This chapter Is a filler but it does play a huge role in this book.

But idk why the media fucking up, hopefully yall can see the ring now
SHOW LOVE. YALL SLACKING.

I'm fucking with the plug daughter.
I'm tied in with Diego, they treat me like family. And if I ever leave her they gon' kill my family. - Kevin Gates.

HOLLAND

I'm at Emory's house finishing up some homework. He's just across the room watching me. "What? You throwing me off." I say. He shakes his head. "I be busting hella nuts inside of you, Holland. Why you ain't showing me a positive pregnancy test by now?" he asks.

I tense up then drop my pen. "Huh?" I ask. I quickly wipe the tears out of my eyes. "You aborted my baby?" he lowly growls. I look away from him. I can't deal with this.

He jumps up and towers over me, then grips my wrist. "I said did you abort my fucking baby, Holland?" he screams at me. I push him off. "No, I didn't! Stop!" I scream.

He turns around then punches the wall. "Quit! Emory, I can't have kids, okay? Now you know! Sorry for getting your hopes up but I will never be able to! It'll take a miracle for me to ever get pregnant! That's why I'm gay, Emory! Because no nigga wants somebody he can't even bring his own kids in the world with! Now you know!" I scream back at him, wiping my face.

I never did tell anybody other than my daddy the entire reason for me switching to women until now. I told my dad while he was in jail. I'm scared a guy will cheat on me simply because of that. My dad told me that if he can't accept me for who I am and look past my flaws, he ain't the one. But it's hard to live by that because I'm so ashamed and insecure about it.

Emory stares at me for a second with an unreadable look on his face. He shakes his head. "You should've fuckin' told me, dumb ass." he snaps, shaking his head and walking out the room. I ball up in his bed and break down crying. I didn't tell him because I knew he'd react that way. It's not like I asked to be this way. It's not fair.

"Get up." he says, shaking me. I sit up then stretch. I cried myself to sleep. He sits next to me in the bed then wipes the tears in my eyes away. "I'm sorry for what I said, I was just mad. Ion wanna have kids by nobody but you. It's aight, if me and you ever become more than friends, we can think about adopting when you ready." he says, smiling. I lightly smile, then wipe my face.

I grab him by his chain then pull his body down on top of mine. He kisses my neck. "Why can't you have babies? Talk to me." he softly says, then kisses my neck again.

Tears start flowing down my face all over again.  "You can't tell anybody. Especially not Heaven or my family period." I say. He nods his head. "Heaven's ex boyfriend Damion is fertile as hell. Well, a couple of years ago, we saw each other. Some type of way we fucked raw and he didn't pull out. I didn't get pregnant. When I was a kid, I was råped by one of the guys my dad works with. He råped me a lot of times and I was never pregnant. Same thing with four guys who gang råped me when I was fifteen. They never used  condoms and  never pulled out. Plus, when I was like, twelve or thirteen, I lost my virginity to this guy named Dorian before all of that other stuff. He didn't pull out and he didn't use a condom. I never got pregnant. When I got older, I wondered why I never ended up pregnant. I got Almond to sneak and take me to a gynecologist when I was around sixteen or seventeen cause I didn't want anybody to know anything. So, I went when I was in a lot of pain. I have Endometriosis. My chances of ever getting pregnant are slim to none." I confess.

He gets off me with a shocked look on his face. I know that's a lot to take in. I was being råped, I fųcked my sister's ex on accident, and I can't even get pregnant. I won't be surprised if he just cuts me off.

"You been tested for aids, Holland?" he nervously asks. I fan him away. "I don't have fucking aids! See, this why I didn't wanna tell you!" I scream. "Holland, you been with plenty niggas and I go raw, have you been checked?" he yells at me. I slap the shit out of him. "I ain't been with plenty niggas by choice, I was råped, fucking idiot! It was taken from me! Do you not know what the word means? Fuck you! Yes, I've been tested! Hell no, I don't have shit! Fuck you!" I scream at him.

He chases me out the house. "I wasn't saying it like that, Holland, come on!" he yells, grabbing my arms. I spin around and start punching him. "Just let me go!" I scream at him. He pulls me in his arms. I stop fighting back and break down crying in his chest. He rests his chin on top of my head. "I'm sorry, Holland." he says. "I didn't ask for that shit, Emory. I'm sorry, but I didn't." I say. He rubs my back. "It's cool, Holland. We gone work through this bullshit. I love you and I wanna be with you. I don't care about none of that shit. I'll help you work through it, forreal. Just let me." he says.

I look at him. "You wanna be with me? Like... more than my friend?" I ask. He nods his head. I smile then kiss his lips. "You better not ever hurt me." I say. "I won't. Yo daddy and brothers too crazy. Real talk, ion want no problems with them folks." he says.

Both of us laugh. It is true, my dad shut shit down with Damion after what he did to Heaven. He does not play about his kids, especially his daughters.

"Just stay loyal." I say. He kisses my neck. "I will. I got you no matter what, Holland." he says. "No matter what." I say, chuckling.

"We made a bond from the very beginning, I found my homie and my bestfriend. Imma be there for ya to the very end no matter what, no matter what, no matter what, yeah." both of us start singing. We fall out laughing. "We so fucking lame." he says. "I swear." I say.

I really hope Emory meant what he said because I'm not trying to get hurt again. I actually trust him and I hope everything's different this time.

COMMENT 25
VOTE

SHOW LOVE YALL

HOW YALL FEEL ABT HOLLANDS SECRET?

HOW YALL FEEL ABT THOSE 2?

THIS FILLER CHAPTER WAS VERY IMPORTANT 2 THE STORY LINE, BTW

Just stay loyal.

I got your back no matter what, aight? We