#NewClassicRTMC

Chapter 7
Deal

The awkward silence was very uncomfortable and suffocating. I couldn't move from where I was seated. On the other hand, Ike looked unbothered in front of me, not backing down from Auntie Divina's intense gaze.

Ever since Ike arrived to visit me at home, it was like Auntie Divina put a chain around his neck. She asked him to sit on the dining table after I introduced him to her. I thought she would ask him to join us for lunch, but she just stared at him like a suspicious criminal. She wouldn't even let me sit beside him.

No one dared to pay attention to the dishes served on the table. The foods were getting cold because of the silent confrontation between their gazes. Pakiramdam ko ay mababaliw na ako kung magpapatuloy pa ito.

Kung alam ko lang ay hindi ko na sana pinapunta si Ike sa araw ng day off ni Auntie Divina. Kaya nga lang ay naisip kong mabuti na rin ipakilala ko si Ike sa kanya dahil baka kung ano ang isipin niya kapag itinago ko.

"Kung may gusto po kayong itanong sa akin, huwag na po kayong mag-alangan," matapang na binasag ni Ike ang katahimikan sa pagitan naming tatlo. "I'll answer all of your questions honestly."

Ike never fails to amaze me when it comes to showing his composed self whenever he's being wronged, under pressure or sitting on a hot seat. It was like he knows himself well to be troubled by how others perceived him. He's got too much self-confidence that I aspire to have.

Pinagsalikop ni Auntie Divina ang kanyang mga kamay na nakapatong sa lamesa. Medyo umabante rin ang kanyang katawan upang mas matingnan nang malapitan si Ike.

"Kung ganoon, taga-saan ka?" walang pag-aalangan ni Auntie Divina na simulan ang kanyang pagtatanong. "Ang alam ko lang ay sa resort ka tumutuloy ngayon, pero hindi ka naman talaga taga-Palawan, hindi ba?"

Tipid na tumango si Ike. "Taga-Manila po ako."

"Ilang taon ka na?"

"Twenty-five po."

"Nakapagtapos ka ba ng pag-aaral?"

"Opo."

"Ano ang tinapos mo?"

"Bachelor of Arts in Music Production."

My lips parted as I heard what program he majored in. That was the program I wanted to take before. Kaya nga lang ay walang ganoong kurso na ino-offer dito.

"Ano ngayon ang trabaho mo?" Hindi pa rin tapos si Auntie Divina sa pagtatanong sa kanya.

"Nasa banda po ako," Ike vaguely answered her question, omitting the fact that he's a famous artist and celebrity.

"Nasa banda ka?" Dinig ko ang pagkadismaya sa boses ni Auntie Divina nang malaman iyon.

Napalingon ako sa kanya. Mukhang naging mas lalo siyang hindi naging kampante sa pagpasok ni Ike sa aking buhay.

I knew exactly why she became more wary of Ike the moment she heard that he's a part of a band. She must be reminded of my father who left my mother. Hindi ko rin siya masisisi kung nabahiran no'n ang tingin niya kay Ike.

"At ano naman ang posisyon mo sa banda?"

"Lead guitarist."

Mas lalong napangiwi si Auntie Divina. He has the same position as my father. Parehas silang lead guitarist ng kani-kanilang banda.

Tumikhim si Auntie Divina at sumandal sa kanyang upuan. Iniwas ko ang aking tingin sa kanya at saka ibinagsak sa aking platong wala pang kalaman-laman.

"Aaminin ko sa 'yong hindi maganda ang tingin ko sa mga nagbabanda, pero hindi ko na papabulaanan kung bakit," diretsong sabi ni Auntie Divina kay Ike. "Madami nang pinagdaanan ang pamangkin ko sa buhay kaya sana lang ay wala kang binabalak na maaaring makasakit sa kanya."

Muli akong napaangat ng tingin kay auntie. I wanted to stop her from giving unnecessary reminders to Ike, but she looked too serious. Hindi ko maiwasan ang mahiya. Kung pangaralan niya si Ike ay kala mong nililigawan ako nito gayong hindi naman ganoon ang kaso.

"Naiintindihan ko po," agad na sabi ni Ike. "Makakaasa po kayong wala akong masamang binabalak kay Aleena."

Tumango-tango si Auntie Divina kahit na alam kong hindi pa rin siya gaanong nagtitiwala kay Ike. However, I knew it wouldn't take long for Ike to gain her trust. He's a great person. I was sure that auntie would come to realize that soon.

"Pasensya ka na kay auntie, ah?" Nahihiya kong paghingi ng paumanhin kay Ike nang saglit kaming iniwanan ni Auntie Divina at pumasok sa kanyang kuwarto pagkatapos naming kumain ng hapunan. "Nag-aalala lang talaga siya dahil nangyari sa akin kamakailan..."

Ike nodded his head and smiled to assure me. "It's alright," he said. "I understand. She's just worried about you."

Bahagya akong ngumuso at tumango din. Hindi ko alam kung talaga bang ayos lang sa kanya, but I really hoped that he wasn't offended.

"I just thought that I should've introduced myself to her earlier instead of coming here when she didn't even know me yet," he continued, slightly blaming himself. "Pagkakamali ko 'yon."

Mabilis akong napailing. "Hindi! May kasalanan din ako," agad kong sabi. "Hindi ko nasabi sa kanya ang tungkol sa 'yo dahil hindi ko talaga alam kung paano ko sasabihin... Baka kasi kung ano ang isipin niya..."

I bit my lower lip. My eyes dropped on my hands as I played with my fingers.

"The day before I met you, I was supposed to fly to Manila..." I finally decided to tell him what happened. "Mayroon akong nakilalang agent. I don't know if it was her really name, pero ang sabi niya ay Elsie ang pangalan niya."

I felt Ike shifted on his seat while he listened intently to my story. I remained staring on my hands though. I couldn't look straight in his eyes while sharing something embarrassing.

"Bago siya, madami nang sumubok na manloko sa akin. But I could immediately sense that they were just fraud," sabi ko. "Agent Elsie was pretty promising. Madami siyang pinakita sa aking mga dokumento para mapatunayan niya ang sarili niya. She told me she was an agent from Top Star Records. May mga pictures pa siya kasama ang mga artista. At dahil alam ko nang nanloko lang siya, siguro ay edited lang ang mga 'yon."

"Is that why you were so wary of me that night?" Ike asked while I took a second to breathe deeply. "Because I told you that I'm a member of a band from Top Star?"

Remembering how I talked back to him that night and treated him like a total creeper, I felt my cheeks heated. The fact that he opened up about the way I acted made me feel so embarrassed.

Habang kagat ang ibabang labi ay mabilis akong sumulyap sa kanya. Wala siyang emosyon habang nakatingin sa akin. Tumango na lamang ako bilang sagot at saka ibinalik ang tingin sa aking mga kamay.

"I'll see if we can find her," he suddenly said which got my whole attention. "Do you have a picture of her? Any other information?"

"Hahanapin mo siya?" paninigurado ko.

Mabilis siyang tumango. "We'll file a case against her. She should be jailed."

"Hindi naman na kailangan 'yon..." sabi ko na lang.

Napakunot ang noo ni Ike. "Hindi lang ikaw ang napahamak niya, Aleena. She used our company's name to commit fraud. She tarnished our company's reputation. Top Star can file legal actions against her, and you can get the justice you deserve," paliwanag niya sa akin. "What made you think that she doesn't have to pay for what she did?"

I bit my lower lip hard. It seemed like Ike wasn't in favor of my decision to just let it all go.

"I told myself that it was the last time I was going to try and reach my dreams," I continued. "I took that as a sign to stop kidding myself. I wanted to get out of that fantasy and start living in the real world where I need to be practical and think about surviving. I need to think about my future. Kaya naisip kong hindi na 'yon kailangan pa..."

"And you think your future doesn't involve making music and performing in front of thousands of people?"

His straightforward question made me feel like I was struck by lightning. My eyes slightly widened. Once again, I tried to meet his eyes. I saw a hint of disappointment in them. I was feeling bad that I couldn't get myself to look longer.

"You're telling me that you dream to become an artist but you can't picture yourself living that dream?" Ike was wearing no expression but the word 'disappointment' was written all over his face. "You told me you lost confidence in yourself after being rejected and scammed. But from the very beginning, did you really have it in you? Or are you still constantly looking for it until now?"

His words pierced my heart like a very sharp dagger. It went through effortlessly. It hurt so much but I couldn't complain because I was the one who pushed the dagger into my chest.

Ike wasn't just speaking to me but he was speaking to my soul. He reached the deepest part of me. He saw through me that no one had ever succeeded before.

"You have the talent, but it's not enough. You need to find confidence in yourself. Put all your excuses, doubts, and inhibitions aside," he told me, holding my gaze and not letting go. "I believe in you, Aleena. Why don't you try and believe in yourself too?"

I had a lot of realizations after speaking with Ike. Hanggang sa pagtulog ay dala-dala ko ang kanyang mga salita.

He's right. Everything he said was all on point.

My dreams are very clear to me. I have my goals. I know exactly what I want. But even though I know all those things, the way I see my future is still blurry. It's like my future is filled with nothing but uncertainties. Every time I would try to envision the future I want to have, I'd always get blindfolded by my current struggles.

Fear was always getting a hold of me. I want to embrace the uncertainty that the future offers, but what if it's like the stem of a rose that's full of thorns? What if I'd only end up getting hurt and bleeding in the end?

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko nagawang pakalmahin ang aking isipan. Nagawa kong hilahin ang sarili ko upang makatulog. I thought Ike would stop coming to our house after I became such a disappointment but I was surprised to see him having a conversation with Auntie Divina.

Compared to what happened during their first meeting, they surprisingly looked comfortable with each other. My auntie was even smiling while talking to him. I thought I was just hallucinating but they're unexpectedly getting along so well. Hindi ko alam kung paano nangyari 'yon, ngunit ayaw ko na ring kuwestyunin pa. I should just be thankful that they're finally on good terms.

Si Ike ang unang nakapansin ng aking presensya. I was slightly afraid that he might give me the same displeased look, but he just smiled at me―and that was more than enough to get the heavy feelings off my chest.

"Ay sa wakas at gising ka na!" Tumayo si auntie at agad lumapit sa akin. Iniabot niya ang kanyang mahabang listahan sa akin at pera pambili ng mga nakasulat doon. "Kailangan na nating mamili sa bayan dahil malapit nang maubos ang stock natin. Ang sabi ni Ike ay sasamahan ka na raw niya dahil medyo madami-dami ang kailangan mong bilhin."

Dahil mahirap bumiyahe patungo sa bayan nang walang sasakyan, kapag namimili kami ni Auntie Divina ng groceries ay sinisigurado na naming magtatagal ito ng halos isang buwan. Madalas ay sinasamahan pa kami ni Gian dahil mayroon siyang sasakyan.

"Oh, siya't pupunta na ako sa resort," agad na paalam ni Auntie Divina sa akin bago nilingon saglit si Ike. "Ikaw na muna ang bahala sa pamangkin ko, ha, Ike?"

Ike nodded right away. "Huwag po kayong mag-alala."

Muling tumango si Auntie Divina at saka tuluyang lumabas na ng bahay para pumasok sa trabaho. Nagkatinginan kami ni Ike nang makaalis si auntie.

He raised his brows while staring at me. "Hindi pa tayo aalis?"

Bahagyang napaawang ang aking mga labi. "Uhm, maliligo muna ako. Sandali lang."

Nagmadali ako sa pagligo at pag-aayos nang aking sarili upang hindi siya paghintayin nang matagal. I chose to wear very casual clothes, suited for the scorching weather―shorts and tee shirt. Inilagay ko ang listahan, wallet, cellphone at susi ng bahay sa aking maliit na body bag bago lumabas ng aking kuwarto.

I found Ike killing his time by looking at the picture frames displayed at the living room. Medyo nahiya pa ako dahil nakatitig siya sa aking graduation photo noong high school. I wasn't confident with how I looked when I was younger. I know I look way better now.

Kaswal akong nilingon ni Ike mula sa pagtingin sa aking mga litrato. "Are you done already? Ang bilis mo naman."

"Hindi naman ako matagal maligo at mag-ayos," sabi ko na lang at kinuha ang tatlong ecobag na nakatiklop sa may drawer sa kusina. Inilagay ko 'yon sa aking body bag dahil ayon ang gagamitin naming pambibit sa mga pinamili.

He nodded and he seemed like he was thinking of something deep before he spoke again. "Do you have a ballcap? Can I borrow it for today?"

Noong una ay hindi ko alam kung bakit siya nanghiram sa akin nang sumbrero, ngunit pagkarating namin sa bayan at nakita ko siyang binababa ang dila ng sombrero ay roon ko lamang naalala na isa nga pala siyang artista. It was easy for me to forget about that because I see him as someone who's just like me.

Seeing him scanning around the area while being careful, I couldn't help but feel pity for him. I thought he's not afraid of anything, but I realized that he's afraid of people. He's afraid of being found by those who would only take advantage of him and his name.

Noong nandoon lamang kami sa aming barangay ay wala siyang pakialam sa kanyang paligid. Pero dahil dito sa bayan ay maraming taong nakapalibot sa amin, kailangan niyang mag-ingat. It was the only time I saw him lost his control over his emotions. He lost his calm. Hindi ko alam kung bakit siya sumama sa akin kahit na delikado iyon para sa kanya.

Feeling the huge urge to protect him, I didn't think twice as I held his wrist. Ike snapped his head to my direction. I could see his anxieties floating in his eyes.

Hoping that it would take his worries away just like what he did to me earlier, I gave him a reassuring smile. His lips slightly parted.

"Tara na doon sa palengke!" masiglang pag-aya ko sa kanya at saka siya hinila paalis sa plaza kung saan kami ibinaba ng tricycle.

Ike looked dumbfounded a bit but he still let me drag him away. Most market vendors were old enough not to recognize Ike. Or maybe they just really didn't care because they were busy making a living.

Napansin din iyon ni Ike kaya medyo nawala na rin sa kanya ang pag-aalala sa kanyang paligid. He relaxed while we were in the middle of shopping in the market. He carried most of our groceries while I did all the purchase. Halos dalawang oras din ang itinagal namin sa loob ng palengke.

It was hot inside and we were sweating. Kaya naman nang matapos kami at makalabas ay laking ginhawa para sa aming dalawa.

"You haven't eaten yet," puna ni Ike habang naglalakad kami pabalik sa plaza kung nasaan ang sakayan ng tricycle. "Gusto mo bang kumain muna bago tayo bumalik? You must be hungry now. May nadaanan tayong karinderya kanina. We can eat there."

Knowing he noticed that simple thing made me feel like he was really keeping an eye on me. I don't know why but that little gesture made my heart skip a beat.

"Huwag na. Sa bahay na lang at magluluto ako," nakangiti kong sabi sa kanya. "Doon ka na rin kumain ng tanghalian, ah?"

"Hmm, okay... But how about drinks?" pilit niya at tinuro sa akin ang isang kiosk na nagbebenta ng freshly squeezed lemon juice. "It's hot. We should drink something refreshing. Ako na ang bibili."

Because he was so persistent, I let him buy our drinks. He let me sat on a bench under the shade of trees along with our groceries. Inikot ko ang tingin ko sa buong plaza at huminto ang aking mga mata sa malaking tarpaulin na nakapaskil.

It was an announcement for a singing contest which would happen three weeks later. Registrations for the singing contest would end next week. I suddenly felt competitive. I didn't bother looking at the prizes, but I got that strange feeling of wanting to win just for acknowledgement.

Naisip kong iyon na ang sagot na hinihintay ko. If I wanted to prove my skill and convince myself that I deserve to be scouted by Ike, the only way to do it was to win the contest. Isa iyan sa paraan upang mapatunayan ko ang aking sarili.

"Are you thinking of joining the contest?"

Hindi ko namalayan na nakabalik na pala si Ike. Dala-dala niya ang aming inumin.

Determined to prove myself, I stood up from the bench and looked straight into Ike's eyes. I clenched my fist, smiled at him and said, "Let's make a deal."

He slightly frowned. "A deal?"

"Sasali ako sa contest na 'yan," sabi ko sa kanya. "Kapag nanalo ako, sasama ako sa 'yo sa Manila. Kapag hindi..." I trailed for a fleeting as I swallowed a lump in my throat. "Kapag hindi ay titigil na talaga ako at mananatili na lang ako rito sa Roxas. That's the deal."