Americans remember the Fourth of July because that's the day independence was approved for the original thirteen colonies. 

I remember that day because my father humiliated me in front of my family and called me a big baby when I cried.

The axe forgets but the tree remembers. 

I know it's wrong to hold grudges. Forgive and forget, right?

I just wish the memory didn't hurt so bad. 

"Ya' doin' okay?" Angus asked me while he fixed his tie. We were backstage before the show, just as Angus promised. It was much quieter back here and I didn't even need to use my headphones. 

At least, not yet. 

I looked up to see him looking at me. He seemed...genuinely concerned. I mustered my best smile. "I'm fine."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah," I nodded. He didn't seem convinced. I sat up as straight as I could even though it hurt. I maintained eye contact with anyone who looked at me no matter how painful. And I refused to let anyone see me cry.

No matter what.

Phil was finishing up taping his fingers and Cliff was already armed with his bass. Bon and Malcolm were talking to someone who had been setting up equipment for over an hour. Angus talked with him too and a few various fans before making his way over to me. He stood in front of me fixing the cuffs on his sleeves. I looked at him quickly before looking at my lap.

I was still very shy. 

He knelt down to meet my gaze and flashed me his teeth. I laughed a little and that seemed to appease his worry. "Doin' anything tonight?" he asked quietly. 

My stomach twisted itself into a knot and my hands felt clammy. 

"N-no, I'm not," I answered. 

He looked around the room for a minute and folded his hands together. "Well....the boys are all off doin' other things tonight, Mal bought himself some fireworks an' he an' Phil are goin' somewhere to light 'em off...the spirit of the holiday, ya' know. Cliff...dunno an' Bon is off bein' Bon, so...that leaves you and I unless you wanted to chat with the other ladies?"

I considered hanging out with all the women. I didn't think they'd miss my company if I bailed just this once. 

"No, I think I'll pass tonight," I said. Angus rubbed his hands together and took a deep breath. 

"Well. Then....did you wanna have dinner in our room? There's room service or....we can jus' make whatever we find in the drawers or somethin'. Maybe a live rat."

I smiled and looked down at my shoes. How could I say no to such a romantic gesture?

Rat and all?

"Sure," I said. He smiled too and looked down at his shoes. 

"Alright, time to go, get your stuff an' get on," a man shouted alerting the band to get to work. He was big and tall and very serious looking. 

Except for his comb over. 

"Alright, I'll see you after the show, yeah?" Angus stood up to leave, but not before kissing me on the cheek.

I felt lightheaded. I needed to sit down.

....I was already sitting down.

I looked around the room to see if anyone noticed how flustered I was when I saw Cathy and Linda both looking at me with cheeky little smiles on their cheeky little faces. Beth was fixing an earring of hers that had broken but surely she knew the shit.

I sat up a little straighter and turned away from them.

Then giggled like a loony. 

**********

The boys came back sweatier than ever. The July heat was ungodly. After an hour of showering and changing clothes they looked a lot more comfortable.

They smelled a lot better too.

Some more fans had come to say hello and check out the equipment. There were quite a few practising musicians who wanted some tips and to get a feel of the atmosphere. Most of them crowded around Malcolm. He was a legend in their eyes. 

A couple roadies cleaned up any rubbish laying around. Wrappers, beer cans, napkins, the works. I figured I'd pull my weight around here and help them. I found six beer cans, a couple flyers, a banana peel, one left shoe, several chewed up wads of bubblegum, a broken pencil, and various snack food crumbs. 

I carried what I was willing to touch with my bare hands to the rubbish bin. Angus was sitting on a bench next to a very pretty woman with long red hair. I didn't want to intrude so I turned to a different spot backstage to clean up some more but there wasn't much over there. Someone laughed very loud and I noticed it was the woman. 

She seemed to really like Angus. 

Angus sat with his legs crossed smoking a cigarette. Anything he'd say and the woman would burst out laughing. I guess I couldn't blame her, Angus is pretty funny. 

Have they always been sitting that close?

I looked away. I had no business staring at them during their private conversation. 

Or when she put her hand on his shoulder and didn't move it...

She had bright white teeth and red lipstick. She really was very pretty. I mean, I was pretty cute in a...'I look younger than I really am' way. But I was no Miss Universe over there. 

I wanted to punch my insecurities in the fucking face. 

I'm fine just the way I am. 

So there.

I sneaked a quick peek at them again and this time Angus was staring right back at me. 

Grinning.

He quickly turned his attention back to the woman who was asking him about the touring life and where they were staying. He answered accordingly and grinned smugly. Once in a while he'd turn back to me and wink or make a face.

Typical Angus, making all the ladies laugh. 

I saw him reach to scratch his shoulder from behind and he flicked his fingers. Having no clue what that meant I stayed put. Angus returned to his previous position and made the woman laugh again. Once he pointed out an amplifier that was sitting out and she turned around to see it. At that moment he waved at me to come over before the woman could see him. I slowly walked over keeping my head down. 

"Hey, Hannah, good to see ya'." Angus stood up from the bench and wrapped an arm around me. I suddenly felt hot and flushed and my heart started racing. The woman looked at me and smiled politely. 

"Hello."

"This is Robin, from North Carolina," Angus said. "She's a music journalist." 

Oh yeah? Then where was her pen and papers? An ID maybe?

Robin suddenly stood up looking a little disappointed. I felt kind of bad. Imagine being in her shoes. 

Geez, what were those, nine inch platforms? Lucky.

"It was nice meeting you...both of you," Robin said. "I should get back, I have a friend waiting for me at our motel." She started to back away. I suddenly wanted to go somewhere else and leave them to talk. 

"Nah, you can stay a bit longer, we don't have to leave for a while an' the hotel certainly won't complain," Angus said. Robin took one more glance at me. 

"I really have to go." She grabbed her jacket with tassels off the bench and waved goodbye. Then she was gone. 

I felt sick.

"Why did you call me over?" I asked Angus. "She hates me now."

"Honestly, hun, I really didn't know she'd leave like that," Angus said sounding kind of guilty. "We'd been talkin' for a while an' she flirts like crazy, ya' know." He sort of grinned at me. "Well, I didn't want to be rude an' tell her I made plans somewhere else so...I jus' let her know I already had someone in mind, ya' know?" He shrugged and looked at his shoes. "I thought maybe she'd lose the idea of shackin' up with me, not get up an' leave."

I flushed again. 

Angus noticed.

"What, feelin' a little jealous?" he asked with a smile.

"No," I pouted. He tickled my shoulder.

"Sure you're not." I reached my hand up to take the hand that was draped over my shoulder. I really shouldn't have been so...cuddly with him. I should have been smart to keep him at arm's length and settle for a friendship. That was what I wanted more than anything.

So what if I had a little crush?

"So...do you think we'll get a good review in the papers?" Angus asked. I sort of smiled to myself and Angus looked at me. "What?"

"Music journalist my foot," I muttered. Angus giggled. 

**********

After everyone went their separate ways Angus and I went back to our hotel room. Both of us were tired already and decided to spend the night in. He flicked the telly on and scanned the channels for a film playing or something. Nothing interested either of us except a cartoon, so we settled on that. We ordered pizza over the phone and Angus went down to the lobby to get it. 

There's nothing quite like pepperoni pizza. 

Angus cracked open a bottle of Coke and chugged. I myself had a small glass of ice water. There was a burning cigarette in an ashtray on the coffee table. "Another round of Loony Tunes, sweetheart?"

"Yes, please," I answered taking a huge bite. I had taken a Dramamine that afternoon to get myself ready for the show and they have a tendency to give me the munchies. Actually, I took a Dramamine and a Benadryl. Just one of each. I'd been taking Dramamine so often lately that my body sort of...adjusted.

Anyway, I was starving. 

Together we ate about half of it and put the other half in the fridge. After giving my teeth a good floss I sat back down on the couch next to Angus. Every few minutes I could feel him looking at me. 

Did I have sauce on my face?

Was my nose so huge he just stared in disbelief?

I looked at him for a quick second. 

He didn't look away. 

He just....stared at me...until he closed one eye and stuck out his tongue. I grinned, trying to act like I wasn't impressed with his antics. He knew better. Picking up his cigarette he had a few puffs before setting it back down. "Sorry, did you want one?" he asked knowing good and well my answer. 

"No, I don't smoke."

"I do," he said crossing his arms over his chest.

You don't say. I smirked.

I hadn't realised how late we stayed up until the opposite of a cartoon came on the telly. Some late night talk show which was definitely not my tempo. Angus switched it off and went over to the radio. "Ya' mind if I turn this on? Could use a bit of inspiration."

I didn't mind at all. He turned the knob around a little until an opera came on. He looked at me and shrugged.

"I'm not picky."

But he continued turning the knob. Punk rock, another talk show, Fleetwood Mac, Lynyrd Skynyrd, a church revival, Black Sabbath, and finally blues. He took a seat at the table with his cigarette and just listened for a bit, closing his eyes. I'd never seen this side of him. Just so....calm and focused on the music. The only time he ever came close to this was when he would play side by side with Malcolm backstage. 

When the song ended he came out of his trance and turned the volume down. "What kind of music are you into?" he asked from the table. 

What was I supposed to say to that? I said the first thing that popped into my head.

"Bagpipes."

He blinked a few times. "Huh. That's easy to remember. Ask Bon to play ya' somethin' sometime, but he only knows one song so don't request anythin'." He grabbed a napkin from the counter and looked around the room. "Got a pen or somethin' on ya'?"

There was one on a small table by the door and I handed it to him.

"Go on, have a seat."

I sat next to him and he started to draw. The pen would catch a bit on the napkin but he did the best he could. When he was done he showed it to me and sat up a bit straighter.

"How's that?"

"It's good," I answered. It was a picture of a frog in a pond wearing a budgie smuggler. "Is that you?"

"Huh?" He inspected the drawing. "Naw, that's...that's...that's Phil. Yeah, that's Phil." I smiled. "See, that's his snarl." He grabbed another napkin and handed it to me. "Here, you draw somethin'."

I learned I have no artistic ability whatsoever years ago. But since it was only Angus and he insisted...I took the pen. 

Angus squinted when I showed it to him. "Uh....that's a really nice..." He took his sweet arse time thinking. "A nice....dragon?"

"It's a caterpillar!" I said setting the napkin down. Angus pretended to see it. 

"Oh! Yeah, yeah, fire breathin' caterpillar." I burst out laughing and threw the napkin at him. "What, he's cute! I like his little bow tie."

"That's his nose," I said. Angus and I had a small staring contest before breaking out into laughter. I was afraid we were going to disturb the neighbours but nobody ever knocked on the door or banged on the wall. After we quieted down an ad break came on the radio station and Angus switched the channel. 

"Hey, you like The Who?"

"I love them."

As a matter of fact, one of my prized possessions was my Who's Next album, "Baba O' Riley" being one of the greatest songs in existence. The song playing was also pretty good, "A Quick One, While He's Away". 

Step aside, Rolling Stones. 

I felt a sudden urge to dance. And since I wasn't surrounded by people, and the drugs were wearing off....

I did.

Angus sat back watching in amusement as I danced around the room. Nothing crazy, just a silly little jig. Seeing him sitting there I got an idea. I grabbed him by the hands and pulled him up to dance with me. I'm not so sure he was too eager to dance but he didn't mind as much when the song slowed down. We danced together hand in hand getting the hang of it eventually. Sometimes we'd mess up and fall out of rhythm but we'd only laugh it off. Once I tripped over a chair and stumbled forward, Angus catching me. 

"Alright there, Swift?"

"Speak for yourself, Footloose."

**********

Fireworks were going off outside. I had changed into my flannel shirt and trakkies but the heat was killing me so I ditched the trakkies. The radio played America's National Anthem before shutting off. Angus sat on the couch doodling on some paper he had pulled out of his suitcase while I painted my fingernails red.

I paint my nails when I'm bored. 

I waved my hands around to dry and Angus showed me his drawing. "Good?" he asked.

"It's good," I smiled. It was a simple drawing of a bird wearing a police officer's hat holding a stop sign. Instead of blowing a whistle it was just tweeting the way birds do. 

Angus really is a good artist. 

He handed me the papers and pencil. "Alright, your turn."

My nails were still a little wet...but it's not like I couldn't fix them if I messed them up. I carefully held the pencil and....

What should I draw?

A dog? A cactus? A toadstool? 

I looked over at Angus smoking his third cigarette. 

Sure. Why not.

Since actually attempting to draw him would classify as a federal crime and insult, I settled for a stick figure instead. 

And I drew myself one as well. 

We were standing on a hill under a sky full of stars and fireworks. The moon was wearing a long nightcap and snoring. I gave Angus a devil's tail and had to erase it a few times to keep it from looking like something else. He caught me laughing a few times but didn't say anything. Then I drew myself in a bra and skirt just like I wore at a concert so long ago. The bra was way too big (not a far cry from reality), and the skirt looked more like a cardboard box but it sufficed. 

It was a stupid drawing with silly little stick figures.

And I loved it.

"Finished?" Angus asked. I nodded my head and he sat up to see it. First thing he did was chuckle. "Is that us?"

"Yeah, that's us on the Fourth of July." 

"Huh. Looks jus' like us. Well, you look a lot better in person but that looks like me," he laughed. "Nice moon."

"You too," I said. 

It took him a second to laugh again.

"When did ya' get so dirty?" he asked. "Who've you been hangin' around?"

"Bon when you're not looking." I inspected my drawing for any improvements to be made when I felt myself being watched. I turned my head and there was Angus staring at me. 

Had we always been sitting that close?

I stared back at him, his eyes very bright and expressive. I fluttered my lashes a little. He seemed to be searching for something.

Then....I don't know what happened.

Next thing I knew he had kissed me. Just a swift kiss on my lips and we were back to where we were. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't sure I should say anything. Angus wasn't saying anything either. What the hell do you do after that?

We kissed again.

So much for staying friends.