I brought my headphones again. 

For obvious reasons.

This time I waited to put them on. I had arrived a bit earlier than I intended. 

And before you ask...

Yes. I took a Dramamine. 

I wasn't going without a bit of help. I was already sweating bullets and imagining every possible scenario where things could go disastrously wrong, I didn't need a sudden case of inexplicable and total meltdown. I wore a very similar outfit to the last concert except this time I chose a black fishnet top and placed a leather garter around my thigh. 

You'd think I'd learn to dress a little less conspicuous. But fuck it, I looked cute. 

The place was rather empty for a Friday night. The bar had plenty of open seats and the tables weren't crowded. I took a booth on the side close to the stage. I started wondering how bars worked. They weren't restaurants with waiters so....if I wanted a drink I'd have to request one before the show. 

And if I wanted a drink of water I could get one of those, and my eyes automatically scanned the place for the bathrooms. I also glanced around for any backstage entrance. The closest thing I saw was a big guy standing to the side of the stage. He looked serious. 

I got a little bored just sitting there all by myself. Even I get lonely sometimes. The booth had a small tray of napkins and I grabbed one along with a pen from my purse. I started writing. 

Nothing much. Just a limerick or two. 

About twenty minutes had passed and the pub was now half full. I didn't want to sabotage my own good time by worrying about the crowds. After all, the more the merrier. But I had rather enjoyed the open atmosphere. 

I was startled out of my wits by a man onstage wearing the widest collar I'd ever seen under the bluest suit I'd ever seen holding a microphone. There was a touch of feedback and he cleared his throat.

"Evenin', ladies and gents, it's good to see ya'. I know you've missed your favorite mates these past few months..." He coughed. "But they're back again for another show." The audience cheered. "I know. I know. An' they've missed us too which is why I'm honored to say...." More cheers. "I'm honored to say they're here, they're loud, and they're ready to play so give it up for...Acca Dacca."

And on went my headphones as the audience roar and Angus' guitar met for a kiss. And once again...there they were...

Right in front of me. 

I was closer to Malcolm's side of the stage this time and as he came out he kept his head bowed and his long hair covered his eyes. It obviously didn't hinder his playing any. Angus didn't have as much room to run around but he made the best of it. Cliff kept his focus on his playing and I could see Phil better from where I sat. And this time, Bon didn't even bother wearing a shirt. 

I was much more comfortable sitting down in the booth than I was standing at the venue. And the smaller audience made it feel more intimate, like a group of friends having a night out. 

The first song I remember was a new one. I can't recall the name but it had to have been on their work-in-progress studio album. Of course I would buy it as soon as it came out, are you nuts? My paycheck was itching to be spent on these men. 

My heart sped up when Angus jumped into the air and landed straight on his knees. Never once missing a note. He was already covered in sweat and when he stood up again his knees were bloody. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Malcolm looking in my direction but whether or not he actually saw me, let alone recognised me, was up for debate. But at the very notion my insides turned. 

Four songs in Angus handed his guitar over to someone offstage and he stood right in front of Phil's drums. With a little flourish he slipped his blazer off and tossed it aside, grinning madly as he undid his tie. I could see Cliff laughing and audience members whistled and cheered for their cheeky hero. The tie lay crumpled on the floor. Accepting back his guitar, this one being red instead of black, he started up the song again and Bon showed up out of nowhere. 

And then it happened.

I'll never forget it as long as I live. 

They started playing the song "Whole Lotta Rosie". Everyone was going nuts and I'm pretty sure Angus was foaming at the mouth. Right in the middle of the song he decided to leave the stage. He just stepped down the stairs and made his way towards the bar, demonstrating his playing up close. He weaved in and out of tables and a roadie followed him making sure the guitar cord didn't get tangled up. 

And when he stopped walking right when he got to my booth...

And this cheeky little man sat down...

Next to me...

Let me tell you....

My adrenaline ignited. 

I was really glad I brought my headphones otherwise my ears would have disintegrated. He kept his eyes either on his guitar or closed and the way he was sitting in the booth he was slightly turned away from me to make room for the guitar neck. I was so enchanted that I didn't even notice that everyone's eyes were in our direction. All of us admiring his playing. All of us here for one reason. To have a good time. No matter where any of us were from or where we lived. We all just wanted to have a bit of fun. 

I stared after him as he left for the stage again. My head was spinning, I felt light. I laughed. I don't know what came over me, I just started laughing and couldn't stop. Maybe it was because right after Angus walked up the stage stairs he stuck his tongue out at us. Maybe I was going insane.

The rest of the show was a trip.

**********

I held my backstage pass in my hand. If I were smart I would have gotten a lanyard like Shirley and stuffed it in there but I don't always think with the right end. So I held it tightly in my hand leaving a dent of my thumb. I happened upon a small group of guys by the serious man showing him their passes and being let by. So I shook off some nerves and stepped up. He let me through and I followed blindly to what I assumed was backstage. 

It smelled like even the cigarettes smoked cigarettes. 

There were crew members everywhere either drinking beer or a Coke, and plenty of fans talking to any and everyone. It was hot and just like the grocery market there were AC units scattered around. Some people had cameras and I edged away from them. I kept close to the walls and scurried my way through. Along with smoke it reeked of sweat and coffee. There were ashtrays on every available surface. While most people were standing a few had found places to sit on benches and chairs and one rotting sofa. I found one folding chair in the corner and took it, praying I hadn't just stolen someone's seat. 

I could feel myself getting sleepy. My eyes began to close by themselves and I was almost dizzy. But every few minutes someone would shout or laugh and I'd snap aware again. I flinched when I felt a hand pat my back. 

"Glad you could make it, Hannah, it's been a while, eh?" Bon walked past me with the brunette woman I'd seen before and poured himself some coffee into a white plastic cup. He drank all of it before pouring himself seconds then turned back to me. "It's a real animal in here, ain't it? Hope you enjoyed yourself. Here." He handed me his cup. "Hold this while I have a piss." And with that he was gone leaving me with the woman. She noticed me and held out her hand. 

"I'm Sandra."

"Hannah." I wasn't sure she heard me. 

"Bon's my date for the evening. I've known him a couple years now and he asked me to come to the show with him. Weren't they just tip top?" I smiled and nodded. A minute more and Bon returned eating an orange. 

Some bathrooms.

He exchanged a few words with Sandra quietly and he fed her an orange slice. I wanted to smile because it was cute but the smell of the orange made me grimace. Although...I guess it wouldn't have the same cute effect if Bon had been eating a banana, would it? 

He turned to me and held out his hand for his coffee. "Thanks, mate." He drank it again and looked around. "The rest of us ought to be around here somewhere. If they don't show up an' say hello I'll box 'em for ya'." 

Right at that moment Cliff walked up. Boy, was he a stud. His hair was even longer than Malcolm's and he had gentle eyes. Safe from Bon's boxing he gave me a wave and walked off to grab something to eat. I suddenly felt a bit hungry myself. I hadn't eaten much that day as I felt so sick with anticipation but now that my medicine kicked in I was starving. From what I could see of the snack table there were pretzels and ham sandwiches, two Esky's full of beer and one with water and one with Coke, and a massive bucket of apples. 

So don't ask me where Bon got the orange from.

Not eager to leave my chair I waited for a bit but when my stomach spoke whale I got up. Pretzels would be the best option for my sensitive stomach and I grabbed a napkin with them. As I suspected, my chair had been claimed by someone else. 

Parting has such sweet sorrow... 

Someone spoke behind me. 

"So you're the one Bon wanted me to meet?"

I turned around. 

And there was Angus in a t shirt and jeans and a towel around his neck. 

And I had a pretzel in my mouth. 

I chewed as fast as I could so I could answer. But how do you answer a question like that? Luckily Angus did it for me. "I'm Angus."

"H-Hannah."

"Bon mentioned somethin' about a Hannah to me a couple days ago. Said she were a bit quiet?" I lowered my head and nodded. "Eh. That's alright. Sometimes there jus' ain't much to say, ya' know?"

I nodded again. He was drinking from a can of Coke and held a cigarette in the other hand. My mouth felt very dry and I was getting sleepy again. Setting his Coke down on the table he pulled something out of his shirt pocket and tipped the contents into his hand. "Want 'em?"

They were Smarties. A little on the warm side but chocolate is chocolate. I held my hand out and he gently placed them in my palm. I hoped they wouldn't melt on my heated skin. He ate a few himself and put the box back in his pocket. 

I giggled like an absolute lunatic. 

On the inside of course. 

"Now what was that thing you were wearin' during the show? Those headphones?" He remembered.

Course it wasn't hard to remember those bastards.

"Um. Those are noise cancelling headphones." I took them out of my purse. "I wear them at concerts to protect my hearing." 

Angus looked them over. "That's not a bad idea. Especially at our shows, we tend to shatter a few windows here an' there." He smiled. He has a lovely smile. "I hope me playin' right next to you didn't hurt any." 

"No," I said. I beamed at the memory. Wait until my parents hear about this.

"Good. So, you have fun then?" He finished off the last of his Coke while I only nodded. "Good," he repeated. 

Angus seemed like a quiet man too. I could appreciate that. He took a very long drag off his cigarette and blew the smoke out away from me. He looked up at me. "So where are you goin' after this?"

I felt sort of sick. My shoulders began to ache. The motel I picked was a block away but I couldn't remember the name. "Uh...I found a room for the night. I'm going back home tomorrow morning."

He nodded. "You live far from here?"

"No, it's not far." Angus turned away from me to look at the scene in front of us. Some time Phil had shown up and was talking to a group of young men and Cliff had a whole meal spread out in front of him on a table. I couldn't find Bon and Malcolm never did make an appearance. Sandra was speaking to another young lady and both were laughing and smiling. One man in a corner was standing on a chair fixing a light fixture with a broken bulb. There was so much buzzing activity I wondered why Angus had chosen to be polite and talk to the human statue. Taking one last puff of his cigarette he put it out on a nearby ashtray and pulled a small carton out of his back pocket with a lighter. 

"Come on," he said motioning his head toward a door. I slowly followed him past the crowd and he pushed the door open and held it there for me. It was warm outside again and the noise of people was replaced with cars and sirens. Angus stopped to smoke for a second then kept walking. I followed unsure of his plan. "Bit stuffy in there an' I'm starvin'. You like diner food?"

There was a cute diner in Sydney that sold the best ice cream. As we walked down the street I could see the exact same place come into view over a group of bushes. It was white with a red trim and a flashing neon sign. You couldn't get any more terrific and the food was even better. I felt my spirits pick up a bit and the pain in my shoulders alleviated. Inside the air conditioning worked and it was sort of cold. Goosebumps appeared on my legs again. Angus took a seat at the counter and gestured for me to sit beside him. I did and I was nervous as hell. 

After ordering milk and a huge basket of hot chips he told me the band was using a station wagon as transport and the other guys would probably head back to the hotel without him. "The roadies can handle the gear an' all that an' the guys will be fine. I can take a bus, ya' know?" 

I racked my brain thinking of anything I could ask him. I had so many questions about the music industry and how records are made and all that but Angus seemed like he wanted a break from that topic. I knew he loved his job more than anything but he didn't seem too keen on talking all night explaining everything to a clueless groupie. 

Not that I was a groupie or anything.

Or was I?

The chips were amazing and the milk was rich. Angus asked me a few questions about where I worked and how I enjoyed it. I told him....

"It's fine."

"Sounds tiring to me."

"It is, yeah." Come on, you got to give him more than that!

The thing is, Angus didn't seem to care that I didn't say much. He didn't press me for more information and he never once made a comment about it. I felt at ease around him and whatever nerves that were bothering me finally fucked off. He made me laugh a few times and I even made him laugh! Can you believe it?? 

"Do you smoke?" he asked pulling out another cigarette. He had taken a break to eat and now started up again. I shook my head. He took one out of the carton and lighted it. With his attention focused elsewhere I got a look at him. He was rather a cute man. His teeth reminded me a little of my own years ago and his hair was short and in the process of growing. His lashes were kind of long. 

I looked away shyly. He didn't seem to notice. 

The clock said it was past eleven and my Dramamine was finally beginning to wear off. I wasn't as sleepy anymore but my body felt heavy just the same. Angus looked at his own watch. "That late already? Didn't mean to keep ya', hun."

"You didn't keep me," I protested. "I'm sure you're tired too?"

"Nah," he said standing from the counter. "When I play a show I don't get tired till dawn. Then I sleep till evenin'. It's a nice way, I think. Can I walk you back?"

I grabbed my purse and stood up. "Sure." We left the diner with money on the counter and started off in a random direction. 

"What did ya' say the place was again?"

"I don't remember. It's only a block away from the pub, I know that."

"Ah, we'll find it. An' if we don't, you can stay with me." He gave me a friendly elbow and I elbowed him back. 

We never did find the motel I meant to stay in but we found a different one a little farther from my house than I had planned. But it was nearing midnight and I was so tired by now that I just wanted a bed and running water. Angus stood by the door while I checked in at the front desk. He occupied himself with playing with a tin can of pens and tried balancing one on his nose. I couldn't help but think what this looked like. A questionably dressed young woman grabbing a motel room while sharing company with a famous musician. But the concierge didn't seem to recognise him and he had country music playing on his radio so perhaps he had no idea. And I shouldn't have cared anyway but I did. 

I found my room on the second floor. Angus walked me up the stairs and waited for me to get my door open with the key. "Got everything?" he asked. 

"I think so."

"Will I see you again?"

My heart just about stopped. What did he say? I imagined it, surely.

"I...." Truth was I had no clue. I managed to find Bon several times recently but those had been coincidences and these men were very busy. Maybe if I went out a little more we'd run into each other. "I don't know," I answered. 

"Well." He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked at my room number hanging on the building. "If you come to another show or somethin'." He shrugged. "I don't know how tight security will be but if you manage to get backstage or somethin'....maybe we'll meet again."

I was shaking in my boots. "Yeah. Maybe I will." He smiled and I beamed. With one last handshake he left me to myself and I closed the door after him. I just stared at the door. 

Did....did I just get asked out?

Not formally, but in a roundabout way. He hinted and hinting is more than nothing. I didn't want to read too much into it, I was only setting myself up for disappointment. Angus didn't seem like the kind of guy, but for all I knew he had maidens stashed in every country he visited. 

I was giddy nonetheless. 

Until I turned around. 

Stained carpet, cobwebs, a bed with three legs, a lamp without a bulb, and an unplugged telephone. 

I didn't even want to see the bathroom.