A/N: I recommend reading about Joy's past in "Extra: Character information" before reading this, in order to get a better idea of what is going on in this chapter.

Anyway, moral of the story: Lacey knows all.

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I was happy when he died. It's a terrible thing to say, I know, but it's true. I loved him, but at the same time, I hated him.

Dad was always either shouting or pissed; sometimes both. Then one day, the yelling and the drinking stopped. It stopped, and suddenly, I was free. And alone. Until James came home. "Keep smiling, Julie. Be happy." And I was. I was happy to have him by my side. I was always smiling. How long was it? A year. We spent a year together. For a year, I was happy. Then I was alone again.

"See the good in things." "Be positive." "There's always a bright side." I kept trying to see the good on the day James was shot. I kept trying to be positive when he was lying in a bed in the emergency room. I kept trying to find the bright side when they told me he was dead. I never did.

I wasn't sure where I wanted to go after that, but it wasn't my choice. They took me away to an orphanage in Winchester because I was "gifted." Gifted because I could see lies. Then I was dead, too. Eight years old. Dad was gone. James was gone. Now Juliana Ashton was gone. Then I became Joy, because I couldn't find it anywhere.

The past was lost. Bad images were pushed to the back of my mind, as well as good ones. Faces of old friends became blurred. Names were erased. Memories of cool summer days and visits to the shore were now nothing but lingering dreams. I even lost my voice; the accent my brother had always said sounded so cute with my voice faded as I assimilated to Winchester, though I managed to remember some words. The one thing I wouldn't forget, the one thing I couldn't forget, was James. James was the one memory I refused to give up.

We are walking on the pavement. He's talking, but I stop listening when we pass a familiar apartment complex where a daft redhead once lived before disappearing years ago.

I hate my name, ironically enough. I've kept it, hoping to one day find it, but I haven't. I've been happy, but I haven't truly found—

"Joy?"

"Hmm?" I turn to look at Mason, who had broken my reverie.

"You're fiddling with your locket. What's wrong?"

I blush, embarrassed that he can tell from something so trivial. The last thing James had given me was my locket. After leaving it at Wammy's when I went for a visit years back, I've practically never removed it. The locket with the picture of James and me on the inside is the only thing I have from my old life. Back when things were good; when it was just the two of us: James and Julie.

"I don't know," I admit. "Lacey's getting married, and it's making me think. All of my friends are going somewhere, have something planned. Everything's changing, but for me... it's like time isn't even moving. Like it stopped years ago. Nothing's changing for me."

My plan had been to get as far away from Wammy's as I possibly could, but in the end, I only ended up a few towns over from Winchester. It was as if I just couldn't escape.

"Do you not like where things are?"

"No, that's not it. It's just that..."

I can't voice my thoughts. I can't truly express how it feels. The last person I had ever really loved was my brother. Sure, I care about Birdie and Piper and everyone; they're like family, but it's just not the same feeling. That feeling like you know everything about the person and they know everything about you. How they can make you smile just by being near. Waiting in anticipation, wondering when you'll see them next. I haven't felt that kind of love since I was a little girl.

"You don't have to tell me," Mason says with a shrug.

I sigh, running my fingers through my hair.

My "boyfriend". That's what Lacey had called him that time we were in New York and arguing over her ugly wedding dress a few months back. It made me want to wring her neck. Mason and I have known each other for three years. He's one of my best mates.

In response to my disheartenment, Mason rolls his eyes, grabs my hand, and starts running.

"What do you think you're doing, you moron?" I say, trying to pull my hand away.

"Just hold on, would you?" he says. He sounds slightly annoyed, but I can see he's grinning.

We finally come to a halt after having run nonstop for about five minutes. I'm trying to catch my breath, but Mason seems unruffled, casually stepping through the door of the local music shop we had stopped in front of. Rolling my eyes, I walk in after him, wondering what in the world he's doing.

The bell rings as I open the door, and David, the shop owner and a mate of ours, looks over at us.

"Joy, Mason," he says. "What are you two doing here?"

"Ask him," I say, frowning and pointing accusingly at Mason.

I can see that David's amused, trying to hold back a grin.

"David, is the order ready?"

David raises an eyebrow in confusion, looking curiously at Mason. "Yeah," he says, "but I thought you weren't going to pick it up for another week."

"Change of plans," Mason says.

David looks like he's about to object, but instead, he just shrugs. "Give me a minute."

He walks away, leaving Mason and me alone. I'm still glaring at the divvy, wondering what it is he's up to. About a minute later, David returns with a guitar case, which he hands to Mason, and then Mason just walks out the door. I look at David, wide-eyed, but he simply shrugs, having no answer for me.

I groan and walk out after Mason, who is casually walking away with his new guitar.

"Did you seriously buy another guitar?" I say incredulously. We both play guitar, though different types; we had met at that music shop. "Don't you already have five resonator guitars?"

"Yes," he says, continuing to walk. "Want to see the new guitar?"

"Not really, but I get the feeling I don't have a choice."

"Good guess," he says, smiling cheekily at me.

It's about a five minute walk to the apartment he shares with David. Once we're inside, he sets the guitar down on a table, and I open the window. It's late August, and the heat is killing me.

"Alright, let's get this over with," I say, gesturing to the guitar case.

He opens the case, and I'm surprised to see an acoustic guitar. It's beautiful; dark blue with intricate silver designs painted on it.

"What's this?" I say, confused. "You don't play acoustic guitar."

"No," he says, "but you do." I look at him, confused, and he shrugs. "I was going to wait for your birthday, but you were seriously starting to bring down my mood. You seem more negative than usual."

"Go to hell," I say.

He laughs. "That's more like it."

I sit next to him on the couch. My smile is gone now.

"What's wrong with here?" he asks.

"What?" I say, looking at him in confusion.

"You said everyone else is moving, but you're still here. Why is that a bad thing? Is this not good enough for you?" He sounds more aggravated than he does concerned.

"You wouldn't understand," I argue. "You've lived in this town your entire life. You have almost everyone you've ever known here. Your parents live here, your sister lives here, most of your childhood friends live here; you've known David since you were two. You have people who love you—who really love you, but I don't have anyone like that."

"What about me?" he blurts out angrily.

My eyes widen, and my cheeks go hot. He quickly turns away once he realizes what he's said.

"What are you talking about?" I say.

He laughs, but this laugh is different. It sounds forced, hurt. "For someone who's supposed to be from an orphanage for geniuses, you really are dense, you know that?"

"I went there after my brother died," I find myself saying after a moment. He looks at me in surprise. I've never been willing to talk to anyone about what happened before Wammy's. "He was supposed to take care of me, but he died. He kept telling me to find the good in things, to find joy, but I haven't been able to. I've been happy, but I haven't been able to find joy."

Mason chuckles, much to my surprise. "Well," he says, tapping my forehead, "I found her."

I can't help but smile and laugh at his stupid joke.

"I'm serious."

I'm silent for a moment. "I'm sorry."

I can see him tense, afraid of what I'm going to say next, but still, he asks. "For what?"

"For being selfish... For never noticing that you—"

"—I shouldn't have even said anything. Just forget it."

"I can't, now that you've gone and said it."

I was taken in for being able to see through lies. "A useful skill for a detective," they said. And yet I'd never thought of Mason as anything more than a mate. I'd never thought he'd seen me as anything more, either. I hadn't listened when Lacey teased me about it, because the idea just seemed so crazy. She'd met him only a few times before suddenly coming to such an absurd conclusion, but apparently, she had been right. She's always right in the end.

Mason turns to look out the window, refusing to meet my eyes. "L-look, if you don't feel the same way, it's no big deal, Joy. Just being mates is enough."

I put my index finger under his chin and make him look at me. "I don't know," I admit, tilting my head curiously. "How I feel about you, I mean."

We sit there like that for a moment, and then I lean in and kiss him. Then it all hits me. I jerk back and nearly gasp. My hand is on my chest, and I can feel my heart beating rapidly. I try to meet his eyes, but he's looking away. I snatch off his glasses, and he looks up at me in surprise. Smiling, I put them aside, and I kiss him again.

Piper had found out the truth about her mother and gained newfound purpose, Allison had found Mello, Birdie has become B, Lacey is marrying the man of her dreams, Story has her girlfriend and her blossoming writing career, and Harrowing's art is her life. Everyone has found something, meanwhile, I've been stuck in this town for years, waiting for my life to change and to find some sort of meaning, something to make me feel whole like they all had. But now I could see. For the past three years, Mason has been there with me through the good and the bad. He has always been there, and only now, as I press my lips against his, do I realize this. I pull away from him, all these thoughts having come to me in mere seconds.

I can feel the tears rolling down my face, and Mason looks at me enquiringly. Only then do I notice that I'm fiddling with my locket. He reaches out to me, wiping my tears away with his thumbs and leaves his hands resting on my cheeks. He comes closer and kisses me, and I kiss him back. I can feel it now. I can feel that joy I've been searching for, the one that had left me years ago. I feel so stupid for not realizing it had been right in front of me all this time; that he had, and I smile as I wrap my arms around his neck.

I found it, James.