For some odd reason wattpad's media ain't working right so hopefully yall can see Becky.

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Death gotta be easy cause life is hard
It'll leave you physically, mentally, and emotionally scarred
- 50 Cent

HEAVEN

"Heaven, I'm about to have company." Holland says, walking into my room. Both of us live together.  I'm twenty two and she's twenty now.  "Who?" I ask. "Her name is Mya." she says, grinning. I chuckle.  "You gone catch something." I joke. My sister is almost like a brother in a way. She has more girls than any boy I know.

"No I'm not. I need head, man." she says, scratching the back of her neck. "You're a sex addict." I say. She sighs.  "I miss Jaylen." she blurts out. "Call him then. I can't believe yall still mad at each other over that Pleasure girl. That's almost four years old. It needs to stop." I say. "That's him. He says hey to me when we see each other but that's about it." she says.  I nod my head. "I saw Damion." she slowly says.

"So? Fuck him! After everything he put me through, he lucky daddy didn't kill him." I say. She shrugs. "He had to get his pinky cut off and he has nasty ass scars cause of daddy." she says, scrunching her nose up.

I shrug my shoulders.  "He made me miscarry, Holland. Quit acting like I didn't lose my baby." I say.

"Sorry. Ay, my girl here." she awkwardly says, then walks out.

I need to get out of here. I don't want to hear Holland's lesbian activities tonight. That shit is annoying.

I grab the keys to my Audi and my phone, then put my shoes on. I guess I'll go visit my brothers and sisters.  Hopefully they're not sleeping.

I walk out my room. Holland grins at me. She got her hoe on her lap grinding.  "I don't know why she grinding in your lap like you got a dıck." I mumble.  I don't get it.

Holland flips me off. I chuckle then walk out the front door.

I just got to the family home. Jaylen is sitting in the living room with Legend sleep next to him. "Hey." I whisper, then hug him. "Wassup, Heaven?" he asks. "You anti, mane. You don't ever call a nigga back." he says. "I'm sorry, lil bro. I'll call tomorrow." I say. He smiles wide then nods his head. On the outside, Jaylen is hard but on the inside, he's a big ass baby with a cold heart sometimes.

I walk to Reshawd's room. I open the door then gasp. I never saw this coming. He in his bed with Mia's little sister about to go down on her. "Late night munchies." I sing.

He jumps up looking embarrassed.  "Heaven, stop!" he screams at me. He look like he about to cry. "Condoms, kids. Use them. But for real, I'm sorry, I thought yall couldn't stand each other. What's this about?" I ask, plopping down on his bed.

"Heaven, stop! You stupid ass girl, I'm naked and she is too!" he yells. I shrug my shoulders.  Eric comes in and shakes his head as if he knows something I don't know. Him and Reshawd are making awkward eye contact.

"Get dressed and come take a ride with me, Reshawd." Eric says, then snatches me out, fussing at me for being a cock blocker. I don't really care, my brother's barely fifteen and has been through way too much. I'll do anything to make sure he don't mess around and become a father so early.

"Heaven, you can't embarrass him like that. You're fucking with his manhood." Eric fusses.  "You wanna see him become a dad when he can barely figure himself out?" I ask. "No, but that wasn't the way to do it. He's probably gonna cry." Eric says. "Pshh... Reshawd's definition of crying is shooting and we both know that." I say. That boy is way too young to be so trigger happy. He thinks we don't know he kills just about every single day. 

"Yes... I'm aware of the fact he feels like the only way to solve his problems is by killing the person and getting rid of the problem for good. However, this is different, Heaven. He's emotional beneath all of that shit talking and shooting. It just takes the right person to bring it out of him." Eric says.

"Well, thanks for the deep speech on Reshawd, Dr. Phil. It really hit home." I sarcastically say.

He chuckles. Reshawd walks in looking beyond pissed off. His skin is red and so are his eyes. He's literally growling out of anger. He glares at me. "Don't tell nobody what you saw." he sternly says. "Why? You been liked her?" I ask. "What? Hell naw. I still don't. I was just caught in a deep moment. And no, I didn't eat her out." he says. I chuckle.  "Don't lie." I say. "What the hell I got to lie about?" he snaps.  I chuckle. He didn't do It but I know damn well he was going to. "It's not your business, Heaven. Shut up.  Reshawd, come on." Eric says, grabbing his BMW truck keys. 

I shake my head.  Hopefully Eric will talk sense into Reshawd.

RESHAWD

"No, I didn't eat that girl out. I thought about it but I quickly snapped out of it. I don't know why I even started to do that anyways. I get head, not give it. I'm trippin', man." I tell Eric in all honesty. 

He chuckles. "I wasn't gonna ask you that. What you do with your mouth is your business. I just want you to know that you can talk to me about anything sexual. I don't want you to slip up. I know I messed up but I'm usually really careful." he says. 

"You ate a girl out before?" I ask. He gets quiet then lets out a small chuckle. "Yes... I have. When you were younger, I accidentally walked in on mom and dad. He was giving her head. Maybe it was because she was gorgeous as shit but it made me want to try it so badly. I've never told anyone this so promise you will go to the grave with this secret." he says.  "Aight. What is it?" I ask. He takes a deep breath.  "Everyone was drunk one night and she was crying and beyond drunk. I ate her out, man." he says.  "Who is she? What, you think I'll try to take her?" I joke. His face turns red. "Zaya. It was the night I turned eighteen." he says.

My face starts heating up. I punch the dashboard.  "Damn, I hate that slut!" I yell in frustration and anger.  He makes a sharp turn, almost getting us hit then pulls over. He stares at me. "You should work on your anger. Don't speak on her in a negative way. Why do you hate her so much now? You used to be crazy about her." he says. "Fuck that, that shit nasty. She calls us her kids, yet she let you taste her as soon as you turned eighteen. Hell naw, she is an undercover hoe. She can't blame that on the alcohol, she wanted it to happen!" I yell.

He face palms himself.  "Shut up, Reshawd. I was kidding. I would eat her if she let me though. But no... I was kidding about mom, I swear. I ate DJ's baby momma out after he got out of jail while they were talking. I was drunk and so was she. I don't know... it just happened. She sucked my dıck, I ate her in return and that was my first and only time doing that." he admits.

My mouth drops. "I see why you a lonely ass nigga who stay having sex! You In love with DJ's baby momma!" I exclaim.

He looks at me crazy.  "Don't assume that. I don't even come around her. Besides, it was so long ago. Who cares? Just don't say anything because I don't need drama for something that happened so long ago." he says. I grin. I can't believe this shit. Our family is a mess.

"I won't." I say. "So... you're curious about oral?" he asks.  I chuckle.  "A lil bit. I ain't rushing it." I answer. "Becky has an ugly name but she's a good girl, man. You should get to know her beyond how annoying she is." he says.  "Naw... she ugly." I say. He looks over at me. "Sometimes it's not about how a person looks. It's about how you're treated.  Sure, she may not be the most beautiful girl but she's a loyal girl with a huge heart. Besides, these extra gorgeous girls are rarely the loyal type if you ask me." he says.

I sigh. Why am I thinking about her? "Oh shit!" Eric yells, speeding up the street.  "What?" I yell, pulling my gun out along with him. Gun shots start going off, busting the glass in the car. Both of us start shooting back at the black Impala. We hit a couple of them causing their car to swerve. This is exactly why I love my guns. I'm good as long as I got one.

"Fuck!" I scream out in pain. All the gun shots stop. All I hear is sirens and Eric screaming and crying. I touch my neck. "Eric... Eric, I'm gone die." I choke out over my blood. I can feel it.  I know I'm dying. I've done so much wrong in my short life and I know my death is the result of all of that. I'm ready to die. I feel dead even when I'm alive and I feel like I have nothing to live for.

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