"LET'S GET married," he blurted out, as if he was simply inviting me to dinner.

Napatigil ako sa pagpulot nang mga damit kong nagkalat sa sahig. I looked at him in disbelief.

"What?" My forehead creased.

He just blurted out those words as if getting married is just playing games.

"I said, let's get married," pag-ulit niya.

I laughed at him dahil akala ko isa 'to sa mga pagbibiro niya, but then I stopped when I saw the serious look on his face.

"Please tell me you're joking,"

"I am not—"

"What are you saying, Cash?! Are you crazy?!" sigaw ko sakaniya dahil sigurado akong hindi nga siya nagbibiro sa sinasabi niya. Nanlaki 'yung mga mata ko habang nakatingin sa seryoso niyang mukha. Does he think getting married is a joke? I scoffed in annoyance.

We fuck. Yes, all the time! However, we are not even in a relationship.

For Pete's sake, we don't even have a label! We only talk to each other when we're both horny.

There is no commitment.

There are no strings attached, just pure sex...

That's our relationship, or I'm not sure if it can even be called a relationship. When we want sex or a fuck buddy, it's more like a booty call... Actually, it's more like a business with him than a relationship.

I scoffed, "Is this about your father again?" I asked him while I resumed getting dressed, habang siya nakahiga pa rin sa kama niya nang hubo't hubad.

Alam kong I'm not following the rules that we've set between us, but we're talking about marriage here, and I can't just get married. Lalo na sakaniya na alam kong ginagawa lang niya 'to para makaganti sa tatay niya.

He climbed out of the bed and stood in front of me. Naked. I stared at his Greek-like body and perfectly sculptured face. Yup, he is definitely smoking hot. He has the perfect face and is the best in bed, but hell no... Hindi naman ako ganon kababaw para lang pumayag ikasal sakaniya dahil lang sa katawan at mukha niya.

Hindi ako papayag ikasal sa taong alam kong hindi naman ako kayang mahalin pabalik. He was the one who told me that he would never fall in love again. So that's the risk I'm not going to take.

I broke my heart to three different guys, and I don't have any plans on making him the fourth guy who'll break my heart into pieces.

He runs his hand through his hair frustratedly. Then he took a deep breath before staring back at me.

"Please, Serenity? Just help me with this one..." he begged, yet I've never seen him begging to anyone, but he is begging me right now. Pero kahit gaano pa siyang magmakaawa sa'kin, hindi ako papayag.

Alam kong hindi maayos ang relasyon nilang dalawa ng tatay niya, kaya lang niya 'to ginagawa. And I also know that he's just doing this to get back to his father. And I don't want to be in the middle of their fight. That's their issue, at hindi ako papayag na madamay sa kung ano man ang pinag-aawayan nila.

I won't let him make me collateral damage.

I shook my head repeatedly. "No, I will not agree to marry you, Cash," I said, unwavering.

I'm a strong person, but he's stronger because he has the power to make me weak. And I'm stupid enough to give him that power. I'm stupid enough to fall for him despite our set of rules – na ako mismo ang gumawa.

"Why not? We can get divorced after a year if our marriage doesn't work," sabi niya na parang ganon lang kadali lahat 'yon.

"You don't even love me, Cash. I am not some kind of object that you can use and then dispose of afterwards! At anong kapalit kung ikakasal tayo? Will that make you happy?" I said, a bit frustrated.

"Yes, Serenity! That will make me happy because I will win this never-ending battle with my own Dad!"

"Fuck you!" I yelled at him and started walking away.

Nakita kong mabilis siyang nagsuot ng boxers niya at sinundan ako palabas ng kuwarto niya.

"Serenity, please just help me with this one..." sabi niya nang pigilan niya ako sa paglalakad palabas.

Mahal ko siya pero hindi ko hahayaang gamitin niya ako para lang makaganti siya sa Tatay niya.

Mali na nga na minahal ko siya. Kaya mas lalong hindi ako papayag na gumawa pa ng isang pagkakamali dahil lang mahal ko siya.

Utak muna bago puso.

Tinanggal ko ang pagkahawak niya sa'kin at mabilis na naglakad. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I can't let love overpower me again... not again.

Hinabol niya ako ulit at mabilis na hinawakan sa kamay, "Serenity please..." he said. Hindi ko na kailangan pang lumingon para makita na sobrang desperado na talaga niya. But I can't gamble my heart on his game.

My eyes were starting to get watery and then I turned to him and said, "I love you, Cash!" I confessed my feelings to him, at baka sakaling makonsensya naman siya sa hinihiling niya sa'kin.

"I am fucking in love with you! But that doesn't mean that you have the right to use me!" I exclaimed and let my tears fall.

His eyes widened in shock at my sudden outburst and confession. I slowly peeled off his hand from mine.

Hindi siya nakapag salita dahil sa gulat. He looks really confused and surprised. He was caught off guard, so I took that chance to leave.

"Please... let's just end this. I'm not your trophy that you can boast about and use to get back to someone... to anyone. Especially your Dad." pinunasan ko 'yung mga luha sa mata ko.

"Goodbye, Cash," I said before I turned my back and started walking away from him with a heavy heart.

And that's how he became the guy who fixed my broken heart just to break it again in pieces...

#

It's a miracle how I was able to drive and get back home safely. My eyes were bloodshot red, kaya hindi na ako nag-abala pang itago na umiyak ako.

"Mabuti nalang at nakauwi kana. Nagluto ako ng—"

I didn't waste a second and I immediately run towards Tia and hugged her while I start crying again.

"Sera? Anong nangyari?" Tia asked worriedly, but I just kept on crying to her until I felt her patting my back and let me cry all the pain away.

I swore not to fall in love again.

I swore to myself that power should rule over love... always. But I'm stupid enough to let myself fall in love with him despite all the rules that we've set. Ang tanga ko lang na hinayaan ko 'yung sarili ko na mahalin siya kahit na alam kong delikado.

"Gusto mo bang pag-usapan?" Tanong ni Tia nang medyo kumalma na ako. Nasa sala kami at magkaharap habang nakaupo kami sa couch.

Mabilis akong umiiling, "S-si Evo?" I asked.

"Kanina pa tulog. Kanina ka pa nga hinahantay, e."

"Sorry," malungkot na sabi ko. "Maghilamos lang ako tapos puntahan ko siya sa kuwarto," dagdag ko and she nodded.

I immediately went to the washroom and I scrubbed every corner of my body as if that would remove every touch and kiss that Cash had done to my body.

I touched the side of my neck and there's a visible love bite that Cash gave me just a while ago... before everything went south between us.

Halos isang oras akong naligo dahil ilang beses kong pinilit na tanggalin ang marka na ginawa ni Cash pero sino bang niloloko ko? Alam kong malabong matanggal ko 'to kaya nilagyan ko nalang ng concealer bago ako lumabas para puntahan si Evo sa kuwarto niya.

Pagpasok ko sa kuwarto niya ay mahimbing na siyang natutulog kaya hinalikan ko nalang siya sa pisngi bago ako lumabas. Bumalik nalang ako sa kusina para puntahan si Tita.

I sighed for the nth time.

"Sino ba 'yang lalaking nagpapaiyak sayo ha para mapuntahan at masapak!" sabi ni Tia at natawa ako dahil sa sinabi niya.

Bilib din ako sa babaeng 'to, e! Sobrang tapang kahit sobrang dami nang pinagdaanan sa buhay. Para bang hindi siya naaapektuhan t'wing may problema siya at palagi lang siyang lumalaban.

"He's not worth it," I replied.

"Hindi worth it, pero bakit iniiyakan mo?"

"Kasi tanga ako, kasi hinayaan ko 'yung sarili ko na mahalin siya," nagsimulang magtubig 'yung mga mata ko.Sandaling napabuntong hininga siya at saka hinawakan 'yung kamay ko.

"Siya ang tanga Sera at hindi ikaw... Mas tanga siya dahil pinakawalan pa niya ang isang kagaya mo."

W H A T Y A S E Y