Us by Gracie Abrams and Taylor Swift

And if history's clear, the flames always end up in ashes and what seemed like fate give it ten and you'll be past it, Babylon lovers hanging missed calls on the line, I gave you mine, do you mind us, us? I felt it, you held it, do you miss us, us? 

I woke up early today. Earlier than I would've if I were at home. There isn't much to do that doesn't make me want to rip my eyes out so I took a walk around the facility. I had to walk with a security guard to ensure I wouldn't make a run for it. 

I ate oatmeal for breakfast, it actually wasn't awful, just a little cold. They never heat anything on full because we're all 'unstable' so it could be a safety hazard to us or others. They started limiting me to one coffee a week after I told them I was used to living off three a day. 

The gym here's pretty good, but they have guards all around in case I try to bludgeon someone with a dumbbell. There goes my afternoon plans.

After an hour in the gym, I shower in the entirely white communal multi-gender bathrooms, hating the way the other psychos are looking at me. One guy was escorted out by a security team of three because he was pretending to brush his teeth and read a newspaper but really he was just jacking himself off and staring right at me. Communal bathrooms don't bother me, I don't mind sharing a bathroom with others. It's the people in this one that scare me. 

I get to my room and the second I'm dressed the head of security offers me his sincerest of apologies, vowing it won't happen again. He then informs me I have visitors again. I've been in here for three weeks and I've continually refused visitors, but today's the day. 

He walks me to a new room I've not been in yet. It has three white walls and one entirely clear wall with a few small holes for communication. It's pretty big, but there's nothing filling it other than one single chair. 

Beyond the glass there are 10 chairs. I pick the skin around my nails. They're the best bet I have at distracting myself from the white overkill on the walls. 

Grayson's the first to walk in, his eyes instantly finding me. I watch every detail of him. His eyes trailing once up and down to assess my overall wellbeing, then a softer glint overtakes them when he realizes I'm watching, then the silver pools harden again. His jaw ticks, his posture straightening and a swallow rippling down his throat. 

Avery and Jameson follow, along with Libby and Nash, followed by Xander. 

"Hey P." Grayson's voice is a little hoarse before he clears it and takes a seat. The others echo similar greetings. 

"I'm not fucking joking, I need to get the fuck out of this shit-hole." I tell them sternly. "Lovely to see you too." Xander snorts. 

"They serve me cold food because they think I'll burn someone's face off with a bowl of soup. I can't go on the internet, or listen to music. They make me color and talk about my feelings. And a guy jerked off to me in the showers this morning." I shiver with disgust. 

"What?" Grayson sits up quickly. "He was sent to another facility out of town." The security guard clarifies, resuming his post by the door of my little cell. 

"Look you're here for the better of your own wellbeing. I promise it's all going to be okay." Avery assures gently. 

"I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't kill Maddie. It was the stalker." I plead, flicking my eyes over each of their faces to beg for their approval. 

They all just nod. It's not a convinced nod, just nods as if they've already been briefed before walking in to just nod and move on. 

"How's your room?" Libby asks, "Shit." I deadpan, refusing to make conversation until I'm out of this place. 

"You sleeping okay?" Grayson pipes up. "No." I say blankly. "Nightmares?" He questions. "Habit." I scoff. "How so?" Jameson cocks a brow. "Haven't slept a whole night in a year. Being asleep is a weakness. I'm vulnerable when I'm unconscious." I state. 

They all look visibly affected by that in different ways. 

"I need out. I promise I'll lock myself in my room and never leave, I just can't be here." I plead. "What good would that be Pear? This is for your safety more than others." Libby frowns. 

"No it's not. You think I'm insane. You think I'm a murderer." I scoff. Silence.

I let a pang of emotion escape on my face. "You actually think I did it. Not even a second thought. Jesus Christ." I breathe. 

"Paris-" Nash starts. "Fuck off. Get the fuck out." I snap, a crack in my raw voice. "Pear-" Libby tries. 

"If you aren't planning on getting me out I'm not interested. Fuck off." I raise my voice. They let out sighs but make no moves to leave. "Was I not clear? Go." I cry out. 

The group stagger out, the security following them out. One figure remains in his seat, unwavering. 

"Grayson Hawthorne, you know by now that listening to me is always your best bet." I speak flatly. "Not always." He speaks back with the same intonation.

"I said leave." I tell him sternly, looking down. "I'm not ready to go, P." He tells me. 

"What do you want, Gray?" I sigh. "What have I always wanted?" He flips the question on me. "Peace on earth?" I mock. His lip twitches, then he corrects my answer. "You." 

I mumble a response, no specific words, just sound. 

"I missed you." He lets himself say. It's brief, and otherwise just a silence filler, but not with Grayson Hawthorne. Every word counts with Grayson. 

"I miss you." I reply. It might sound like the same, but the two statements have very different meanings. "I'm right here." He whispers.

"I miss us." I correct my initial wording. "Do you miss us?" I try gently.

"I miss everything about you P. I miss you. I miss us. I miss who I was when I had you." He speaks intimately. 

"I need to ask you something. I'll know if you lie." I tell him. He nods for me to go on. 

"Do you think I killed Maddie?" I ask.

One beat after my question, I know my answer.

The muscles in his face strain and his eyes blink just once. 

"You can go now, Grayson." I sigh, swiping my hand over my cheek to discard the tear on my cheek. 

I feel a sting in my eyes when I look into his pupils, refusing to blink. My head hurts. I feel numb. I smell his cologne and a thick smoke smell. I taste my own tears and even a little blood from my tongue where I'm biting.

"I don't think you killed her. I think the voice in your head driving you crazy did it." He rewords carefully. 

"I can't stand you. Just say it straight instead of bullshitting me." I scoff. "Okay. I think you're sick and you killed one of your best friends unknowingly." Grayson states. 

"I think if I were to kill anyone, it would've been you." I mumble. "I'm not scared though." He adds. "Because I'm behind a glass wall?" I arch a brow. "Because I love you." He tells me. 

I cough, the air feeling thicker. 

"I think you should go." I tell him. "Because I know you love me." He finishes. 

"Go, Grayson." I order. "I'm not leaving." He yells, just enough to hoax a flinch out of me. 

"Have you started smoking?" I change the topic. "No." He tells me. "Yeah you have. I can smell it. Was it to deal with the stress of dating a murderer?" I cough out. 

"I've not started smoking. And if I ever did it wouldn't be because of you." Grayson sighs. 

"I'm not letting you change the topic here. We have something. Even with you in here we can make it work, because I love you." He pleads. 

"Grayson can you not smell that?" I furrow my brows. 

"Please stop changing the topic, P." He sighs.

"I'm being serious, Gray. It reeks of smoke." I cough.

(a/n. Idk if anyones saw what I posted an hour or so ago but in case you haven't, in short, I'm reading The Brothers Hawthorne and love it more than I originally thought I would. I'm thinking of so many plots that would work in Riches had I followed it for Part 4. I regret following this plot line instead. I contemplated a few things. I thought about deleting this whole part and starting part 4 again. Then I contemplated making part 5 based off TBH and writing it after this, but the timelines don't work. So I thought of writing part 4 again for TBH and keeping this version of the plot published as a bonus alternative version. I really don't know what to do, but I do know i want to finish actually writing this version before deciding so I don't leave it unfinished and do something else. Please lmk what you think, I need second opinions)