Pregnant?

The thought makes me vomit more violently. The fish I ate is regurgitated in a sick sense of retribution.

Dramon's hands are tight around me. He has one at my waist, and one under my breasts, barely cupping one of them. I don't think he realizes that he's touching me there, but my body is tingling with awareness. Those breasts— the ones that belong to this Rider King, would now belong to a child as well.

I'm not ready. I can't do this yet. Not when Dramon and I aren't stable. I'll love this child, but I'll hate the environment I'm raising them in.

When my stomach is empty, I focus on murmurs behind us. Some people don't even hold back their cheers. Children are so rare on this planet that they're beloved. Our clan is ecstatic that they would have a little one to coo over, while I'm terrified.

Dramon gestures for a man to come forward. One that looks almost as tall as he steps up and places his foreign hands at my hips to hold me steady. Dramon's beast huffs as if annoyed that a stranger is so close. I feel just as uncomfortable having his hands on me.

Dramon lifts one of his mighty thighs and swings off the back of his beast. The second he's on the ground, he nods his man away, grabs me, and helps me down.

I close my eyes and try to find my balance. The nausea is still bad, but my heaving is over.

I feel a thousand sets of eyes on me, like the very sun is staring down.

Dramon looks at his beast, and it circles us and spreads its wings to block us from view. Meanwhile, Treysa is sidestepping, as if troubled by my illness.

"Are you alright?" Dramon asks. He looks sure and steady. The male is a provider. Leading a clan wouldn't scare him, and neither would a baby.

I purse my lips, hating the taste of vomit. "Yes."

"I have brought water," I hear Jema call. She stays on the other side of the wings to respect our privacy.

Dramon looks at me for a second and then walks around to get the water. He brings it to me, and I quickly rinse my mouth.

"We should get going," I say. I don't want to make a huge deal out of this. I want to ride until I forget how messed up this situation is.

"We can rest."

"No," I interject. "Please."

He picks me up and helps me atop his beast. When he seats behind me, his hands take their usual spot, but they're more gentle. Something has shifted inside him. The scarred hands at my thighs want to protect me from the same violence that marred them.

It feels weird. I've never been feminine. I spit, sweat, and bleed as much as any man. Pregnancy seems to erase all that.

We ride at a more gentle place, and all I hear are murmurs and the stomps of beasts. This news will reach all corners of the planet soon.

I'm so deep in thought that I jolt when Dramon asks me hours later, "do you need to rest?"

His hand falls to my stomach to still me, and I feel nauseous all over again.

"No," I reply.

He looks up at the darkening clouds. "A storm is coming. We will camp soon."

We travel deeper south of the mountain. It's only when we find the strange tent-like flowers that we stop. The rain falls, but the murmurs are louder than the raindrops. The clan is gossiping, creating their own storm. I wish I knew what they were talking about.

"Winds, Queen," Jema greets me from outside our tent.

I step toward the entrance.

"Stay out of the rain," Dramon grumbles from the corner where he's dropping a crate.

It's going to take a while to get used to his newfound protectiveness

I hold open the flap for Jema. "You can call me Venus. Come in."

She nods, but I know that she won't listen. "I cannot go into a tent you share with our Rider King. It would be disrespectful. Here, I have brought a test."

"A test?"

"Yes. For your pregnancy." She holds out a seed. "Place this on your belly. It will bloom in minutes if you carry a child."

Dramon stops shifting behind us to listen. I reach out to accept the test. "Thank you."

"You are welcome. I will bring you food that will not upset your stomach." She smiles, lighting her kind, wrinkled, face, and then she walks back into the rain.

I stare at the seed. What happens if it doesn't bloom? If the test comes out negative?

"You can rest here," Dramon says.

I turn and find him standing by the bedroll. I fist the seed. Knowing that Dramon will be beside me during such an intimate experience makes me feel nervous. When I go to lie down, he kneels and watches me with undivided attention. He's so enormous. I feel as small as the seed in my hand.

I pull my top up to reveal my belly, and his eyes lock on my exposed skin. As Jema instructed, I place the seed over my womb, and then I wait. My eyes look anywhere but at Dramon, and my fingers fidget. As overwhelming as he is, I'm glad to see that he cares.

Only a few minutes pass before we hear pounding footsteps coming from outside. Dramon stands up and marches to the entrance while I watch from the bedroll. I don't see who is standing out there, but I hear their words.

"It's- it's S- Salina," a woman pants. "She is hysterical. She plans on killing herself! Please, you must do something!"

Dramon doesn't hesitate to run into the rain. I'm left on the bedroll, with a seed on my belly. When the results come in, I'm still alone. Dramon doesn't return that night, but he sends me a message with a woman.

He says he'll stay with Salina for the night since she wants no one but him, and that she can request whatever food or item I want or need.

I'm alone with my news as my husband comforts another woman. She's suicidal, and I get that she needs his help, but it still leaves a foul taste in my mouth that has nothing to do with my earlier vomiting.

Is she crying into his chest? Clinging to his arms? How worried does Dramon feel about her? Is he reminiscing about the days when she warmed his furs and cried from pleasure and not sadness?

I want to get up and find out, but I know that seeing me would only push Salina further off the edge. She lost a baby with my husband. I'm her replacement. As much as I dislike the woman, I don't want her dead or insane.

I sit and wait until Dramon comes back. He doesn't show up by the time I finish the soup Jema brought for me. He appears in the morning after sleeping beside her.

"I am sorry. She would not calm down until now. I have assigned her caretakers that will make sure she does now make another attempt against her life."

I'm unable to concentrate on his words. There's something clinging to his vest. It's a long, dark, hair strand. It's Salina's hair from when she rested her head on his shoulder and cried into his arms.

Her hair was down last night.