One Month Later

With my new phone on hand, I was able to keep contact with Ellie. I barely ever text Mom and Dad anymore, unless it's real urgent. But nothing like that has never happened yet. Ellyria and Halbelle are still two separate kingdoms, but I want that to change soon. So maybe our entire family can live together in one castle! Because I'm really missing my sister...

For the past month of living with Brandon and being the princess of the new kingdom, I've been feeling more and more relief and freedom. Brandon's parents are not at all strict about what I look like or about my hobbies. Part of me... no, most of me... still longs to fix the poverty over in Ellyria. With no one except Ellie over there who wants to help and be generous enough to start that movement, those poor people might die! And I worried. Another thing-- I've only known Brandon for three months now. With him before, I thought, what could go wrong?. But I soon realized how forceful the real him is, too.

"Who are you texting, babe?" Brandon asked me about a week ago as he walked into my room to call me down for dinner. He looked over my shoulder at my phone screen.
          "My sister, Ellie. I miss her so much," I replied.
          "Ahh, that's understandable! Let me take a look. It won't bother you if I, your most trusted man, saw this. Right?" his voice was stern, almost like a father who wanted his kids to have no privacy just because they're all family. "We are all family here, you know."
          Great. Now he wants to invade my privacy. It's just the root of what I think might come soon! It just has to come slow and be uncomfortable, painful! To avoid any bigger trouble now, I sighed and agreed, handing him my phone. "Yeah. Go ahead."
          So, he scrolled through my text messages to Ellie, up to the very top (when we first started texting a month ago). Slowly and carefully reading every single message. I just sat there on my fuzzy beanbag chair, waiting for him to finish. Now I can't be sure if I really love him anymore. The others I text and what I talk about should be my personal information only! After about ten minutes (Ellie and I would text every day since I moved in with him), Brandon lashed out at me and threw my phone to the ground. Luckily, I caught it before it could break. But then here comes the yelling. "I can't believe you would talk about your family and me behind my back like that! And cursing, too? That is not princess-like, Evelynn!"

I had just been talking to her about how much I miss her. How much I miss playing those fun and stupid little games with her, drawing together, having deep and intimate conversations with her while we could before going to bed every night, making jokes and laughing in the middle of our daily lessons, ticking off Mom and Dad every time. She and I did also get into discussing our parents more, which was what I was just doing before Brandon took my phone:
          Ellie: They're becoming so much stricter with me! It seems like they waited for you to leave so they could get meaner about being all girly-princessy because they knew it would disappoint you.
            Me: Wow... I'm not that surprised at all, tbh. I thought they'd want me to feel sad like that. I feel like they were the ones who secretly arranged my marriage with Brandon so that they could have me away from the castle over there.
          Ellie: Maybe so. They're kinda sneaky like that. But you said you liked him, right?
             Me: Yeah, I guess so. But it still feels strange to be married to a man who you were just forced to marry. It's not like I had a goddamn choice! He seemed nice and attractive when we first met, but now I can't tell if he was just faking it the whole time or not. Who knows, though? Our parents could actually be pretty evil.
          Ellie: You're right. Another thing: maybe they're just trying to keep you from trying to fix the poverty over here. I'm begging them all I can and sneaking anything I can to help the people. It's pretty bad. I'm so damn tired of having to benefit from our own parents being greedy and selfish!
             Me: Me too. I need to go back. To you. I miss you and love you so much, sis.  
And that's when the conversation was forced to end. I was just about to text her back to change the subject to something more fun and lighthearted when he took it and attempted to throw and break it. He's just like Mom and Dad now, oh god.

Brandon then slammed my phone down onto my desk in my room. He pointed at me in the face and, again, started yelling: "You think this marriage is straining, too!? Even more so than the relationship you had with your parents!? I have given you everything and you just took it all for granted! Never once said a 'thank you' for any of it! Your parents, too, gave you a grand castle to live in! You have piles of riches, a family, nice and fancy things, and the nicest castle, both then and now, and the perfect man who has supported your decisions for the past three months!!!"
          I remember thanking him every time for everything he's done for me. He was gaslighting me! I kept my voice low and angry-ish. "Brandon, I remember thanking you every time. Life is so much more than fancy things and tangible gifts."
          "But if you have these nice things for basic survival," he said, "you have everything! You, diva, need to stop complaining! You're lucky to have it all!"
          I thought for a minute. In a way, he was right. I did feel lucky, privileged, even, to live the life I do. My castle over in Ellyria is nice, and so is this one here in Halbelle. I had a family who provided both me and Ellie with basic needs and education. We were rich! "Yeah, I guess so, but have you seen the economic conditions of the regular people over in Ellyria? They're still living in small houses of wood and stone bricks. They're struggling to put food on the table for their families! They're still living like the old days of kingdoms, and many of them can't afford technology and cell phones. And my parents didn't want me to do anything to help them!"
          "I understand why they'd think that. They don't want to worry about the others. They wanna take care of themselves first, and that's what's most important. You can't worry about everything and everyone, Evelynn." He then crept up behind me, crept his arm around my shoulders, and started stroking and pulling my hair. I thought it was weird, honestly. "With me around, you won't have to." He continued to pull my hair and attempt to be all sexy with me. I didn't like it at all.
          "Please stop pulling my hair like that. I don't like it. Second of all, maybe you really aren't the right person for me. I want to be able to care for others because I want to use my privilege of being rich and all for good! I can't keep ignoring the poverty over there."

I knew it would come to this eventually: abuse. Blatant emotional abuse. Yelling and screaming at me to just let it go, stay with him, and never worry about my parents again. All I need to do now is see Ellie again. My only true supporter, friend, and family in life. And help the people. If I ignore them all because of peer pressure from my own family (except for my sister), I may be considered ignorant and rude and uncaring. And I'd believe it and long to change that.

For the next few weeks, we kept on arguing about the same thing. He even started to agree with my parents that I need to be more feminine and start to enjoy it. I knew it would come to that eventually-- just gradually and painfully-- abuse. It got more intense with each day. I had to hide who I was, only dressing for him. Inside, just longing to be myself more and get away. Crying and stressing myself to sleep over the abuse. From subtly hurtful comments, to lies, to yelling, to slaps on the wrist, to slaps in the face, to punches in the gut, to pinning me down on his bed in his room (where no one would see us) to hurt me physically and emotionally, as well as trying to force sex on me sometimes. At some times, he would still look through my messages.
          His parents and little Bella don't know what he's doing to me. I'm sure Bella would hate to see it, too.

And if I tried to run away, he'd try coming back. But if I don't run away, I'd turn to giving up. I'd rather be kidnapped by Hank, the criminal of Halbelle. At least I had peace and some freedom there. If the point comes eventually, I'd rather die than live to "rest" on the ground.