17

Blake's POV

No one bothered me as I walked through the school, people were too busy whispering, and none of them cared about me anyway. I was just the weird one. As I opened the door to the floor I saw Ash drag a giggling, blushing and hair messed up Jasmine into his room. Why was everything happening around me so fast while I couldn't do anything? I pushed open the door and walked to the room.

'Blake' said Skye, startling me until I almost jumped.

'What the hell are you doing here?' I asked.

'I need to talk to you' he said.

'Get out' I said.

'What?' he looked confused.

'You heard me, get the fuck out before you yell at me again over nothing.'

'Seriously Blake-'

'Seriously Skye, get out.'

He closed the door 'I'm not leaving.'

'Oh fantastic, keep me prisoner in my own room' I said, pushing my hair back 'I'm not in the mood.'

'You've been crying' he said.

'No I haven't.'

'Yeah you have. I can see, your eyes are all puffy. Didn't sucking the face off Dino make you happy.'

'It's not like that' I sighed.

'What is he just one of your boyfriends or something?'

'I only have one boyfriend. Not even that' I replied.

'He made you cry, didn't he?'

'No it wasn't, well...' I hesitated 'Skye, just stay the fuck out of my life I'm not in the mood.'

'What the hell did he do?' he said angrily.

'It wasn't him, it was me. Leave us all alone and go screw up other people's lives.'

'Other people aren't as entertaining.'

'Get. Out. Of. My. Room.' I repeated.

'Blake. Break up with Dino' he said. My heart stuttered feebly.

'You can't tell me what to do.'

'I can' he said.

'Yeah but I won't listen.'

'You will because it's me.'

'And you mean so much in my life' I replied sarcastically.

'I know' he replied.

'What happened in your life that made you so fucked up, and so up yourself?' I asked.

'I met you. What's your excuse?'

I laughed, staring at my hands 'do you really want to know Skye? Do you really want to know what fucked me up so badly?'

'I'm gagging to know' he replied.

'Okay. As long as you promise not to tell anyone.'

'I promise' he said.

'Okay then.' I swallowed a lump in my throat and looked straight into Skye's deep blue eyes. 'About eight years ago, my mum got married to this guy called Paul-'

Skye's POV

'About eight years ago, my mum married a guy called Paul-'

God Blake was gorgeous. The tear tracks on her face just made her look beautiful and vulnerable at the same time, but I wanted to punch Dino more than ever. I shook myself and focused on Blake again.

'-Nice for the first year or something, but then... but then.' She paused and covered her eyes 'he started hitting my mum.'

'Shit' I said, instinctively. I mean what the hell was I supposed to say to that? I couldn't tell her it was going to be alright because it wouldn't be.

'He's a piece of shit, worthless, shitty garbage' she kicked Natalie's bed.

'Yeah' I said.

'Anyway and my stupid mum always forgave him ad let him back into the house, and I got so depressed that when I turned ten I start making myself sick after every meal.'

I felt my stomach drop. Blake, depressed. Blake, bulimic? 'Blake I'm so sorry.'

'So my mum found out when I was eleven and sent me off to this clinic place where I had to live with insane people and talk about my feelings. But I didn't tell them about my stepdad, didn't tell them about their 'disagreements' as my mum called it' she shook her head and pushed back some amazing hair. 'I was there for a year, and even though it was so crap I never went home.'

She walked over to the window and lit a cigarette.

'So then when I got out I dyed my hair purple and came straight to this place' she looked around the room 'my home.'

'Blake, I didn't know' I said, trying to sound apologetic.

She glanced at me for a moment, then took another drag from her cigarette 'that's because I didn't tell you, isn't it?'

'I guess so, but Blake-'

'I couldn't stand going home. I avoid it as best as I possibly can.' She shrugged 'that's asshole always does the same thing while my mum adores him and raises his fucking kids' she shook her head then ran her hand through her hair. 'Then when I turned thirteen I met the most amazing guy, and I fell in love with him. He wasn't at all like all those other guys who used to hang around me all the time like pathetic puppies. And I thought the feeling was so amazing, love, it was great. I thought no one could feel the same way. But I quickly found out that the feeling was shared by at least half of the girls in my year, but I used to follow him around. Wishing he would notice me from all the beautiful girls that hung around with him, Silkie Cassidy for fuck's sake, I was stupid to even think I had a chance. Then I realized that I was no better than those stupid slavering puppies who followed me around, and I got really depressed and started throwing up again so I was beautiful. I gave up on everything. Then, when I was fourteen we talked at a party. Nothing more than a few words-'

'Blake, I remember this' I said quietly.

'Do you? Because you certainly don't act like you do' she said, blowing smoke out the window. It was starting to get dark outside. 'Anyway and my hope began again so I stopped throwing up and tried to find more occasions to talk to him. Then I asked him whether he liked me and he said yes, that he'd noticed me as well. Then the next two months were amazing, and I felt so happy until he kissed three girls at a party, and said it didn't matter.'

'It didn't' I said, angrily. Why couldn't I stop arguing? Why couldn't I control the shit that came out of my mouth?

'It happened okay? And you didn't love me. But I never made myself throw up again and just toughened up with everything and I dealt with the shit that came my way as oppose to giving the fuck up like I used to and it was so...' she hesitated 'it's so much better.'

'You should tell someone' I said.

'About what?'

'Your stepdad' she took a final drag then flicked her cigarette butt out the window.

'Who would listen who could actually do something?'

'I don't know. A teacher, I really don't know.'

She leant against the window. 'Do you know what's shit?'

'No' I replied.

'My stepdad, the wonderful Paul, has all the money. He pays for me to go to school, he pays for my house, he pays for my life. Before him my mum was broke. And he's a lawyer, so even if my mum got the guts to divorce his ass he knows the best in the world and take everything from me and my mum. What little was left my mum would use up in under a year and then its goodbye everything. Forever. I can be trailer trash.'

'That is fucked up' I said.

'I know' she looked so beautiful. Her face silhouetted against the darkening day outside. I walked towards her and wrapped her arms around her shoulder, because I wanted to make her feel better.

'Skye, what the fuck are you doing?' she asked, then I kissed her before she could say anymore. Blake's mouth was the best mouth in the world, no one could kiss like her. Then I felt her kiss me back and I closed my eyes.

'Get the fuck off me' she hissed.

'What?' I asked.

'I have a boyfriend' she replied, tensing in my arms. I just wanted to hold her like I used to, and for her to want it to. I let go of her arms.

'Blake-' I said.

She grabbed my arm and dragged me to the door 'stay the hell away from me' she cried, throwing me out and slamming the door in my face. I rammed on the door 'Blake' I yelled 'Blake.'

I heard her start to cry, and slide down the door. Heartbreaking sobs. Shit Skye, just like you to be the jerk like always. I wanted to cry, thinking about all she'd been through. Blake... shit you've screwed everything up for good this time. I sat down, leaning against the door.

'Blake. I don't care if you don't reply.' I said.

No reply.

'I'm so sorry.'

No reply.

'I'm going to kill your stepdad if you want me to.'

No reply.

'Don't break up with Dino.'

She sobbed again. 'I won't' she said, then paused 'he said I was beautiful.'

'Yeah. You're really sexy Blake.'

She sobbed. 'Just like you Skye. You kiss me and screw everything up perhaps worse than it even was, and only because you're jealous. Do you even love me?'

I didn't reply.

'You know what Skye?' she said.

'What?' I asked.

'That was the wrong reply.'