Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac

I know I could have loved you but you would not let me.

I'm in Jameson's bed, watching his eyes closely as his focus on my neck in thought. It's a quiet moment, one that is sacred and precious. I indulge in it for as long as I can. 

His hand caresses my neck over the hickeys with only his fingertips, he's gentle and affectionate. The touch slides down my collarbone then across my breasts and reaches my hips. His big t-shirt covers most of my body but when his hand reaches my hips he slides it under the shirt until it's holding my bare hip. Chills fall down my neck at the feeling of his lingering sensation.

He pulls me closer to him and I let him without hesitation. My leg tangles between his. His other arm wraps around me. My hands rest in his messy hair. My head relaxes into the crook of his neck. 

I kiss his neck warmly then go back to nuzzling closely. "Paris?" He whispers into my hair, holding me tighter than i've ever been held. Like I'm trying to run away. 

"Yeah." I speak into his neck, noticing the chills that appear on his body when I speak. 

"Everything about you is perfect." He tells me. I laugh a little at this, "Nothing about me is perfect Jamie." I say in a scoff.

He freezes and separates my face from his neck, scanning my whole face to tell if i'm joking or not. "Are you kidding Paris?" He says fondly but not quite smiling because of how sincere and open he is being. 

"I've done things Jamie. I've hurt people, I'm so stupid sometimes, plus i'm not even close to looking anything close to 'perfect'. But you Jamie.. you are the definition of perfection. You look like a greek god, you're so sweet and kind, you're a genius.. and you're strong." I hesitate, feeling a little bummed out by just how perfect he is.

His thumb brushes across my whole cheek. He looks disappointed and sad despite all the nice things I said about him.

"Paris.. You are the most gorgeous girl i've ever seen. And I know you like to insist that you're this stupid because you think reducing yourself to being stupid makes it easier when you make mistakes but you are so smart. You're the nicest most generous person I have ever encountered which is worth so much more than anything. And don't call me strong as if you aren't stronger than all of us here combined. You deal with so much more shit than any of us could ever imagine and you've survived the worst of it." He tells me passionately, like a fire is burning in his heart.

I feel a tear I didn't know was coming slip out my eye and quickly reach up to wipe it away as if he's not so close to me that he watched it roll down my cheek.

"You're my perfect Eiffel Tower." Jameson teases a little with a proud smirk.

The way he said i'm his makes my heart flutter. He stands up, lifting me with him and places me down onto his desk, stepping between my legs and kissing me. "C'mon Paris. We've got a time crunch." He winks as he starts to get dressed. Is it bad I completely forgot about Toby? My own Father..

I watch him getting dressed intently, noticing the way he searches through his closet for a shirt, not that he's picky just that he can't seem to find one.

He grabs the first one he finds and throws it over his head, followed by some pants. 

He gets me some old jeans out that he tells me he still has from high school pre-puberty. It's hard to imagine a 13 year old Jameson fitting into these jeans, they seem to fit me perfectly, a little tight around the ass but it works.

I keep his oversized t-shirt on and tie my freshly dyed hair back off my face.

As we're leaving he grabs my ass playfully and my heart does cartwheels. His hand slides into the back pocket and we continue walking down the staircase until we reach the others. 

"You took your time." Xander quips with a teasing wink for only me to see. 

"Is that his shirt?" Grayson speaks up with a hoarseness in his throat. I look up to Jameson whose hand is still in my pocket, I realize this may have all been a terrible idea. 

Grayson is staring only at me, seething with fury that he doesn't care enough to hide. 

Jameson laughs softly, not realizing this laugh could be seen as menacing to Grayson because he doesn't know. "Yeah.. Uhh, we are.." Jameson smiles lowly and looks down at me happily.

"Did you sleep with her?" He asks Jameson, but his eyes are still fixated on me. 

"That's none of your business." Jameson replies, still not noticing that his brother is furious.

"He did didn't he?" Grayson asks me this time, a deep hurt in his voice.

"Ray this isn't you.." Eve interjects, taking his hand and holding it in hers. "Ray?" Xander quotes with disgust.

"Why do you care. It's clear you've already fucked Eve." I fire back. Jameson's hand grips me a little tighter in a protective manner.

"That's different!" Grayson raises his voice, making me stupidly flinch a little which causes Jameson to look between us in confusion and anger.

"Grayson calm down, you're scaring her." Jameson tells his brother assertively.

"Ray its okay. Don't let her get to you." Eve places a hand on his bicep, making me feel a pang of anger.

Grayson doesn't even spare a glance for Eve. He doesn't even like her.

"Grayson calm down." Nash speaks suddenly, he can quickly tell why Grayson is acting this way.

Jameson slides his hand from my pocket and steps towards his brother with concern. 

I watch it in slow motion. Grayson throws the first punch. His fist soars through the air until it lands on Jameson's jaw, a crunch comes from Jameson's chin followed by a shout out of pain. 

Jameson grabs his brother by the suit and throws him back, grabbing his own jaw and holding it in pain.

"What the fuck?" He yells out to the blonde boy. 

"She hasn't told you." Grayson realises. Jameson glances towards me, "Told me what?" He asks in my direction.

"Jamie.." I sigh, tears brimming up in my eyes with how much i've truly fucked everything up.

"It's him... it's him isn't it." Jameson realises, a sad wave over his face. "It was him. You were with him weren't you." He determines.

I nod sadly, giving the tears the chance to spill out and roll down my cheeks.

Jameson spears Grayson to the ground and starts beating him, Grayson fights back and in seconds they're both fully attacking each other like they want the other dead.

Nash is about to step in before Avery looks to me. "What's he talking about?" She demands furiously.

"I was with Grayson." I confess, finally saying the words aloud. I turn towards Eve who doesn't look even remotely surprised, in fact she looks rather pleased with herself, almost smug like she's planned this all along.

"And you slept with my boyfriend." She realises with rage. "He's not your boyfriend. Not after you cheated on him." I fire back.

Avery sends a slap to my cheek and I start pushing her until she trips. All of a sudden we're both fighting on the ground, pulling hair and punching. Right beside us so are Jameson and Grayson. 

Nash doesn't know who to stop or how to pull four furious kids away from each other at one time.

"Stop it!" Libby yells with a whimper.

Xander quickly jumps in to help Nash, so too does Oren which is unusual, things never get too far that Oren has to help.

Nash aggressively pulls Jameson and holds him, at one side of the room. Xander grabs Grayson and goes to the other side of the room. Oren grabs me, his number one priority always having to be keeping Avery safe. Libby stops Avery from coming at me again.

The four of us are all being held back at opposite sides pf the room. Each of us squirming in the arms of the respective holding us. 

Avery's hair is completely messed up and her eye is bruising already. Jameson is covered in blood that is pouring out his nose intensely. Grayson has a cut on his forehead across his brow. I have a bloody lip. We're all covered in bruises.

"Enough!" Nash yells loudly, his furious voice echoing the small room.

And now I realise all this leads back to me. This is my fault. All of it. Jameson's hurt because of me. Grayson's hurt because of me. Avery's hurt because of me. 

All of this is because of me. 

My body becomes numb and my ears start ringing until Nash's loud yells fade into nothing but a quiet beeping. 

I slide out of Oren's arms when he think i'm not paying attention, I don't go for anyone, instead I just walk out the room. I wipe a tear from my eye as I make my way out at a hurried pace. 

I need air. I need to breathe. I rush for the nearby balcony which looks out on the entire entrance to the house and the streets beyond it. Thousands of other tiny buildings in the distance. Other arguments going on beyond their gates, though it would be hard to match ours. 

It feels daunting to know there is so much beyond this place that is almost completely insignificant in that room when we're all fighting. At that very moment that my sister slapped me, a child made a best friend at preschool. When Grayson punched Jameson, a person died. But none of it seems to matter in that moment.

That's always been a scary thought of mine. Every punch to the face is surpassed by a child being born, the bruises won't last forever but that child will grow to be something so much more. So whats the point of the fight in the first place. Well in the heat of the moment you don't think about anything else but hitting someone so hard you knock some sense to them.

It's scary. Scary to imagine there is so much beyond me in this world. That someone just got married somewhere in the world, they don't care about me and my sister fighting. I always reach this point of thinking and realise this is why I don't think. It's terrifying. If I jumped from this balcony, the person on the other side of the world having the best sex of her life wouldn't give two fucks. 

My mind runs wild with these thoughts, it's lucky for me and everyone else that someone has followed me out and calls my name to stop me actually going out of control and testing the theory of jumping and seeing if just for a second that girl pauses her sex and feels something. But she wouldn't, I know I wouldn't if I was getting some.

"Paris." The voice repeats and I finally blink my eyes away from the tiny dots of people miles below walking around. 

I meet eyes with a matching set. "Eve." I reply sharply, composing myself and try to wipe the blood from my lip.

"Are you okay?" She frowns as she walks outside and closes the door behind her.

"Yeah." I nod quickly, still not too trusting of her.

"I just wanted you to know I seriously had no clue you and Grayson had something going on or else I never would have got with him." Eve tells me sympathetically, brushing her gorgeous red hair from her forehead.

I take in a deep breath of air and sigh it all back out, "I know Eve. But we don't have anything going on. Not anymore anyway. I want you to know you and him make a good couple, you clearly really like him." I encourage kindly.

"Paris i'm not getting with my sister's ex." She shakes her head with a laugh. "Please be my guest." I laugh before I process her words. "Sister?" I try to suppress a smile. She scoffs at me. 

"Well yeah.. we share a dad so you're my sister huh?" Eve laughs fondly.

I laugh softly at this and affectionately wrap a friendly arm around her shoulder and pull her in for a quick hug which ends up being a little longer than quick.

"Are you okay?" Eve asks me once again, speaking into my wavy blonde hair. 

"Yeah, it's just a cut and some bruises, i'll survive." I joke. 

She frowns, "I mean are you okay okay. You just seem down about something." She tells me.

"I dunno. It just feels like anywhere but here would be better for me right now." I admit with a frown.

"What do you mean?" She questions. 

"I just... I feel like Hawthorne House is something that should become a thing of my past. I left here for college to get away but I just always keep coming back to this stupid house and it only ever ends badly." I bite my tongue and lean against the stone railing of the balcony.

"Well maybe it's just not your place right now." Eve suggests. 

"Yeah well it sorta has to be now that Toby is missing and I can't exactly help from Massachusetts." I swallow.

"What if you don't have to.. Paris I really think Massachusetts is where you're meant to be. If you leave I swear to you i'll text you all the time and keep you updated... Let's be honest, you're not exactly gonna be the one to solve any of this in the end even if you do stay." She jokes with a laugh. 

I can't help but laugh at her bluntness and nod in agreement. "That's not fair to anyone. Not to the boys. Not to Toby. Not to Avery. And definitely not to you." I dismiss.

"Paris. If you stay we'll get Toby back. If you go we'll get Toby back. Only difference is you would be unhappy and missing even more college." She weighs out for me. 

"You really think I should do this?" I ask my older sister. She gives me a proud smile, "I know you should. I'll text you with updates on everything. Don't come back until you've finished college. I even heard Grayson is thinking of leaving Harvard next term so you wouldn't have him bothering you." Eve urges.

I smile a little, "I'm gonna go. I'm not coming back for vacations or holidays. I'm staying no matter what." I nod in agreement with a beaming smile.

Eve pulls me in for a tight hug and I finally feel content. She'll make sure they get Toby back, I'll continue with school.

Not long later that night i'm in my bedroom packing up my case and bag up again. I have tickets for tonight. 

I hear my bedroom door slide open and don't have to turn around to know it's Xander based on the tall shadow that casts on me.

"Paris." He warns slowly. I turn around and try to cover the bags but it's no use. 

"Paris." He warns again with a disapproving shake of the head. "No Paris." He insists sadly.

"I'm going back to MAD. But i'm not coming back this time. I wanted to tell you this time because I've decided i'm not visiting. So you won't see me until four years time when I finish school. But we're gonna call every night and it's all gonna be okay." I explain. 

Xander shakes his head with tears in his eyes, "No Paris. Don't just leave because my brothers are dicks. They'll forget about it in a day or two. Don't leave." He begs like a sad puppy.

"Xander its not about the fight. I'm leaving to focus on the dancing. I can't be around the paparazzi anymore or the expensive cars. It's not what I wanted for my life and i'm not letting my sister's inheritance define who I am as a person anymore." I say strongly. 

Xander lunges forward and picks me up in his two arms. His warm breath tickles my neck and makes it even harder to pull away.

"I'm happy you're going to be happier now." He tells me solemnly.

"Is it surprise time yet?" I hear Nash whisper by the door. 

"I forgot about that." He mutters and calls out a yes to Nash. 

Nash walks through my doorway holding a trembling and tiny puppy that cowers close to his shirt.

My jaw drops in shock as I approach the puppy who whimpers away as it notices me getting closer.

"It's okay buddy." Nash whispers to the little guy, stepping closer to me.

I reach out slowly to the puppy and let her sniff my hand with her tiny wet nose.

And when she's realised i'm not trying to harm her I touch her head and gently pet her until her head nuzzles up to my hand.

"Hi baby." I coo softly towards the frightened dachshund with big floppy ears.

Nash slowly passes her to me and the second the dirty pup is in my arms she scurries closer to me. I hold her tight as if she might be taken from me. I've already decided this is my daughter.

"I found her in an alleyway, bunch a drunk guys poking sticks at her. I scared them off and brought her home, I reckon she's a Hawthorne." Nash winks.

I gasp sadly at the story, at my sudden noise the dog climbs around and clings her claws into my shirt to hoist herself up as far as possible to see whats the matter. I clear a little twig from her head blocking her view and she licks my neck gratefully.

"She really likes you." Xander laughs. Her curious head tilts side to side watching me inquisitively. "You do?" I ask in my baby voice, she immediately responds my kissing my neck again.

"You want a bath?" I offer, she licks my face again and I take that as my answer.

Before I know it Xander and I are running a bath and babysitting our little girl. I test the water with my elbow and decide it's an acceptable temperature.

I place her in the shallow water and watch as she immediately looks more relaxed and warm. I use some shampoo after googling if it's safe for dogs. I massage it all over her body until her body is white with bubbles. My sleeves are rolled up but it's not helping much.

Xander starts recording me as I massage the dog. He lets out a laugh when she starts shaking and i'm immediately soaked by the soap. I squeal and then the dog jumps out the bathtub sadly to make sure i'm okay, instead she makes it worse by landing in my arms and soaking my white shirt through. The force of her jump makes me fall back onto my back from my sitting position. She starts kissing my face whilst I scream for help, instead of supplying such help Xander takes close up shots.

Much later, i'm laying in bed beside Xander getting ready for our last sleepover night together. The dog is nuzzled under the covers between us too, her brown hair still damp from her bath. She's still cuddling into me like i'm her Mother.

"There's another Hawthorne choosing you over me." Xander rolls his eyes dramatically.

I laugh and hit his arm playfully.

"When I go you need to give her a good name." I tell him. "Nothing stupid like Scones or Tiramisu." I joke.

(a/n. A lot happened in this one. So yes, in the next chapter we're having another Paris at college chapter. And yes i'm fully aware you'll despise me for making Paris trust E*e. Basically when E*e said 'you wouldn't solve it anyway' its like a secret message for her think Paris actually would be the one to solve it all because of her EQ and purposely sending her away to get rid of that trouble. So E*e saw Paris as something that would get in her way and had to get rid of her.. not like kill her or anything but like get her out of the state. She'll be back tho i swear. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed)