Bianca wasn't really sure what to make of JJ's so-called 'tour'.

It didn't last more than two minutes as he gestured around the living room where half-full beer cans lined the table and suspicious discolorations stained the couch. Of course, Bianca was well aware of the wealth distribution crisis in the Outer Banks but she just didn't think it would hit so close to home. Her home. JJ.

She knew he was only trying to cheer her up so she put on a brave face, like the ache in her heart didn't faze her. This was where JJ grew up and she wanted to love all of him, even the not-so-pretty parts.

JJ didn't feel as anxious as thought he would, showing Bianca his place. This was a part of his life he avoided even with the Pogues. But he knew, no matter what she saw in this place, it wouldn't change what she saw in him. Maybe, that's why he felt so safe with her.

"And this," JJ pushed open the door to his bedroom. "Is where the magic happens..."

He backed into the room with his arms outstretched for her to see. His sheets were rumpled and a greyish-blue. There were a couple of odd marks on the wall where the paint chipped off as if someone had hit or thrown something at it. There was a window in the far corner with a broken lock and beside it, a singular half-ripped movie poster with frayed edges, 'C.H.U.D'.

JJ strode over to stick the torn part of the plastic back on the wall but when he turned around to face her, it fell limp again. He rubbed the back of his neck, "I know it's not much but, uh..."

"I love it. It's you and I love you..." Bianca reassured immediately and watched as his shoulders sagged in relief. "All of you," Before JJ could respond, her eyes caught the opposite wall where measurements were scrawled in pencil. "What is this?"

"Oh, that's uh-" JJ's cheeks grew hot as she knelt in front of where his younger self used to measure how tall he grew. Her fingers skimmed over it so delicately, as if just touching it would wipe it away, "Yeah, I, uh- did those myself."

Bianca's hand recoiled, her heart pounding, "Oh."

"Yeah," JJ chuckled nervously, outstretching his hand to help her up. "'Oh'," He shook his head and shrugged when she didn't say anything. "It's fine, I'm a big boy. I can take it, whatever it is," He took her hands in his.

Bianca stared at their entwined fingers and realization quickly dawned on her that he wasn't talking about how tall baby JJ was at all. He was talking about their argument, back on the boat.

"What's bothering you, Bianca?" JJ urged, leaning down to try and meet her gaze. "Talk to me."

Bianca hesitated, swallowing past the lump in her throat. The urge to retreat within herself grew more potent than ever. She didn't want to talk, she couldn't. So, as her eyes flickered down to JJ's lips, she decided to distract him the only way she knew he couldn't resist.

Instead of backing off, like JJ thought she would, Bianca stepped forward, "You know..." She trailed off. "We've got an empty bed, no one's home. Talking is the last thing I thought you'd want to do after getting back..."

JJ's adam's apple bobbed, his lips parted. His eyes drifted over her in a way he knew she noticed, "I know what you're doing..."

Bianca tilted her head naively, "And what is that?" She hooked two fingers into the waistband of his cargo shorts and tugged him closer.

"Bianca" JJ warned sternly, taking her wrist before her hand could drift any further. His jaw clenched, blood rushing to his flushed cheeks and... elsewhere.

"JJ," Bianca stood on her tip-toes, fluttering her eyelashes in a way that drove him insane. "Can you be mad at me while I kiss you, baby?" She drawled. "It's all I've wanted to do since we got here."

JJ let out a quiet 'fuck,' rough and hoarse under his breath. But the moment the girl tilted forward to close the space between them, he took an abrupt step back, almost causing her to trip if it weren't for him steadying her.

Bianca's frown returned, crossing her arms over her chest. Her cheeks flushed and goosebumps skittered her skin from the sudden coldness her boyfriend's lack of proximity brought.

"You're being mean," Her eyes narrowed as the blond turned away and ran his hand through his mussed strands.

JJ could hear the pout on her soft, pink lips. God, the sheer willpower it took for him to not get on his knees and beg for her to kiss him, hold him, touch him. Fuck, he'd take anything from her at this point. He endured over a month of torture, having to watch from afar without taking her how he would've liked to.

And now? She was offering exactly what he'd been so desperate for. What he'd been craving since being stranded on the island. But, as did all good things, what he wanted came at a price.

JJ knew if he succumbed, and allowed Bianca to take what she wanted from him, he would lose. He had to be strong. They needed to talk. He was more desperate to know what was troubling her.

For once in his life, JJ Maybank was turning down a chance to get his dick wet... to talk. Who had he become? Fourteen-year-old him, the one who stole a Playboy magazine from the local gas station and hid it underneath his mattress in this very room would've been disappointed in him.

"Get on the bed."

Bianca's eyebrows drew together, "What?"

"I said, get on the bed, Bianca," JJ strode forward, forcing the girl to take steps back.

"Oh," She gave a sarcastic scoff. "So, you won't kiss me but you want to fuck me?"

"We need to talk," He towered over her. "The last thing I want to do right now is fuck you."

Despite the concern on his face, the words agitated her, "Well..." The back of Bianca's knees hit the bed frame, causing her to fall back on the bed. "I don't want to fuck you either!" Liar.

JJ rolled his eyes, "Are you done?"

She glared up at him, "No."

"Why are you being so difficult?"

Her arms crossed over her chest to put space between them, "Why won't you kiss me?" Silence pervaded through the air, neither of them breaking eye contact.

"Because..." JJ finally conceded with a sigh and lightly pushed Bianca by her shoulders so she was laid on her back. He settled next to her, both of them staring up at the chipped ceiling, " I can't look at you when I say this."

Bianca's frown deepened but respecting his wishes, she didn't question it and kept her gaze trained on the roof. Her hand inched closer to his across the bedsheets, desperate to feel some kind of contact between them.

JJ's chest rose and fell in shallow breaths, still learning how to be vocal with his emotions. He read somewhere that was the only way relationships worked. He wasn't sure where he read that. One of Kiara's self-help books probably.

"JJ?" Bianca whispered, upon realizing he was lost in his own thoughts.

Ignoring the incessant racing of his heartbeat, JJ cleared his throat before beginning, "You hurt me."

The confession rang louder in Bianca's ears than the cracking behind her ribs. There was guilt, and then there was this. The words instantly drew tears to her eyes but she blinked them away.

"You hurt me when you broke our promise..." JJ continued before she could spiral into self-loathing. His chest heaved, "You hurt me when you threw yourself in front of a bullet for me and nearly got shot."

Bianca's throat tightened, squeezing her eyes shut. Now, more than ever, she wanted to engulf him in her arms because she loved him so much. And she hurt the one person who loved her more than anyone else.

"But most of all," There was so much anger in his words, but sadness in his voice. "You fucking hurt me when you chose Rafe and-" JJ cut himself off, running a hand over his face.

But he didn't need to finish the sentence, Bianca could practically read his thoughts.

And not me.

Her mind worked a mile a minute, trying to come up with a way to rectify this situation. To prove she wasn't choosing Rafe, she was just... well... she didn't know what she was doing. Nothing could absolve this except the truth, the one thing Bianca couldn't give him.

She turned on her side to face him but before she could get a word out, a pillow was being slammed over her face, "J- ow!"

"I said you can't look at me," JJ warned pointedly, despite the boyish smirk across his lips.

"No," Bianca grabbed the pillow and hit him back with it. Unfortunately, for her, he was expecting it and held it away before she could strike, "You said you couldn't look at me," She straddled his lap, wrestling with the boy to slap him with the pillow. "You didn't say anything about me looking at you."

JJ paused for a moment, "Were you always this stubborn, or was I just blinded by how beautiful you are?"

"Both-" Bianca finally lifted the pillow behind her head and brought it down to hit him.

JJ let out a quiet 'oomph!' from beneath it before shoving it off him, "Oh, hey, by the way- you've got something in your teeth, a little bit of spinach or-"

"What?" Bianca's eyes widened, and she dropped the pillow to cover her mouth.

While she was distracted, JJ grabbed the pillow from the side of the bed and attacked her with it again. He chuckled loudly at the look of surprise on her face and the way her once neatly blow-dried hair was now a tousled mess.

"JJ!" Bianca whined upon realizing he was lying, forcing him to drop the pillow between their chests. "Stop, we have to talk about this."

"Look who wants to talk now," He teased, reaching up to twirl a strand of her hair with a high-pitched voice. "But Bianca, we've got the house all to ourselves and-"

"Shut up," Bianca scoffed, swatting his hand away from her face.

"Yes, ma'am," JJ fake saluted her with three fingers, his back against the headboard.

"I'm serious, JJ," A furrow formed between her eyebrows. "I'm sorry for how I acted on the boat."

Upon the mention of their last argument, JJ's next joke died on his tongue. The atmosphere grew somber again, as he watched her struggle to find the right words to say.

"And on the island. And back at the hotel," Bianca swallowed past the lump in her throat and tried to explain it in a way she knew her boyfriend would understand. "I'm like- a person lasagna. Too many layers. Too messy."

"I don't know," His voice was low. "I've always kind of liked lasagna."

"Even when lasagna was being stubborn?" She finally met his eyes.

"Especially when lasagna was being stubborn," JJ insisted with a chuckle. His hands smoothened her hair down, "It's my favorite part about lasagna."

A beat of silence lapsed between them in which Bianca's eyes flickered between his. She prepared herself to restart the monologue she rehearsed in her head. She couldn't tell JJ the truth. So, she'd just have to tell him the truth...adjacent.

"I'm not proud of it," Bianca huffed out a short breath and her eyes flickered up to the ceiling as if it pained her to admit. "There hasn't been a single day in my life I've felt the need to apologize. Until I met you," Her eyes bore into the sheets, unable to hold his gaze. "My father apologized to me before he went on a business trip before he missed a birthday, an award ceremony, a dance recital. Rafe apologized every time we fought, every time he tried to scare me... every time he went too far," Each memory ripped a new tear in her aching heart. "All it taught me was that when someone apologized, it was nothing but an excuse before they went and did it again."

JJ's hands gripped the pillow so tight because he was afraid if he let go, he'd swim to Guadeloupe and beat the shit out of Rafe Cameron and Michael Prescott for hurting her. He knew, however, that violence wouldn't solve anything.

"Back on the boat, when Rafe had me locked in that room," She couldn't even look at him. "I genuinely thought I'd never see you again. So, I made a deal with him. He gives up the cross and leaves our friends alone. But in return, I'd stay..." Bianca trailed off. "With him," She took a glance at her boyfriend for any signs of animosity but his stare was blank, his face unreadable, "He didn't need much convincing."

"Why would you do that?" JJ's jaw clenched, the only indication he was even slightly annoyed. "I never would have wanted that. I would've burned down that whole goddamn ship to find you if I had to, I-"

"I know, I know," Bianca placed her hands on his chest to stop him from getting all worked up. "But I wasn't really thinking about what was best for me. I was thinking about you. All I could think about was you. It was never about Rafe."

JJ was silent, his muscles taut beneath his shirt. His instinct told him not to buy it but why would Bianca lie about this? She was ready to sacrifice herself for the cross, for their friends.

"I love you, JJ," Bianca insisted, tilting her chin down to try and get him to meet her gaze. "I chose you."

"Why didn't you tell me?" JJ's frown deepened. "Why did you lie?"

Bianca shook her head, swallowing thickly, "Do you know what happens when you burn plastic, JJ?"

"Yeah," He hummed. "It melts."

"Yeah, it melts," She mocked with a tired laugh. She drew patterns against the pillow between them, "It melts and releases toxic chemicals while you watch it burn."

"...So?" He was struggling to see where she was going with all of this.

"So, when you inhale," Bianca felt coldness engulf her. "Those gases get into your lungs till they kill you too."

She hurt JJ. She did it before, and there was no doubt she'd do it again. This time though, she wasn't sure he could handle it when she did.

"I thought by lying, I was doing the right thing but..." Bianca shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. "And I know. I know it doesn't justify that I hurt you but I'm trying. I promise I'm trying."

Bianca couldn't tell JJ what happened. She didn't want to bring him down with her. He'd do something stupid like turn himself in for her when everything blew up like she knew it eventually would.

"Say something," Bianca's voice was a soft, broken whisper. "Please."

"Do you even know why I hated you, Bianca?" JJ shifted, adjusting her on his lap so he could see her clearly.

"Because I was a Kook," She murmured.

"No," He corrected. "I hated you because you made me question everything they ever told me."

JJ Maybank hated Kooks. He was supposed to hate Kooks. But for some reason, he found it almost impossible to hate this one. No matter what the world threw at them, something always drew them back together. Whether it be destiny or their insufferable stubbornness that could rival fate.

Sometimes, JJ forgot the person Bianca was before she met the Pogues. The thought that once upon a time, he used to loathe her felt so foreign now, so unreal. How could he possibly hate her? Especially when she looked at him like that.

All JJ wanted to do was take her by the shoulders and kiss— sorry, shake her until she knew she was the most extraordinary girl he ever met. But he couldn't do that. So, he settled for telling her. Each and every single day of her life until she believed him.

"I'm okay with your past. It made you who you are. And I happen to be in love with who you are. Also FYI," He cupped her cheeks to turn her face toward him. "That stands for, for-your-information," Each word was punctuated by a tap on the nose until she slapped his hand away with a scowl. "I happen to love plastic," He tucked her hair behind her ear. "Do you understand me?"

Bianca's heart swelled and she pursed her lips as she watched her boyfriend's stern expression. He was so serious about it, which made her insides flutter and wish the pillow between their chests didn't exist.

"I asked you a question, princess," The low baritone of his voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

"I understand," Bianca hummed, clearing her throat to ignore her thudding heartbeat that grew heavier and not just behind her ribs.

JJ gave a single nod, content with her response. He hugged the pillow closer to his chest and watched through a half-lidded gaze as she shifted closer to him.

Bianca rolled her eyes playfully, "Are you purposefully keeping the pillow between us?"

"Yes," JJ answered instantly, pulling it closer to his chest.

"Is it for my protection, or yours?" She arched an eyebrow.

"I haven't decided yet."

"You're acting like neither of us have any self-control," Bianca teased with a small smile.

Immediately, JJ threw the pillow to the other end of the room and shifted his hips beneath her. Just the slight change of position meant she could feel his outline, the hardness below.

The smile on her lips fell, "What are you doing?"

"Proving a point," JJ sunk lower down the headboard, forcing their chests to press together. The proximity caused their hearts to race in sync.

Bianca's breath hitched as the boy descended her neck, leaving hot, wet kisses in its wake, "JJ..." Her thighs tried to clench together only to remember he was already in between them. "We have to talk about this."

"So talk," His lips ghosted the column of her neck when he found the spot that had her fisting his shirt.

"You're-" Bianca fumbled over her words, a sharp gasp leaving her lips. "You're distracting me."

"No," JJ chuckled, pulling away to face her. "You're the one who came onto me."

Bianca's eyes flickered down to his lips, her train of thought lost behind lust. Her half-lidded gaze fell upon his as her chest rose and fell with shallow breaths. She didn't say anything. She couldn't think of anything except him.

"Well...?" JJ smirked slyly. He had her right where he wanted her.

Bianca paused, narrowing her eyes. She knew when she was being played. And if there was anything she was good at, it was winning.

Bianca's eyes darkened, only a subtle shift but it had JJ gulping all the same. She leaned forward, providing him with a clear view of the valley of her breasts where his shark tooth necklace hung right above her heart.

Her lips brushed his ear, "Bésame," She pleaded, her voice rough.

"Fuck-" JJ cursed, pupils blown out. "What- what was that?" He flipped them both over so he was hovering above her and her hair was splayed against the pillow. His pillow, "What does that mean?"

"Kiss me," Bianca couldn't wait any longer. "Abuelita's trying to teach me Spanish."

"Fuck me, that was so hot," JJ cupped her jaw and pressed their foreheads together. Bianca tried to lift her lips to join them but he pulled back slightly, "Thank you, Abuelita."

"Please don't ever say those two things in the same sentence again," Bianca told him, their noses brushing.

"Noted," JJ nodded quickly before crashing their lips against each other.

God, she tasted so fucking good. Better than any port after a storm. Home. He made it. JJ made it.

"JJ," Bianca whispered hoarsely, tugging on the hem of his shirt, a signal she wanted it off.

"I thought you said we had to talk?" He teased but she wasn't having any of it.

"I don't care," Bianca demanded firmly. "I need you."

"Princess," JJ growled, his mouth raking down her skin, his left hand sliding up to cup her tits. "I can't fuck you here, baby. But that's exactly what I'm going to do if you keep looking at me like that," Dazed blue eyes met hers, his lips wet from kissing.

"Now, JJ," Bianca begged breathlessly. "Please, I can't wait."

Her words melted his resolve to a puddle at their feet. JJ learned something about himself in that moment. If this girl tacked the word 'please' onto any request, he would find a way to fulfill it.

For JJ, this room was filled with so much heartache. So much hurt. He'd been let down more times than he could count in this very room and yet, here she was. His salvation. Her presence alone made this room a paradise on earth.

His whole life, JJ lay in this bed wishing, begging, praying for something, for someone to tell him there was a reason he deserved his father's furious lashings and the never-ending pain that came with it. But then she kissed him.

Not him, but a small scar on his chest, right above his heart, from his childhood on one particularly bad day with his father. JJ breathed the most profound sigh and wondered how she knew exactly where he wanted to be touched. No one had ever touched him there before.

Their love was like that. Healing every old wound with magic disappearing powers until they were all tended to.

Bianca touched her lips to hide the smile on her face and JJ ran his hands over her sides. She looked up at him and he kissed her again, sliding his arms around her with something that felt an awful lot like possession.

He hovered above her, a sight so fucking holy she thought she might've gone to heaven. But his lips were anything but angelic and the wisps of his hair were feigning devil horns above his head.

He was kissing her like this was the first day of forever. And goddamn him, she never wanted anything more.

author's note. hi my loves ! what did u think of this chapter ? what do you guys love reading more, bianca and jj's fight scenes or their make-up scenes? anyways i hope u guys have/had a great day !! love you <3333