025
camping is for the homeless

Rafe's arm hovered above Bianca's head, shutting the doorway without a word. Bianca didn't want to dwell too much on how Sofia already knew her name, and what it meant if Rafe still spoke about her.

Instead, she turned to him, "Rafe you didn't tell me-"

"Sorry, I missed the memo where we keep each other updated on our lives," Rafe's jaw clenched, casting his gaze anywhere but the girl in front of him.

Bianca almost faltered backward at his sudden outburst. She should've been used to them by now but being with JJ must've lulled her into a false sense of security. She should know better. She did know better.

"Must've been some time between being kidnapped by Singh and having my Catamaran stolen," This time Rafe took a stride forward, causing Bianca to take one back.

Her eyes darted to the shut door and counted how many seconds it would take to open it and run. The answer made her face him; too many, "I'm not here to cause problems for you, Rafe."

Rafe stared at her, or rather through her. After a few heavy breaths, his shoulders slackened, "You're not," His tone was more gentle. "You're not causing problems. Sofia, she's- it's not serious."

Bianca gathered they were only sleeping together. A friends-with-benefits type deal, "She didn't seem to think so."

"It's..." Rafe fumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's complicated."

"Right," She hummed.

Rafe's jaw ticked, crossing his arms over his chest. His muscles flexed beneath his t-shirt, "Why are you really here, B?"

"Don't play dumb," Bianca's eyes narrowed. "You know why."

Rafe scoffed, a smirk inching on the corner of his lips, "Right- yeah, a little birdie told me a couple of hours ago, actually, that uh- the Cross of Santo Domingo was stolen. Right off the train at Wilmington," He shook his head in amusement. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

Bianca's temper flared, "I could ask you the same thing."

Rafe chuckled again, "Touché," He raised his arms in surrender.

"We both know I'm not here about the cross," She scowled.

"Alright fine," Rafe nodded, leading them both back into the living room where it was warmer. "No more cross-talk. Deal?"

Bianca watched him swipe his glass off the counter before responding, "Deal. Why are you back Rafe?"

"Straight to the point," Rafe shoved a hand into his pocket before taking a swig of his drink. "I could ask you the same thing."

Bianca remained silent, her back to the couch as she stared him down. Her arms crossed over her chest, and Rafe knew she wasn't going to budge.

He sucked in a breath through his teeth before resting his glass on the coffee table, "My dad sent me here," He answered honestly. "To shut down the offices, sign for the East River property, sell everything. He wants to move the family to Guadeloupe. Permanently."

"You sound thrilled," Bianca mused sarcastically. She knew the Pogues would be teeming with excitement if they heard the Cameron's would be out of their way for good.

"That's one word for it," He shook his head. "It's fine. If Ward wants to drink champagne and tan for the rest of his life, so be it. But that's not me."

"Let me guess," Bianca deadpanned. "You're a proactive kind of person."

"Funny," Rafe teased, fiddling with the rings on his finger. One of them being his dad's, "I don't see the point in running away. This is my home too, you know? Everything I have- everything I love..." His eyes landed on her. "Is here. So, for now, I'm staying."

Bianca watched through a hooded gaze as he outstretched his arms, gesturing to the vast expanse of Tannyhill. There was no way Ward was going to be okay with this— no way she was okay with this.

"Now that Sarah's out of the picture, my dad's finally trusting me to take care of business," Rafe rested his arms by his side again.

"Just like you wanted," Bianca pursed her lips.

"Just like I wanted," Rafe exhaled a breath. He paused before taking a step toward her, "But there's also another reason why I'm here."

Bianca shifted on her feet, uncrossing her arms, "Which is...?"

Rafe's eyes held hers so earnestly that for a moment, she forgot how to breathe. She had no choice but to believe him when he whispered, "To make sure you're okay."

Bianca tore her gaze away from him. This was what she was here for, what she wanted to talk about and yet, now that the topic had arisen, she wanted nothing but for the ground to swallow her whole.

"How are you doing...?" Rafe trailed off, trying to reach her eyes. "Since, you know..."

Bianca swallowed thickly, "Don't."

He drew back for a moment, not wanting to overwhelm her, "Don't what?"

"Don't ask me how I'm doing like- like we're friends now or something," Bianca inhaled sharply. "We're not. Whatever happened- it doesn't change anything between us."

"I know that," Rafe cut in.

"No, I'm not sure you do," She shot back.

Rafe studied her for a moment before realizing she was just lashing out— covering up the hurt with anger like she always did, "Fine. What does it mean then?"

"It means you can't just waltz back here- back into my life acting like you did me some kind of favor," This time, her voice broke.

"Waltz-" Rafe reared his head back. "If anyone's trying to waltz back into anyone's life, it's you! You're the one who showed up on my doorstep, Bianca-"

The girl ignored him, "That- that wasn't a favor, Rafe. You- I didn't ask you to do that!"

Rafe breathed in and out again, trying to keep his calm, "So what? You'd rather be rotting in jail than hanging out with those stupid Pogues you call friends? Seriously, Bianca?" His jaw rocked, a tell-tale sign he was frustrated. "Why can't you see I was protecting you, B? I did it for you-"

"No, you did this to me!" Bianca snapped, her lower lip trembling.

"Is this what you came here for? To argue with someone?" Rafe cursed under his breath. "To- to blame me? For once, I'm not at fault here!"

"No, you are!" Bianca's finger met his chest, stepping forward. "This is all your fault because now- now, I have to explain to everyone that I-" She choked on her words. She couldn't even say it, "No, I- if the cops just showed up and arrested me then I wouldn't have to deal with any of the lying, and hiding and pretending like I'm fine-"

"You think jail is going to solve all your problems, B?" Rafe snarled, grabbing her wrist and twisting it away from his chest. He ignored the wince on her face as he did so, "Well, let me tell you- it's not! Trust me, I know. Everything- everything with Peterkin, I was protecting my father. Okay?"

Bianca pulled her wrist to her own chest, glaring at the boy in front of her. She tried to drown out the memories of her father, only to be reminded of everything that happened in the summer with the late Sheriff.

"I did what I had to- so..." Rafe trailed off, linking his hands behind his neck. "Don't. I'm as much a victim as she is. No? Think about it. Okay? What did I get from shooting Peterkin, huh? Nothing. Okay? I had nothing against her. I mean, I- I- I liked her. Y-you think I wanted to make that choice, huh?"

Bianca scoffed, glancing away, "You're delusional, Rafe-"

"No! I'm not! You wanna know why? 'Cause what I did was a gift from me to my father for- for him. And I got screwed because of it, okay? So, don't get that look when I say I'm a victim, alright? I am!" He rambled, raising his voice. "I will admit, though... what I- what I did to Sarah... what I tried to do, um... what I tried to do to Sarah, I admit that was wrong."

Bianca watched as a lone tear slipped down his cheek. He wiped it away but she noticed and yet, she still felt no empathy for him. He was describing the attempted murder of her best friend for Christ's sake.

"I know that, alright? So, you don't have to remind me," He ran his hands over his head with remorse, pacing up and down. "She was family. Our family. I should've never touched her, you know? I should've never touched her, but you know, I just lose control in- in moments like that and I don't know what happened. You know that, Bianca. You know that, right?"

This time, tears pricked Bianca's own eyes but she blinked them away before Rafe could see. She did know that. She knew better than anyone.

"I just- I'm trying..." Rafe pressed the heel of his palms into his eyes before pulling them away. "I'm trying to get better. Okay? It doesn't matter- all I'm saying is just that I'm not the bad guy you think I am, okay? But that guilt? That guilt stays with you. Forever."

Bianca swallowed thickly, tearing her gaze away from Rafe. It was the hard truth, one she wasn't ready to hear yet. Her head was spinning, not just from Rafe's words but from exhaustion too. She just needed everything to stop. Just for a second.

"At least I can admit it," Rafe exhaled sharply, his chest heaving. "You- you come in here, acting like everything's my fault-"

"I know it's my fault," Bianca sniffled. She could feel her bones growing heavy now, "I know that... it's just..."

"I get it," Rafe softened, shoving his hands back into his pockets. It was easier to blame someone else. Even if it was just for a moment. He cleared his throat, "For what it's worth, I'm really sorry."

Bianca shook her head. She knew where this was going. She didn't want condolences. She didn't want apologies. She just wanted her dad back. Not the money-hungry treasure hunter. The one who slept on the floor of her bedroom after she had a nightmare or the one who held her hand on the way to preschool for the first time.

"I know how much he meant to you," Rafe hummed, still studying her. He didn't forget that at one point, Michael was like a second dad to him too. He treated him like a son. Something his own father neglected to do at times.

"Stop," Bianca's throat tightened to the point where she struggled to force the words out. She squeezed her eyes shut, "Stop talking about him."

Rafe let out a tired sigh. He knew this was coming, "You can't keep pretending like it didn't happen, Bianca. At some point, you're going to have to accept it."

"How can I?" Her eyes fluttered open to meet his. "When no one else knows what I did. Everyone thinks he's missing! My own mother thinks he's off sunbathing in Guadeloupe with Ward! Please just-" Her head was pounding now, vision going in and out of focus but she thought nothing of it. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"You're doing it again," Rafe frowned. He could sense she was out of it, "You're shutting me down-"

"Trust me, Rafe," Her tone was sharp but the words sounded like cotton in her ear. "If there's anyone I want to talk to about how I murdered my own father, it would never, ever be you."

Rafe took a step forward to tower over her, "And yet here you are. Showing up on my doorstep. Talking to me. Is that not what you came here to do? To talk?"

Bianca squinted past the ceiling lights which suddenly felt like a torch in her eyes. It was too much. All of it was, "This was a mistake-" Her chest rose and fell with shallow breaths as she turned on her heel to leave.

Rafe was swift to take her wrist, "Wait, no, no, no- B, hold on- it's not," He pulled her back. "Hey- listen to me- listen to me, B. All I'm trying to say is that I'm here for you, alright?" His eyes flickered to where his hand lingered on her wrist.

"You've already done enough, Rafe," Bianca mumbled, pulling her arm away. She could barely make out what she was saying anymore, "And besides, now I've got your stupid drug dealer on my case-"

Rafe's eyebrows furrowed, "What? Barry?" He shook his head, trying to understand. "What's he got to do with any of this?"

"Nothing," Bianca crossed her arms over her chest defensively. "He's just- he's pissed I put him in jail."

"You did what!?" Rafe's eyes widened.

"It was- it was right after you got arrested-"

"Bianca, what the fuck-" He ran his hands over his head, pacing in a circle before turning to face her again.

"And I can't tell JJ about it because he'll just get mad at me 'cause I told him he couldn't get revenge after we got jumped on the side of the road-" Bianca could feel the weight of today and every other day before that hitting her like a truck.

The air around them grew thick, making it harder to inhale but Rafe seemed to be breathing just fine, "B, slow down-" He took a step forward, noticing her pallor.

"And then he drove my car into a tree and now- now it's totaled. And then he threatened to hurt everyone the others because now he has other people after him, and my mom got super mad because I- I didn't say anything and I was out all day and she wants me to go back to school which is so unreasonable but I only said yes because of Pope-"

"Hold on, Barry did what to your car?" Rafe's eyes narrowed, trying to make sense of what she was saying but her words were practically slurring together.

"I mean, I guess he didn't really drive it into the tree, more like- um, shot the tires out so it spun..." She reached up to feel her cheek which had gotten uncomfortably warm. "Out of control- but... um..."

Bianca cut herself off when she swayed on her feet, forcing her eyes to squeeze shut. Her vision swirled in and out of focus and she took a step back to regain her bearings only for the back of her knees to hit the couch behind her. Somehow, all the noise around them ceased to exist for one fleeting moment.

It was only when strong arms helped lower her back onto the plush couch did Rafe's words register, "Woah- hey, B? Bianca? What's wrong?"

Bianca blinked rapidly, trying to shake off the wave of dizziness. She pulled his arms off her, "It's fine- I'm fine-"

"You're not," Rafe's tone was stern and through her blurred gaze, she could make out his own concerned one. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

"I-" Bianca shook her head. "I don't know... I'm just tired I guess."

Rafe's eyes flickered between her half-lidded ones, "When was the last time you slept?"

"Um..." Bianca wracked her mind and blamed it on the lightheaded feeling when she drew a blank. "I don't know."

"You don't know? What do you mean you don't know?" Rafe's jaw clenched. "Have you eaten today?"

Bianca vaguely registered him crouching down on his haunches in front of her as she gripped the edge of the couch to ground herself, "What?"

"I asked you what you ate today," Rafe repeated slowly but his tone was clipped. His hand brushed her knee, trying to redraw her attention.

Bianca weakly pushed his touch off her skin, "It's fine, I just-" She tried to stand up again. "I just need to-"

"No, no, no, you need to rest," Rafe lowered her back down to the couch. "Enough, you're gonna hurt yourself. Just lay down," He helped take her shoes off before lifting her feet.

"Rafe-" Bianca tried as he brought a pillow under her head and helped her settle in.

"Will you stop being stubborn for once in your life?" He finally snapped before softening again. "I'm not letting you leave like this."

Bianca's limbs were too heavy to try and fight him on this, "Why-" Her voice came out a whisper. "Why are you angry?"

"Because that was fucking terrifying, B," Rafe let out through a heavy exhale, hanging his head. "You- you clearly haven't been looking after yourself and just- lying to everyone. Just... just let me take care of you, okay? That's it," He held her sideways gaze earnestly. "That's all."

Bianca's pounding heart had slowed to a calmer rhythm now, allowing her to hear him clearly. The thought of being alone in a house with Rafe made her skin crawl but his eyes held a different story entirely. Something told her this time, she could let her guard down. Just this once.

Bianca shifted as if her body was trying to curl further into herself. She didn't make a sound but somehow Rafe could tell she was hesitating just by the look on her face.

"I won't tell anyone you crashed here for the night, alright?" He hummed gently, resisting the urge to reach up and tuck her hair behind her ear. "Just... Please."

It was the final nail in the coffin for Bianca's body to melt into the soft cushions below. Even though her mind was desperately pleading with her to get up, she just couldn't. Everything that had happened in the past few days was finally catching up to her. She couldn't fight anymore. Not even with herself.

"Okay?" Rafe let out a breath of relief when she nodded. "Okay."

Bianca watched as Rafe sat on the floor, his back resting against the couch she was curled on so he was no longer facing her. She said nothing and the silence bristled him.

"What's wrong?" Rafe stared at the almost empty glass of whiskey on his coffee table.

"Nothing's wrong," Bianca responded, although Rafe was right.

Every instinct in her mind told her to run but her limbs refused to cooperate. It had been too long since she slept through the night and Tannyhill was just so warm and the couch, so comfy.

Rafe half-turned so he could see her and only then did he notice her furled fists and the way her back pressed against the seats, "You're scared."

He could always tell when she was. He used to use it against her.

Rafe's heart sank a little, "What is it?" He prayed the answer wasn't what he thought it was.

"I shouldn't be here," Bianca mumbled incoherently, battling with her eyes to keep them open.

"You're worried that little Pogue is gonna find out?"

"Stop calling him that. He has a name."

"Fine. I promise. I won't tell JJ you were here."

"It's not that."

Rafe's eyebrows furrowed, tilting his head curiously, "Then what are you so afraid of?"

Bianca's eyes met his, not a word spoken but that was all Rafe needed to put two and two together. His lips pursed and he turned back to face the coffee table.

"Right, no- yeah, that's my bad," He cleared his throat, cursing under his breath. "Um, okay. Just- just talk to me then," He hoped that distracting her would draw her attention away from all the heinous crimes he committed against her friends.

Bianca shifted, still fighting the urge to crash, "...About what?"

"I don't know just- tell me- tell me how you survived out there," Rafe explained, shifting closer to her. "You were on a deserted island. I was going out of my mind worried sick. Like, how did you eat, sleep, shower? Like... I don't know. I have so many questions."

After a brief moment of hesitation, Bianca answered, "Poguelandia."

"Poguelandia?" Rafe scoffed, rolling the word around his tongue as if it left a bitter aftertaste.

"That's what we called it. JJ named it," Bianca's voice was almost a whisper. "Sarah wanted to take a vote but Poguelandia just stuck... he made a flag, with a chicken on it..." She reminisced on that white flag fluttering in the wind as her eyes did. "In a coconut bra and crocs, smoking a joint."

Rafe didn't interrupt, not even when the thought of JJ soured his mood. He knew she was getting tired when her words slowed and she let out a quiet yawn. The boy's heart squeezed at the sound, the way he knew it shouldn't anymore.

"And, uh, we speared for fish every day. And Cleo nearly lost a toe. And then Pope found out that you can make bandages out of fig leaves, so he did that for her," Bianca explained, sinking into the cushions by the second. "That was kind of when I decided we needed something more efficient to catch fish with. I made a net by weaving some old rope together. Sarah did the same with, like, palm leaves to make beds. And John B broke open coconuts for us, he made this whole, like- pile of them. And then, um, of course, Kie knows all about like, leaves and herbs and plants and shit... but we survived together."

"Wow," Rafe laughed, this time a genuine one. He shook his head in disbelief, "The one time I asked you to come camping with my family, you said, and I quote, 'camping is for the homeless'."

Bianca winced, covering her reddened cheeks with her hands. She wished she could go back in time and give her past self a reality check, "Oh no."

"Oh yes," Rafe's chest rumbled in amusement. "You also said we couldn't go together because Jason Voorhees would stab us in the back."

"Okay- that one- I was just looking out for us," She peeked through her fingers to point out and stifled a smile when she remembered JJ's irrational fear of Mrs. Crain. She always assumed they were polar opposites when they met but maybe they weren't so different after all.

"No, you were looking out for you," Rafe argued playfully. "We've been over this, that shit doesn't exist."

Bianca scoffed, "Tell that to Limbrey and her magic blankie."

Rafe threw his head back with a hearty chuckle, "God, she really was batshit. What happened to her?"

"She went back to Charleston. John B and his dad showed up with a fake and pretended it was the garment," Bianca recounted the story John B gave when he came back. "Told her this whole story of how they excavated it from some Church remains in Charleston. Must've been placebo because she believed it. Started walking and everything."

"All that effort... for an overhyped napkin," Rafe let out a breath, resting the back of his head on the couch behind him so he was staring up at the ceiling.

"Yeah," Bianca stifled another yawn. It felt weird, catching up with Rafe like this, "Okay, your turn."

"For what?" He mumbled.

"To... talk," Bianca's breathing slowed, a telltale sign that she was verging on sleep.

Rafe laughed lightly, "I guess there's not much to tell," He shrugged. "Singh lured me to Vaux Hall. They told me to wait downstairs, I turned around and there's Kie's staring at me like I was the one who kidnapped her."

"Hm," Bianca hummed to let him know she was listening but her eyes already fluttered shut.

"Whatever. I know I don't have the best track record but I'm not behind like, every bad thing ever," Rafe scoffed under his breath. "Anyway, then Singh showed up and started rambling about some El Dorado treasure-hunting crap, saying it's the greatest quest in the history of the Western hemisphere and claiming that it's his destiny to find the gold and avenge his family of indentured slaves, or something."

Rafe's voice was mere background noise to Bianca. Gone was her will to stay awake. Instead, she welcomed the darkness with open arms. She couldn't fight anymore. She was so tired of fighting.

"But I'm sure Kiara's already told you about what happened. It was my idea to work together, you know?" Rafe rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a sigh. He was stupid to ever think he could trust her, "I even offered her a ride back home but she double-crossed me. Pushed me off the Cat and stole it. I mean, it's fine now, I guess. I'm not mad. You got home safe, that's all I care about, alright?"

Rafe paused for a response. Any kind of acknowledgement from the girl behind him but he was met with silence.

"B?" He glanced over his shoulder and pursed his lips when he realized she was fast asleep.

Rafe swallowed thickly, debating with himself what to do. After a couple of moments of hesitation, he decided he couldn't leave her downstairs. Not on the uncomfortable couch.

The boy was gentle as he hooked one arm under Bianca's knees and another around her back before lifting her to his chest. She shifted only slightly, letting out a quiet noise of protest from the back of her throat. But other than that, she was out like a light.

A frown settled on Rafe's lips at the thought of guilt being the reason Bianca couldn't sleep at night. It might have been delayed but he felt it too. About what he did to Sarah. It plagued his mind as carried the girl up the stairs and toward the bedrooms.

He paused outside his door but a gnawing feeling told him to keep moving. He knew Bianca wouldn't have appreciated it and for some reason, her validation meant more to him than ever. Her opinion on whether he had become a better person would make or break him.

Rafe needed Bianca to believe he was a good person. Otherwise, there would be no point to any of this.

Rafe pushed Sarah's bedroom door open with his foot and placed Bianca gently against the sheets, careful not to disturb her. He backed away, fully prepared to switch the light off and allow her to sleep but it was then that he noticed her shirt had ridden up over her stomach.

Before he could tear his gaze away, his eyes strayed to the purple and blue bruises marring her skin. Rage trickled through his veins as he recalled what Barry did. At first, like a leaky faucet, and then all at once, a white water river rapidly burning his blood. Fire simmered beneath Rafe's ribs, alight with fury.

His fists clenched and then unfurled over and over again. Retrospect was a bitch because ever since his family went into hiding in Guadeloupe, all Rafe had was time. Time he used to think. He knew it was hypocritical of him, especially when he hurt Bianca worse than anyone else ever could.

But what Barry did— what he was doing, made Rafe see nothing but red. No, not just red. Rafe was going to kill him for hurting Bianca.

Tomorrow, he vowed to take care of it. That's why he was here. To take care of her. And already he was doing a terrible job at it. But in the morning, he would step up.

Rafe knew this was no innocent job. Barry had people backing him, dangerous people in the drug trafficking industry. But he'd do anything to get Barry to stay away from Bianca. He was going to protect her. Keep her safe.

The longer he studied her sleeping frame, the faster the fire in him extinguished. Rafe let out a longing sigh and reached for Sarah's blanket to cover the girl with. His throat tightened and he resisted the urge to crumble at her feet. Instead, he kneeled on the floorboards in front of her.

Rafe's voice was barely above a whisper, "You know, I always imagined you and I living here. In Tannyhill. Or somewhere, in a place just like this. All Lord of the manor and shit," He laughed half-heartedly but then his adam's apple bobbed. "With two little brats running around, maybe a dog. Whatever you wanted- I never fucking cared. You were always the planner- I remember you had our whole lives mapped till the name of our third kid. But... I get it," He hung his head low, disappointment settling in. His dream was forever tarnished by the blood on his hands and now hers too, "It's not me. I wasn't good for you. But God, I fucking wish it was."

And for the first time as Rafe stared at Bianca, still with a furrow between her eyebrows as if she was at war, even in her dreams, he saw her for who she was. A broken girl forced into a cruel world. A world that he made cruel. A doll that he left broken.

This time, when Rafe pressed a gentle kiss to her temple, it was an innocent gesture. Nothing behind it. No lingering lips or hushed whispers. Only a promise.

A promise that although it wasn't him. And although he wished it was. She needed to know he would always be there to protect her.

The boy pulled away soon after, flicking the light off and feeling emptier than ever. He would still die for Bianca, that much was certain.

But as Rafe Cameron hovered in the hallway outside the bedroom Bianca Prescott slept in, his mind wandered. In his head was still trying to figure out whether it was because she meant that much to him or that he meant so little to himself.

author's note. hi, what did you guys think of this chapter? im about to knock out im so tired but im going on a lil road trip with my uni friends and i was like i NEED to update for u guys before i leave. so i hope u liked the chapter (: