Christmas Song by Phoebe Bridgers

The sadness comes crashing like a brick through the window, and it's Christmas so no one can fix it.

Swimming in a race against Grayson Hawthorne is always bound to end one way. He wins and then smugly gloats in silence. But not when he fakes cramp and lets you win. 

He was quick to rise out the pool and scoop my freezing body up, escorting me promptly to the hot tub.

"Where'd the cramp go?" I mutter teasingly against his bicep as he carries me bridal style.

"Just to clarify, we both know I faked it and I would have won." The competitive side in him takes over, I laugh, his smile returning as he lifts me above the hot tub. He lowers me into the water and jumps over the edge of the stone hot tub.

The hot water burns in contrast to the once freezing weather. We both take a moment to just breathe and adapt to the temperature.

Grayson leans over and starts making out with my neck, my head rolling back.

He's quick to kiss my breasts, then get into position kneeling on either side of me. He scraps my underwear in no time, spreading my legs far apart and moving me to the perfect position.

"You ready?" He asks for confirmation. I nod immediately and he hits the on button for the jets, making the pressured water shoot up inside of me with a loud echoing moan.

He keeps kissing me all over, hickeys appearing, those of which he smugly grins at.

"Up a notch?" He offers. My hand runs up and down his abs, one resting in his hair where I grip down. I shake my head yes and patiently wait for the pressure to go from 1 to 2.

He watches in slow motion the sensations and pleasure building up on my face and immediately connects our lips so the scream of a moan I let out can be muffled by his lips and not draw the attention of the entire house to us.

Grayson's hand trails down my hip, outlining my body until his hand reaches my thighs. He slides two fingers into me, pulsating them in and out in perfect harmony with the jets.

"Fuck Grayson!" I whimper, rolling my head back.

"Don't wake anyone up okay?" He says one last time before sucking in a deep breath and going under water. I grip his blonde hair underwater with my two hands.

His fingers slide out of my body and are immediately replaced by his tongue, slithering around and making me groan and moan every few seconds with pleasure.

He finds my clit, doing absolutely everything he can to destroy me.

My head falls back, my chest rising and falling intensely, sweat dripping from my forehead. I almost think I'm seeing stars but then I realize I actually am just seeing stars in the sky.

But then my vision starts to blur and my hips are thrusting closer and closer to his face in desperate cravings for more.

My white painted nails clawing down his back in the building of pleasure.

I cry out his name as I release myself, finishing all over his proud smirk. He gasps in all the air he can the second he gets up.

"Why didn't you take a break to breathe?!" I demand, realizing he was down there for like 2 minutes.

"Cause I didn't wanna miss the main attraction." He shrugs innocently, thumbing his lower lip and licking my juices clean from his thumb. "I love you." He winks in a sing song, the now pretty mild intoxication making him a little more giddy than usual.

"I love you." I pant in exhaust, the two of us relaxing in each other's arms for a little longer before escorting each other back upstairs to his room.

"I'm glad we had such a great Christmas, but does that mean we're gonna argue about the whole tie thing tomorrow?" I ask sceptically, pulling on his spare pj's at the same time as him.

"Well I don't exactly feel like talking about it now. Because whenever I think about it I feel angry and I had a really good night with you." He clarifies firmly.

"But if we don't talk about it will it just built up until we hate each other?" I demand. "I'd never hate you." He says with dead seriousness.

With his oversized pj's warming up my body I start to remove the pillows from his bed, him doing the same at the other side.

"I'm not gonna make some excuse about where the tie came from. I'm not telling you I have a perfectly reasonable excuse, because I don't. I have no clue where it came from." I repeat.

"You keep saying that. Ties don't just appear. If you just tell me, I won't even be mad, it's just the fact that you keep lying to me." He raises his voice just a little.

"I'm not lying to you Grayson!" I yell. I run my hands through my hair with frustration, not making any efforts to get into bed.

"Then how the hell do you explain this?!" He matches my tone, shouting at me just as I did him. His hand subconsciously slides through his hair too.

"I dunno Grayson! Okay! I really don't know!" I scream with frustrated tears in my eyes. "Maybe if you just trusted me this wouldn't be happening!" I add with rage.

"I do trust you! But if you don't fucking talk to me this won't work!" He replies. 

I'd be surprised if the entire house isn't woken up at this point, our yelling subduing the silence of the night.

"You clearly don't trust me or you would have let it go by now! If you really think I'd cheat on you then maybe that's the problem here." I shake my head, hand on my forehead as I rub it.

"I mean you can't blame me can you?" He scoffs. I grit my teeth.

"Okay, maybe I did cheat on you. Then what?" I suggest. "See? I fucking knew it!" He says with fury.

"You're really that quick to believe me? No questions asked?" I sigh with disbelieve.

"It's been a year Paris! A year! You're a teenager in college. You're going to frat parties every weekend. You can't expect me to think you tell every guy that comes your way that you're dating some guy back in Texas." He explains.

"What so I'm just some kid? Is that all I am to you? Some slutty teenager who can't contain herself?" I demand. "I really don't know Paris. You tell me. You're the one with a tie in your bed." He continues.

"I'm glad I finally know what you think of me." I settle, finally lowering my voice. I calmly start to gather my shoes, jewellery and dress.

"Where are you going?" He sighs, his voice more calm and apologetic.

"I don't really think this is working. And for the record, I spent every one of those parties talking to hundreds of guys who were into me about my amazing boyfriend waiting at home for me. But I guess maybe I should give them a call now that we're breaking up." I avoid his stare, fumbling to put the heels on so I'm not storming out of his room with my toes out.

"Paris stop it." He interferes. 

"I'll see you later. I guess you can use that open ended flight ticket to go somewhere else." I mutter, stepping in the direction of the door.

"We're not breaking up, P." He promises. "Well what the hell are we doing then, Gray?" I sigh in defeat.

"I'm sorry. I just.. This is so hard. I trust you but I can't go another year of calling between classes and sleeping alone. I know you'd never cheat on me, but being so far away and seeing you post photos out with guys.. It's just made me jealous I guess." He confesses, stepping in front of me to block me from the door.

Grayson isn't the type to confide in anyone about being jealous. Thats how I know how much this is affecting him.

"I miss you too.. It just hurts to hear that you think I'd cheat on you.." I admit, looking up to his gray eyes.

"I don't think that." He promises me.

"I seriously have no clue where that tie came from, Grayson. I know you don't believe me, I just-"

"I trust you. I don't care about the tie. I love you." Grayson interrupts me, taking all my stuff out my hands and placing them down on an arm chair near us, his hand resting on my forearm.

"I love you too." I tell him.

His hands pull me in to an unexpected hug, one hand on my head and the other on the small of my back. It only takes a moment for me to relax into his hug and wrap my arms around his back.

"Is this over?" I ask him gently, my voice indistinct from his pajama shirt. "Whatdy'ou mean?" He muffles against my hair, refusing to let go of me.

"This whole fight? Can we just enjoy the time we have without any internalised hatred for each other." I joke. 

The vibration of his laugh against my face heals all anguish caused by the fight and leaves a smile on my face from joy.

He gives me one last tight squeeze before lifting me up and flopping onto his bed with me in his arms. I kick off my heels and cuddle close to him as he pulls the blankets over us and turns the lights off.

"It's over." Grayson confirms, kissing my forehead.

(a/n. Is it over Grayson? Are you sure?... We'll see. Thanks so much for 135k you guys, this is so incredible!! I swear the Christmas chapters are over now. A couple more wintery ones, maybe a new year's one and we're back to normality. Thanks for reading, hope you guys enjoyed)