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"Of course I am not worried about intimidating men. The type of man who will be intimidated by me is exactly the type of man I have no interest in."
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
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Jules

Looking for something or someone?" I ask. For the past ten minutes, all Metisha's eyes have done is wander around the bar.

"Nope." She lifts her glass of martini. "I'm only checking for kidnappers."

I shake my head. Why am I friends with this woman? "Never knew kidnappers now go around with a tattoo on their forehead that says," I make my voice deeper, "Hey look, I'm a kidnapper."

She simply rolls her eyes at me. "Hey, barboy!" she yells for the bartender even though he is just right in front of us at the other end of the counter.

The bartender who couldn't be older than twenty-five chuckles, "Barboy?"

"What? You don't like that?" Metisha asks, a mock frown on her heavily made up face.

"Actually, I do." His smile becomes wider and I can't help but notice the cute dimples that appear on both cheeks. He refills Metisha's glass and tops up mine, his smile still intact. I look at his partner who's also happily, with a smile on his face, attending to a tiny lady.

Guess 'Smiling' is part of their job description.

I pick up my glass and expect Metisha to do the same since she was the one who asked for a refill.

"Hehehe." Her not-so-pleasant giggle is the first thing I hear before turning on the barstool to look at her.

The sight that confronts me is nothing less than shocking!

Holding her stomach while laughing so hard, Metisha slightly leans into...

Dwayne Johnson?

Just kidding. But to be honest, with his hulky build, the guy could have been his twin brother.

I patiently wait for Metisha to cease laughing and explain what the heck happened in the less than five minutes I had turned away from her.

At last, she seems to recover from whatever made her laugh so hard. Wiping a tear which was starting to make it's journey down her face, she clears her throat and gives me a coy look. "Uhm.. Jules, meet Teddy."

"It's Freddy." Hulky guy corrects. Come to think of it, his voice sounds like that of Santa Claus. Maybe even deeper. I couldn't help but imagine him in a Santa getup, giving out toys and whatnots with his larger than normal hands. This thought makes me snicker unintentionally, hence, earning a glare from Metisha, who, by the look on her face, has developed some interest in Hulk Horgan here.

Just what is with her and men who look like results of steroids usage gone wrong?

I quickly compose myself and fix the fakest smile in the history of fake smiles on my face. "Hi, Teddy-Freddy!" I say, in a voice too chirpy to be sincere.

"It's Teddy," Metisha says just as Hulk says "It's Freddy."

Forcing back a laugh that threatens to escape, I stretch out my hand to... Teddy or Freddy for a shake. "I'm Jules. And sorry, my friend here is really bad when it comes to recalling names," I lie, throwing Metisha a meaningful glance that says, "Now, you owe me'.

"She's very right. There are times I forget even my own name," she backs up my lie, giggling like an idiot.

Now, there is something about Metisha; Even though it's not a hidden fact that she doesn't date; those who know her well, (Apart from her dad, obviously) know that she and one night stands are like Siamese twins. And as I watch her subtly but not so subtly run her slim fingers down the enormous biceps of Hulky Freddy, I need no one to tell me my friend isn't going back home with me tonight...

***

For ten minutes! For ten freaking minutes, all I do is sit down here and listen to cringe worthy jokes made by Hulky Freddy. The most annoying part is the way that idiot I call my friend keeps laughing like as if he said the funniest thing in the world.

Poor Freddy. The gleam in his eyes clearly shows that he thinks my friend finds him funny and interesting. I wonder how he would feel if he were to know the only thing Metisha finds interesting is his body. The whore has been licking her lips for the past ten minutes. I would surely laugh my heart out the day she comes home with STDs.

"Juley." I give her a dirty look. She definitely isn't thinking straight anymore. Me? Juley? Ugh!

"We're leaving." She entwines her fingers with that of Hulky Freddy.

"You don't even know him." I honestly can't believe this girl.

Giving me a 'duh' look, she picks up my clutch from the counter. I look at her, confused. "I made you come here. Now, I'm leaving and so also are you."

"But.."

"Come on." She drags me up with her left hand. With a frown on my face, I quickly pay the bartender who only smiles in return.

As we exit the bar, I see Metisha and her beau for tonight head towards a blue Mustang. That's definitely Hulky's car.

"And just where do you both think you're going?" I ask, slowly folding my arms.

Like as if she just remembered she didn't come alone, she turns to me with a smile which looks insincere to me and makes her way towards me, still holding her flavour for tonight.

Before she could say anything, I face Hulky with a stern look. "You may or may not have heard about me. If you haven't, you are free to consult Google." He stares at me, confused. "Now, listen to me," I move closer to him, "if anything, I mean anything at all happens to this girl, "I point at Metisha, "I will track you down and make you eat your liver for breakfast, your kidney for lunch and your intestines for dinner. Am I clear?"

For a minute, he looks at me with a terrified expression. Then, unexpectedly, a grin forms on his face. "Yes ma'am," he says smugly.

I glare at him.

"Alright. Are we done here, Mommy?" Metisha moans.

I sigh. "Metisha, you know.."

"Yes, I know you're worried about my safety. Don't worry about me. Don't you know too much of worrying causes grey hair?" Her eyes suddenly widens as she looks at my head. "Oh look! I can see them already!"

"Shut up." I can't help but smile.

She places a kiss on my left cheek before grabbing Hulky's hand. "Let's go, Teddy."

"It's Freddy."

"Sorry, Freddy."

I shake my head at the two and wait till they drive off before heading towards my car.

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