when I look at Marnie and Justin are my parents, and look how that turned out. "Those are the actions of someone deeply unhappy."

I should know.

"I'd be unhappy too with that dye job," Tee says in a bid to make me feel better. "I can see her roots from here."

I roll my eyes as Marnie and her minions walk past, barely sparing us a second glance. Part of me thinks she knows I don't fear her anymore, so instead of calling me out directly, she's doing it behind my back. Little does she know, I don't care about that anymore either. Turning to Tiana, I say, "Are you still coming to my fight tomorrow?"

"Of course," she says, hooking her arm through mine, "but just know that the second I see teeth flying, I'm out of there."

Arm-in-arm, we head to class, ignoring the stares and whispers passing us. "That's what the gumshield is for."

"Well, good. Your mom didn't spend all that money fixing your teeth so they could end up on the floor." My mouth falls open as she glances over and smiles. "What? It's true."

"You're lucky I like you."

"You're lucky I like you."

We enter the classroom, and even Miss Granger gives me a curious look, as if she's heard the rumors. I shrug it off, sitting at the back with Tiana and glancing at Kino's empty space. He's still not feeling well enough to come back, but I'll make sure to get any homework or notes and drop them off to him later. For now, I focus on the front, ignoring the dozens of turned heads as if everything is fine, because it is. And when college starts in the fall, all this – Justin, high school – will feel like a distant dream.

I can't wait.

A/N

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