Chris: Last time on Total Drama Island... 22 campers arrived here at this dingy, run down disaster of a summer camp and learned they'd be spending the next eight weeks at Camp Wawanakwa. But right out of the gate they were presented with their first challenge, jumping off of a cliff into shark-infested waters. Many jumped but few were forced to the dreaded chicken hat. On the first campfire ceremony here in Total Drama History, it all came down to two campers. C.I.T. Courtney, despite all her training, refused to take the leap of jump. And her teammate, Ezekiel managed to tick off every single female camper on the show because of his sexist comments and view on life. In the end, however it was Zeke who earned the dubious distinction of being the 1st Total Drama competitor voted off, proving that once and for all that homeschooling and reality TV, don't really mix at all. Who will be the next to go in the most dramatic episode yet? Find out right now... on TOTAL. DRAMA. ISLAND!

[INTRO]

We start the episode with the campers all sleeping in their cabins before an air horn wailed, abruptly interrupting all the sweet dreams they had been having. LeShawna bumped her head on her top side bunk.

LeShawna: Ow! It's seven in the morning! Do I look like a farmer to you?

De'Von on the other hand was used to waking earlier than 7 A.M.. But that didn't mean he wasn't upset about it.

Von: Did we not eliminate Zeke already? Not cool, McLean...

An hour later most of the campers had finally woke up. Eva had been listening to her blend of heavy metal music on her iPhone (yeah I decided to make it a little more modern than what we got- like 2012-2013-ish let's say). Cody, wanting to get a piece of the music tried to touch the phone. Rule number one about Eva... Don't touch Eva's shiz. She tried literally and quite dastardly biting his hand off, ending with a growl letting everyone to well, touch her stuff and lose a limb. Chris appeared in front of them and unlike the teens, he was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, eager to torture them as far as the executives and producers would let him.

Chris: Morning, campers! Hope you slept well.

Heather: Hey, Chris; You look really buff in those shorts.

Chris: I know, but thank you for telling me anyway. Alright, I hope you're all ready because your next challenge begins in one minute.

Owen: Oh, excuse me. I happen to notice y'know... the lack of breakfast or time to eat it.

Chris: Oh, don't worry Owen, you'll get your breakfast. But not before you all complete a twenty kilometer run around the lake!

Eva took her earphones out to hear Chris's declaration and despite being the most jacked competitor, she was less than stoked to have to wake up for a leg killing 20K run. She cracked her knuckles and was ready to pound his face in before Courtney noticed her Machiavellian intentions.

Eva: Oh you're think funny now? Well you know what I think is really funny?!

Courtney (hushed): Eva! Control your temper.

Eva (looking at Chris, still peeved off): You're enjoying this... aren't you?

Chris: A little. You all have thirty seconds.

[STATIC]

Courtney (Confessional): Alright that Eva girl has seriously got to get a leash on her temper. She's only been here one day and in that day alone, she's strangled one of ex-teammates, almost amputated Cody with her jaw and nearly killed Chris. Not to mention she already tossed her suitcase out of the window and broken the lock off one of the bathroom doors.

[STATIC]

Every camper had been lined up at the campgrounds as Chris held up a prop gun.

Chris: Okay, campers... on your mark... get set and GO!

He shot the gun as they all took off.

Ten minutes later....

Owen pants.. birds screeching... more campers panting.

Harold: Do you know how much longer?

Bridgette and Duncan pant as they pass by their fellow Bass teammate.

Gwen: Don't walk beside me.

Heather (To Noah): Do you mind?

[STATIC]

Heather (Confessional): I don't run. And I definitely can't and won't run in high heel wedges.

[STATIC]

Owen: Can't... Catch... Breath. Must... Have.... Condition!

He collapses as Heather steps over the big guy.

Heather: It's called over-eating, Owen; Look into it.

LeShawna (Out of breath): And what's your excuse, you skinny... annoying... ooh I'm too tired for insults.

It was this moment that some of the athletically inclined competitors, namely Eva, Tyler, Trent, DeVon, Bridgette among others passed by them. Von stopped by the Gophers and teasingly chastised Heather.

Von: Damn Heather, how you letting your team down like this... come on show that killer instinct!

LeShawna: Boy, how are you not sweating like us?

Von: Gotta pick your spots and moments L-Train, that's the difference between passing out and being mildly exhausted like I am right now. Better go meet up with the teammates. Don't die us before we can knock y'all out. See you at finish line.

He left the majority of the Screaming Gophers in his wake as Heather growled.

Heather: I'm really starting to hate that little...

Owen: Shining Superstar?

Heather: No... Know-it-All Roid-Brain having twerp...

Von (From a distance): I can hear ya... Say that with your chest, Queenie!

Chris (Through the mega phone): Pick it up, people! If you're not back by dinner time, you don't eat at all!

Heather: Hmmm... I take it back, De'Von is more pleasant than him right now.

Soon after a majority of the campers had arrived at the mess hall and were awaiting for the rest to arrive. Knuckles were being cracked and the host kept himself by filing his nails and silence was finally killed when Owen, carrying an unconscious Noah burst through the door.

Owen: Clear a table, stat!

LeShawna: Thank the heavens, we made it!

Harold entered as he was immediately met with the scolding of Courtney.

Courtney: What took you so long? We just lost the freaking challenge!

Harold: I thinking I'm having heart palpitations!

Gwen: Hey wait a minute... If they lost, that means we won the challenge!

The Screaming Gophers began cheering but it might as well been in vain since Chris held up his hand.

Chris: Whoa, hold those cheers and your horses guys, that wasn't your challenge!

LeShawna: Say what now?

Chris: Who's ready... for some good eating?!

Glorious music was soon overheard as Chris pulled back a curtain revealing a gorgeous spread of buffet food and other delicacies. Tongues were out, mouths were drooling and eyeballs were rubbed to make sure this hadn't been a cruel joke played on the campers.

(Cue confessionals)

[STATIC]

Gwen (Confessional): After an entire week of brown sludge, I almost cried when I saw that buffet. And I don't cry often.

[STATIC]

Owen: And then I saw it, the buffet table. It was beautiful.. no divine! There was turkey, Nanamo bars, baked beans and maple syrup! Ha.... Can I have few moments to myself?

[STATIC]

The campers all groaned, bellies filled with satisfaction and good food. But the moment was ruined when Chris came through with a microphone.

Chris: Alright, campers! Time for Part Two of your challenge today.

Owen (as he burped): I thought eating was the second part, man.

Gwen: What more do you want from us?

Von: I'm with Gwen my dude, haven't you put us through enough torture today?

Heather (After she groaned): Meat-Head is right; What maniacal plan is it you've come up with today?

Chris: Heather, campers, I welcome you to.... the Awake-a-Thon!

Bridgette: The Awake-a-Thon?

Chris: Don't worry! Compared to the last challenge, this one essentially is a breeze. The team with the last camper standing wins invincibility!

Gwen: So what you're essentially saying is that the 20k run and the buffet frenzy were just distractions to make sure your evil plan of us staying awake came to fruition?!

Chris: Correct, Gwen!

Gwen: Oh, you're good.

Chris: Alright everyone to the campgrounds! Move, move, move!

Bridgette: So... how long do you think it'll take before everyone's out?

Von: Honestly? I'd give most if not all of them about an hour, give or take.

They walked side by side as Owen passed by groaning, probably more out of fatigue than pain.

Bridgette: Maybe less for the big guy.

Birds squawk and Heather yawned softly.

Chris: We're now twelve hours in and so far, no one has had a stand off with the proverbial Sandman.

Owen: Woohoo! Stay awake for twelve hours?! I can do that in my sleep! Wooohooo!

Unfortunately Owen would be the first to bite the sleeping dust as he hit the ground with a massive thud.

[STATIC]

Von (Confessional): Yeah I won't lie, the Awake-a-thon was probably the most savage and brutal thing I've participated in; And that tops jogging up and down ALL of the bleachers of AT&T Stadium and Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge combined.

[STATIC]

Gwen yawns as a ding was heard signifying the first loss for the Screaming Gophers.

Gwen: This is the most boring thing I've ever done in my short life.

Trent sidled beside the goth.

Trent: I mean, it could be worse.

Gwen: Worse? How it could be worse?

Trent: I could be stuck here without having to talk to someone like you.

Gwen turned her but silently blushed. Damn Trent, we see you, you sly talented dog, you.

[STATIC]

Heather (Confessional): So my strategy is to get two other campers to form an alliance with yours truly and take them to the final three. My only snag is that who could I find is either dumb, desperate, or a combination of both to do my bidding?

[STATIC]

Gwen looked at Lindsay who was doing... some questionable strategy to keep her consciousness in the game.

Gwen: Umm... what're you doing, Lindsay?

Lindsay: Trying to get the blood rushing to my head. Hmmm- I think its working...

Beth: Can I try that?

Lindsay: Sure!

Heather: Perfect! Lindsay, Beth, can we talk for a few minutes.

Beth: I guess...

Heather led the two out of earshot of their teammates and the other campers before she revealed her master plan.

Heather: Okay, so I have a plan to get myself and two other people into the finale as part of the final three, and I chose you two.

Lindsay: Really?

Heather: You should know that this alliance is a big time deal, and I'm placing my trust in both of you. And trust is a two-way street. So you'll do everything I say then? I scratch your backs and you two scratch mines. What do you say?

Lindsay: Sure! Yayyy! We're going to the final three!

[STATIC]

Beth (Confessional): OH MY GOSH! Heather is taking me to the final three! I'm going to the final three! I'm going to the final three! But I wonder what will happen then?

[STATIC]

Lindsay: Speaking of alliances, do you know who I think is really cute?

The camera pans to none other than the Killer Bass's Tyler who was talking to DJ as both guys were sitting on stumps. Heather took one good look at the headband wearing jock and figured out what was just transpiring between him and one of her minions.

Heather: Oh no. Absolutely not! You can't date him.

Lindsay: Why not?

Heather: Well for one, Tyler is essentially our sworn enemy... he's on the other team!

Lindsay: Uh-huh...?

Heather: So you can't inter-team date. It's like... against alliance rules.

Lindsay: There were rules?

Heather: Remember what I said about trust not even two minutes ago, Lindsay? Of course, you can opt to leave the alliance and I'll find someone else to take with Beth and I to the finale. But I can't guarantee your safety or prevent from getting kicked off the show once you leave this alliance.

Lindsay: No, I-I wanna be in the alliance!

Heather: Good. Then it's settled.

[STATIC]

Lindsay (Confessional): Heather said I couldn't date him. She never said I couldn't like him.

[STATIC]

Heavy metal music plays from Eva's headphones but she felt the urge to go use the bathroom.

Eva: I'm going to the restroom.

As she left, she didn't notice her iPhone didn't slip from her pocket but it was picked up by Heather who had been pretending to stretch.

Lindsay: Umm, isn't that Eva's iPhone?

Heather: Indeed it is, dear Lindsay.

Lindsay: Well, won't she get like, nuclear mad when she notices it's missing?

Heather: I'm counting on that happening.

We transition as we see a few campers starting to fade off and join Owen in the dreaded food coma. The first of them to go was Izzy of the Gophers and the Best Friends Katie and Sadie of the Bass respectively. Three dings were heard signifying the countdown of more victims being claimed by the sleep bug. The rest were holding strong including Courtney who had been jogging in place, DJ coming up with the unique plan of strapping himself to a tree. Tyler for some inexplicable reasoning got into it with a bear and screamed his lungs off which for better or worse kept him going in the game.

Chris: Congratulations, Campers! You all have passed the twenty-four hour mark. Time to kick things into overdrive with... Fairy tales!

Gwen: No way, he's got to be kidding!

He cleared his throat as a harp could be heard being strummed by Chef as Chris snickers.

Chef: Grrr...

Chris: "Once.... Upon a time... There was... inside this boring kingdom...."

Bridgette and Beth yawn at the same time.

Chris: "A boring village. And inside this boring, sleepy, village... Filled with very boring children.... that did incredibly... Boring things."

Harp music continued to play while sheep bleated. One sheep actually farted in the dreams of Cody when he woke up coughing to realize the sheep farting had actually been an unconscious Owen and that he had been SLEEPING on Owen's cheeks.

Cody: Huh? OH GODDDDD!

The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy plays and Chef dances in a ballerina costume... who knew dude could move like that?

[sparkle]

Some fairy dust get blasted into the air which promptly hit Bridgette, Duncan and Von in their faces, causing them to yawn. More dust was spread, this time hitting more campers this time, DJ included still wrapped up against the tree he had previously strapped himself to which came down crashing.

[Ding]

Gwen (tired): Timber!

[STATIC]

Courtney (Confessional): I figured that if kept moving, I could outlast all of them; teammates included. Just had to keep my healed eye on the ball.

[STATIC]

Katie and Sadie sigh... Courtney pants but she realized she was starting to run on empty... and Beth was out like a light.

Heather: We should talk strategy you two.

However her proposal fell on deaf ears as Lindsay snored but fell right on her backside and Beth was already fast asleep.

Heather: Beth?

[Double ding]

We now cut over to a barely conscious Von and Bridgette who were doing everything to keep awake but for both athletes, it was only a matter of time before they met the Sandman and some of their wildest dreams. They were just deep in conversation, trying to keep each other awake, something they picked up after seeing Gwen and Trent.

Von: Alright favorite sport or activity aside from surfing?

Bridgette pondered for a moment before answering.

Bridgette: Sport? I'll say either soccer or volleyball. Activity-wise, I'll say hanging with dolphins since they're actually my favorite animal. How about your... favorite movie?

Von: It'll always be a three way tie between the old-school Friday the 13th Movies, Space Jam or Twister... I always wanted to chase storms when I got older and that's still something I actually want to do. Favorite Show?

Bridgette: It might unreal to me but I actually love cartoons as much as I do nature documentaries. Especially ones like the Flintstones, Tom and Jerry and even Ed, Edd n Eddy.

Just then a gust a wind blew by them and Bridgette, despite having a hoodie on her still got chilled a bit. She scooched over next to Von, who though not on his own admittance, blushed redder than the Canadian flag. She realized what she did and thought she had made the big guy uncomfortable.

Bridgette: Oh I'm sorry! Did I make you uncomfortable?

Von: It did catch me off guard, I won't lie to you, but don't worry if you need to warm up I'm here.

Bridgette smiled and huddled once again next to him but before he could smile back at her, the most uncomfortable presence graced them in the form of Owen, butt naked and appearing to be Sleepwalking.

[STATIC]

Owen (Confessional): Did I mention that I may have devoured an entire dish of baked beans and maple syrup? Yeah the funny thing is with baked beans not only do they make me super gassy, they make me sleepwalk as well.

[STATIC]

Von (Confessional): Alright I'm not gonna cap, I'm actually feeling Bridgette. And who wouldn't? She pretty much has it all. Personality, looks, she's just got a radiance about her... Thing is I just get gun-shy or usually say something stupid that ruins my shot at a potential relationship. That and I don't even know if she feels the same way. I honestly need to stay focused on the money for real.

[STATIC]

Katie and Sadie snore in perfect synchrony.

Trent (With a yawn): How... cool. They even snore and fall asleep together.

He strummed his guitar and looked towards Gwen who was still holding strong.

Trent: You still awake?

Gwen: Yeah. It's weird, but I'm think I'm so tired, I'm tired anymore; Does that make any sense?

Trent: I have no answer for that. Where's the Little Dipper again?

Gwen showed him.

Gwen: Ok, so see the Big Dipper? Follow the handle to that bright star, the pole star. And it's right over there.

Trent: Nice.

Meanwhile cameras turn to the still sleepwalking Owen as he walked up the cliff. And he promptly fell off causing a big splash, not as big as the first one he caused during the first ever challenge. Back towards the campsite, Gwen and Trent were looking at the other competitors before seeing Justin, who had been standing in the same position for the past 12 hours.

Gwen: Look at him.... He's like a statue. He hasn't moved in over.. 50 HOURS?! Hello? Justin?

Trent: Yip! Yip! Yip Yip Yip Yip Yip!

Gwen: He's got amazing concentration, I'll give him that much.

Suddenly though she couldn't see it as she blinked, Justin blinked as well.

Eva: His eyelids... THEY'RE PAINTED, I SAW THAT!

Chris hears all the commotion.

Chris: No way, now this I have got to see! [Runs over to confirm if he had indeed blinked. Justin blinks again and flashes an innocent until proven guilty smile.] Dude, now that is awesome! However, you're still out. Sorry Justin.

[Bell dings]

We go to morning time where more campers had fallen asleep. Von and Bridgette had remained in the same place as before with the athlete's head now cradled in the surfer's lap, this now taking the Killer Bass's team count down 2 members. You could now add Courtney and Harold to this list as well as the CIT passed out after her legs burned out essentially. Harold who was essentially knocked out by morning time which in Duncan's mind meant take advantage of the situation and play a classic prank. He grabbed a small glass of water and put one of Harold's free hands in said bowl.

Duncan (Snickering): Aww, gross it works... dude peed his pants!

Harold finds out what happened by way of his teammate and he gasped, running off embarrassed as he sought a new change in underwear and pants. Meanwhile a sleeping Noah had been kissing on the ear of the already knocked out Cody and when they both woke up, they screamed in horror. Since he slept, Noah was knocked out of the contest.

Gwen (After yawning): Man I would kill for a coffee right now...

Just then as if on cue and her prayers were answered, Chris McLean came on screen with a coffee on screen as he sipped it, he was honestly shocked that a few campers were still hanging in tough.

Chris: What is the matter with you people? Come on, go night night already!

Gwen: You've gotta hook me up, Chris.... I'll even eat the grinds, anything!

Chris looked at the five remaining campers in the fight. Duncan and Eva from the Bass and remaining from the Gophers it was Heather, Gwen and Trent, the latter and former of the trio who were absolutely exhausted and barely hanging on. It was then Chris came up with a clutch plan.

Chris: All right, you five can stay with me, but the rest of you shower or at least put some cologne or fragrance on, 'cause you guys smell AWFUL! [sips his coffee] I didn't want it to come to this you guys. Truly, I said last night "Chef Hatchet, I don't want it to come to this. But dang it, these campers have some guts and an iron will in addition to a stomach at that. To that end, I've come up with the most dreadful, sleep-inducing activity I could drum up."

[STATIC]

Gwen (Confessional): Ok you know what? Bring it on! What could be worse than this?!

[STATIC]

Chris: "The History of Canada," a pop-up book. "Chapter One: The Beaver" National symbol and a "dam" fine hat."

All five campers groan.

Gwen: Stink.

[Beaver tail patting its home/barrier/Owen's behind]

Chris: "Which of course, was the precursor for the discussions..."

Heather falls down, thus the bell dings.

Chris: "...leading to the War of 1812"

Eva was the next to go. The bell dings once more.

Chris: "...of 1812."

Gwen noticed Trent wasn't looking too good, and he began bobbing back and forth on his stump before finally falling down.

Gwen: Trent! Noooo! Don't leave me!

The bell dings signifying he was now out of the running for invincibility. Chris took advantage of the latest elimination to check on Gwen and Duncan the final two left standing.

Chris: Alright you two, time for a bathroom break! Any takers?

Duncan looked at the Goth and smirked as he tried desperately to hold in his bowel movement.

Duncan: I've held it in this long sweetheart, I can do this all day!

Gwen: Yeah, but could you hold it for another ten or twelve chapters, pretty boy?

Duncan looked at her with a respectful gaze he knew damn well she just check-mated him as he got up from his stump.

Chris: You've got five minutes Duncan. Hope you don't mind the company.

Duncan: Whatever; Just stay out of the stall.

The cameraman nodded as the crew followed Duncan to the communal washroom, but stayed out to give him some privacy while he did his business. Soon, five minutes turned to twenty minutes, so naturally concerned that something happened, the crew checked on Duncan.

Crew Girl: Duncan! You okay in there?

The camera guy opened the door and the scene in front of them showed flies and an unconscious Duncan snoring, with his pants around his ankles. Cameras to the camp area where Chris was fiddling with his watch as a member of the camera crew handed him a piece of paper.

Chris: And we have breaking news! The final member of the Killer Bass in the Awake-a-Thon, Duncan has taken a dive on the can! Which means our official winner of the challenge are the Screaming Gophers and their last woman standing, Gwen!!

However the Goth Girl wasn't feeling like a winner as she completely collapsed from exhaustion and no sleep, hitting the ground with a thud. Chris just simply raised her hand in victory. A few hours later, when all seemed calm it was the exact opposite as belongings were being tossed out of the Girls side of the Killer Bass's cabin. The source? Eva who had been screaming like a banshee and frantically searching for her iPhone.

Eva: WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS MY PHONE?! ONE OF YOU MUST'VE STOLEN IT, I NEED MY MUSIC! NO ONE GOES ANYWHERE UNTIL I FIND AND GET MY PHONE BACK! THEN THE PERSON WHO STOLE IS GOING TO GET THE WORST BEATING OF THEIR LIVES!

Courtney: Okay, whoever took her phone needs to give it back right now before she destroys the whole camp.

It was then that a still horrible looking Heather showed up.

Heather: Hey, Killer Bass! Wow this place is a real mess.

Von: Someone stole Eva's iPhone.

Heather: You don't mean this do you? Oh yeah, I was wondering who it belonged to. I found it by the campfire pit... she must've dropped it.

Eva looked and saw her iPhone was in Heather's possession and ran out, grabbing with major ease.

Eva: Oh thank you! Thank you, THANK YOU!

Heather: Don't mention it.

She walked off, evil smirk on her face. Mission accomplished in Heather's world.

[STATIC]

Heather (Confessional): Turn a team against their own member; easiest and oldest trick in the book. Bye-bye Macho-Chick.

[STATIC]

Eva: So... Sorry about that little... Misunderstanding. I guess no one stole it after all. Okay; Maybe I overreacted a little.

She chuckled awkwardly but to her Bass teammates, they didn't take too kindly to being wrongly accused and being threatened with a possible beating for something they didn't even do. They either shook their heads disapprovingly, glared at her or a combination of both.

It was now nighttime at Wawanakwa with the Bass on the hot seat yet again for the second consecutive week in a row. Chris stood in front of them as he held the marshmallows in one hand and the results of this week vote in the other.

Chris: You've all casted your votes and made your decision on who gets the boot. In my right hand, I have only nine marshmallows on this plate, but in front of me, I see ten unfortunate souls. When I call your name, come up and claim your prize. The camper however, who doesn't receive a marshmallow must immediately return to the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, then leave. And you can never come back.... EVER! The first marshmallow goes to... Duncan.

Duncan smiles as he gets up first.

Chris: Bridgette, Courtney, Katie and Sadie.

The girls squeal.

Chris: Tyler... heh. De'Von and DJ. Harold and Eva, this is the final marshmallow of the evening...

[Dramatic music for 30 seconds]

Chris: Harold! Eva, The Dock of Shame awaits you, my jacked friend.

Eva: Nice... Real nice! Who needs this dumb TV show anyway?!

She stalks off set but not before kicking the host McLean hard in his left shin.

Chris: Oof! OWWW! You guys have a good sleep, no pun intended of course. You're all safe.

[STATIC]

Courtney (Confessional): See, I told you. You can't act like a total raging psychopath and then expect people least of all your teammates to forgive you after you accused for something they had nothing to do with. No matter how strong, tough or fast you may be. She'll never have a career if she doesn't get her act together.

[STATIC]

Heather (Confessional): So Eva was one of their strongest players. And now she's gone just like that, next up take out Duncan, De'Von and Courtney, and they'll essentially have no one deemed as a threat. I am SO running this game.

[STATIC]

Courtney: Buh-Bye, Eva!

Eva grunts and throws a wooden stick at them that barely missed Courtney.

Courtney: Touchy!

The Boat of Losers takes Eva away as she speaks to the camera reflecting about her short time on the show.

Eva: Yeah I'll admit it, my temper I guess got the better of me. Again. But it's done. Those igits just voted off their fiercest competitor, I hope they just now realized that!

[Camera cuts to Courtney and the remaining Bass, with each having a bottled water in their hands as she toasted.]

Courtney: To us, the Killer Bass! And to not hopefully ending up here again next week.

Bridgette and Duncan: Here here! Sure yeah!

Von: I'll drink to that. Let's rev it up for the next challenge, whatever it may be!

The rest of the Bass: Yeah!

The cameras finally cut to Owen as he continued sleeping on the Beavers lair he had involuntarily became apart of. Still feeling the effects of the baked beans, he ripped a good fart off, to the point where the fabled Sasquatchanakwa sniffed it and fell with a mighty thud. Knocked out for the night. As Owen farted... again.

END OF CHAPTER TWO.

ELIMINATION ORDER:

22ND: Ezekiel (Killer Bass)

21ST: Eva (Killer Bass)